Read Something About Love: A YA contemporary romance in verse Online

Authors: Elana Johnson

Tags: #young adult contemporary romance, #young adult, #Contemporary, #poetry, #Romance, #young adult contemporary, #novel-in-verse, #young adult romance, #contemporary romance

Something About Love: A YA contemporary romance in verse (13 page)

BOOK: Something About Love: A YA contemporary romance in verse
5.68Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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Him:
Don’t be.

When I get lost,

I’ll be counting on you

To find me.

“OLIVIA, DARLING, I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.”

Mom’s voice on the message sounds pleasant,

Unrushed.

“Trevor is staying at the house again this weekend.

His mom got a new job, and

She’s traveling more than she used to.

I hope that’s okay.

Your dad mentioned that you don’t like it when he’s here, and

I want you to be comfortable.

Call me, okay?”

I delete the message,

Marveling that Mom called because

She…

Cares how I feel?

I call her back, and

Tell her it’s fine if Trevor’s there, and

Ask her what she has planned for the weekend.

She sounds surprised that I’ve asked, and

A twinge of guilt stabs through me.

“Maybe we could go shopping?” she asks.

I wrinkle my nose and

Suggest, “Movie instead?

Maybe pizza after?

Rose will beg for ice cream too.”

Mom laughs, and

I can’t remember the last time I heard her do that,

Especially not because of something I’ve done.

My chest feels so tight,

So tight.

“Mom—” I start and

Find I can’t finish.

Tears prick behind my eyes and

I suddenly hate this wall between us.

Mom doesn’t seem to notice that

I’m on the verge of a break-down, because

She says, “See you tonight.

Movie date on Saturday!” and

Hangs up.

“HEY, WINGS,”

Trevor says when

Rose and I arrive at the Youngbloods

On Friday night.

He’s lounging in the kitchen,

A plate of food in front of him.

“My mom sent dinner tonight since

Our parents have that country club thing.

You guys hungry?”

Rose looks at me before

Bounding over to Trevor.

They’re not best friends or

Anything, but

He’s always been nice to her and

That’s all Rose cares about.

“Mmm, spaghetti,” she says.

“Does your mom cook every night?

Livvy cooks for us.”

“I know,” Trevor says.

“Remember I ate with you guys a couple of weeks ago?”

He places a piece of garlic bread in front of her and

Turns to heat up her spaghetti in the microwave.

I lean against the doorway,

Watching them.

“And my mom hardly ever cooks,” he continues.

“I’m really good at ordering pizza and

Going to a drive-through.”

Rose smiles at him and

Then at me.

“Come eat, Livvy.”

So I do.

“BUT MOM IS TAKING US TO A MOVIE TOMORROW,”

I protest when Rose wants to do

Movie night tonight.

“I like the stay-home movie night,” she insists.

“There’s popcorn in the cupboard, and

I brought a box of hot chocolate from Dad’s.”

I sigh,

Knowing I won’t win against my sister.

I can’t stand to see her unhappy, and

She wants a stay-home movie night complete with

Popcorn and hot chocolate.

“Fine,” I concede. “What movie?”

“Something we all like,”

Trevor says as he enters the family room with

A huge bowl of popcorn.

He’s carrying two additional bowls and

A stack of napkins.

“You’re staying here?”

This night is moving toward something

I’m not sure I’m ready for.

“I have no other plans.”

He sets the popcorn down and

Turns back to the kitchen.

“Milk or water for your hot chocolate, Rose?”

“Milk,” she says,

Still searching for the right movie.

Ten minutes later,

I’ve strategically positioned myself in

The recliner instead of on

The sectional with

Rose and Trevor.

She’s happily slurping her hot chocolate and

Crunching on popcorn,

The beginnings of
Bridge to Terabithia

Pouring from the huge TV.

Trevor seems content with his snacks and

The choice of movie.

He hasn’t looked at me once,

Hasn’t acted like he’s anything more than

My friend.

I clench my fingers around my mug of hot chocolate and

Try to focus on the movie.

“LOOKS LIKE SHE’S OUT FOR GOOD.”

Trevor’s voice interrupts my intense focus on

The tree house on the TV.

“What?”

I turn toward him and

Find Rose fast asleep on the couch.

My heart simultaneously drops and

Leaps.

I remember the way Trevor’s hand felt in mine,

I remember how I slowly drove him home after the shoot,

Holding his hand for a good fifteen minutes.

I remember how he’d whispered, “See you later, Wings,” and

Got out of the car without

Trying anything else, or

Asking me to go out with him, or

Anything.

He gets up and

Gathers his mug and Rose’s.

“You done?”

“Yeah, sure.”

I hand him my empty mug and

Half-empty bowl.

He leaves, and

I can’t stop the thoughts

Parading through my head.

I want to sit next to him on the couch.

I want to hold his hand again.

I jump from the recliner and

Listen for him to approach.

When I hear his footsteps,

I hurry to the built-in closet behind the couch.

“What are you looking for?” he asks.

“A blanket,” I say.

“I’m cold.”

He opens the door two down from me and

Pulls out a huge quilt.

He takes it with him as he moves back to his spot

On the couch.

I close the closet door slowly,

Watching him.

Is he inviting me to sit next to him?

Share the blanket with him?

I go to the cabinet where he got the blanket,

Not sure how to get what I want without

Admitting

How I feel.

“We can share,” he says.

“I don’t mind.”

“I DON’T MIND EITHER.”

I can’t believe I said that,

I think after

I’m settled next to Trevor on the couch.

