Saving the Beast (2 page)

“Murphy!” Abby admonished.

“Jesus!” Tah grunted. “We’re not monsters. We can’t just break bones to get answers.”

“Didn’t work anyway,” Murphy said. “Man’s got his lips sealed tighter than a vault. He’s not saying a word.”

“No more torture,” Tah admonished.

“If you say so,” Murphy agreed with a jerk of his head.

Tah paced from one end of the room to the other and silence descended over them. Once more, Diane’s mind returned to thoughts of Zane. She missed seeing him. Lately, he’d been coming around more often. She remembered when he’d arrived with a seriously wounded Finn. She should have rushed out to Finn, but instead, she’d gone straight to Zane. She’d touched his face, looked in his golden eyes and let her hands move over his broad chest, assuring herself he was okay. For a moment, she swore she saw promise in his gaze.

She’d known then there was something about him she’d never be able to deny again. That one touch had sent a bolt of…something…through her. Something that set her blood on fire with a need for more from him. She wanted his kiss, his touch, wanted to feel him skin to skin. Her body ached deep inside with the need to feel him there. But was it because she was his mate? She wished for the millionth time that she had more experience with men, with sex, and relationships in general, but she didn’t.

Diane had been the nerd in high school. The youngest in her class, who preferred to have her nose buried in a book instead of cheering on the team at homecoming. Books were her only real friends, whether it was the ones she studied to reach her goals or the ones she immersed herself in to forget the taunts of bullies. She blamed that start in life for the fact that she was still technically a virgin, as she assumed toys didn’t count. Well, that and the demands of her previous job. She’d had opportunity and had even contemplated doing the deed a time or two, but something had always held her back. It seemed part of her wanted the romance story hero, the strong alpha who would sweep her off her feet and claim her before she could even think to say no.

She almost laughed at that. Perhaps she should have been more careful with what she’d wished for. She had a feeling if Zane decided she was his mate, he’d do just that. Her heartbeat sped up, and her breasts swelled, the nipples hardening with desire. She wanted his hands on her, his tongue and teeth ravishing her. She wanted him, all six and half feet of the man she considered an ebony god. He was beautiful, stunning, and his light-gold eyes took her breath away when he locked his gaze on her.

Would he be a demanding lover? A considerate one? Would he take it slow and easy when she confessed he would be her first? Thinking of that, the knowledge he would be the first man to join with her, to thrust a piece of himself inside her… Those thoughts did things to her, things that left her thighs damp and her womb clenching with a need no vibrator could relieve. She wanted Zane, and only him. She craved him with a carnality no virgin should feel. She desired him in a way that scared her deep in her soul and left her drowning in uncertainty.

Why had he avoided her at first? She’d planned to find out. She’d hoped to spend more time with Zane, getting to know him and seeing if this was more than just a touch of lust for such a sexy man. She loved her fairness next to his dark, her curves next to his brawn. He made her feel dainty and feminine due to his sheer masculinity and size.

“Diane!” the Professor yelled, interrupting her wayward thoughts that always seemed to be on Zane lately.

“What?” she snapped, beyond caring about the flash of temper she revealed.

“Where is your head at today?” the Professor demanded. “We were discussing possible other options for Lydia. I asked your opinion.”

“How the hell should I know?” she answered louder than she’d intended. “You all seem to have forgotten I’m not an M.D. I have a Ph.D. in Biology. I specialized in zoology, specifically large cats. I’m known internationally as an expert on lions. Lions, not people.” She gave a short bark of laughter and shook her head. “Now I’m operating on humans. Pulling bullets out, closing wounds, digging out foreign objects. I’m taking blood and running test after test after test, searching for God only knows what. I’m so far out of my element, it’s not even funny anymore. You want my opinion on other options for saving Lydia? I don’t know. I just don’t know.” She took a deep breath. Even she could hear the hysteria edging into her voice. Jesus, this was not the time or place for her to lose it. She glanced up warily.

Stunned silence descended over the room as they all stared at her. Diane sighed wearily and wiped tears off her cheeks she hadn’t realized she shed. She took a deep breath and did her best to regain control over her emotions. “I’m sorry. That outburst was uncalled for. You asked a simple question. I don’t know of any other options for Lydia right now. I’ll keep researching and looking. In the meantime, I’ll do all I can to keep her as comfortable as possible.”

