Spellbound (the Spellbound Series Book 1) (24 page)

“Best for everyone involved?” Alyssa is on her feet now, her voice rising in volume. “Do you have any idea what I went through because of you?”

“Lidia took good care of you-“

“She died, Mom! She died, and I didn’t want to end up in a foster home with some sicko that fondles little girls, so I hit the streets with barely any money to my name! I went weeks without a proper meal, and if you think I was fucked up before, you can’t imagine how bad I got when I was dying in the gutter. All because
you
couldn’t handle me.”

“I-“

“No, fuck you! You couldn’t take me to a psychiatrist, or do some research of your own? Of course not, because it wouldn’t benefit you. When your kid has problems, you don’t just give up on them! Would you have done the same thing to Louis?”

“Well-“

“Of course not, because he was the perfect little fucking child, and he got everything he ever wanted. While I was just a tumor on the back of your perfect little family. Isn’t that right, Mom?”

Vera lets her gaze drop to the carpet in front of her, her lips pursed tightly. When she finally speaks, she says, “It’s not that simple, Alyssa. It never is.”

“Then tell me, how was it?”

“The truth is, I’m not the world’s greatest mom. Not even close. I never thought I could handle more than one kid at a time, and you weren’t even planned to begin with. I loved you, but I wasn’t prepared for the challenge of raising you. So even if I had kept you, you would have been miserable.”

“Maybe. But I also would have had a family. And I think that’s one of the few things that everyone deserves.”

“I wish I could believe that.” Vera stands, and pulls open the door. “You got the answers you were looking for. Now I think it’s time for you and your friend to go.”

This doesn’t seem like the kind of reunion Alyssa expected; she stares at her mother in disbelief, frozen in place. I however, can’t bear to stay in this house any longer than I need to. I grab Alyssa by the hand, locking my fingers between hers, and pull her towards the exit. As we pass by Vera, I mutter, “I’m her girlfriend, by the way,” and I’m rewarded by the faintest sigh of disgust escaping her lips as we leave the house. I keep Alyssa’s hand in mine until long after we hear the door close behind us.

***

We walk back to the beach just past the train station. Alyssa sits in the sand, with her knees drawn up to her chest, while I stand barefoot in the wet sand, staring out at the water. I can tell she needs a friend right now, but I can’t think of a thing to say. Thankfully, she’s the one that speaks first. “You didn’t have to do that.”

I turn around to face her, and say, “You asked me to.”

“I meant the girlfriend thing… that wasn’t necessary.”

“She was pissing me off, so I said something that I thought would get under her skin. That’s all.”

Alyssa stares down at the sand, and says, “That woman doesn’t deserve to know anything about me.”

“I think you turned out pretty alright without her.” I walk up the beach, and take a seat next to Alyssa, wiping sand off the soles of my feet. “You’re brave, you’re caring, tough, and smart, and as an added bonus, you’re pretty good looking as well-“

“Heather, stop.”

“What?”

“…What am I to you?”

I look over at Alyssa, who’s watching me with such intensity that I’m almost scared to answer. I still don’t know
what
my exact feelings for her are, but I know that as long as Nick’s around, I can’t afford to explore them any further. So I take a deep breath, and tell her, “You’re my friend.”

“So, when you kissed me…”

“It was to bring you back to your senses. And I’ll admit, for a while there, I was… confused. Still am, but… if there’s a time and place for us, it isn’t here or now. I’m sorry.”

Alyssa nods, and stares out at the water. She doesn’t seem like one to cry, but she wipes away a single tear before asking, “Do you have any idea how hard it is to be just your friend?”

“I’m sorry… but right now, that’s all I have to give.”

“Okay.” Alyssa stands up, wrapping her arms around herself. “I guess we should head back, huh?”

“Yeah.” I push myself onto my feet as well, and follow Alyssa back to the train station. She doesn’t seem willing to talk, so the ride home is entirely silent. When the time comes to go our separate ways at Penn Station, I try to offer her a hug, but Alyssa gently pushes me away, shaking her head. Instead, she turns, and slips into the middle of a crowd of people, before vanishing into thin air.

