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Authors: Gerry Bartlett

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BOOK: Real Vampires Know Hips Happen
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“No, of course not. We’ll go in my Porsche. I like fast cars.” He glanced at Caitlin. “And expensive things. I promise you’ll be comfortable.”

“In one of those machines? Doubt it.” Jerry trudged to the door, his shoulders slumped. “Bloody hell, you’d better help me get my mind back with this.”

“I’ll do my best.” Bart winked at Cait. “Ladies, perhaps we’ll see you in the city.”

“You bet your stethoscope you will.” Cait grabbed her designer bag. “Glory, are you still packed?”

“Yes, I didn’t bother to get out more than my toothbrush last night.”

“Then let’s go. You follow me in that rented junker I saw parked outside and turn it in. I’ll drive Jerry’s Jag. We’ll stay at the town house.” She grinned at her father, who grumbled about high-handed women. “We need to be close to the action, Da. In case Jerry’s memory needs a nudge. You know Glory is the one to remind him, don’t you?”

“I suppose. But you know how your brother is about his cars. Take care with your driving.” He shook his head as Caitlin kissed him on the cheek. “And don’t be so quick to take sides. Gloriana is not only claiming to be a Siren, she’s been acting like one. Make her tell you the whole tale, then see if you want to be her champion.”

“I will. Relax, Da. I’ll keep you posted about Jeremiah’s condition. Tell Ma hello for me.” She started ordering the long-suffering servants to bring out her luggage. “See you in town, Bart. Might even beat you there. I like fast cars too.” She smiled at the doctor.

I ended up having to deal with my own luggage since the servants weren’t so keen on helping me. Obviously they’d been listening to the conversation in the living room and I was being eyed with suspicion. By the time I was on the road, agreeing just to meet Cait in Edinburgh later as she sped away in that gleaming Jaguar, I was pretty sure that I was well out of that castle. No one there wanted me to stay and a vampire sure doesn’t like to fall into her death sleep surrounded by people she can’t trust.

•  •  •

“I
can’t believe you hit that post.” I frowned in dismay at Jerry’s beloved Jaguar and the dent in its back bumper.

“The parking is impossible along here. I had to make a space. He’ll never notice that little ding.” Cait climbed out of the car and reached back for her purse.

“From now on, I’m driving.” I looked up and down the
narrow brick street lined with expensive town houses. Bart’s offices were along there somewhere. But you’d never know it unless you looked closely at the brass plaques next to the shiny lacquered doors.

“You think you can do better? Have at it. But, remember, you will be on what you Yanks call the wrong side of the street.” Cait tossed me the keys.

“I’ll take my chances. Now which one is his office?” I started walking down the brick sidewalk.

“The green door. I looked it up on Google maps. See? There’s his name.” Cait started up the steps that led to the door. “
You
look a little green. What’s up?”

“There’s something I haven’t told you, Cait. In a way, this
is
all my fault. The attack on Jerry.” There, I’d said it and I felt better already. That is until Cait threw me up against the iron railing next to the steps. I felt the metal cutting into my back and the heat of Cait’s temper flaming from her eyes.

“Explain.” She jerked me down the steps and up the street before I had a chance to gasp out a word. Soon we were in a dark alley with only a stray cat and a garbage bin for company.

“It…it’s my mother.” I wrenched her fingers away from my throat.

“You have a mother? Since when?” Her mouth dropped open and she stepped back.

“I just found out. She’s a goddess, from Olympus. You don’t want to mess with her.”

“She’s right, Caitlin.” There was a shimmering white light and the goddess herself materialized next to us. Great, just what I needed. A visit from Mommie Dearest.

“Are you kidding me?” Cait pressed back against the wall. “This is your long-lost mother?”

“So she claims anyway. I haven’t seen a DNA test to prove it.”

“You dare doubt me, Daughter?” Thunder shook the stones under our feet and lightning lit up the sky. “You want
a blood sample? No problem. Have that doctor of yours test it and compare.” She produced a silver knife and drew a line in her palm then wiped her hand across my white silk blouse.

