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Authors: Gerry Bartlett

Tags: #Horror & Ghost Stories

Real Vampires Don't Diet (49 page)

BOOK: Real Vampires Don't Diet
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"I guess you're right."

"Glory! You must see these shoes I bought." Flo looked Ellen over. "Latest spring styles. One pair may work for my honeymoon. This will be number twelve with Ricardo I think. We go to an island this time. I love Capri, don't you?" Flo focused on Ellen again and frowned.

"Oh, I'd better go." Ellen had the faintly overwhelmed look mortals sometimes got around Flo. Maybe my BFF was doing a little mind control. She had a bad habit of sending mental messages to mortals. Nothing like the power of suggestion

"Thanks for the cookies." I walked Ellen to the door, then hurried back to Flo. "And thanks for the rescue. I just wanted to know if Tina was alive or dead. After that, forget her."

"I hear you, girlfriend. Now look at these shoes."

"Let's take them in the back, in case a customer comes in." I turned to Bri, who had already pulled out the cookies and was dividing them with Valdez. "Bri, will you handle the front for a while?"

"Sure, Glory. You girls have fun. The V-man and I are busy here." All this was said around a mouthful of cookie.

"I need a drink." I headed for the back and the refrigerator I kept stocked with synthetic.

"Still off the hunting?" Flo pulled a shoebox out of her bag.

"Definitely. I can barely get this down after the other night and what happened with Westwood. I don't think I'm a normal vampire." I took a swig of B positive and wrinkled my nose. "Whatever a normal vampire is supposed to be."

"I cheer you up,
mia arnica.
See my Balenciaga gladiator sandals. A new color. The next big thing.
St?"
Flo lifted them carefully out of the box. "And look, a new magazine. I finally find the perfect dress for you as maid of honor. I listen. You want slenderizing, no? This is black.
Perfetto!"

We amused ourselves for the next ten minutes with shoes and wedding plans.

"The new council members will be groomsmen. I'm still working on who else I should ask to be a bridesmaid."

"What do you mean 'new' council members? What happened to the old ones? And why didn't they show up the night of the storm?"

"Pah. Because they were stupid, macho men who cared more about which headphones to buy than about their duties." Flo carefully laid her bridal magazine on the table. "That's why Damie fired them. They spent so long arguing over the best ones to buy in the stereo store that they didn't arrive at Israel's poor house until the fire trucks did. Which reminds me" Flo gave me one of her looks that meant she had an agenda.

"What?" I sat on the oak table while she settled into the chair.

"Spill, Glory. What's it like living with Israel?"

"Hard on Jerry, of course. He has to shift and come in on the roof while Ray's practicing at the studio with Sienna." I finished off my synthetic and headed to the bathroom to rinse out the bottle. "He hates it, but it was the logical thing to do after the fire."

"No house for Israel yet?" Flo admired her new sandals, which she hadn't yet taken off.

"No, and I don't think Nate's really looking. With the Grammys coming up, he's busy with the logistics of getting us out there. Ray's in your old room, and you couldn't blast Valdez off the foot of my bed. He's in serious bodyguard mode." Flo looked up, her dark eyes gleaming. "And how is that? Now that you've seen our Rafael as a man."

"Strange." I dumped the bottle in the recycle bin and sat on the table again. "He was really good-looking. And, of course, we're such great friends. I mean he knows
everything
about me. Even more than you do, Flo."

"Now I'm hurt. You confide in him,
mia arnica?
Am I not your best friend?"

"Of course. But you didn't live with me for five years when I was a dancer in Las Vegas. Or help me go through some problems there. Never mind."

"You won't tell me?" Flo leaned forward. "You block your thoughts. Was it a man?"

"No, money." I really didn't want to get into this.

"Pah! I won't pry then. Money comes and goes. This I understand. I have had my little emergencies. That's why I keep a stash of good jewelry in a special place in Roma. Not even my Ricardo knows this. I never be poor again, I tell you. That diamond from Israel? Keep it, girlfriend. I don't care if this was a pretend engagement. Its your future. Hide it somewhere safe."

"I couldn't" I was seeing a hard edge in my friend's eyes I hadn't seen in a while.

"Yes, you could. We have to look out for ourselves, Glory."

"She's right." Suddenly there were three of us in the room. With the same shimmering light trick the Storm God had used, Aggie materialized in front of me. The beautiful, blond Aggie, not Swamp Thing Aggie.

"Mio Dio!"
Flo leaped up, fangs down. "What the hell are you?"

"Relax, Flo. You guys weren't formally introduced at Ray's party. Meet Aglaophonos, also known as Aggie the Awful. The Siren who almost fed Will, Ray and me to Circe."

Flo snarled. "I should tear out your throat. Right after you tell me where you got those boots." Aggie laughed. "Little boutique in Capri. I have to do my shopping fairly near water. It's a Siren thing. Good for me Austin is full of lakes, rivers and creeks."

"Your Siren thing almost got me killed." I had to admit her brown leather boots were gorgeous. Hey, her whole outfit, from tan suede jacket to moss green velvet mini looked to be designer fabulous. Didn't hurt that Aggie had one of those perfect bodiessize four or lessand the kind of big blue eyes and long blond hair that probably made men willingly crash on rocks just to get a close-up look.

