Raven (6 page)

“My mom got married after you left. Tom. That was her husband. She changed and so did he. Mom wasn’t as carefree as she was when we were little and Tom turned out to be an abusive bastard. I came home from school one day and they were fighting in the living room.” Suddenly, my palms get really sweaty and it feels like he’s turned the air conditioning off and the heater on. Swallowing past the giant lump in the back of my throat, I continue.

“He hit her that day,” I whisper, seeing everything vividly behind my closed lids. I don’t realize I’m crying until Garrett wipes a tear from my cheek.

“Did he hit you, too?” he asks, concerned and also infuriated.

“No, he didn’t,” I respond, fumbling with my thoughts on how to properly express what happened from what I can remember. I was blacked out for the majority of my attack, but I know the main details after reading the police reports over and over again.

“I hit him. After he knocked my mom around, I attacked him. I broke bones in his face and hurt him bad enough that he was sent to the hospital. I was so scared that he was going to come back and kill her, Garrett, I was terrified.” The tears fall freely as I start feeling everything I had that day.

“Is that how she died? Did he come back for her?” he asks sympathetically, without any hint of disappointment in his voice.

“No. I was arrested after the attack. The police had a job to do, I understand that now. After I was cleared of all charges, I went back home and my mom told me that I had to go live with Elaine for a few months until me and Tom could be under the same roof together again. I was so fucking angry with her. She chose him over me. That should have never happened but it did. It was a little less than a week until I had to leave and she wanted to spend some time with me, but I didn’t want shit to do with her.” It’s getting harder and harder to talk through all the hiccupping and violent shaking of my body. Big, fat, ugly tears continue to stream down my face.

“The last thing I said to her was
‘I’ll never forgive you for this. I hope I never turn out to be as weak as you. You turned your back on me and I don’t want shit to do with you’ and then she was gone. She hung herself, Garrett. I had never seen a dead body before. She was just there. Her face was purple and bloated. It was terrible. The doctors said that she had been gone for about an hour. There was nothing I could have done to save her. The police called Elaine that night to come get me. She stayed at the house with me until after the funeral and then I moved here.” I remember the looks on everyone’s faces when I said I wanted to be home. Yeah, it was creepy, but I needed to feel close to my mom.

Garrett pulls me onto his lap, cradling me like a child and rubbing my back soothingly as I let go of all the emotions that I had been holding in for so long.

“Shhhhh,” he croons, trying to comfort me.

The next thing I know, I’m being carried through the living area into the bathroom. Garrett gently sets me down on the toilet and turns the shower on. Testing the temperature, he pulls the curtain back and grabs a towel from the closet just outside. He stands me up, strips off the tee shirt, unclasps my bra and removes my underwear. Without one sideways glance, only looking at me with love and compassion, he walks me to the tub and helps me over the edge.

“Thank you so much for telling me what happened. I’ll hold your secrets in the deepest parts of my heart, never to share them with anyone else.” He kisses my forehead and rubs my arm. “You’re going to take a shower and wash away those memories. You’ve gotten them out, and now they’re gone. No more demons, baby. When you’re done, put that shirt back on and meet me back on the sofa. I’ll get us something to eat and we’ll watch something funny.”

More tears form in the corne
rs of my eyes. Trying to blink them away, I stare deeply into Garrett’s blue eyes and see nothing but unconditional love—something I thought I had with my mom until it was gone. I know Elaine loves me, but I don’t think it’s unconditional. Garrett never fails to surprise me.

“I love you so much, Garrett. I’m so blessed to have you.”

“Baby, this isn’t even love. It’s so much more. The feelings I have for you go far beyond what most people will ever experience in their lives. When God created us, he cut us from the same mold, always a part of one another. I’m never going to let you feel that kind of pain again if I can help it.”

With one more kiss that almost leads to Garrett climbing in the shower with me, he leaves so I can handle my business. Washing quickly, not bothering with my hair, I’m out of the shower, dried and dressed in ten minutes flat. I don’t want to spend one more second away from him. He’s leaving in just a couple days and I want to make the most of the time we have left.

Once he’s done with the service, or at least when I’m eighteen, life will be so much better. Sometimes, you have to go through the worst to get to the best.

I’m ready.

Chapter
8

“So what really happened with Valerie?” Garrett asks, taking the last slice of pizza. We’re halfway through
Super Troopers
, and unlike my handsome boyfriend, I can’t laugh my ass off and eat at the same time.

“You want the truth or a part of the truth?”

“The whole truth, so help you God.”

Turning to face him¸ I snatch away the half slice he has in his hand and take an exaggerated bite. Washing it down with the rest of my soda, I debate how much I should say.
Well, shit. I can’t lie to him, especially after everything he’s done for me tonight.

“I not so kindly told her that if she didn’t stop rubbing all over my boyfriend like a cat in heat, I was going to break her arm. I might have also told her that I’ve beaten a grown man and I’d have no problem with a tramp like her.”