Chapter 26

They say being heartbroken sucks, but being the heartbreaker isn’t exactly the best feeling either. At least, not in my case. Alyssa seems to have fallen off the face of the Earth, or rather, refuses to set foot on the tiny part of it that I inhabit. To make matters worse, she doesn’t own a cell phone, and can’t be found on Facebook, so I have no way of getting in contact with her. I miss her, and not just because she’d promised to help me out. I care about her more than I realized, making her absence all the more noticeable. Which is strange, because until recently, Alyssa and I barely interacted beyond glancing at each other from opposite sides of the cafeteria, not saying a word to each other. I let a week pass by without so much as a glimpse of her before going through with what I’d originally planned to do; going to the police for help.

Unfortunately, the only available officer at the precinct is about the least helpful person I’ve ever encountered. I give him all the information I can about Rachel’s disappearance, but he refuses to file a missing persons report.

Me: “What’s so hard about helping me find my friend?”

Officer: “Do you know how many false alarms we get per year? Some kids commit suicide, and it takes a while to find their body. Some kids run away, and their parents file a report, but avoid telling anyone because they’re ashamed. And then, there are kids that just get wasted and wind up somewhere in Jersey. If it makes you feel any better, I’m guessing your friend is in with the last group.”

Me: “But she hasn’t been seen in two weeks!”

Officer: “That’s a shame, it really is. But there’s nothing I can do. I’m not a detective, but even I know that by now, your friend’s trail is probably cold.”

Me: “You’re such an optimist. How have you not been fired?”

Officer: “Years of practice. You should head home, and relax. I’m sure your friend will be back soon.”

My tax dollars at work. Not that I’ve ever actually done my taxes, but still.

Nick calls me later that night, after I’ve had time to calm down, and I tell him about my experience at the precinct. I’m not about to let the story bring down my mood again, so I choose to make it funny, doing my best to imitate the officer’s voice. That gets a laugh out of Nick, who agrees that it would be my luck to run into the worst cop in the city. But he also reasons that the officer had a point, despite his impeccable doucheyness. Rachel went missing over two weeks ago, meaning that even if there had been evidence of foul play, it’s probably long gone. I let out a groan of despair; this means that Alyssa might actually be my only hope of finding Rachel, and I’m not even sure if she’ll ever want to see me again.

Of course, I can’t tell Nick that part. He still has no idea who Alyssa is, or that she means anything to me. I’m scared that if I acknowledge her existence around him at all, I’ll just keep talking and let it slip that I kissed her. Nick’s a pretty understanding guy, but I’m pretty sure that he would be pissed if he knew. I can already feel my guilt starting to bog me down, so I try to remind myself that I only did it to help out my friend.

I must have been quiet a little too long, because I’m drawn back into the present by the sound of Nick asking, “Are you there?”

“Yeah, sorry. Just thinking, that’s all.”

“It’s alright. Say, do you wanna do something tomorrow?”

“Something like…?”

“I don’t know. Walk around, window shop, just talk.”

For just a split second, I’m not sure how to answer. I remember that Krystal told me to lay low, and I have been for the most part. Then again, none of Selene’s followers came after me when I traveled to Long Island with Alyssa, and I do really miss Nick. Besides, the more time goes by, the more I get the feeling that I’ll be alright if I venture outside. In the end, I tell him, “I’d like that. A lot, actually.”

“Great! I’ll pick you up after school then,” he says, and I can tell he’s smiling just by the way his voice sounds. Somehow, it brings a smile to my lips as well. The first one I’ve allowed all day.

We talk for a while longer, until my eyelids begin to droop. Exhaustion slowly spreads through me, until Nick can hear it on my voice, and graciously lets me go to sleep. It’s become a habit of ours to blow kisses into the phone instead of saying a verbal goodnight, so when I hear his, I blow one of my own. A few seconds later, the line goes dead, and I let the phone rest by my head as I lie back and concede defeat in my losing battle with consciousness.

***

It takes even more of an effort than usual to roll out of bed in the morning. Try as I might, I can’t ignore my alarm, though, so I shuffle my way down the stairs to the kitchen, wondering in my hungry, semiconscious state if this is what it feels like to be a zombie. Surprisingly, the whole family isn’t sitting at the table, eating and drinking their morning coffee. Only Jenna and her baby brother can be seen, the former tending to a smoking pan of scrambled eggs by the stove. I take one of the empty seats at the table, and fight back a yawn before asking, “Where are your parents? They’re usually the first ones down here.”

