Save Me: a Stepbrother Romance (29 page)

I squinted through the darkness.  At first, it looked only like another large bush of flowers and ivy.  But underneath, I could make out the decomposing bones of some abandoned building. 

Charred wood and decayed planks rotted underneath the climbing plants, and I could make out the dull shine of a bronze doorknob under a thick clump of honeysuckle.  Shards of broken window glass glittered with dew and moonlight as they littered in front of the old structure.  Even though it was old enough to have been reclaimed by the forest and consumed by weeds, I could still smell the fresh sting of sweet mold and ash that wafted from the old wood.

“It was my home as a kid,” Cal murmured. 

“It burned down?”

“When I was eight.  Mom died.”

“Oh.”  I glanced down at the oddly random clearing we had stumbled into.  So this would have been Cal’s childhood backyard.  “I … I never knew how your mom passed away.  I guess I assumed…”

“That Dad did it?”  He nodded sharply.  “I don’t blame you.  Even at school, people talk about….” 

He trailed off.

Of course.  Everyone in this town had heard the rumors about Lily Gatlin being beaten to death.  I guess the reality was less glamorous.  Though I had always heard that it was Cal who had done it, and I realized he must have heard that too.  The thought made blood rush to my ears and my fists clench.

Worse, I wanted to collapse in on myself as I remembered what I had snapped at him so long ago, back when I bought into the rumors.  The memory of standing in my doorway and hating him fiercely rushed back to me, making me sick.

I want to spend time with my little sister, Sis.

Why?
I had answered.
  So you can beat me to death like you beat your mom?

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“She couldn’t get out in time.  Dad had dragged me out already, but she didn’t know that.  She went back in looking for me.  The firemen pulled her out after an hour or two.  They wouldn’t let me see her.”  The lump in his throat was wavering.  “The smell of burnt hair still makes me sick.”

“I’m so sorry, Cal.”

Crickets and cicadas chirped around us as we stood in silence.  The dew had begun soaking my cast.

“I’m sorry for taking you here, Nat,” he choked.  “I know this isn’t the way you want to spend your graduation night.”

“Cal, it’s okay.”

“But I needed you to see.  I needed you to know….”  His voice was strained.  “I need you to see that this is what I am.  People are right about me.  I’m fucked up, Nat.  I’m the son of an abusive man and a dead woman.  I only barely graduated tonight, and that’s mostly because they don’t want to put up with me anymore.  And now that Dad’s left me, this is all I have.  A burned down house, and no money, and enough baggage for a Delta airline flight.  This is what I am.”

“I don’t care about what you are.  I care about
who
you are.”

“Nat,” he groaned.  “I don’t need your mom’s cutesy little proverbs.  You need to really look at me.”

“I am looking, Cal.  And I love you.”

His eyelids slid shut.  “Nat.  You’re not listening.”

“I don’t care, Cal.  Not about the dad, not about the mommy issues, not about the rumors.  So other people don’t like you.  So fuck them.  I know the real you.  And I love him.”

“It’s not just rumors.  I do have issues.  And you know that, Nat.  You saw the way I acted when I got my hands on—”  His voice cut off.  He couldn’t even say his name.  He groaned out a strangled sigh.  “I hated you seeing me like that.  And I hated seeing it myself.  I don’t want you to have to worry that that’s what I’m going to turn into.  Girls like you don’t deserve guys like me.  You deserve better.”

“You’re not your father, Cal,” I murmured.

“But what if I am, Nat?”  His head dropped to his hands, and raw pain laced his groaning voice.  “What if he’s always been there inside me, waiting for the chance to come out?  What if that’s who I am—a man who beats unconscious people in a parking lot?  I would have killed him, Nat.  You saw me.”

“He would have killed both of us.”

“That doesn’t make it okay.”

“You never hurt me.”

“But what about everyone else?  I’ve hurt so many people, Nat.  You don’t need to hit someone to hurt them.  You don’t need to beat someone to destroy them.  Dad showed me that.”

“Cal, listen to me.” 

I took his face into my hands.  His eyes were still sealed closed in pain, but I ran my thumb along the thick eyelashes, and they fluttered open.  His eyes searched mine, desperate. 

“I see you, Cal.  The real you.  Just like you’ve seen the real me.  I know you’re fucked up.  I’m fucked up too.” 

My face nuzzled into his neck, and his arms wrapped around me again.  His fingers dug into my side, crushing me to him. 

“But maybe we can be fucked up together.  Maybe we can save each other.  Maybe it doesn’t matter that we’re fucked up because we’ve found somebody who can fix us.  Maybe that’s what love is.”

“Life isn’t a fairy tale, Nat.”

“I didn’t say it was one.”  I glanced up at him, and he pressed his warm lips to my forehead.  “But maybe we can make our own.”

His face nuzzled my hair, and I sighed contentedly. 

“You deserve a happily ever after, Callum Gatlin.”

“So do you,” he murmured.