Laughter fills my ears as Garrett throws his head back, not hiding how hilarious he finds the entire situation. It’s contagious, because the next thing I know, I’m joining him in his giggle fit, offering a few snorts along the way. We both try to stop laughing, but every time we look at each other, it starts back up again. Neither one of us can speak until there are happy tears running down both of our cheeks.

“Did you really say that to her?” he asks, trying to catch his breath and gripping his stomach.

“I sure as shit did. Nobody comes between me and my man,” I say, imitating the most annoying person to be on that show,
Big Brother
, in the history of … ever.

“Oh, okay, Rachel,” he responds. Suddenly
, a memory of us hanging out at his parents’ house in the basement watching every episode of that season pops in my mind. However, just hearing her name has me shuddering. I mean, really, could any one person be more annoying? Maybe Valerie. I’m sure Val could give Rachel a run for her money in the “if you speak one more time, I’m going to jab a knitting needle in my own ear drum” department.

“I’m serious, though. She was all over you all day and I tried to be nice at first, kindly asking her to back the fuck off, but she wanted to act tough.
Someone
had to put that bitch in her place.” I shrug, not wanting to give Valerie any more of our time together.

Leaning into his side, Garrett drapes his arm around my shoulder, resting his hand extremely close to my breast that’s only covered by the thin material of the shirt. Tossing around in my head if I want to make a move on him tonight, or wait until the night before he leaves, my decision is taken from me when he angles my head up and kisses me ever so gently.

Repositioning myself, I climb onto his lap, straddling his legs, and deepen our kiss. I’ve been sitting so long that the space between my thighs is warm. In my brazen movement, the cold air hits the warmth that’s also becoming very wet, sending a shiver throughout my body, reminding me that I’m not wearing anything under the shirt. Garrett palms the naked flesh of my ass and groans in my mouth, setting my entire body on fire.

It’s like I can feel everything, including the tension in the room. Every hair stands on end and all my nerves are activated, leaving me panting into Garrett’s mouth and my overly sensitive breasts rubbing across his muscular chest.

Knowing deep down that there’s never going to be a more special night to give myself to Garrett, I do the only thing that makes sense to me in this moment. Letting go of the back of his head, I grab the bottom hem of the shirt and pull it casually over my head, tossing it on the floor behind me. My bashfulness suddenly rears its ugly head and I regret disrobing so quickly, especially with all of the lights on. I know my body is in the best shape it’s ever been, but I’m a woman with insecurities. That sounds a little redundant … an insecure woman.

I try to cover my breasts with my hands and lean as
far forward as I can to cover the rest of me. Garrett locks in on my tense demeanor and gently places his hands on my shoulders, not allowing me to hide.

“What’s wrong, Ri?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never been completely naked around anyone. Not even the girls in the locker room. I just … I don’t want you to not like what you see, and if I don’t show you, you can’t see it. Problem solved.”

“Would it make you feel better if I was naked
, too?” I think about it for a second and come to the conclusion that if he’s naked, I’m going to feel even worse about myself. His body is one of perfection. Not all small and lanky like those other boys, but a manly kind of muscular. If he looks this amazing now, I can only imagine how he’s going to look when he comes home from the Army. I shake my head.

I divert my gaze from his pleading eyes, only to look down and notice the erection between our bodies.
If that isn’t a confidence booster I’m not sure what is. Trying to refocus anywhere but
there
just draws me in further. I lick my lips and the daredevil in me comes out again as I untie the string on his waistband.

These damn hormonal shifts need to calm down. One second I feel like I’m seven years old again, giving an oral report on Abraham Lincoln in front of the entire classroom and then,
bam
, two seconds later all I can think about is giving oral. What in the actual fuck is wrong with me? Am I shy or horny? Scared or excited? Hell if I know. Looks like I’m gonna have to roll with the punches here, follow my body’s lead. If it scares Garrett off, if he thinks I’m bi-polar, he’ll have to deal with that. I know what I need … at least I think I do.
Here goes nothing.

“What are you doing?” Garrett croaks as I pull the elastic band of his pants out far enough to free his erection. Palming his length, I stroke it from base to tip a few times, mesmerized by the little droplet of moisture coming out of the slit on the top.

“Exploring,” I respond, inching off his lap and onto the floor. With my knees planted between his spread feet, I continue stroking him, never taking my eye off the liquid at the tip.

Curiosity gets the best of me. Everything in me, call it woman’s intuition, begs me to stick out my tongue and taste it. And I do. Not as great as one would expect, a little on the salty side, but it doesn’t taste terrible. The daring side of me continues my journey, not just sticking with the tip, but curious to see how much of him I can fit in my mouth. My lips part and I work my mouth around him, cautious to keep my teeth out of the picture.

When he’s as deep as I can get him, I close around his cock, adding a little suction. Garrett’s hips buck, sending him further down my throat. Slightly gagging, I pull back with tears clouding my vision.

“I’m so sorry, Ri. I don’t know why I did that. Just seemed like the right thing to do and it felt so damn good.” At his praise, my boldness c
ontinues. Forgetting about my gag reflex and the strange feelings, I maneuver my lips around him, adding a fist at the base to keep him from going too far again. Finding a rhythm with my mouth and hand, I work him until his cock pulses.

