Shadow Light (Beautiful Beings #3) (3 page)

“That may be true, but I still want to keep them out of this.  They’ve already been through so much, watching me grow up as a demon slayer.  I think I want to spare them at least the questioning and uncertainty I’m going through.  I’ll tell them about this when I know what
this
is.”

 “Who knows, maybe they already know.  They’re pretty smart.  I don’t think my parents ever knew, granted they weren’t around much to notice there was something different about me.  Honestly, I think they wouldn’t have seen a thing even if they’d stayed with me for any amount of time.”

“I’m sorry you had to do so much growing up on your own.”

He hugged me tighter and kissed my temple.  “Forget about all that.  Despite everything, I’m grateful; grateful for what I have now.  Finding you was a big relief.  I needed to find someone who was just like me.”

He cupped my chin and turned me to look at him.  His eyes, so often hard and uncompromising, were now soft and warm, welcoming me into his sphere, into his world.  I knew this was important to him.

“You have no idea how happy I am that I found out about you.  It’s answered so many questions about myself.  It’s helped me understand so much more about my life.”

“You know, I glad too.”

Chapter 2

Ethereal Sight

A
sher’s knowledge of Latin proved inadequate as we flipped through the Book of Angels.  He’d managed to pick up on a few words here and there.

“I’m going to have to look some of this up again,” he’d said as he scratched his head.  He pointed to a line.  “Bellum, that means war, but basium… that’s a kiss.”

“The kiss of war.”

“Then you have hostium, or enemy, but here you have amicitia, which is friendship.”

“One extreme to the other.”

“Yeah.  And here you have abisco, which could mean to split or separate.”

The words spun around in my head as I headed to Brax’s door after dinner. Asher had to head back home so I arrived at the Kingsley mansion by myself. I’d hope to arrive with an answer to the curse he lived with and to check up on him, especially how he had been so shaken by this morning’s demon incident. Without much progress with the Book of Angel, I felt empty and useless. Despite that, I had to see him. His parents had asked me to protect him, and I still cared deeply for him as a friend and something more.

“Lux,” he answered with a distinctive lack of enthusiasm when he opened the door.  If anything his voice held a heavy tone of despair and darkness.

“Hey,” I said lightly.  “Can I come in?”

Scrutinizing me, he hesitated a moment, then pulled open the door without a word.

The big mansion was even more silent and void of life than when his uncle was alive.  Brax had mentioned letting some of the help go, not so much for financial reasons, but simply to have more privacy.

He led me to his uncle’s library, a room he had adopted and spent much time in.

“Brax,” I said as I sat down. “Just to ease your mind, I don’t really think you had anything to do with what happened to Bobby.  I don’t think you're the one who drained him.”

“That’s good to hear.” His voice remained cool and unmoved, just as he did.  He stood, stiff and still beside me.  “But it doesn’t really answer much though.  I mean, I don’t even remember going into the locker room to begin with.  I didn’t play lacrosse today because I was behind on an essay I had to write for English Lit, and I’d spent an hour at the library.  I had no reason to go to the gym.”

“And the gym and library are practically at opposite ends,” I said.

“That and I don’t understand why I would shove Asher into a locker.  It doesn’t make sense.”

“I know how frustrating all this must be for you, but we’ll find out what’s really going on and we’ll find a way to break you from this curse.”  I reached out for his hand and gave a gentle tug, hoping to incite him to sit beside me.  Though he didn’t quite pull his hand from mine, he did resist the tug toward the chair.  “Asher and I have been pouring over the Book of Angels hoping to find something that would help.  So far we haven’t found anything concrete; something about friends and enemies, about love and war.”

“You're wasting your time.  You guys can’t help me.”

“Don’t say that, Brax.  You can’t give up.  Remember what your parents said.  You need an angel’s help.”

He gazed down at me, his eyes vague and unsure.

I gave his hand a teasing squeeze.  “So now we know I have some angel blood in me. I guess that’s why I was so drawn to you right from the start.”

The Braxton I’d come to know finally broke through.  He grinned.  “It’s not simply because you found me attractive?”

I gave his hand a playful slap and leaned back into my chair.  “You?  Atrractive?”