“Diane?” Abby held her hand out and made a move as if to walk toward Diane.

Diane took a step back and held out her hands in front of her, stopping Abby before the other woman could cross to her. “I’m not feeling well. I should have excused myself earlier. I’m sure the Professor can handle any other questions you have. I’m going to head back to the lab.” She looked at Tah and almost cringed at the stark concern on his face. “I apologize. I’m fine. Really. I’ll see you all later.”

She didn’t wait for anything else to be said. She turned and headed into the hall and back toward her lab and everything that was waiting for her. She wanted the peace, the quiet, but instead found Orsai, sitting as if he’d known she’d be coming down to join him.

“You’ve been crying,” he stated softly.

She wiped her cheeks again and crossed to the computer she kept her notes on, typing in her password to unlock it.

“I’m fine,” she whispered, emotion still clogging her throat. “May I help you with something?”

“There are many questions I have, but one stands out greater in importance than any other.”

Diane glanced up when Orsai didn’t elaborate further.

“Okay.” She should probably ask what the main question was, but God help her, she really didn’t need any more on her plate right now.

“Are you my nephew’s mate, Dr. Renway?”

“I…I… What?” She couldn’t engage her mouth to form coherent sentences, which was fine since her brain wasn’t coming up with any to say.

Orsai just stared at her, as if he could peer deep inside her and find the answer there. If he did, she hoped he’d share them with her.

“Call me Diane. Everyone does,” Diane finally said. “Zane avoided me for the most part. I’ve seen how mating works with Tah and Abby, Reno and Amia, and most recently Logan and Clara. Zane doesn’t have that type of…reaction around me.”

“Ahhh,” Orsai said with a smile. “Is that what you think?”

“It’s what I know,” Diane countered, getting angry and having no idea why. That wasn’t true. She knew exactly why it made her angry. Because, damn it, she wanted to be Zane’s mate. She wanted to have the type of relationship she was witnessing among the three, mated couples, and she wanted it with Zane.

“All you know are the actions of two shifters who are only learning who and what they are. You know the passion of a shifter who found herself captured and pursued by a mate unwilling to let her hold back. You do not know the mindset of a confident shifter fully integrated with his animal spirit—one who has always known who and what he is.”

“You think Clara didn’t have a choice? She doesn’t really come across as the easily tamed type,” Diane countered.

Orsai grinned. “I’ve know little Clara since she was a child. I knew her father and her mother before they left this world. I consider her Uncle Thomas a dear friend. It brings joy to my heart to see Clara so in love and happy with her mate. It will bring me much more to see my nephew bonded with his mate.”

Diane nodded, unsure of what to say. Really, there was nothing she could say. Zane’s mate was one more thing to add to her list of things she didn’t know.

“A fully integrated male shifter is taught to protect, to accept the animal instinct that has him placing himself in front of others in times of immediate danger,” Orsai said.

She flashed back to Reno shifting into a tiger and the way Zane had stepped in front of her. Had it just been instinct? Was she no more to him than anyone else was? Is that what Orsai was trying to tell her? She glanced at Orsai, who was watching her with that piercing gaze, making her feel as if he knew so much more than he spoke of. Could he tell how much she craved to be Zane’s mate? The thought had her cheeks flushing from embarrassment.

“Do you understand exactly what it means to claim a mate?” Orsai questioned softly.

“What do you mean?”

“Have you really talked to Abby, Amia or Clara about the emotional aspect, the physical ties that exist and bind mates?”

“I…” She shook her head. “I can see the bond they share. We all can.”

“Ahh, but until you have felt such a bond, you can’t truly know. A male such as Zane understands that to claim you is to bind you to his side forever, in this life and any other. Your very thoughts become his, as his do yours. You will feel him inside, here.” He touched his heart. “Even when he is not beside you. You will crave him like nothing you’ve ever known, and once he tastes you, once his teeth mark the pale skin of your shoulder, there will be no going back for either of you. He knows exactly what it will cost you to become his mate. That is why he would choose to protect that woman further by protecting her from himself.” His eyes, so eerily similar to Zane’s, met hers. “Until he absolutely couldn’t.”