Garrett tries to push me back, but something in me screams to see this through until the end. Overpowering him in his weakened state, I keep going until warm spurts of come splash in my mouth, on my tongue. I consider spitting it out, but then I see the satisfaction in Garrett’s eyes and I do the only thing I can at the time. I swallow every last bit, savoring his taste, knowing that it’s because of me that he got off.
I
did this.

Whatever I was doing, I did it right.

“Rian. That was … I don’t even know. Fantastic? Excellent? Better than anything I’ve ever felt before? I don’t know, Ri. Wow.” Catching Garrett Rhodes speechless is something few people have ever been able to do, and I just did. Inside, I’m dancing around, fist pumping in the air, not giving a shit if anyone’s watching. On the outside, I’m staring at him with lust filled eyes. If I can make him feel this good, God only knows what he can do for me.

“I’m glad you liked it. It was my first time and I’m glad it was with you.” There’s no need to be bashful now. He’s seen me completely naked
. Actually, I’m still without a stitch of clothing
and
I’ve had his dick in my mouth.

“If I would have known that a blow job could be that awesome, I would have done that years ago.” Confusion strikes my face. Cocking my head to the side, I raise an eyebrow, silently asking him to elaborate. “I’ve never done that before. With anyone. All the guys talked about it, but you see the girls at this school. I didn’t want to talk to half of them and the others
… they’re so crazy, I didn’t want their mouths on my dick. They might chomp it off or something.”

“I was your first, too?” I ask, eyes wide and a smile wider than a child
during their first time at Disney.

“Yep, and it couldn’t make me happier.
You
couldn’t make me happier.” Garrett tenderly lifts me back up on the couch, laying me down across the cushions. Putting a pillow behind my head, he kisses my neck, trailing down my breasts, paying special attention to them individually before moving further down my body, past my navel. “Now it’s my turn to return the favor. I don’t know much about all this, but I
do
know that you should
never
receive and not give.”

Garrett continues inching down my body until he’s nestled between my thighs. I don’t expect him to be fantastic at this, I’m not even sure I was fantastic at what I did to him, but with the first swipe of his tongue against my center, I’m lost in pure bliss. More than that. Dare I say
ecstasy? Yep, I’m going there. I have never felt something so tender yet explosive in my life.

“Garrett,” I moan, raising my hips to meet his mouth.

Once he figures out a pattern that has me withering beneath him, he dives in, no holds barred. He’s going for gold. Every time he laps over the most sensitive place, it feels like all my nerve endings are in that one little cluster, my legs quake and the most wonderful sensation builds in my belly. When he
puts his lips over that area, sucks lightly and I explode into a million pieces. I assume what I’m experiencing is an orgasm and I can totally understand why everyone always talks about how amazing it is.

Coming down from the euphoric high, Garrett wipes his face with the blanket next to me and hovers over my body. Between my legs that are shamelessly still spread as wide as I can get them, he rests his lower body against mine. Feeling the heat radiating from his dick sparks another w
ildfire deep inside my core, begging for release yet again.

“Garrett?”

“Yeah, baby,” he responds, breathless.

“I want you to be my first.”

“Only if you’ll be mine.” Joy floods my heart. I had always assumed, having girlfriends like the slut that is Valerie, and the other girls talking about how good he is, that he hadn’t been a virgin in some time. Just goes to show how catty some bitches can be when they feel like they won’t be the top prize anymore.

Garrett climbs off of me, walks over to where his jeans are laying across the arm of the chair and pulls a condom from his wallet. Back on the couch, he rips open the foil packet and rolls the latex down his length. I feel like he’s been hard all night. I’m not sure if that’s normal or not, but you won’t see me complaining.

Positioning himself at my entrance, he stares deeply into my eyes and the unconditional love I saw earlier is still there, shining back at me. I nod my head, giving him the go ahead. Slowly and carefully, he pushes himself inside, inch by inch, giving me time to acclimate to the new sensation. It’s an awkward feeling, but feels so natural. A sharp twinge of pain strikes me when he’s almost all the way in. Taking a rather large gulp of air, I breathe through the discomfort.

Garrett tries to pull out after seeing the moment of fear in my eyes. “Please don’t stop. It’s getting better already. I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to hurt the first time,” I joke, trying to keep the mood light.

He takes my cue and follows my lead. After he’s completely inside of me, I relish for a moment in the fullness. Not just in my most private place, but in my heart. Garrett’s consumed me yet again and I’ve never felt like anything was more right than this right now.

After a
few shallow thrusts, Garrett finally realizes he’s not going to break me. It lasts only about five minutes, and there’s no climactic ending, but it’s the greatest experience of my life.

Discarding the condom and pulling me onto his chest, Garrett and I fall asleep on the couch with sounds of infomercials playing in the background.

You know you’re in exactly the right place in life when your reality is better than your dreams.