SLACK: A Day in the Life of Ford Aston (Rook and Ronin Spin-off) (11 page)

I shrug and stand up and her eyes follow me, making her head tilt.

It takes every ounce of willpower not to slip my hand across the milky white skin on her throat, grasp the back of her neck, pull her towards me, and claim her mouth. “This isn’t even me talking right now. I don’t feel these things, Rook. Ever. When did I become capable of jealousy?” I huff out some air. “Well, it’s not really a mystery. It was the day I met you, that’s when. You’ve changed me, Rook. You make me weak, you make me stumble, you make me fall, and even though I know you’ll pick me up if I ask you to, it’s not enough. I want you to make me stronger, just like I made you. I want it all or I want nothing. And since I can’t have it all, I’ll take nothing.”

She stares up at me in silence, the shock of my words displayed on her face.

I can’t stand to see the hurt in her eyes. I can’t stand to see her fear and sadness as the realization of what’s happening finally sinks in.

So I do what I have to do. I make it worse.

So she’s left with no more doubts about what kind of man I am. So she will release her hold on me. So she will stop looking at me like she cares.

So I can let go and move on.

I turn away.

I walk out.

And I never look back.

New to this series? Lovin’ Ford and want to hear more from him before TAUT releases in January? Check out the Rook & Ronin series. (Ford appears in book two)

TRAGIC: Rook and Ronin, #1
is FREE

MANIC; Rook and Ronin, #2 can be found here

PANIC: Rook and Ronin #3 can be found here

TAUT: The Ford Book, is a stand-alone novel that will release on January 20
th
. Sign up for a
Facebook share promo here
. and once your subscription is confirmed, you will be entered to win one of three e-copies of TAUT on release day.

Sign up for BOTH the
TAUT: The Ford Book
and
GUNS: The Spencer Book
release day promos posts and be automatically entered to win a set of SLACK/TAUT signed paperbacks.

End of Book Shit

Can we all agree that we love Ford? :) I’ll let you in on a secret—Ford was supposed to be the bad guy. I tried very hard, but as soon as he stood there in the darkness of Antoine’s studio and Ronin passed by him in the beginning of Manic, I knew. There’s no way Ford was a bad guy. Maybe he’s got issues, but there’s something about him that’s tragic in all the right ways.

Ford is waiting near the studio windows when I walk in, his back to me, his stick-up-his-ass posture as erect as ever. It's been years and still the sight of him makes me want to punch his face in.

"Where'd you find her?" he asks without turning around.

"She found me."

"What's wrong with her?"

"She's a nice girl, Ford. So stay back. She'll do her job, don't worry."

But my favorite Ford scene in Manic was this one, where Rook finds her inner bad-ass and puts him in his place. And after I wrote that chapter I was like—
holy shit, where did that even come from
? I might be in love with Ford.

"Makes you feel what, Rook? Used?"

I stop again. "Yeah, OK? You make me feel like he's using me. And he's not, you are! You're using me to mess things up between us and…"

"And what?"

I hold that in and keep walking.

"And keep you for myself? Is that what you think, Rook?"

"No, Ford. That's not what I think."

"Then your instincts are off, because that's exactly what I'm doing."

I stop again. "Holy shit! You are such an asshole!"

And then he smiles. And it's not a smile I've ever seen on him before. It's like all his other smiles were fake and I'm just now seeing real happiness on his face for the first time.

It disarms me. Completely. And he knows it because he moves closer to me, not touching me, but very close. It makes me uncomfortable and I look around, feeling guilty. There's no one else in the parking lot. There are a lot of cars on the street, but we're still a good hundred yards from the street.

"I won't touch you, Rook, don't worry," he whispers. “I’m not a runner and I'm not a cheater, either. Life is long, you are young, and I'm very, very patient."

My expression hardens, all traces of insecurities disappear in an instant and I look him in the eyes. "I'm not worried, Ford. Because if you touch me, I'll knee you in the balls so hard it'll be weeks before you can run stadiums again."

In fact, I think every Ford scene is my favorite. In Panic it was the epilogue that you just read in this book that made people fall in love with him. He stole the show in that scene. But before the epilogue, Ford spent most of the book desperately trying to get Rook to see the real him…

“May I cut in?” I laugh as Ford’s voice comes from behind me. “I promise to give her back.”

Ronin smiles down at me. “I dunno, Ford. She’s looking pretty content right now.”

I peek back at Ford and smile. “Oh, absolutely, Ford. Because I want to know all about that date you brought. Like every single detail.”

We all look over at her at the same time. She’s… older. Mid-thirties, older.

I turn to Ronin. “I need that story. Come save me from His Weirdness in five minutes.”

He hands me off and Ford slides in next to me without even breaking the little shuffling dance Ronin and I were doing. “Is she the… girlfriend?”

A smirk from Ford. “I told you, I’d never call them girlfriends.”

I look at her again as Ford turns us on the patio. She’s tall, blonde, thin, and wearing an elegant white dress that goes just past her knees but hugs all her curves. Her hair is piled into a sophisticated up-do that even Josie would envy. “What’s her name?”

“She has no name.”

I laugh. “Ford.”

“I’m serious. I never get their names.”

“Is she a call-girl?”

He scowls. “No, I don’t pay for sex, Rook.”

“Hmmmm. I’m not sure what to think.”

“I told you, I do not give a fuck about people. I wasn’t kidding. I use them, they use me. Everyone is happy.”

“But you’re not using me.”

“Of course I am. You’re filling the friend role for now.”

TAUT is Ford’s story. It’s his past, his present, and his future. All the weirdness is on display and all the reasons behind it come out. He truly is an asshole. But he’s got his reasons and it’s not something he’s proud of, it’s just…
his nature
. And he’s got a lot of self-loathing, but no one need know that but him. He also has his pride.

TAUT: The Ford Book is a full length novel that releases on January 20
th
. If you’re interested in helping me spread the word on release day please
sign up for our release day promo list
. We’ll send you one email with a link to share on Facebook. It’s not a newsletter list, you only get one email.

And I love talking with you guys on my author Facebook page. So if you’re chatty on there,
stop by my page and say hello
. I run all kinds of paperback giveaway for each new release.

Now to the
thank yous
…

My street team is so cool. I love you guys. I’m not sure if this is how a street team is supposed to be run, but I enjoy that group. Thanks a bunch Jana, Jennifer, Ali, Heidi, and Michelle for helping me proof this. I didn’t have time to get RJ to edit for me, so these ladies were a life saver. And all the other members, just thanks so much for your support, jokes, and conversation. You are a crazy bunch.

If you’d like to be a part of my private street team group I’ll open it up for participants again after the TAUT book release. I’ll announce it on
Facebook
.