Diane slowly let out the breath she hadn’t realize she’d been holding. “Do you think I’m Zane’s mate?”

“I can only pray you are,” Orsai informed her. “Because without a mate to call him back, I’m afraid we’ll lose him forever to the animal inside.”

“What does that mean?” she demanded.

“It means Zane will be gone. Forever.” With those cryptic words, Orsai left Diane alone.

She’d already realized Zane could be lost to them. It was all she could think about. Did that mean Orsai believed she was or just wished that she was but knew she wasn’t? Diane was ready to scream with frustration.

“Zane.” She moaned his name out loud. “Where are you? Please be okay.” She blinked back tears then whispered softly the question that plagued her most. “Am I your mate?”

* * * *

The panther hissed then let out a loud growl. It was aggravated and getting angrier by the day. Fire burned in its veins—an unquenchable fire calling for him to explore farther away, to stalk and kill. But the man inside him was still fighting, using all his strength to keep his beast from straying farther. The man was focused on the image of a blonde woman, and the beast knew what his other half was trying to convey. But if the woman was truly their mate, then she should be there with them. He prowled the edge again, peering into the night, watching and waiting. Waiting for the arrival of the woman or the weakening of the man.

Chapter Two

Zane…gone forever…

She absently sorted the empty vials on the counter. No matter how hard she tried to concentrate on other things, Orsai’s departing words echoed in her mind and stabbed at her heart. She had no idea if she was Zane’s mate, but she did know she didn’t want to imagine a world where he no longer existed. She hadn’t realized just how often she’d searched for him around the cabin until he was no longer there. And it hurt. The loss of him was like a physical pain, and it scared her.

“Diane!”

The Professor yelled, startling her. She jumped and knocked several vials over, barely catching them before they hit the floor.

“What the hell is wrong with you? What’s going on inside that head of yours because you’re sure as hell not paying attention?” he continued.

“Fuck!” she exploded, fisting her shaking hands at her sides as she turned and faced the Professor’s wide eyes. “Why the hell would you sneak up on me?”

He shook his head and met her gaze with an expression that looked weary and tired. “I didn’t sneak. I practically stomped, I’m so angry. And I began chastising you as soon as I hit the door and saw you over here. You’re so wrapped up in whatever is going on in your head, you didn’t hear me.”

“What were you chastising me about?” she demanded.

“You know exactly what I’m upset about. There are certain things we need to know. Tah may not like my…avenues of finding answers. Which is why we decided not to say anything until we have them.”

“You decided,” she countered.

“Diane,” he warned.

She knew the stress he was under, could see the strain of it on his face, and her anger eased a bit. “There’s nothing to report until there’s something to report,” she uttered with a sigh.

“That’s right. You need to get your head together.” He walked closer to her, and she could see concern for her reflected in his gaze. “What’s going on? You’re not yourself lately.”

“I’m not sure I can do this anymore,” Diane whispered honestly. Doubt. There was so much doubt and uncertainty eating away inside her. “When you came to me with this mad idea of needing my help on a special project dealing with a unique breed of cats, I was intrigued. When you admitted exactly what it was, humans with cat spirits inside them, shape shifters… Well, I figured you were completely crazy.”

“You came,” he reminded her.

She nodded. “I did. I liked you and wanted to help if I could. I was also exhausted. The constant traveling, dealing with cats so near the brink of death from illegal hunting. It drained me. I was ready to walk away from it all when you came to me with your offer. A permanent place to call home. Working with a species in desperate need of saving.”

“You have exactly what I promised you. This is home for all of us,” he assured her. “And this pride needs you more than anywhere you’ve ever been. I need you.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing any more,” she wailed, tears sliding down her face. “I’m terrified. Soon, I’m going to need to deliver a baby, and I’d be lying if I said that doesn’t scare the living hell out of me. What if something goes wrong and Abby or the baby need care we can’t provide? I’m so afraid my ineptitude is going to get someone killed.” She was almost sobbing now. “Everyone wants me to take care of Abby. Hell, if it weren’t for the information Clara gave us, Abby and her baby might be gone, now.”