Snowbound (10 page)

But Amy stopped, and her eyes narrowed. You
do
think hes hot!

I just said

I mean, you really think he is. Wow. Thats why you keep blushing. Are you going to see him again after we leave?

They all stared expectantly at her.

I dont know Belatedly realizing shed just made a big mistake, Fiona said, Theres nothing like that going on. Anyway, its none of your business.

Youre blushing right now. Yes! I was right! Amy crowed.

Amy, there really
isnt
anything like that

In a low voice, Tabitha interrupted. Hes coming.

Fiona raised her eyebrows at her circle of students. Enough said. Okay?

Okay, they chorused cheerfully. Lying, every one of them. She would never hear the end of this.

Problem? John asked behind her.

No problem, she said too hastily, and turned.

The mere sight of him sent her heart skittering again. He
looked
so darn good with his broad shoulders and lean build, shaggy dark hair, a perfectly sculpted face with hollows beneath the cheekbones, straight, narrow nose and unrevealing mouth that, Fiona couldnt help noting, seemed more relaxed than usual.

We were just talking, Kelli said.

Yeah, Dieter chimed in. Do you think the snowplow will come tomorrow?

Its possible. Depends how widespread the storm was.

How will we know if it comes? Kelli asked.

Well be able to hear it. Sound carries out here.

I dont care if they dont make it tomorrow, Dieter said. He glanced at Willow. Im having fun.

Me, too, Tabitha said. Except I wish I had more clothes here.

Troy had apparently wandered down the stairs in the midst of the discussion, because from the outskirts of the small group he said, Yeah, its been cool.

I dont want to go home yet, Willow said with surprising force, then flushed as gazes swung her way.

To rescue her, Fiona said, Im in no hurry, either. How about you, Hopper?

Im good.

One by one, the others agreed, Amy last and least
convincingly. And yet, she
did
agree, which Fiona thought might be a good sign. Did she even look surprised, as if she hadnt realized that maybe shed been having fun, too?

Fiona smiled at John. See what an extraordinary host you are? We dont want to leave you.

Glad to know that. His gaze lingered just long enough on her face to cause her cheeks to heat before moving to the kids. Youve been good guests.

Yay us! Kelli declared.

Anybody want cookies and cocoa? John asked.

He was almost flattened in the stampede that ensued. Only Erin rose from the armchair with dignity, carefully put a bookmark in place and strolled past the two adults toward the kitchen.

Echoing Fionas thoughts, John murmured, Forty-year-old in a seventeen-year-olds body.

Um, Fiona agreed, looking after the petite girl. She and John followed her, Fiona keeping her voice low. What I cant figure out is whether shes
really
that together. The sad part is, Ill probably never know. One of the frustrations of teaching. You see what they might become, then most of the time, you never find out if they did. If that makes sense.

Surely in a private school youll hear.

Maybe. Yeah, youre right. In Portland it was different.

The kitchen door swung shut behind Erin, leaving the two of them alone.

John gripped Fiona and turned her to face him, his easy manner gone. We didnt get a chance to talk.

No. Its okay. What it was, she couldnt have said. Her heart? If so,
she
was once again lying. It wasnt okay.

His hand tightened. Later?

The door swung open again, releasing a burst of voices. Hopper started to say, Wheres the then stopped. Oh. Sorry.

Nothing to be sorry about, Fiona said. We were just talking about how wed get the van back on the road.

She was a little bit appalled at how readily shed taken to telling lies, one after another.

Muscle, John said, putting a hand on the door and gesturing for her to precede him. Good thing you have the boys with you.

We can do anything boys can do, Kelli insisted. Umwhat are we going to do?

Fiona laughed, the pressure in her chest easing. Hoist the van back onto the road.

Oh. We can do that. Right? She looked around the table. Girl power? And I guess guy power, too?

Fiona cast John a grateful glance and sat down as he went into the pantry and brought out a container of cookies he must have whipped up during the day. The kids excitedly talked about getting the van on the lane, how theyd turn it around, how weird it would be to go home.

