Second Chance (8 page)

I roll the leathery ball in my fingers until I like where the laces line up
.
You’re mine.

I
win
d up and throw a
curve ball a little outside the plate and
forget to make it a slider
.
T
he batter swings and
cracks the bat against the ball
.
I wince and follow
its
path
in the sky,
deep into center field
where it hits the wall
and bounces to the ground
.
He
makes it to
second
base
.
Two more runners make it home
.
Coach pulls me from the game and
a freshman pitcher relieves me, clos
ing
off our
loss
.
Most of the f
ans leave before the game comes to an embarrassing end
.

***

Back in
the
clubhouse, C
oach calls me into
a side office
.
Miles is sitting in there with him
so either he
ratted me out or he’s trying to throw me a life
-
line
.
Miles has a lot of respect on the team, and Coach looks to him to be a leader
.
I sit down and pull my baseball cap as low over my head as it will go
.
I press
the tips of
my fingers together and wait
.
There’s a quiet few seconds wh
ile
C
oach studies me
.
He rolls a pencil back and forth
on his desk
.

“
I
’m having some doubts about your dedication to
this team, Gray,
”
he
says
.
“
But Miles is trying to convince me I’m wrong
about that
.
”

I glance at Miles, but his eyes are on the floor
.
Coach is
silent
again, just t
o terrify me
.
And it’s working. I realize I might have just played my last college baseball game
.

“
Listen,
” he says, “
I
know you’re dealing with something the rest of these
guys haven’t been through
.
But
I’m not making
excuse
s for you
.
So
, here’s my question
.
Is getting high
before a baseball game
a
one time
mistake
, or is
this becoming a problem
?
”

I take a deep
breath and try to find my voice
.
Why is it that until you c
ome close
to losing something, you don’t understand
how much you want it
?
Need it
?

I look back at
C
oach
.
“It won’t happen again
.
I swear my life on it.”

“
Everyone’s entitled to one mistake
,
”
he says
.
“
One.
”

“
That’s all it was,
”
I sa
y
quietly
.

C
oach sits back in his chair
.
“
Do you need to talk to anybody about this
?
A psychologist
?
”
 

“
No,
”
I say
.
I tell him
I’
ve been seeing
a counselor
with my parents
back in Phoenix
.

He sits up straighter in his seat
.
“
That was
Phoenix
.
Maybe you should see somebody here.
”

I shake my head
.
“
I’m doing better
,
C
oach
.
Today was
a mistake
.
”

He
eyes me skeptically
.
“
I’m giving you a
two
game suspension
.
Then y
ou’re on probation the rest of the season.
” 
I nod
quickly
and
tell him that’s fair
.
“
I don’t think you
see the severity of this, Gray,” he warns me
.
“
It could
make the newspapers
.
I’ll have to explain why my star pitcher
isn’t suited up
.
Something like this can kill any shot at a career
.
And I’ll have to call your parents.”

I stare back at him as his words hit me
.
I feel like I’m sta
r
ring in the
after school special
:
The Higher You Get, the Lower You Fall
:
The Gray Thomas Story
.
Except this isn’t
a joke
.
This is my
real
life I’m screwing with.

“
Two things
,
Gray
.
One, if you don’t think
you can play
, you
need to communicate with me
.
I can’t read your mind
.
Two, s
tay clean
,” Coach says
.
“
I
mean it
.
I
f
I
find out that you so much as look at a beer, or
are in the same room as
marijuana,
then
I’ll have to cut you
.
I’m not going to waste my time on guys that don’t want to be here when
there
are
hundreds of players
that would kill to be in your
s
pot
.
”
 

I swallow and take his offer
.
“
Got it.
”
 

I stand up and
summon enough self
-
esteem to
lift my head and walk out
of the room
.
I open the door
and Miles
follows behind
me
.
Coach yells for Ri
chie to come in and talk to him
.
His office door slams closed and the next thing I kno
w I’m slammed against a locker,
with Travis
Taylor’s
face inches from mine
.
He pushes his hands again
st my chest
.
I can smell
anger on his
breath
.
The metal locker jam is digging into my shoulder
,
but I don’t
try to stop him
.
I don’t have any fight left
.

“
You
stupid, selfish piece of shit
.
You do something like that
again and
I’ll kick you off th
e
team myself,
”
he says
.
Miles tries to
pry us apart
.

“
Dude,
let
it go
.
C
oach
handle
d
it
.
”