"Almost doesn't count." Aggie was keeping an eye on Flo. "Hey, relax, lady. I won't hurt your friend now. I came here in peace."

"Say the word, Glory, and we" Flo was frozen, just like that.

"Uh-oh. Don't think you should have done that, Aggie." I could see Flo's eyes darting around, looking for escape. I knew the feeling. A quick read of her mind was a lesson in Italian profanity.

"She was threatening me, Glory. I had to defend myself." Aggie looked down at her freshly manicured nails. I was having a hard time matching this woman with the slimy creature in the lake. "Just tell me something. Why did the storm stop the other night?"

"Circe left the area." Aggie grinned. "You guys really came through. First Casanova flies over, all hot to hit your party. Circe said he even had
your
picture on his cell phone, Glory. You dodged a bullet there, vampy."

"I wish I could have at least met the man. With his reputation" I winked at Flo who was thinking some
really
evil thoughts.

"Better you didn't. Even Circe is having a hard time roasting him. Something about how he's equipped." Aggie looked over her shoulder. "Keep thinking she's going to pop out somewhere and shoot a lightning bolt at me or turn me green, but Achy says she really has left the area, gone back to the Med where she belongs." Aggie looked wistful for a moment.

"Anyway, the goddess is a slut if you ask me. Always after handsome men. I don't think they're in hell at all. Unless servicing her is part of the fiery package. The other two vamps she nabbed were just as good-looking." Aggie shuddered. "Wouldn't want to meet either of them in a dark alley though. You should have seen the knives they were carrying. Circe better watch her backside with those two."

"So I've heard." I really hated to see Flo in statue mode. She was almost quivering, her eyes were darting frantically as she tried to break free. I sent her a mental message to give it up, that she was wasting her energy. Not that I expected her to believe me.

"Thanks to you and Ray, Glory, Circe was satisfied, Achy was satisfied and I'm back in business." Aggie flipped her hair back behind her shoulders. "Out of my ugly suit and back to what you see here." She grinned and did a model's strut around the room.

"And Charlie? The lover that started it all?"

"I told Circe to keep that rat bastard. Achy told me he'd been cheating on me with my Siren sisters. I checked it out and it was true. I finally figured out I deserve someone better. A guy like Will." Aggie sighed. "He's such a hottie."

"Great story. Now release my friend. She's going nuts." I put my hand on Flo's shoulder.

"She'd better not go after me again. I can freeze her little butt permanently. You could use her to display clothes in your front window." Aggie picked up a vintage mink hat and pulled it on. "Fun stuff here. I think I'll shop before I leave." She reached for the door.

"Aggie"

"Okay." She waved a hand and Flo collapsed, falling into a chair. "Behave, vampy. Listen to Glory about what I can do. And, sister? I bought those sandals last year. In Italia, vampy." She opened the door, then slammed it behind her.

"Quella femmina, diavola."
Flo jumped up, staggered, then fell into the chair again. "What she do to me, I not do to my worst enemy." She looked at her sandals and a big, fat tear ran down her cheeks. "Last season? No, it cannot be."

"She lied. I could see it in her face. Couldn't read her mind though. The woman's a bitch."

"That's what I said." Flo sat up straight. "Of course she lied. She's a manipulator. I should know. I am the best. That statue trick. We should try to learn it from her. And she is still in our lake. Hah! She's obviously in big trouble with her boss. Sirens should be in the big waters, not in little lakes. This Siren is here to be punished." Flo smiled and reached down to unbuckle the straps on her sandals. "We will use this Aggie person to our advantage, Glory. Not the other way around. Oops. Your cell phone ringing in the other room."

There was a knock on the door and I opened it to find Bri with my cell in her hand. "It's been ringing and now I think you have voice mail. I'm sorry, I would have brought it to you sooner, but I was helping a customer." She waved a hand toward Aggie, who was actually building a nice stack of clothes on the counter. Hmm. I could overlook obnoxious if it could make me a profit.

"Thanks, Bri. I'll check my messages." I turned to Flo who was heading out the back door. "Wait, are you sure that's safe?"

"No worries. Westwood's taken care of and Richard's in the car waiting for me. Call your man back. I bet it's Jeremiah looking for you. Oh, and when you have your dress for the Grammys, call me. I want to see it. We can pick out the perfect shoes together. This Aggie person. She is pretty. I think I ask her to be bridesmaid.
Ciao."
Flo waved and headed out. I shook my head, no longer surprised at anything Flo said, then checked my voice mail. Yep, it was Jerry. He was upstairs. Waiting for me. Ray was at the studio. Valdez was to remain in the shop and we had the apartment all to ourselves. Why wasn't I up there with the man who had always appreciated my curves and couldn't wait to get his hands on them? Why not indeed?

But I still had a few issues with the delicious Mr. Blade.

I hit speed dial on my cell and told Jerry to meet me on the roof for a little surprise. Then I loaded my water cannon. Sorry, but you don't trot out the "My mother was right about you all along" slam and go unpunished, buster. And then, hey, I was tired of being the only one wet around here. Ya know?

BOOK: Real Vampires Don't Diet
5.01Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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