Special Needs (20 page)

“Liam? I need to change, yeah?” He snapped his fingers, waking Liam out of his hazy fantasy land.

“Okay, yeah, me too,” he grumbled and quickly returned to his own room. He’s brought it upon himself.

The sun was slowly setting and thanks to that, the weather was much milder than in the afternoon. Liam left the wheelchair on the top floor and carried Ryan all the way down to the beach. At some point, even a twink becomes became heavy, but it didn’t matter all that much as long as Ryan gave him
that
smile. Ryan’s smile was priceless, like that of a kid who just received his dream Action Man and a stockingful of sweets. It made Liam want to brush his own mouth over Ryan’s lips and then push them open, lay on top of him and...

He had to get a few minutes away from Ryan, or he was bound to blurt out something inappropriate. But when he came back, Ryan was still as adorable as ever, sitting on the bench, where Liam left him.

“Wow! This is a full blown picnic, right?” exclaimed Ryan, watching Liam return with the zombie blanket and a basketful of food. His legs were always stiff looking in those braces, but the wetsuit seemed to allow his knees more slack. With his usual daytime braces, Ryan would have to readjust the straps if he wanted to change anything about the position of his legs. When he was in the chair, they were permanently bent, so they wouldn’t even flop when Liam picked him up.

“Well, I guess our first beach date calls for a celebration, right?” Liam shot him his trademark smile and spread the blanket over the sand. He got some local wine and ginger cookies, to help spice up the mood. Was that a perfect early supper, or what?

“Oh yeah?” Ryan just shook his head. “Where are my roses then?”

Liam sighed, feeling his chest heat up. “A romantic type? I could make some out of ham and toothpicks.”

“Worst. Date. Ever,” Ryan summed it up, he but held out his arms to be taken onto the blanket. “You should know by now I’m all about flowers and candles.”

These words pumped the air out of Liam’s lungs, even though he knew they were meant to be a joke. “Hope I get another chance then. You’ll get your flowers.” He gently picked Ryan up, using the position to smell his blue hair. He got so used to their scent, he actually started making the connection between the smell and the color blue. The aroma then returned to him when he saw that shade in the street, or on television.

“No you won’t. You only get one chance with Ryan Richards. You blow it and that’s it,” Ryan teased him, as Liam put him down on the blanket. It always took Ryan a second to catch balance.

“You want me to blow you here? Out in the open?” Liam made a shocked face and dropped to the ground right next to Ryan.

“No!” Ryan laughed and took a cookie from the basket, looking as happy as ever. “I said you already blew it. Gotta find yourself another cripple to impress.”

“Shut up, you’re not getting rid of me so easily.” Liam pushed on Ryan’s arm to force him to lie down. His heart leapt at the sight of Ryan sprawled flat beneath him.

“Hey! That’s so unfair,” Ryan managed with his mouth full. “It’s too easy to push me down.”

He didn’t fight though and Liam slowly laid down on his side, watching Ryan’s face, which didn’t look pale anymore in the warm afternoon glow. “Love’s not fair.”

And then the phone rang. The
fucking
phone rang and Ryan fished it out of his pocket, his eyes lighting up as if someone told him he could walk again. “It’s Stuart!”

Liam felt as if that fucking phone slapped him in the face. He wanted to say something, but the sheer joy in Ryan’s eyes shut him up. He rolled onto his back, trying to regain control over his breathing.

“Nothing much. I’m sitting at the beach.” Ryan winked at him, as he spoke into the phone. “Liam made some food. You know, why not, sure. You’ll find it with no problems. It’s a massive house.”

Liam felt an unpleasant twitch in his chest. Why did he keep fucking up? He kept pushing Ryan to date someone, which meant he was the only one responsible for his own misery. And Ryan seemed to have fallen for the guy already. It wasn’t like Liam could change his mind now, especially with all the hetero bullshit he’d been feeding Ryan for the last month.

“Okay, fantastic. Can’t wait for our second date.” Ryan kissed the air, before finishing the conversation with some more goodbyes.

Liam squeezed his mouth shut and just laid there with his eyes closed. Maybe if he pretended to be asleep, he could have some peace to think. Ryan didn’t seem to care though and tugged at his arm.

“He’s coming over. Liam, do you think I should get a t-shirt or is it fine if I just have the wetsuit, since we’re on the beach?”

“Get a t-shirt.” It came out as a growl and Liam practically winced, opening his eyes to look at Ryan.

“Will you get me that ‘Boy Toy’ one? It’s in my wardrobe.” Ryan poked his stomach.

“Isn’t that too forward?” Liam swallowed, looking into that cute, open face. He was such a villain.

Ryan’s face fell and he sat up after a brief struggle. “Oh, my God. You think? Which one should I take then? I want him to think I’m sexy, but not slutty.”

Liam chuckled and crawled off the blanket to distance himself from Ryan’s warm body. “One of the Iron Lung ones?”

“Yeah. Bring me that one with the zombie unicorn.” Ryan played around with the ring in his lip.

It took Liam far longer than it should. He was such an ass to sabotage Ryan’s newfound... was it a ‘relationship’? Certainly not. He was dating. Ryan could be dating
him
.
Fuck
.

Ryan pulled on the t-shirt and looked up, his eyes searching for approval. “Is it alright? You sure?”