Jenna answers over her shoulder, “They’re out working late. Or early. Good morning to you too, by the way.”

“Morning.” I wave hello to little Mikey, but he gives me the same curious stare as always. I decided to forgive him for our first breakfast together, but things are still a little frosty between us. I doubt that I’ll ever be able to salvage my relationship with this particular baby.

While Jenna puts the finishing touches on breakfast, I lay my head on the table, desperately wishing it were softer. A stack of papers near the edge of the table catches my eye, and I pick up a sheet to get a closer look. The page features a black and white picture of Rachel, followed by her name, her age, and promises of cash rewards if someone calls the listed numbers with information on her. Jenna notices me reading the flyer, and asks, “What do you think?”

“Honestly? I’m wondering why I didn’t think of this.”

“I figured she would have called or something by now,” Jenna explains, “but there’s been total radio silence ever since we hung out. So I went to the precinct by our school last night, and the asstard at the desk wasn’t helping me at all, so I came back here and spent all night making and printing flyers. I’m gonna put them up later tonight.”

“Jenna, you’re brilliant.”

“You’re only saying that because I made breakfast.”

“No, I mean it.” And I do. I’ve been so busy worrying about Rachel and my own personal problems, that I almost forgot that Jenna is Rachel’s friend too.

Jenna shrugs, and hands me a plate of scrambled eggs. “You wouldn’t think so if you knew me better,” she says as she takes the seat across from me.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

She shakes her head, and starts eating, so I try to do the same. For all the wild things that are known to come out of Jenna’s mouth, it’s nearly impossible to figure out what actually goes on in her mind. She asks if I can help her put up the flyers later, but I can’t, since I’m supposed to see Nick after school. She nods understandingly, and says, “Don’t stay out too late. Crazy shit can happen during the full moon.”

“You actually believe in that?”

“After the things I’ve seen in the last few months? Yeah.” Jenna looks like she wants to say more, but she refrains, and I know better than to ask. I’m getting the same feeling I got with Rachel months ago, that she knows more than she’s letting on. If she does, then she’s keeping it to herself, and probably for good reason.

Something about our conversation leaves me with a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach, though, and it isn’t until well after breakfast that I realize what the problem is; I’m beginning to wonder if there’s anyone in my life that’s actually completely normal.

***

As it gets closer and closer to the end of Biology, my last class of the day, I begin to suspect that the clock is gradually slowing down. It isn’t helping that my teacher is droning on like Ben Stein, and not in the good way, because let’s be honest, the monotone thing
only works for Ben Stein
. Usually, I barely notice either issue because I’m buried in the pages of a book. At long last, the bell rings, and the class lets out a collective sigh of relief; it seems I wasn’t the only one suffering as a result of Ms. Lancaster’s monotone.

I spot Nick waiting for me outside the main entrance, and make a beeline for him, wrapping my arms around his middle the moment I get the chance. He embraces me just as tightly, and we stand there for a moment, enjoying the fact that we’re actually together for the first time in weeks. I can’t tell which of us lets go first, but I do notice it doesn’t take long for Nick’s fingers to find and wrap around mine. Without saying a word, we both turn to walk downtown, and set off at an easy pace, away from the stream of teenagers gushing through the doors behind me.

We take turns talking about how our respective days went, only to discover that they’ve both been mostly uneventful. Nick’s been at home, watching movies with Krystal, who’s been too paranoid to even leave the house since we last spoke. I, on the other hand, have spent my day sitting in various desks, attempting to retain any and all information thrown at me with a low success rate. We almost walk right by a Barnes and Noble, but Nick says he wants to browse around inside. We separate briefly to pass through the revolving door, but our hands find each other again as we head up the escalator.

The store is unsurprisingly busy, but Nick steers us away from the more densely populated shelves, toward the Art section. “Landon’s birthday is coming up,” he says, “so I figured I could buy him a book full of selections from his favorite artists.”