Its like,
anything
could have happened in the world while we were up here, Dieter said. I mean, the school could have burned down, and we wouldnt know.

They were all briefly silent, contemplating the possibility with awe.

Ill try to call Mr. Schneider again, Fiona said.
If I get him, Ill be sure to ask whether the school is still standing.

Maybe it snowed so much, the gym roof collapsed. Kelli sounded hopeful. No more P.E.

The gym roof
is
kind of flat, Troy said. Hey, you never know.

They launched into an entertaining litany of other possibilities: the principal had quit, parents had moved and left no forwarding address, colleges had gotten together and announced that henceforth SAT results would no longer be required for admission decisions and the quarterback of the football team had heard that Kelli was missing, perhaps dead, and realized he was forever, tragically in love with her.

Of course, hed have to know who I
am
for that to work, she admitted practically.

He does know, hes just suppressed the knowledge, Tabitha contributed.

Who is the quarterback? Dieter the nerd asked.

Even John was smiling as they razzed Dieter.

When only crumbs remained in the cookie container, the kids wandered back to the living room and their various games and books. Erin had found a book of Sudoku puzzles on the shelf, many unattempted, and she and Troy huddled over it. While eating cookies, hed grumbled about the battery on his iPod being gone. History. No charger. No music. Evidently he was consoling himself with number puzzles.

Fiona pretended to read. It seemed an eternity before, in twos and threes, the teenagers headed upstairs. Fiona had quit worrying about what configurations of gender
disappeared into rooms together. Now that the budding romance between Hopper and Amy had cooled, Dieter and Willow were the only potential pair, and they were far too inexperienced with the opposite sex and too awkward with each other to do more than sneak a first, clumsy kiss.

Erin and Troy were the last two to go up. Are you coming, Ms. Mac? Erin asked politely, pausing on the first step.

She looked up as if surprised to realize shed be left alone. Oh. No, I think Ill read for a few more minutes. Good night, Erin. Good night, Troy.

Fiona waited for several minutes after they disappeared upstairs. Then she set down her book on the arm of the chair and went to the kitchen, where, as expected, she found John.

He looked up. Kids still hanging around?

No, theyve all gone up.

Very deliberately, he set a torn slip of paper in place and closed his book. Can I get you a cup of coffee?

No, I wouldnt be able to sleep. After a moments hesitation, she chose the seat right across the long plank table from him.

John nodded. They sat in silence for a moment.

Fiona was just gathering herself to say somethingGod knew what would have come out of her mouthwhen he spoke.

When I asked earlier if you were okay His turn to hesitate. I suppose what I was really asking was whether I was out of line kissing you.

Do you mean, she asked carefully, did I want you to kiss me?

He dipped his head.

Fiona took a deep breath. They were being so civil, two near-strangers compelled to discuss the uncomfortable. She hated it.

Lifting her chin, she said, Yes. Yes, I wanted you to kiss me. So you dont have to feel guilty orI dont know, whatever you were feeling.

He stared at her, face very still. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse. Not guilty. Justafraid Id misread you. Ive wanted to kiss you from the minute you walked in the door. But I didnt mean to do it that way, when Id been a jackass and was upset.

It really is all right. Suddenly it was. Ive wanted you to kiss me since then, too.

Ah.

I was afraid Id leave and youd still be so stiff and polite and I wouldnt know She broke off. Well, what it was like.

His eyebrows rose in that way he had. You were curious?

No, I was in suspense.

His mouth twitched. And now?

Im hoping you plan to kiss me again, she admitted frankly.

He gave a short, startled bark of laughter. Yeah, Im planning. His chair scraped on the floor as he stood.

Fiona pushed hers back, too, and rose to meet him when he circled the table.

He reached out and slid his fingers into her hair, wrapping his hand around the back of her head. In suspense, he murmured. Ive been in suspense all evening, thinking youd have whomped me if I hadnt opened the door and escorted you back inside.

Whomped
you? Fiona laughed up at him, even though her knees felt weak. You couldnt tell I was enthusiastic?