Liam cleared his throat, looking down into Ryan’s big blue eyes. He needed a drink. “Of course it is.“

Ryan’s phone buzzed and as soon as he picked it up, he got all fidgety. “He’s here. Will you get him from the front door?”

Liam bit his lip and shifted his weight to one side. “Just... you know... don’t rush it...”

Ryan frowned. “What do you mean ‘don’t rush it’? You nudged me to get laid for the past month. Seriously!”

Liam scratched his head, deflated. “I mean... you know... I have this weird feeling in my gut. Just...” He didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t like he could suddenly tell Ryan that he was the one he should be fucking.

“I’m not gonna fuck him today, I think. Just get him down here.” He pointed to the house in a demanding gesture.

Liam didn’t take another look at him and slowly made his way off the beach and towards the house like a scolded kid. In the small parking space within the hotel grounds stood an old Mustang and leaning against its side was Stuart. Fucking klutz who couldn’t keep a coffee cup straight.

The man smiled at him though and greeted him with an outstretched hand. He was proper looking as usual, with a white shirt tucked into a pair of nicely fitted beige pants.
Fucking
beige.

“Hi there.”

“Hi. Ryan’s back at the beach.” Liam tried to control his temper, but from the way Stuart’s eyes narrowed, he knew that he wasn't handling his frustration all that well.

“You left him alone?” Stuart raised his eyebrows. “What if a wave came?”

Liam shot him a stare of disbelief. “Why, is a tsunami coming?”

Stuart went silent and put his hands in his pockets. He looked like he was fighting a battle in his head. “Okay, nevermind. You’re his caretaker so, I wanted to ask you something. You know, it’s embarrassing to just ask a disabled person straight up...”

“What?”
Okay, that came out a little stiff.

Stuart cleared his throat. “With his type of injury... You would probably know. Does he actually have feeling in his... uhm... hips?” He whispered the last word as if it was something dirty. Liam, who had already readied himself to walk into the hotel, slowly turned his body to face Stuart. What was wrong with this guy? Was he a thirty year old virgin, or something?

“No.” It rolled off his tongue like a dog let loose off its chain and though it was wrong to lie, Liam didn’t feel even one bit sorry. This guy didn’t deserve Ryan’s company.

“Oh.” Stuart let out a long sigh and wouldn't meet his gaze. Liam didn't even notice when his legs took him back to the beach, alongside Stuart, who shook his head with a slight frown.

“Poor guy.”

“Yes. Just so it’s clear: I’m going to rip your balls off if you hurt him.” Liam shot him the meanest look he could muster.
There, this should send the sissy expat where he belongs.

But Stuart just furrowed his eyebrows, without even a trace of worry on his face. “What’s your deal? I’ll take care of him. I’ve dated a wheelchair user before. I know how to treat someone right.”

Liam gritted his teeth, hands balling into fists by his side. “Oh, did you? And you work where? In a SCI rehabilitation unit?”

“I actually set up some of their software, so I got to meet a few people there. Some paraplegics can be hypersensitive, or intercourse can be painful, so I want to know up front.” Stuart stopped to look into Liam’s eyes.

“Told you he doesn’t feel a thing.” Liam felt bile rising in his throat. He was going to be fucking sick.

“I don’t understand. What are you trying to suggest? I got it the first time.”

“I’m not suggesting anything. He’s waiting for you at the beach. Have fun, jeez!” Liam turned on his heel, quickly walking back to the house. His whole body was pulsing with rage.

Stuart didn’t waste time answering, so, once again, Liam was alone with his thoughts. How could it even happen that the guy was now dating a second paraplegic? Nothing wrong with that, but it wasn’t that easy to meet a cute, gay disabled person with whom you got along well, simply because there weren’t that many. There was something fishy about Stuart, and Liam knew that it wasn’t just jealousy talking.

He ran upstairs and sat on the balcony he shared with Ryan. It offered a great view of the beach, but what Liam saw wasn’t postcard material. In fact, the person who’d dare send Liam a postcard of this would lose his teeth. Stuart was pouring wine into glasses and Ryan leaned against him with a wide smile. They were chatting, enjoying themselves and all that, while Liam was stuck alone on the balcony. Life was not fair! It was
his
wine! And
his
cookies, and even
his
damn blanket! What the actual fuck?

If that weren’t bad enough, Cole chose this particular moment to finally return the call. Liam looked at his cell with a heaving chest, but in the end, he picked up the call. “Hi, Cole.”

“She said ‘yes’!” his brother exclaimed. “I was so stressed I almost got diarrhea.”

“Thanks for that mental image.” Liam could hardly be happy for Cole at this point. It wasn’t much of a surprise too. If Lindsay didn’t want Cole, she wouldn’t have lived with him for the last three years.

“You’re welcome.” Cole's laugh carried a malicious undertone. “You kept calling me all day though. What’s up? Is the ‘I wanna fuck my boss’ helpline needed?”

“Fuck you, Cole!” Liam slapped the metal railing in front of him. “The problem’s that my boss is about to fuck someone else.”

“Shouldn’t that be a good thing? Take your mind off of him?”

Liam gritted his teeth again, when he heard a squeal from the beach and his blood boiled when he saw Stuart carrying Ryan into the sea. Their shirtless chests were pressed close together, in a way Liam never got to touch Ryan, who looked so happy with the wind tangling his blue hair and a smile on his face. “Oh fuck me...”