Supernatural Abundance: A Journey To The Father's House (3 page)

BOOK: Supernatural Abundance: A Journey To The Father's House
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Adam had known this, of course. Lately, he had spent most of his days worrying about it. But what he hadn't known was that his Father had been keeping notes the entire time. At each place where the graph dipped close to, or sometimes well below the red line, his Father had jotted down a little note.
 

I should give Adam a call. I'll send him a letter. Maybe I'll speak with the bank. I'll try and visit again. Each was different, but every dip in Adam's finances was paired with at least one of the small handwritten notes. Adam thought back for a moment. He had thrown away dozens of letters, stopped answering the phone entirely, and slammed the door in his Father’s face on more than one occasion, but he had never realized the timing of these regular visits and messages.

Maybe it was because so much of his time had been spent fretting over the fate of the business, or maybe it was because of all the anger he felt toward his Father. But Adam had never seen these attempted calls and visits as a helping hand. Taking advice would mean that he couldn't figure it out himself. Calling in favors would be like cheating at a game of cards, and cashing the checks his Father sent would have felt like signing a contract that said, "You couldn't do it on your own, Adam."

A small spot of water appeared on the ledger, blurring some of the ink on one of his Father's notes. Then another drop appeared, and another. Adam realized that tears were dripping from the tip of his nose.

"
I wanted to show Him that I could do it myself,
" Adam said, wiping is face. "
I grew up around the signs of my Father's success. Everything He did was great. I wanted to show Him that I could do it on my own.
"

"
Oh Adam!
" Howard leaned forward and looked him strait in the eyes, "
You can't show him what He's already seen.
"

He gave a small involuntary headshake, "
What?
"

"
Do you remember the last time you and your Father were in this room together?
"

Adam thought. He must have been in his late teens. It was a sunny day like this one. He knew this because he remembered feeling the warmth of the sun coming through the tall windows. His Father was sitting at the desk, while Adam stood at His side, looking over His shoulder. Together they were going over the ledger for his Father's fields and cattle. They were discussing the amount of feed that would be needed for the month, and how best to distribute the labor between his Father’s many workers. It was a simple memory. Adam remembered nothing particularly special about that day, though it was one of the last happy moments that he and his Father had spent together.

"
We were going over the ledger for the farm,
" Adam said, looking at the old caretaker. "
Just business as usual.
"

"
Indeed,
" Howard said with a smile. "
And why, may I ask, do you think your Father would invite you in on His 'business as usual?'
"

This made Adam pause. His Father had always talked about how He went about His business. He enjoyed input, advice, and opinions. Wasn't that normal?

Howard continued before Adam could answer, "
You were assigning all the shifts for the fields by the time you were sixteen. Your Father had you setting the prices for half His exports by seventeen. Just a few more years and you would have been running His entire farm.
"

Adam still remained silent.

"
You didn't have to show Him that you could do anything on your own because He already knew.
" The old caretaker took in a deep breath, "
He trusts you, Adam. He always has.
"

Adam could feel tears beginning to form at the corners of his eyes again. He looked back at the ledger on the desk in front of him. So many little notes. So many moments when his Father wanted to come and help him get back on his feet. He had forgotten how much he had been put in charge of when he was young. His Father would pop in from time to time, making suggestions and asking questions. At the time, it hadn't occurred to Adam that his Father probably knew how to run the farm much better than he did. His Father had shown so much restraint, letting Adam make mistakes and find solutions. Always guiding, while allowing Adam to lead. That was how it had always been.

"
I suppose I should have returned His trust, right Howard?
"

The old caretaker tilted his head.

Adam stood up and took a few steps toward the windows, "
He never took over after He put me in charge of the fields. He let me run them the way I wanted. Why didn't I trust Him to let me find success on my own?
"

Howard stood up and laughed, "
You read the words every time you enter this room. It's why your Father wrote them over the door.
"

Adam remembered the mantra etched over the entrance to the study Your Attitude Determines Your Outlook.

"
Your Father is nothing if not a teacher.
" Howard continued, "
He teaches with everything He does … the writing over the door, embossing the word attitude on the key to this room. It all conveys the same message: You can see this world and the people in it many different ways, but you will never see them rightly unless you have the right attitude.
"

Adam looked back at the ledger, remembering all the times his Father had told him the same thing. Seeing the complete record of his struggles, it made a lot more sense than it did when he was young.