He sat on the edge of his uncle’s desk and clasped his hands over his lap.  “Some girls happen to think I’m attractive.”

It was good to see him back to his old self.

“I guess you could say that I’m not like some girls.”

“Oh, you could definitely say you’re not like some girls.  In fact you like no other girl I’ve ever met.  You're Lux, and unique in so many ways.”

“You're just saying that because I want to save you that’s all.”

“And I know you’ll do it.”  It was his turn to reach out for my hand.  He pulled me out of my chair and pulled me to him.  He was so vulnerable in that moment, I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him everything would be okay. That I would be there for him, especially now.

But, as he tried to bring me closer, I kept a safe distance from him, refusing to come into his embrace.  “Hold on, Brax.”

“I thought you…”

“You know, I’m still a little mad at you.”

“Mad?  At me? I thought you said you didn’t think I had anything to do with what happened to Bobby.”

“Not that, Brax.  Your confession that day at Yosemite… about your relationship with Shayne.”

Shaking his head, he pulled me closer.  “I’m sorry about that.  I know I should have told you about it sooner… before you learn about it the way you did.  Lux, that whole thing with Shayne was a long time ago, and honestly, I never really gave it much thought.  I was lost, she was there, then, before you knew it, I was not there.  It was really as quick as that.  I met her, got to know her and moved on.  Now, can we move on?”

“It’s not the fact that you guys have this history together, it’s the fact that you didn’t tell me yourself.  You know you had plenty of chances to do so, but you said nothing.  I can’t help but wonder what else you might be hiding.”

“I wasn’t hiding it, Lux.  I just didn’t think it was that important because she didn’t mean anything to me.  Look Lux, I’ll tell you stuff about me then. I’ll be open and honest to you.  What do you want to know? I never told you I broke my arm when I was six years old.  I climbed onto the counter to get my favorite cereal bowl and fell off.  When I was nine I had a paper route.  My parents had grounded me and cut my allowance and I wanted to go to the movies with a friend.  So I collected my paper route money from my clients, pocketed the money and went to the movies.”

“Brax…”

“Then when I was twelve my best friend and I decided to bike out into the county side to camp.  Our backpacks were full of canned soup, canned fruits and canned tuna.  By the time we arrived at our destination, we were so exhausted we called his father and had him come pick us up.”

“That’s enough, Brax.  You know very well that this is different.”

“Of course, relationships.  Well, how about this?  I went to Italy when I was fifteen and met a girl there, Becca.  For the whole two weeks I was there, I spent every minute I could with her.  I was heartbroken when I came back, but, hell, two weeks later I was hanging with my friends and Becca was just a cool memory from a really cool vacation.  Is there anything else you want to know?”

“I knew Shayne.  I hung out with Shayne.”

“You hung out with her brother.”

“You know this is more than a simple omission.  You knew this would matter.”

Brax swallowed and cast his gaze to the hardwood floor.  “It wasn’t intentional.  If anything, you have to believe it wasn’t intentional.  I mean, maybe, somewhere in the back of my head I was afraid to tell you.  Maybe I was afraid how you’d react, but I didn’t intentionally mean to deceive you or hide anything from you.”

I looked at him, silent as I thought through everything he’d said. 

“You know how Shayne can be when she makes up her mind.  She came on strong, and I gave in.  Not exactly the kind of thing I’m proud of and go around telling new girls I meet.”

“New girls?”

“You know what I mean… you.”  A hint of a grin came to his lips.  “Come on, Lux.  Don’t tell me that I’ve lost you forever just because of a stupid thing like this.”

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Yeah.”  He bit his bottom lip in that adorable way he had.  “You are.”

I stepped closer and but not enough to allow him to wrap me in his arms.  “Brax, I care so much for you, you have no idea.  I don’t have many friends. When I was brand new, you stepped in and showed me around St. James. You're one of my closest friends.”

“Ouch.”  He winced and pulled back.  “Friends?”

“Brax, this isn’t the time to get wrapped up in emotions.  I’m here to help you, and Asher’s doing everything he can to help, too.  For now I want you to put your energy towards controlling yourself.”

