Authors: Melanie Walker
Thank you to my Beta Readers: Cheryl, Andrea, Jessika, Jennifer and Stacy. You guys are so patient and always there for me even when it’s to tell me something in the story needs to be changed.
Thank you to my bestie for always being the bestie. It’s unconditional with you Mandey, you’re just always there and unwavering.
Thank you to my sister Kimberly Birrell. You are the most loyal person I know Kimmy.
Thank you to my mom and dad for being rock stars and always supportive when I need help the last minute on a deadline.
Above all the people who support me, it is the readers who make this dream a possible life. I am nothing without your loyal support and patience. You guys really are phenomenal.
As in all my books I put as much effort into my dedication as I do in my story. The people who are there for me through the process and how they stand out. This last year has been one of the hardest years for me and I was fighting the fact I needed to change my life.
The changes I needed to make were personal and frightening, more so when you are forced to look at yourself with a magnifying glass.
Then I got the coolest gift. I met my friend Sean. From the instant we met he has been such a bright and positive influence on my life. Seany, this is your dedication.
Sean Christman you are my silver lining and you never let me fall too far. It seems that in your eyes I can’t get in my head too far before you come in and pull me out. I'm so blessed to call you my friend. Thank you for releasing me from the things that hold me back. I'll never find words to say how much your friendship means to me, but I'll never turn my back on you. Thank you for bringing out my best Tiger!
Book four TAT: A ROCKER ROMANCE
Release Me Song List
Sirens: Pearl Jam
Say It: Blue October
Red: Emme Cheayanne Calera
Just A Dream: Nelly
Say Goodbye: Theory of a Deadman
Alone: Alice in Chains
Yellow Flicker Beat: Lorde
Mr. Wrong: Mary J Blige Feat. Drake
This is how we do: Katy Perry
Simple Man: Lynyrd Skynyrd
Wish You Were Here: Pink Floyd
Make it Rain: Ed Sheeran
Wicked Games: The Weekend
Moon Baby: Godsmack
Coming Undone: Korn
The Next Contestant: Nickleback
Them Bones: Alice In Chains
Free Bird: Lynard Skynyrd
Who’ll Stop The Rain: Creedence Clearwater Revival
Crazy: Royal Bliss
Desire: Meg Myers
Bother: Stone Sour
Behind Blue Eyes: Limp Bizkit
And be a simple kind of man
Oh, be something you love and understand
Be a simple kind of man
Oh, won’t you do this for me, son, if you can.
I am lying in bed; thinking about all my mess up’s where Tayla Livingston is concerned when a phone call from my mother changed my life. To call it a shift in my general everyday life was an understatement. My world would implode.
Now, it is possible that anyone hearing me say that would think I was a dick and unworthy of the news my mom delivered, but those who know me, know that I am terrified by change. Change of massive proportions, well, picture me freaking the fuck out.
“Hey mom.” I say and continue scrolling through channels looking for anything worthy of my attention.
“Calvin Thomas Dorian.” She pauses after uttering my full name in a tone reserved for that specific ass ripping only your mother can give. Any man out there will confirm the fear that we all feel in that instant.
I sit up and click the TV off, knowing full well if I don’t give her my undivided attention just as I was raised to do I will only make it harder on myself. “What’s up mommy?” I say in my most obedient tone, adding mommy in hopes I soften her.
It didn’t though.
“Do not try and sweeten me up son. I have one question to ask you and I am not accepting an I don’t know, I don’t remember, or it’s not possible answer.”
“Ok mom. Whatever it is I can guarantee I didn’t do it on purpose.”
“Oh I know you didn’t.” She says with laughter that isn’t even close to funny. She is livid and completely floored by whatever it is I have done. My mind is racing a mile a minute thinking of every headline I have read about us lately and it is mainly news about what we have planned for the next album.
“What is it mom?” I ask and the concern in my voice is genuine. This little woman that I consider a saint is the most amazing important person in my life. I never want her upset and it is worsened because I have done something to upset her.
“Honey...” She says on a sigh and I picture her shaking her head. “Honey Jenny Pope just stopped by and I think it’s best you just come see me sweetie.”
“I’ll be there soon.” I say and don’t hesitate. I hop out of bed and throw on a shirt and some flip flops grabbing my keys and wallet and head out.
Now had I known what I was about to walk in on and the change my life had already taken I know I would have ran to gather my thoughts and not handle this the way I did initially. I say this because, I know I will be hated, but I also say it so that it is understood how I came back around to see the truth.
I get to my folks place about fifteen minutes from hanging up with my mom. I am terrified of what Jenny Pope might have said to my mom to get her worked up and spitfire mad. I’ve dealt with crazy fangirls in the past trying to get through security or a few would camp out at my house or bother the girls and Tay trying to get at me or one of the guys. My impression of this situation is that Jenny Pope has chosen my family to get to me and God only knows what she has started.
As I open the door to my childhood home I am not even remotely prepared for what I hear inside. “Come here sweet Axe. Come see your grandma.”
