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Authors: Holly O'Dell

Tags: #Romance, #Contemporary

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BOOK: Spin Control
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My heart resumed its incessant pounding. This was
it. This was the crucial step I needed to make. It's what
I had been working toward since I'd moved to New
York six years earlier after a short-lived tenure in hell covering weekly city council meetings for a small, suburban newspaper on the outskirts of Kansas City. Unfortunately, after the move it took me two years of
additional hell, Manhattan-style, to find Gwen, but I
found her. And I had jockeyed for position with the others my age, working my way up the food chain, slavering over the idea of running a business of my own
some day.

Now Gwen was offering me what could be the most
professionally and financially lucrative proposal I had
ever gotten. If only I could get the position by marketing Gucci handbags!

I took the bait, perhaps a little too quickly. Certainly
no self-respecting career goddess would let a chintzy
ex-boyfriend push her off the path to success, would
she? This is what I want, I repeated.

So why was a nagging feeling tugging deep within
me?

I couldn't rely on my gut instincts anymore, as they
often were just veiled paranoia. For now, I had to be a
researcher, observing her subjects objectively. The
self-affirmation litany began: I am a skilled public relations representative assigned to the most crucial project
of my career. I am a skilled public relations representative who, so help me Higher Power, is going to have to
come face to face tomorrow with the man who-

Okay, maybe self-affirmations were overrated. Just
faking it sounded good.

I eyed Gwen eyeing me, curiosity overtaking her face.
I gave Gwen what surely was my most winsome smile.
"Thanks for the offer. You're right, I should be able to handle a job like this." I should. I would. And I saw it in
my mind's eye, the perfect execution, and myself several
months later, sitting in this chair ready to sign the appropriate paperwork indicating that I was a partner.

"There's my girl!" Gwen almost leapt. "I was worried there for a while."

I rose and walked toward the door. "No need to
worry. I'm going to catch up with Michael."

`By the way, Kate" I pivoted to face Gwen. "Devin
Underhill is only a New York celebrity-not internationally known, but suitable to be auctioned off as an
eligible bachelor at a fundraiser in SoHo" Gwen
paused. "What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't be
intimidated by his quasi-celebrity status"

I gave a halfhearted nod. If only Gwen knew that his
place on the social ladder was the least of my concerns
with Devin.

 

I
feel like I'm in junior high," I said, hypnotically
pushing around the red-curry chicken on my plate. "It's
been two years, and we only dated for six months, yet
one mention of his name and pfft, I unravel faster than
a predictable plot. I almost feel like a fraud. I claim to
be this strong, independent, urban woman, but listening
to myself makes me want to gag"

Anna vehemently shook her head, her long, loose,
enviable red curls bouncing vibrantly. "You are strong,
independent, and urban. You're also human. Welcome
to the masses."

In work, I knew I could command a room full of executives. In love, however, I crumpled when a man
dumped me. "So why can't I transform myself?"

"Quit acting like there's something wrong with you!
Men break our hearts" She folded her arms across her
tiny black T-shirt, which simply stated Nerds Rule.

"We cry and watch soppy movies and eat Ben &
Jerry's until we can't see. That's life. Sometimes it
takes longer than we like to admit. Granted two years is
a little long, but hey, who am I to judge? We both know
how I am in the relationship world."

"Speaking of relationship worlds, how's Tommy? I
haven't heard you talk about him in a few weeks" Her
guilty look was a dead giveaway. "Uh-oh. Is it time for
another soul-cleansing trip?"

When it came to dating, Anna was the opposite of
me-and most women our age, apparently. She enjoyed the breakup more than the hookup. Whenever she
ended a relationship (and she was always the one who
ended it), she took a vacation to "cleanse the soul"
Then she got right back into the scene, anxiously awaiting her next trip-um, relationship.

Anna tried for penitent but quickly slipped into mischief, green eyes flashing. "I can't help it! We're just
too similar, and blech, who wants that? So I think we're
going to have a little talk tonight."

I rolled my eyes. "If only it were that simple for me.
You know, it's not like I've been pining for Devin or
anything ... I've simply blocked him out."

"That's exactly your problem" Anna pointed her
fork at me for emphasis. "You never processed any of
this stuff so he's taken on this godlike thing for you.
And now here you sit, totally stressed over seeing him
after two years. Sooner or later, you've got to deal with
it, sweetie."

"I know," I muttered.

"You realize that you were basically offered a part nership in the firm today, right? I can't help but wonder
if you're trying to sabotage yourself."

"I see that your bachelor's in psychology really does
come in handy once in a while." Anna and I both graduated from the University of Missouri. Fortunately,
Anna had disliked her temp job as an envelope stuffer
post-graduation as much as I'd abhorred my job in
birdcage-liner hell, and after only one week of scheming, we agreed to move immediately to New York City
in pursuit of the glamorous dream we had seen in
dozens of movies. Silly us.

Anna had worked odd jobs all over Manhattan for
the past six years but finally found her niche as a
makeup artist for off-Broadway plays. Although she
enjoyed analyzing all the has-beens and wannabes of
the New York theater scene, she saved her best psychoanalysis for me.

"I wouldn't label this as psychology. It's tough love."

