Scarred (6 page)

“You start,
” I smiled, as Luke laughed. I always made him start the ten things game because I always felt so self-conscious.

“One—
I love the way you support me moving to Boston, even though you want me to stay.”

“Two—
I love the fact that this is a hard decision for you because you appreciate my friendship so much.” I smiled at him, gently, as he looked at me in surprise. Luke thought I didn’t realize that I was the main consideration holding him back from going, but I did. I knew it was selfish to hold our friendship over him like that, but I just didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t want to lose him.

“Three—
I love the specks of green in your warm, brown eyes.”

“Four—
I love that you are growing a goatee, even though it looks ridiculous on you.”

“
Lexi,” he laughed and I reached over and played with the hair on his chin. “You have to admit that it’s pitiful, Luke,” I laughed.

“Five—
I love that you are honest to a T.” He grinned at me.

“Six—
I love that anytime I need you, you are there for me.”

“Seven—
I love that you are going to help me train Bongo.”

“Oh
, no way.” I poked him in the chest.

“Please.”

“We’ll see,” I sighed, melodramatically. “Eight—I love that you adopted a dog, when you are not even a dog person.”

“Ni
ne—I love that you know I’m not a dog person. I thought I hid it well.”

“Just d
on’t tell Anna, she’ll kill you,” I grinned. “Ten—I love that you are my best friend in the world and we can play the ten things game in your bed and still have sleepovers and it’s not awkward.” I stared at him seriously, then.

My
words were so true. No one understood our friendship, not even Anna. She didn’t understand how we could have sleepovers that didn’t lead to sex or making out. Even Luke’s parents were skeptical at first. They thought it was weird that we shared the bed so often without dating. No one really understood our friendship, but it didn’t matter to either of us.

“Come here
, you.” Luke pulled me into his arms and I went willingly. My body was exhausted. It had been a really long, emotional and exhausting day.

I pressed my head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat. I closed my arms and imagined that it was Bryce holding me closely. I smelled and imagined that Luke’s sweet smell was actually Bryce’s musky oak.
I wanted so very badly to be held by Bryce. I wanted him to be my lover. I wanted him to be my first. So very badly. He had looked sad when I’d seen him earlier. He didn’t look like the same confident boy he had been at Jonesville High; he looked like a tired and weary man. I wanted to kiss away the pain and stress from his face. I sighed and snuggled closer to Luke.

“Hey you.” Luke pulled away slightly. “No falling asleep. We have to see what happens to
Madea.”

“Uh huh.” I yawned and laughed. “Why has
Madea become the bane of my life?”

“Because you’re my best friend?” Luke laughed and pulled on my ponytail and I jumped out of bed.

“Okay, I’m changing for bed. No need to pause the movie.” I grinned as I ran out of the room to go change in the bathroom and brush my teeth. I loved Luke and our friendship, I thought, as I slipped on my tee shirt and shorts, but I sure wished I was trying on something sexy and getting ready for a night with Bryce Evans. One that wouldn’t involve a TV screen at all.

Chapter 6

Not many people visited Jonesville Library and for that I was grateful. I’d been
standing outside for the last thirty minutes and hadn’t seen one person I knew. I’m sure there would have been lots of awkward questions and I’m glad I didn’t have to answer them. I was still trying to work up the courage to go in and talk to Lexi Lord. I didn’t even know if she was working there today; I may have been wasting my time. But I still felt nervous and uneasy.

This wasn’t going to be as effortless as I thought.

As the town hall clock chimed midday, I knew that that was my sign. I had to go in. I couldn’t just stand around waiting to build up the courage. I knew that that wouldn’t be coming any time soon. I walked into the library and was surprised at how spacious and bright it was. I had always imagined libraries to be small and dingy. I had to admit that I hadn’t spent much time in one in school.

I looked around and walked up to the front d
esk, hoping to see Lexi there, maybe with some friends. That way I could invite them all at the same time and they wouldn’t think I was there to just ask Lexi.

“Hi.” I walked up to the women at the front and beamed. They all returned my smile with blushes and the oldest lady patted her cheeks.

“Why, how can we help you, young man?” She looked like she could have been my granny and her nametag read Nelly. I looked quickly at the other girls’ faces and held in a sigh. None of them were Lexi.

“I’m just here to check out the library
, mam.”

“Do you have a library card?”

“No, mam.” It was my turn to blush. In all my years living in Jonesville, I’d never gotten a library card.

“Well
, we can sign you up and then you can get a tour.”

“Oh
, I don’t need a tour.”

“Who’s doing the tours today
, Nina?”

“
Lexi is, Nelly.”

“
Lexi can give you a tour after you sign up.” Nelly smiled at me and took my drivers license. “Oh you’re Mayor Evans’s son?” Her smile grew even wider, if that was possible, and I felt sad. Here was another constituent who had been fooled my dad.

“Yes
, mam.”

“Well then, maybe I’ll give you the tour
, Mr. Evans.”

“You can call me Bryce
, mam, and Lexi is fine.” I kept my voice even, but I felt a bit panicked. I needed for Lexi to give me the tour.

“Well okay then
, Mr. Evans.” Nelly looked a bit flustered at my request and I took a deep breath.

“Only because I
kind of know Lexi from High School. It will be nice to catch up while she shows me around.”

“Oh
, okay.” She smiled again. “Well that makes sense. Nina go and get Lexi.”

“Yes
, Nelly.” Nina stood up and smiled at me and walked away. I released my breath and filled out the form that Nelly put in front of me.

“You can borrow up to ten
books at a time, Mr. Evans, and only three new releases. You can borrow three DVDs at a time and two CDs. If we don’t have a title in stock, you can put your name on the request list and we will email you when it is available.”