I’m not touching him, but

I desperately want to hold his hand.

I can’t believe he didn’t say something like,

“Are you saying you like me?

Want to sit next to me?

Hold my hand?”

But he’d simply held the blanket aside until

I sat next to him.

Then he tossed it over my legs and

Let me take as much as I wanted.

I’m calculating how much time we have to be alone when

He leans toward me.

“This movie always makes me cry,” he whispers.

“I know,” I say without turning.

“I’ve watched this with you before.”

“Really?” he asks.

“I don’t remember.”

“Yeah.”

I turn toward him.

“Remember we watched it after—”

He raises his arm and

Gently pulls me forward until

I’m cradled against his chest.

“Ah, now I remember.

We used to watch a lot of movies like this.”

His heartbeat is galloping,

A gentle bumping against my cheek.

Don’t think, just react.

I smile and

Slide my arm around his waist.

“I don’t know what’s changed with you,” he says real quiet so

He won’t wake Rose, or

Maybe so he won’t scare me away.

“But I’m not complaining.”

“I’m trying to find my way back.”

“I know, but

What’s changed?

Two weeks ago,

You said I had no chance with you, and

Now you’re letting me hold your hand and

I’m thinking I could probably kiss you and

You’d let me do that too.”

My lips tingle just thinking about kissing him.

“Um,” I say.

“I’m working through some stuff, and

Jacey said I should just react and

Stop thinking so much.”

“Jacey is so smart,” he says with a chuckle.

I HAD A FUN TIME AT THE MOVIES WITH MY MOM.

I stare at the fresh journal page,

Completely shocked that I’m writing again.

I haven’t written in a journal since

Trevor and I broke up.

But I did have a good time at the movies with

Mom and

Rose.

We got popcorn and

Sodas.

After, Rose got her way, and

Mom bought ice cream.

Mom laughed,

Hugged Rose, and

Smiled at me like she used to before

I discovered her affair with Darren Youngblood.

I still blame her for leaving us and

Going off to live with Darren, but

I’m starting to realize now that

She didn’t replace us with a new family,

That she isn’t perfect, but

That she…loves us.

That she loves me.

TREVOR IS UNREASONABLY HAPPY TODAY,

Jacey texts on Monday during her lunch.

Me:
So?

Jacey:
You better tell me everything.

Right now.

I know you’re hiding something.

I’ve been holding onto the secret of

Trevor, of

Holding his hand, of

Listening to the beat of his heart instead of

Listening to the movie.

I hadn’t even cried like I usually do, because

I’d been so happy with Trevor.

Me:
Okay, fine.

I may have held his hand last weekend, and

We may have watched a movie together on Friday.

Jacey:
!!!

Gotta go,

Come get me after school.

Me:
Don’t make a big deal out of this.

I’m just reacting,

Like you suggested.

Jacey doesn’t answer, because

She’s in class.

I flip my phone over,

Thinking about everything’s that changed since

I started shooting him.

Because of him,

I’m taking pictures again, and

I love it.

Because of him,

I’ve forgiven my mom—

Just a little bit—

But still.

Because of him,

I’m contemplating taking a picture of myself so

I can see who I really am,

How I really feel.

I thumb the camera on and

See myself staring at the screen.

I quickly tap the shutter button, and

The camera clicks.

“I HATE MY HAIR,”

I mutter.

I’ve never realized it until now,

Staring at myself on

The screen of my phone.

I see myself in the mirror all the time, and

I’ve cut my hair this way on purpose.

But looking at myself in this cheap,

Phone-taken

Picture,

I realize

I hate my hair.

“LET’S TRY AGAIN.”

I navigate back to the camera, and

This time,

I try to smile.

“I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT.”

I can’t smile right.

It feels wrong,

Like I’ve forgotten how to do it because

It’s been so long since I’ve tried—or

Had a reason to smile.

I touch the shutter anyway and

Analyze the picture.

I see nothing in my eyes.

None of the happiness,

Joy, or

Amusement

You’d expect to see in a picture of someone smiling.

I don’t look annoyed either, or

Like the photographer has coaxed this smile from

Me by proclaiming, “Smile!”

I simply look…dead inside,

Like a girl who’s trying to smile because

A boy challenged her to take a selfie and

See what it said about her.

But this photo says nothing about me,

And yet,

It says everything.

It says how unhappy I’ve allowed myself to become, and

How far I’ve removed myself from living, and

How by trying to smile, I’ve made myself

Look like someone
trying
to be happy, but

Failing.

I think I
feel
happier, but

I’m an expert at analyzing pictures, and

This one says I’m not there yet.

This one says I still hurt,

Still need to heal,

Still need to

Forgive.

WANNA HANG OUT TONIGHT?

Trevor’s text interrupts my third attempt at

Taking a self-portrait.

Something shrinks in my chest at

The thought of simply hanging out with Trevor.

Hang out?
I text back.

Or go out?

Whichever makes you most comfortable,
he replies.

Friends hang out.

But boyfriends take their girlfriends out,
I tell him.

Are you saying I’m your boyfriend?

I don’t think;

I press the call button.

“ARE YOU SAYING YOU
WANT
TO BE MY BOYFRIEND?”

I ask him when he picks up.

“And don’t you have class right now?”

“Yes,” he says, his voice real low,

Like he’s answered his phone in the middle of calculus.

“And yes.”

It’s all I can do not to drop my phone,

BOOK: Something About Love: A YA contemporary romance in verse
5.68Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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