"Tough love? Well, you're really gonna pull out the
tough love now, because I have a confession." I
paused. "I sometimes still listen to the sad rejected-girl
CD I made"

"Girl, Dumped"? Anna shook her head. "I should
have tossed that CD onto the subway tracks when I had
the chance. I mean, `Always on My Mind' by Willie
Nelson? `Even Now' by Barry Manilow? `Sad Songs
Say So Much' by Elton John? Good god, girl. I said it
then, and I'll say it now. If you're going to grieve, at
least pick something a little more modern"

It was this tough love that Anna often had to implement the first few months after the breakup. Now she leaned across the table, pushing away her plate of halfeaten pineapple fried rice. "You know what, Kate?
You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.
What did you lose, 10 pounds after you broke up with
that bastard? Got a promotion? You taught community
ed classes, for god's sake. You had the chance to explore who you are and not let some guy's rejection dictate that"

"Sure, and let's count all the dates I've had since then"

"What do you mean? I've tried to set you up"

"Yeah, with either your gay actor friends or their
freaky directors."

Perplexed, Anna looked up at the ceiling. Even she
couldn't remember the last date I had. "Oh, wait! What
about that blind date you had? The scientist guy?"

Oh yeah, the blind date. The blind date who just happened to make reservations at Balthazar, the restaurant
where Devin and I went for our first date.

This was my life. Thousands of restaurants in this
darn city, and this was the one Mr. Blind Date picked. It
was destined to be a tragicomedy, and a miserably boring one, at that. He might have been a chemist, but the
chemistry between us was pathetic. He droned on about
his latest project at the lab and I gave myself credit for
managing a polite nod, just like a good Midwestern girl
is taught to do. The worst part was I couldn't help but
scan the restaurant for Devin.

And he was there.

Okay, not him, but his cologne, which I inhaled when
a patron wearing Devin's signature scent passed by the
table. Instantly, my eyes went into leak mode. When the tears started splashing on my braised lamb, I knew I had
to do something. Without explanation, I fled to the bathroom. Fifteen or twenty minutes later, after the worst of
the tears was over and the puffiness had diminished
enough to accept as passable, I returned to the table.

Only to find a credit-card receipt and a note that
read, "Sorry I left but I cant date some one who has undelt with issues."

How perfect-getting a kiss-off note from an illiterate. It was meant to be, then, because I couldn't date
someone who couldn't spell or hyphenate properly.

I shook my head, attempting to rid it of the debilitating
tale. "Dating just isn't something I do very well. I think
you need to be genetically programmed or something.
And Devin definitely isn't in the cards. So what do I do?"

Anna tucked a renegade curl behind her ear. "Kate,
listen to me. Being on this project is the best thing that
could happen to you. It'll be liberating. You haven't
seen him in two years." She laughed. "He is going to be
putty in your hands. His dad is hiring you to publicly
babysit him. It's humiliating! You're in control here.
Frankly, you've always been in control. Maybe now is
the time to start admitting it."

"How do you always know what to say?"

Anna shrugged. "It's what keeps me mysterious."

I smiled and checked my watch. "Well, I have quite
the afternoon and evening ahead of me. Michael and I
are getting together tonight to come up with something
to present to Devin and his dad"

Anna's eyes widened. "Michael? Cute California
Michael?"

I snorted. She had seen him briefly a few months ago
when she paid me an office visit; only she could think
of Mr. Stiff as cute. "More like Socially Awkward California Michael. Yeah, he stopped me on my way out
the door to meet you and reminded me that the only
way we'll meet our deadline is by working tonight. And
since I don't want to die of boredom at his house, I told
him to stop by my place."

"Oh, come on. Aren't you just a little attracted to
him? That sunkissed brown hair?"

"Highlights," I offered.

"And he has those gorgeous hazel eyes"

"Contacts, I'm sure"

"And that nice, straight jawline"

"Plastic surgery, probably"

Anna pointed at me. "Admit it! You noticed."

"Doy, I'm not blind. He's just not my type, and besides, he's kind of stilted anyway"

Anna looked at me speculatively. "Girl, this could be
the antidote you've been waiting for."

"Look at me. I am in no shape to enjoy his company
while I figure out how to remake the image of an exboyfriend. And like I just said, he's a little uptight for
my taste"

"Then you have another project on your handsloosen that boy up!" Anna winked.

My eyes frantically scanned the Thai restaurant. I
hushed Anna, but that didn't stop the dicey commentary.

"What, you worried that someone you've never met
might have heard me? Maybe a little lovin' is what you
and Michael both need," she chortled.

I slid down my chair, though that certainly didn't
hide my burning face.

"You're just as uptight as he is! In all seriousness,
Kate, there are a lot of women throughout the country
who would die to give their exes a personality makeover."

I raised my eyebrows. "Lucky me."

 

The last thing I wanted to do was pore over press
clippings from the last five years that illustrated
Devin's womanizing ways. Interestingly, there was a
gap in 2004 when we dated. Devin had shielded me
from the spotlight. He had said he was protecting me
from the media glare, but a pessimistic voice deep
within my subconscious told me that he didn't want us
to be seen together. Whenever I brought it up with him,
he'd dismiss me. "Quit being ridiculous," he would
whisper in my ear. "Besides, you're too sweet to be under gossip-hound scrutiny."

One picture of us had found its way into New York
magazine, however, and I kept the clipping folded up in
my dictionary on the page with the word mystery. I had
attended a multiple sclerosis benefit with Devin. Under
the picture read the caption, "Devin Underhill, vice president of Hotel Bella, Inc., with an unidentified
guest."

BOOK: Spin Control
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ads

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