Any amusement in his eyes vanished, leaving him looking terribly vulnerable. I thoughtbut I was feeling so muchGod. He closed his eyes for a second. Quit talking, Fallon, he ordered himself, and bent his head.

Fiona gladly, thankfully, kissed him back.

K
ISSING
F
IONA
gave him an adrenaline kick as powerful as going into combat but without the accompanying fear. Just holding herthat reminded John more of those occasional moments when he stood on the front porch watching the sun rise and rediscovering an inner core of peace.

He lay in bed that night with exhilaration coursing through his body and thinking,
She heals me.
He wanted her until he ached with it, something he hadnt felt in so long he actually enjoyed the near-pain. Shed reminded him how to smile, taught him to laugh again. Even her students had been a gift of sorts; once upon a time, John had liked kids. Hed volunteered as a coach in a youth soccer league in Portland, before his ill-fated attempt to connect with Iraqi youth in Fallujah in the same way. Despite some uncomfortable moments and the one, shockingly vivid flashback, he had enjoyed being around her students. Somehow theyd managed to take him back to a time when hideous dreams didnt await every time he slept, when a Friday night date or an exam had filled his world and the tragedies happening in other parts of the world had been headlines on Yahoo and not a landscape he couldnt seem to escape.

Hed be sorry to see them go. But not as sorry as hed be that Fiona would be leaving as well, robbing him of the anticipation hed begun to feel on waking in the morning, the erection he had to quell when he went to bed at night, the color and life in between that had replaced his previous days of nonstop work meant to keep him from thinking.

He wondered whether maybe it wasnt just her. Hed come to Thunder Mountain for quiet, hard physical labor, unspoiled beauty and peace, believing theyd work better than the drugs Army doctors wanted to prescribe. Maybe they
had
worked.

But he didnt believe it. Fiona had awakened something nearly forgotten inside him. He would give almost anything to keep seeing her.

He could take a trip to Portland in a week or two. Stay at his parents or his sisters, give Fiona a call. Good idea, John thought, ignoring the unease that had him rolling over and punching the pillow into a new shape. Yeah. He could do that. Just a short trip. His parents would be thrilled to have him there for Thanksgiving. He could kill two birds with one stone.

Bad analogy. Not just words. Small frail bones. Blood. Stillness.

Dont think of it that way.
Hed make his parents happy,
and
get to see Fiona. Yeah. Thatd work.

He finally slept, not dreamlessly but without throat-clogging nightmares, and awakened in the early hours of morning still aroused. Or, aroused again. A wisp of memory suggested hed had at least one good dreaman erotic one.

He took coffee out onto the porch as he often did,
cupping his mug to keep his hands warm, watching the forest around him gradually come into focus as the sky lightened at first imperceptibly until finally it became a pearl-gray shade that allowed the trees to acquire sharp definition. And finally came color: a hint of pink, as pearls sometimes had, then richer and richer colors until they nearly hurt his eyes with their incandescence. The blue of the sky leached the vivid colors away as quickly as theyd been born, and morning had arrived.

For once, the spectacle failed to lift the heaviness in his chest. More aware of the biting cold than usual, John went back in.

The snowplows would come today. He realized hed been half-listening for the roar even though he knew the highway department didnt start work this early except in emergencies.

He should get the kids out there right after breakfast, shoveling in front of the shed so he could pull open a door and get out the aluminum snowshoes he kept for guests. He needed to go up and see how theyd left the van and what kind of work was needed to get it back on the road. The boys could come with him.

As first a couple of the kids and then Fiona came downstairs for breakfast, John hid his regret.

She smiled at him, her gaze shy.

Yeah, Ill be surprised if the plow doesnt make it up here today, he agreed with Troy. He half-listened to the kids excited chatter and watched Fiona to see whether she rejoiced, too, at the idea of making it home or whether she shared any of his regret. She nodded and smiled at things her students said, her ex
pression pensive, but he couldnt decide how she felt about the idea of finally continuing the interrupted trip.

The boys were intrigued by the snowshoes, a smaller, lighter-weight version of the old standard, and did well once they got the hang of lifting each foot.