He snickered.  “Controlling myself?”  With a firm yank, he pulled me into his arms.  “How about controlling
yourself
?”

I felt the pull right away; the attraction, the arousal, the desire.  It was strong and overpowering, making it almost impossible to control myself.  My limbs were suddenly leaden and unable to pull away.  I leaned into him, wanting to lose myself in his embrace, in his kiss.

My God, his lips were so tempting.  They looked soft and inviting and I could already smell the enticing scent of his breath. 

“Brax, I just came here to…” My voice was unusually husky, heavy with sexual tension and with the strain of holding back.  “I came to help you.”

“Then help me.”  His voice was just as heavy with desire as mine. He leaned in to brush his lips against my temple, and I closed my eyes, waiting for him to move his lips down to mine. My hunger for him was overwhelming, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

Before his lips found mine, I came to my senses.

“Brax, I can’t.  Not like this.  This pull…I mean I’m want you, but now as strong as this… it’s like I want you to devour me, to take me.”

Brax smiled. “That good?” He leaned in again.

I pushed him away and said, “Remember how whenever we kissed when we first dated, I kept seeing Moore’s face? I kept feeling this strong desire for him, although I was with you? It was like an enchantment.”

Brax ran his hand through his hair and let out a sigh of frustration. “I remember that alright,” he said gruffly. “I didn’t like it one bit, and I wanted to protect you from him.”

“But now your incubi powers are giving you that same ability as Moore’s. You’re irresistible, and I want more or you. I want you to do more than what I should be doing. You’re using your power over me.”

“No,” he shouted. His hands were strong and firm as he gripped my hips and held me at arms’ length.  “Damn it.”

“Brax, I know you're not intentionally trying to control me, but you have to be careful.”

“I can’t believe this.  I’m already going through so much, and on top of it all, you're now telling me that I have the power to draw you to me, but that very power is what is now repelling you. I’m using all my will power, every ounce of discipline to keep from ravishing you, but all you want is…”

He stood and walked to the window, plowing his hands through his hair then balling his fists and pounding the air in front of him.

“Please, Brax.  I hate to see you upset like this.  I’m doing everything I can to get you out of this curse, but you have to be patient.”

Looking at him now, it was almost impossible to see the handsome and strong young man I met just a few months ago.  He’d been virtually flawless; his fair hair in shimmering curls around his face, his smile, alluring in its boyish appeal, his build, strong, powerful and so sexy.

 These past days, I’d watch him crumble before my eyes.  His was a soft, deteriorating shell of his former self.

“I thought we had something together,” Brax murmured, his eyes staring blankly out the window.

“Brax, those days we spent together, all those nights you tutored me, helped me… got me through tests, quizzes and exams, I really did have a good time with you.  I enjoy your company.  You're a smart and funny guy…”

“But…”

I thought of the few long and lingering kisses we’d shared.  He was so perfect in so many ways, yet… Why didn’t I feel that… that special something, that spark?  Where were the butterflies and damp palms?

With my heart aching, I reached for him, hoping to transmit the affection, however platonic it might be, to him.  But the gentle touch of my hand to his shoulder wasn’t received as platonically as it had been delivered.

Brax turned to me, pulled me possessively into his arms and lowered his lips over mine.  Hard and determined, he pried my lips apart with his tongue and reached in to taste my tongue. It felt like heaven, and I let out a low moan. He tightened his hold on me. He was almost savage in his embrace.  His fingers dug into the flesh of my back, up my shoulders and through my hair.  Tightening his grip, he held me close, while he deepen his kisses.

“Brax,” I shouted, finally able to pull back and push him away.

“What do you expect of me?” he shouted back.  “You want me to just shut it off?  You want me to simply ignore how I feel about you?  How hungry I feel when I’m around you?  Damn it, Lux.  This is killing me.”

For an unsure moment I cast my eyes to the floor, while my fingers played over my tender and bruised lips.  “You were hurting me.”

“I’m sorry.”  He gripped my arm and pulled me to him.  “That’s how badly I want you.  I can’t even measure it out in small, tender doses like I should.  I just want you.  I know you're fighting it, for whatever reason, but I think you want me too.”