“Good.  It’s agreed, then,” I said, straightening up.  My cast was damp with dew, and my fingers reached down to adjust it.  “We can find a gingerbread house and a couple of German kids to cannibalize, and we’ll be good to go.” 

“Natalie?”

“Hm?”

“Kiss me.”

I turned around to see him.  His eyes smoldered under his hooded lids, burning into me.  My heart jumped into my throat. 

Oh, Jesus.  I loved it when he looked at me like that. 

My heart throbbed in my chest as I pressed my lips to his once more.  His tongue slipped between them hungrily.  This wasn’t one of the lingering, sweet kisses he gave me.  This one was urgent.  He needed me. 

His fingers carressed my jaw as we kissed, the other hand cupping the curve of my breast.  I leaned into him, allowing my body to find its natural place against his as he laid us down on the soft grass.  God, he smelled good.

“You taste amazing,” he breathed.

“You smell nice.”

He furrowed his brow, studying me with a puzzled look.  A deep chuckle rumbled through his chest.

“You have some strange ideas about sweet talk, Nat.”  He brushed a strand of hair out of my face, tracing my cheekbone with his thumb.  “But I’ve got to be honest.  I kind of like it.”

“I aim to please.”

He kissed my forehead.  “Would you like to just lay here and do a little stargazing?  Or do a little more?”  His fingers crept between my legs and massaged my inner thigh. 

“More, please,” I breathed.

His lips pressed against mine, his tongue caressing its way into my mouth again.  The weight of his body pushed mine onto the bed of moss beneath us.  I ripped the t-shirt off over his head and dug my nails into the bare flesh his back.  He hissed in pleasure. 

The memory of his scratches at prom and Jess’s smirking about our midnight getaway came back to me.  A laugh bubbled up out of my chest.

“Honestly, Nat.  I’m not that bad at fucking you that you have to start laughing before we even get started.”

“No, it’s not that.”

“Then what?”

“I love you.”

He rolled his eyes.  “Glad you think loving me is so funny.”

“No.  I mean….”  I bit his lower lip softly.  A delicious groan passed his lips.  “I really love you.  A lot.”

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” he asked breathlessly.

“Yes.”

“Then don’t you dare fucking stop,” he whispered.

The thin sweatshirt I had been wearing was peeled up and over my head, leaving me breathless on the ground with nothing between my naked chest and Cal’s hungry gaze.  His mouth dove forward, latching onto my right breast.  Whimpers escaped my lips as his tongue ran along my nipple, and he sucked hard on my bare flesh. 

“Cal,” I moaned, threading my fingers through his hair.

“Don’t stop,” he growled, moving to the other breast.  “Don’t you ever fucking stop saying my name, Nat.”

His fingers fumbled with the zipper of my jeans as his tongue worked over my nipple, tasting every inch of my skin.  He yanked my jeans down, and his rough palms cupped my ass.  His tongue trailed down my stomach, stopping to dip in my navel before continuing down.  His thumbs dug into the soft flesh of my thighs as he spread them.

“Fuck, Natalie.  Do you have any idea how gorgeous your pussy is?”

“Please,” I begged.

His teeth nipped my thigh.  His tongue crept between my legs, and it flicked over my clit teasingly.  My back arched.

“Cal!”

“Jesus, Nat.  I will never get used to how good this is.  How good
you
are.”

I wanted to respond, but the fingers that had slipped inside me were too distracting.  They shook as they stroked me from the inside, teasing my walls with a come hither motion.  He was trying to go slow for me.  But he needed me.  He needed me almost as fiercely as I needed him.

His tongue slipped against my folds, and I grabbed at the moss beside us, desperate to hold onto something as he turned my world upside down.  The flat of his tongue ran along my clit.  He sucked hard on it, drawing out the shudders from my spine.

“Cal,” I moaned.  His tongue lapped against me mercilessly as his strong hands held my thighs open for him.  My hips grinded against his face, desperate for release.  “I need you.”

He buried his face between my legs.  The stubble on his face scraped against my soft inner thigh as his tongue worked against my clit.  Deep groans escaped his lips and vibrated against me, driving me closer to the edge.

“Fuck, I need you,” he growled, pulling back.  His hands reached for his zipper.  His cock throbbed in his hand as he pulled it out, swollen and desperate for me.  His lips fell on mine again as his cock pressed against my entrance.

“Soft and slow?  Or hard and fast?” he panted.

“Hard.”

His hips slammed into me.

The feral sounds of his growls and my desperate panting drowned out the crickets and cicadas around us.  His hips pounded me into the ground over and over again, no longer holding back.  My mouth pressed against his throat, kissing it hard until I could feel the throb of his pulse beating against my lips.  His fingers clutched my hips so hard that they left small red marks in the pale flesh.

“Fuck, Nat….  So fucking good….”

“Don’t stop!”

His palms cupped my ass again and lifted it, and the next thrust buried him deeper in me than he had ever been before.  My hair fanned out behind me as my head tossed back in ecstasy.  Deeper and deeper, he pushed himself inside me.  He was hitting a new spot now, something sweet and deep inside that drove me so close to the edge that I would fall at any moment.