The van was standard white, with the name and logo of the school on each door. The snow hadnt fallen as heavily up here, deep under the trees, but that was the only good news. The first problem was that the van faced downhill on a steep curve, the second that it canted to one side where a front wheel had gone off the narrow road. If the road crew couldnt help, they might have to get a tow truck up here.

Maybe it was because hed felt edgy all morning, with the knowledge that something he didnt want to happen was inevitable, but standing up there in the snow with the boys, studying the van, triggered a scene in his head too vivid to be called a recollection, but too brief to qualify as a flashback. It was like one of those ten-second videos a person could take with a regular digital camera.

He and Diego had their heads under the hood of the truck, which had lagged behind the convoy and broken down. Iraqis gathered, probably just curious, but one never knew. The couple of guys facing down the crowd had their M-16s pointing at the ground, but out of the corner of his eye John saw Larsons hand holding the gun, his fingers twitching as if he were typing a coded message.

John shook his head slightly, and the vision vanished. It had been a meaningless scene; someone at the back of the convoy had noticed they were missing and a
Stryker had roared back to recover them. Some kid had thrown a rock; John remembered it banging off the trucks welded armor. Hed said quietly, Easy, to Larson, maybe because of those restless fingers. But that was it. Theyd figured out what was wrong with the truck and had driven off. Ninety percent of the scenes that flashed into his head were like this one, nothing hed normally recall. Just pulled out of his memory by somethinga smell, a movement, a noiseand suddenly
there,
as if he lived in two dimensions.

That disturbed him more than anything, the idea that he just couldnt seem to leave Iraq and was perpetually re-enlisting without conscious volition.

But he shook this minor flashback off. They werent coming as often anymore. Healing meant he was a work in process, not cured.

For several minutes, he and the boys threw around ideas, Troy seeming to have the most experience with cars. Then they headed back down to the lodge. The boys raced ahead, their shouts trailing in the thin, cold air, while he took his time.

When he reported the news about the van to Fiona, she nodded resignedly.

I had a feeling backing out wasnt going to be an option.

The road crew might be able to wrap a chain around the axle and pull it out.

While they waited, she threw herself into a frenzy of laundry and cleaning, driving the kids to help with the first hint of sharpness hed heard from her.

Unaware he was within earshot, she told three of
the girls, Mr. Fallon has been really nice about getting stuck with us, and were not going to pay him back by leaving dirty linens or bathrooms that need scrubbing.

But what if we end up staying another night? one of them complained.

Then we make the beds up again tonight and wash the sheets and towels again tomorrow. Boys! she called down the hall. Do you have those beds stripped?

John heated tomato rice soup and made a pile of sandwiches, keeping an eye on her as she passed back and forth through the kitchen carrying heaps of bedding and borrowed clothing, dirty going one way, warm and folded the other.

While they ate, she said, Im sorry, we dont know which of the clothes are yours and which from the lost and found. Were just piling everything on the sofa.

No problem.

I hope weve folded the linens the way you like. If you want us to make up the beds

He shook his head. Ill do it when guests are scheduled.

How do you
know
when people are coming? Dieter asked. Without a phone?

I have a cell phone. Sometimes I can make a call from here. Otherwise, theres a spot down river that usually works.

But how do people make reservations? the boy persisted. Do they have to leave a message and wait until you call?

He smiled. No, the real estate office in Danson
thats the next town west of herehandles my reservations. They get lodge e-mail and answer my reservation line. I check in with them a couple of times a week.

Oh. Satisfied, the boy nodded. That makes sense. But you must have your own e-mail address, too, right?

Yes, I check that at the library when Im down in Danson.

Wow, not having a computer here must be weird.

Everyone at the table except Fiona nodded in amazement and apparent sympathy for him. They couldnt imagine a life so primitive it didnt include unlimited access to the computer.

After lunch, the kids dispersed, and Fiona went back to the laundry room. John followed her, taking the precaution of closing the door behind him.

In the act of moving wet sheets between washer and dryer, she looked from him to the door.

The kids will wonder.

Theyve all set about their appointed tasks. I told them Id clean up from lunch.