My mother’s sweet voice said those words and my entire world shifted. Grandma? Oh hell fucking no. “Mom?” I yell and follow her voice to the kitchen where a small little boy about Noelle’s size is trying to stand on his own.
My stomach is sitting at my feet as I watch this little guy try to stand, an unsure smile on his face and a glint of determination in his eyes, eyes that are no doubt a spitting image of mine. “What the fuck?” I say on a whisper and I am going to puke.
“Watch your mouth!” My dad barks from the corner of the room. He too shares the same eyes. We call them the Dorians as my gramps had em too. Dorians are a deep brown almost black with crazy long ass lashes that look like fucking spider’s legs. This little guy has Dorians, and my dad is looking at me and I know he is thinking the same thing I am. I have a son.
“Where the hell is Jenny?” I ask once my mom gets Axe, no shit that’s his name, settled in my old room for a nap.
“She got here son and was gone after her five minute explanation.” My mom says and I can see how this has completely emotionally drained her.
“And what was her explanation?” I ask and rub trembling hands over my face. I am angry, sad and freaked out.
My mom sighs and looks at me with sad eyes that are filling with tears. “She said that her lawyers will be in touch with you soon. I knew honey...” She says and looks down the hall as if looking for her long lost grandson. “The minute I saw him I knew and I wanted to strangle her. He hasn’t been well cared for Cal. He is two years old and he can barely talk and just now standing. He needs a Dr. and soon because he is severely malnourished and...” She pauses and I watch as tears fall. “His head honey...”
“I know.” I say and what I am referring to is that it is misshapen. I know enough about basic needs and I can tell that my son, my flesh and blood hasn’t had his met. I am livid and ready to snap. Even if this boy wasn’t my kid, and I am 90% sure he is, even if he wasn’t I would be hell bent on finding those responsible for neglecting him.
“We can get him in with Dr. Langley ASAP but legally I don’t know where to start. You need to call Tayla and see what we do first as far as legal. He will need diapers, in the right size mind you because that tart you knocked up has him in a size three and he needs a four. Poor baby has a rash from hell on his sweet behind.”
“I can get whatever he needs...” I say and my mind is spinning. I have no idea what all I need. My mind is racing towards cribs, some diapers and bottles… when it hits me. “We can’t let Tay know about this right yet mom.” I say and I feel my heart hammering. This gets to her before I have all the info I need and any shot of redemption and a chance to prove my worth will be gone.
“Why on earth would you not want Tayla involved here Calvin?” My mom asks and my dad’s eyes are on me and that man knows exactly why.
“Because I need a minute to process this mom and I don’t want business interfering just yet. I just want some time to process this.” I say and I am panicking for all the wrong reasons. She will never forgive me. The time frame of this little guy , calculating in the nine months that she was pregnant and the all too familiar memories of fucking Jenny Pope was all happening while I was dicking around with Tayla. This will all explode undoubtedly and I know it, but I need a fucking minute to process it.
“Calvin he needs a doctor!” My mom snaps and my dad places his hand on her shoulder to soothe her.
“Give me a minute with Cal babe.” My dad says and I know he will chew my ass, but thank God he follows guy code and waits for my mom to leave the room, keeping my secret a little longer.
You’re fucking around with Tayla aren’t you?” He asks and doesn’t wait for me to respond. “Does she care for you?”
I stand and start pacing, my hands rubbing up and down my face. “Yes, but its complicated dad.”
It’s easier to talk to him about this but not by much. Tay is loved by everyone and my family is no exception. I have always suspected my dad knew but he respected us enough to not confront me until now.
“And I am guessing this will be the end for you guys?” He says and I can hear the disappointment in his voice.
“I already fucked things up with her dad now this will just make redemption impossible.” I say and I have to sit back down because I may just pass out.
“Jesus Christ Cal.” He says and nothing else as he leaves the room. I know he is angry over the fact I was fucking around but also for hurting Tayla. I am not, nor have I ever been the type to shirk my responsibilities and they know that. They may be disappointed in my actions and worried for Axe as well as me but I believe they know that with him in the picture I will do whatever it takes to make that boy strong and happy.
I finally make my way into the kitchen where my dad is holding my weeping mother in his arms and I hate that this is how they meet their grandson. I hate that this is how I meet my first child. I want to rage at Jenny for so many things but the top of my list is the fact I didn’t know he existed. How he has been living up to now is my second concern and that bitch will never see him again if it is the last thing I do.
“I need your help because I do agree he needs a doctor and he needs one quickly. I am not involving Tay or the guys in this. I’ll call Shame but that’s it. Everyone else has too much shit on their plate. I am going to the lawyer’s office to get a referral for the best custody lawyer in Seattle.”
My mother wipes under her eyes and stands up straight. “We need to call social services Cal. We need temporary custody of him.”
She is right and within minutes she is on the phone with them. I leave to find the best attorney my money can buy and shoot Shame a text to meet me at Craig’s office because it is an emergency. Craig has handled TAT business since we agreed to go on the Sinners tour. He is local and was small business before coming on full time with TAT and he was a great find. I am hoping he knows his shit in family law too. ‘