“Thanks a heap.” I stared down at the stain. “Couldn’t you have used a hanky?”

“I thought this was important to you.” My mother’s smile was frightening.

“You’re the one who made my brother lose his mind?” Caitlin was shaking beside me but her fangs were down. Uh-oh, the Campbell temper was alive and well in her.

“Yes, I am.” Mom actually smiled like she was proud of herself.

“You bitch!” Cait threw herself at the goddess, hands extended like she was going to tear out some hair, maybe claw that smile off Mom’s pretty face.

“Cait, no!” I needn’t have bothered. Cait bounced off what must have been a force field and landed on the bricks. Sparks flew and she looked dazed.

“What the hell?” She shook her head and I recognized the way her hair was standing on end. She’d obviously taken a good hard hit with a lightning bolt. Yep, her designer shoes would never be the same. The signature red soles were blackened.

“Get out of here, vampire, before I give you a shot of amnesia like I gave your brother.”

“Wait.” Cait got to her feet. The woman didn’t seem to know fear. She brushed off her skirt and frowned down at her shoes. I could tell she really wanted to try another attack but thought better of it. “Okay, so you claim to be Glory’s mom, are even offering up a DNA sample to prove it. Fine. But she loves my brother. Why’d you do that to him? Screw with his mind? Is that any way to treat her boyfriend?” Cait looked from me to Mom.

“I don’t owe you an explanation. Run along before I decide to fry you like bacon. Now I need to speak to my daughter alone.” She made a shooing motion.

“Geez, and I thought my mother was a tough broad.”
Cait gave me a pitying look then took off as fast as her scorched pumps could carry her. She stopped at the street entrance. “I’ll meet you in Bart’s office, Glory.”

“Keep this our secret, Cait. Please?” I had probably blown it by sharing my involvement in Jerry’s problem.

“For now.” Thunder clapped and lightning sizzled close enough to make her hair rise and swirl around her head. I saw her swallow then give my mother a middle finger salute. I closed my eyes, waiting for my friend to go up in smoke. Just in time I heard her say, “Okay! Whatever you say.” I opened my eyes just as she ran around the corner and out of sight.

Five

I
faced off with my mother. “Well, you’ve got my attention. What do you want? Is there anything I can do to get you to restore Jerry’s memory?” I kept my back against the rough stone wall. The glimmering, strangely mesmerizing vision that claimed to be my mother solidified in front of me and she actually smiled. It was a terrifying sight.

“So happy you asked, Daughter.” She had put herself in modern street clothes for this visit, a designer dress that made the most of her perfect figure. Was she planning to stick around, mix with mortals? I shook my head at the thought.

“Don’t keep me in suspense. What is it? Some hoops for me to jump through? I will do anything to get Jerry’s mind back where it belongs.” I couldn’t keep from cringing when she moved even closer and snapped her fingers. To my relief it was only to materialize a designer handbag which she opened to pull out a lipstick. She grabbed my chin and had the nerve to hold it steady while she ran the tube over my lips.

“Good to know.” She closed the lipstick. “There, that’s better. You were looking pale. Always put your best face
forward, Gloriana. There’s no excuse for going out in public looking less than your best.”

“You’re giving me beauty tips?” I stifled the urge to wipe the stuff off. “Come on, I’m in pain here. Jerry, the love of my life, is lost in a mental fog. What are we going to do about it?”

“We. Love that word. First you are going to agree to a few terms.” She pulled out a compact and dabbed powder on her nose. She started to hand it to me then sighed. “Vampire. No reflection. It is just not to be borne.”

“Bear it. I’m staying this way. Whatever deal you have spinning in your mind, that part’s off the table. I’m not coming to live in Olympus. I can’t imagine anything worse. You forget. I’ve met the Storm God.”

“I admit the man is a dead bore with his blustering and chauvinist attitude.” She made a face. “But he’s the exception. There are some really delightful males to be enjoyed there. And that’s part of the ‘deal,’ as you so crudely put it, that I will have you make with me.”