You shouldnt let them off the hook.

I was getting rid of them, he corrected. Washing a few dishes is a small price to pay to get you alone.

Oh. In that case She flung a few wet towels in, shut the dryer door and pushed Start, then came to him. And just why was it that you wanted to get me alone?

To argue. He reached up and smoothed her hair behind her ear, loving the sleek feel, so different from his own coarser hair.

Um. About? she whispered, lifting her face.

Whether you should hand over the van keys to Dieter and just stick around?

He hadnt known he was going to say that, or even that he was thinking it. Oh, hell, he knew it was an impossibility, but a damn appealing one. He pictured the two of them standing side by side, waving as the van turned onto the newly packed highway and sped up. He could even see the faces in the window behind circles of steam.

Fiona laughed. Maybe Dieter could take over my classes, too. Im pretty sure hes smarter than I am.

He nuzzled her nose. Im pretty sure Dieter is smarter than just about everyone.

Eyes closed, she murmured, Smart enough to realize you were getting rid of him?

Probably. About to kiss her, John paused. Or maybe not. Hes a child.

The way his hands moved up and down her arms, alternately caressing and kneading, was meant to be a distraction. Not enough of one, apparently, because she argued, Im not so sure about that. He and Willow are definitely flirting.

Theyre like fifth-graders. My friend says her friend says Jennifer says Fiona likes me.

Her breath escaped in a warm puff when she giggled. Fiona does like you.

Ah. Now weve achieved high school directness.

She stood on tiptoe and nipped his lower lip. Quit talking.

A rumble of laughter started in his chest. Careful. We may make it into college.

Probably not if the snowplow comes today

God. He wished it wouldnt come. He wanted to take her back into his bedroom and peel off her clothes, then lay her back on his bed

Not happening. She wouldnt allow it with her students in the lodge.

He kissed her with an edge of desperation. Maybe similar thoughts were running through her head, because she answered fervently, one hand gripping his hair while the other arm wrapped around his neck. John gripped her buttocks and lifted, hungry to feel himself cradled between her thighs. She moaned and sighed and stole quick snatches of breath when he lifted his mouth, then met his lips as eagerly when he came back for more.

He forgot they were in the laundry room, forgot about the kids. Getting lost in her was so damn easy. The skin on her neck was satin soft, and as he kissed his way down, her throat vibrated with a hum of delight that brought him back up to the lush pleasure of her mouth. Her hips and butt were nicely rounded despite her slender figure, her waist tiny. If her breasts hadnt been squished against his chest, hed have filled his hand with one, but that would have meant opening an inch or two between them, and he couldnt bear to do that.

A distant sound didnt penetrate. The dryer rumbled, Fiona gasped, he groaned and angled his head to deepen the kiss.

Ms. Mac! Ms. Mac! The cries, exultant, urgent, came closer.

Somebody was in the kitchen. Brain like sludge, he slowly realized that several somebodies were there. Calling her. Which meant

Oh, crap. He was still processing what those voices meant when she began to struggle.

The kids! Theyre coming!

Yeah. He let go of her and stepped back, shaking his head in an attempt to clear it. God.

Her hands had gone frantically to her hair. Do I look?

Yeah, he said again. You do.

Her finger-combing was making it worse.

He reached up and took her hand. Stop. Theyre not stupid.

Ms. Mac? Where are you?

In here, she called. Working on laundry.

The door swung open, hitting John in the back.

He swore as his hip gave a scream of protest.

Tabithas anxious face peered around the door at him. Im sorry, Im sorry!

Its okay, he said between gritted teeth. My fault.

Just as well if she thought he was keeping his back to her because muscle spasms kept him immobile. Mussed hair on their pretty teacher was one thing; seeing his erection was another.

We hear the snowplow, she said. I mean, it has to be the snowplow, right?

Unless a helicopter is passing over, its got to be the snowplow, John agreed.

A couple of the other kids crowded in behind her. Over her head, Hopper asked, Should we send someone
out to meet them? So they know were here? Because if they dont plow your road as far as the van