“Oh
, okay. Thanks.”

“You can start borrowing books today. Just come back up with the books that you choose.”

“Aw, okay.” I hadn’t planned on borrowing any books, but I figured I better borrow something now, or it would look too suspicious.

“
Lexi will show you around and then you can choose, okay?”

“Uh
, yes, mam.” I smiled at her, weakly, and breathed a sigh of relief as Nina walked back with Lexi by her side. Lexi looked at me in confusion with big, wide eyes; I’d never noticed how big they were before. Or how warm.

“Hi
, Lexi.” I smiled and she smiled back a big, wide smile.

“Hi
, Bryce. It’s good to see you.” She stood there, awkwardly, for a second and I realized she was debating over whether she should give me a hug or not. I reached my hand out to her and we shook hands instead.

“Thanks. I wasn’t sure
if you would remember who I was,” I laughed and we walked away from the desk and prying eyes.

“Of course I remember you.” She looked at me in surprise. “To be honest, I wasn’t sure if you knew who I was.”

“Oh, I’d never forget you.” I smiled at her and immediately wanted to slap myself for the words that I had uttered. How completely and utterly awkward. I wasn’t sure if she had heard what I had said, because she didn’t answer me for a few minutes.

“So how was it being a marine?” She looked at me curiously as we came to a large computer room and I studied her open and interested face.

“Hard,” I answered, honestly, surprised that I was answering honestly. I guess I was taken aback that she had even asked me the question. She was the first person, since I’d been back, to ask me what it had been like. It was like everyone else was just willing to forget that blip in my life, like being a Marine for four years was no big deal and I could forget it as easily as they could.

“I bet.” She pointed into the room. “This is our internet room. Anyone can use it. You sign up for an hour at a time. If someone else wants to use it
, you have to get up.”

I laughed as she spoke and looked into the room
, curiously. So this is where Miss had written her letters to me. “What’s so funny?” Lexi looked at me in confusion.

“Oh
, nothing.” I shrugged my shoulders. “I just had a friend who used this computer lab a lot.”

“Oh
, okay.” She looked like she wanted to ask me a question, but she didn’t, which I was grateful for. I didn’t want to share Miss with anyone, not until I knew who she was and what had happened.

“So what’s in that room?” I pointed to another door.

“That’s a study room.” She opened it and we looked inside and saw a table with some chairs. “We have six different study rooms that high school and college students can reserve to work on projects.”

“Oh, that’s cool.”

“Did you never use them in High School?” She cocked her head and looked at me quizzically and I laughed.

“No.”

“Oh, wow.” She seemed surprised and I knew why. She was wondering how I had gotten through high school with a 4.1 GPA and never been a member of the library.

“So this is the fiction section
, huh?” I looked at the rows of books and smiled.

“Yeah. We have a large collection of books.”

“What are you doing on Saturday, Lexi?” The words burst out of my mouth quickly, like lava flowing from an active volcano. I couldn’t stop myself and I looked to see her reaction.

“Saturday?” She had a faint blush around her face and I could tell that she felt uncomfortable. Her face looked frazzled and her long hair was now in her face, as if she were trying to hide behind it.

“Yeah, well my dad is having a party for me, to welcome me back to town and I thought you’d like to come. You and some friends, of course,” I finished, lamely.

“But you don’t even know me or my friends.” Her words trailed away and she looked at me
, embarrassed.

“I know,
” I sighed. “I just thought that maybe you’d like to come.” I paused and grabbed a book from the shelf. “Now that I’ve got the book I wanted to read I figured I’d be going, but if you want to come hang at the party, you are more than welcome.”

“Thanks.” She looked at me in surprise again
, but this time she had a huge grin on her face. I was surprised at how pretty she looked when she smiled. She was prettier than I remembered.

“So you’ll come?
”

“Yeah. It sounds like fun.” She pushed her hair back behind her ears and I studied her face
, thoughtfully. If she looked anything like her mother, then I understood my father’s attraction.

“Good.” I turned away
, annoyed that I had thought of my father again. “What’s so funny?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking as she looked like she was going to burst into tears.

“I was just admiring your book choice.” She pointed to my hands and I looked down and saw ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’. I felt my face go red and I squared my shoulders.

“Well, you know. I’m just trying to see what women like in the bedroom now. I have to keep up,” I grinned, as she bent her head, flustered, and walked up to the front desk to check out with a huge grin on my face. She hadn’t expected that answer from me, I was sure. But one thing that I wasn’t was a prude. I was a virile man and if Fifty Shades could teach me a trick or two about pleasing a woman I was going to read it. I checked out and walked to the front of the library with a new confidence. One bird down, one more to go I thought. Now I just needed to find out who Miss was. I was afraid that that was going to be a much harder task than asking Lexi Lord to my party.

***

I argued with the lady at the post office for about fifteen minutes before she finally got frustrated with me and asked me to step aside.

“S
ir, I cannot give you personal information.”

“I don’t want their
home address,” I sighed. “Just a name. Please.”

“Sir, I am going to have to ask you to leave now.”

“Please.”

“Sir.”

“Fine.” I scowled at her and walked out. If it had been the me of a few years ago, I would have tried to have pulled rank and asked her if she knew who I was. Who my father was. Once people knew my dad was Mayor, I commanded a lot more respect—but I wasn’t going to do that anymore. He didn’t deserve that automatic respect and neither did I. I was going to have to think of another way, even if it meant waiting outside the post office and hanging out by the mailboxes until someone finally came to her mailbox. I was going to find out one way or another. I just had to.