“What do you mean? I have a guy. Jerry. I’m doing this so I can try to win him back.” I glanced at the opening to the alley. Every once in a while someone would walk past, but it was night and this row of doctors’ offices wasn’t exactly a tourist mecca, or even open for business now except for a certain vampire’s suite. If anyone noticed two women talking here, I couldn’t imagine what they would think.

“Relax, Gloriana, no one will see us. I’ve put a vanishing spell around us. We’re invisible to everyone, even your friend Caitlin, should she return.”

“Fine. Good trick. Now tell me what you’ve got up your sleeve.” I had to admire those sleeves. Vintage Dior. The outfit would sell for big bucks in my shop at home. Would I ever see Austin again? I wondered. Having a mother from Olympus was bound to complicate my life forever.

Her eyes gleamed. Of course she loved reading that in my mind. “Gloriana, cooperate and we can have a wonderful mother-daughter relationship.”

“Now you’re scaring me. What do I have to do to get Jerry cured, Mother? Spit it out.” I’d thrown in the “m” word to please her but I put my hands on my hips. I was through playing games.

“You have to give other men a chance to woo you, my dear. I want you to date some eligible males I’ll send from my home. I believe you have been, how you would say, settling.” She smiled and put her hand on my shoulder. “You can do so much better than a rough Highlander.”

“You want me to go on some blind dates?” I tried to shrug off the hand that suddenly gripped me hard. Impossible. “Seriously?”

“Yes, I am very serious. Give up this nonsense about staying on the earthly plane. You can find an acceptable mate and come live with me. There are fantastic opportunities for an intelligent woman with ambition on Olympus. If you are half the daughter I think you can become, we will rule there together before we are done. You can’t imagine the power we would wield.” Her smile this time was so fierce I shuddered.

“Mother, please, reconsider. I know how O-town works after dealing with the Storm God. It’s all about politics. Are you sure there’s not a spy listening right now? You don’t want to make Zeus mad at you. And talk of a takeover…”

“Hush. You’re right. I knew you were smart.” She stroked my hair and it was all I could do not to shudder. “Enough talk. I will begin sending you likely candidates for a mate immediately. You must promise to have an open mind. Give each of them a chance to court you. Choose one to be your consort and we will go from there.”

“And if none of them please me? I don’t see you hooked up with a daddy dearest, do I?” I sighed when she finally released me. The wall held me up but I was close to sliding down it, a heap on the wet bricks, my legs rubber at the thought of anyone from Olympus “courting” me.

“I’ve never met a soul mate, as you call your Jeremiah. I have made a formal alliance of course. But no love match. So
much of what we do in Olympus is for political purposes.” She stepped back, her forehead wrinkling.

“Sounds like a swell place.” I could almost feel sorry for her. Too bad she’d started our relationship so cruelly.

“All I’m asking is that you try, Gloriana. For the sake of my plan.” She wasn’t looking for sympathy, just my cooperation.

“And if I don’t click with any of these guys? Will you still fix Jerry’s memories?” I pushed away from the wall. Time to toughen up and negotiate. “No promises. But I
will
keep an open mind. Who knows? Maybe I’ll fall for one of your god-lings. But I need some guarantees from you before I start this date-a-thon.”

“You aren’t calling the shots here, Gloriana. I am.” She slung her leather bag over her shoulder. “Know this. If you play along, give the men a fair hearing, then I’ll consider your request to ‘fix’ your lover. I don’t offer guarantees. Sometimes these things aren’t as simple as they seem.”

“What do you mean? Isn’t your spell the only thing keeping Jerry from remembering me?” I stepped toward her but she began fading out. “Mother! What the hell?”

She examined her pearl pink fingernails. “All will be revealed in good time, Gloriana. Cooperate. That’s your best play here.”

“Send them on then. Let’s get this over with.” I looked her over. “Can you fix me up with an outfit like that? You ruined my blouse. What good is being a goddess if you can’t show off a trick or two?”

She smiled and waved her hand. “Certainly. Thought you’d never ask.”

BOOK: Real Vampires Know Hips Happen
8.88Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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