Sammy (9 page)

Sean grins. Perhaps Christian was right. This production might be a chance to see what the other boys are like.

‘Let's do this,' Sean says and we go onstage.

The first act goes well. Being onstage with a huge audience is the most amazing buzz of my life. The music, the lights, the costumes, my feet, my body – everything comes together brilliantly. Even knowing there's an empty seat there can't spoil the moment for me. For one short period of time when I'm on that stage, everything is right.

At interval there's as much drama going on backstage as onstage. Tara's gown for Act Two is missing. The one that makes her feel special and has helped her dance superbly in dress rehearsals.

Christian and I are in the stars' dressing room with Tara and Abigail.

Ethan looks like he's going to kill Abigail. ‘What did you do with it?' he asks.

I tell him to back off. Even Abigail wouldn't sabotage Tara like that.

They're calling Act Two beginners to the stage. Tara is refusing to go on without her gown.

‘I can't. I've never made it through this act without the costume.' She takes a deep breath. ‘Abigail will have to go on.'

Ethan is about to lose it. ‘We can't have a different Clara halfway through.'

‘What do you need?' Christian asks her.

‘Kat.'

Kat's supposed to be looking after the costumes, but she's not here. She isn't even at the Opera House.

Christian calls her and puts her on speakerphone, while Ethan tells Abigail to start getting dressed.

‘I'll make a fool of myself,' Tara says softly into the phone.

‘Okay, for one, you're an expert at making a fool of yourself. No one does it better,' says Kat. ‘And two, it doesn't matter. What does is that you stop making excuses. I get that you're scared but you need to suck it up and do what it is you've been working for this whole year.'

‘Kat's right,' Abigail says. ‘And you're going to have to because I'm not.'

We all look at Abigail, stunned.

‘You're better at this than me,' she says. ‘With or without the costume. And the audience will see it.'

I never thought I'd see Abigail do the selfless act. I know more than anyone what it must take for her to say those words.

As Tara goes on I'm standing side stage with Abigail. Tara's dancing alone, filling not just the stage but the huge auditorium of the Sydney Opera House. Every pair of eyes in there is entranced by her. It is so inspiring.

As I watch her, it's like she disperses the fog in my mind. All the confusion, mixed feelings, worries about what I am or what I'm not vanishes and there is one thing left that I know with absolute certainty. There is no way I'm letting this go. I'm staying at the Academy, even if I have to get six jobs to do it.

I have a plan. It's mine and no one is going to change it.