"
Alright,
" Adam said. "
Where is He?
"

"
Where is who?
" Howard asked.

"
Where is my Father?
" Adam closed the ledger asking, "
I've seen what He has to say, now where is He?

"
Oh Adam, we've only just started. He has much more to tell you.
" The caretaker laughed and held out another sealed envelope.
 

CHAPTER FOUR

Son,

I always have and always will love you. The pain between us has made it hard for me to show my love to you. I want you to be your own man, but I don't want you to give up the connection between us. Now I want to show you some of what's been lost. Go to the place where old things are made new. I will see you soon.

Adam knew where his Father wanted him to go as soon as he finished the note. He led the way out of the study, down the hall, and out the back door.
 

The back porch was Adam's favorite place in is Father's house. It was a massive redwood deck that was built right up to the edge of the cliff that overlooked both the ocean and the fields. The endless glistening waves were paralleled by the equally endless rows of orange trees, wheat fields, and vineyards that made up his Father’s fields. Together these perfect patches of earth and ocean stretched to the horizon. Adam had never been anywhere more beautiful.

The cool air coming in from the sea was mixed with the warmth that came from the valley. His Father used to say that one could smell all the good things in the world from that spot. It felt true every time Adam stood there, even though the place now held as many painful memories as good. He lingered there for only a moment, and then turned and started down the path that ran along the cliff.
 

Adam and the old caretaker made their way around the side of the house until they came upon a small wooden building. His Father called it a shed, but in truth it was much more than that. Most of the fixtures, carvings, and statuary that adorned his Father's house came from that shed, each crafted by his Father's hand. This was also the place Adam would go whenever anything of his was broken. If his bike got a flat tire, when a toy soldier got snapped in two, or roughhousing resulted in a chair being torn to pieces, it all got put back together in that shed.

"
You know how your Father thinks.
"
 

Adam turned back and looked at Howard.

"
You haven’t hesitated for a moment after you read His clues. You know exactly where He wants you to go.
"

Adam smiled, "
Or maybe He knows how I think.
"

The shed was a building in the simplest sense. It had four walls, a lean-to roof, and a plain wooden door. Adam had once asked why his Father hadn't built a more substantial workshop, especially since he liked to build things so much. His Father had said, “
I like having beautiful things come from an ordinary place. It makes them more beautiful.

Adam tried the door, but found it locked. Not surprised, he pulled the ring of keys from his coat pocket. He knew which key would open the door, but couldn't find it. Immediately, Howard reached into his coat pocket.

"
Ah yes,
" the old caretaker said. "
I nearly forgot. Your Father asked that I not give you this key until we arrive at the shed.
" He pulled out a rough hewn iron key, "
Thought it might give a little too much of the surprise away.
"

Adam knew the key well. As soon as each child was old enough to use a hammer, Father would take them to the shed to make a key. He helped each one heat the iron and held it steady as they hammered. After the child thought the key was right, Father would dip the key in cold water and try it on the lock. If it didn't work, He would then reheat it and they would try again. Sometimes it only took a few attempts, and sometimes it took dozens.
 

Once the key finally worked, Father would give it to the child and say, "
Now you may come to the shed any time you’d like. You can build, and you can create. And now that you know it may take a few tries before your creations work, you also know that, with enough practice, you can make anything work.
"

Adam rubbed his finger over the small letter "A" that he had etched in his key so many years ago. It had taken him thirty-nine tries to get the key to work right. Father had stayed with him into the night, patiently heating and reheating the key. Offering encouragement and advice as it was needed.
 

Adam stuck his key in the lock. It took a little fiddling, but it turned and the door swung open.

The shed looked different than Adam remembered. It used to be filled with every kind of tool and building material imaginable. It used to smell like fresh cut wood and steam. Now it smelled like dust. In place of the tools and workbenches that normally adorned the walls, there were only rusted bicycles, discolored sporting equipment, and dried buckets of paint. Everything was covered in cobwebs and dust.
 

"
Howard, why is everything so…
" Adam was struck silent as his eye caught something in the middle of the pile of junk.

A portrait sat lopsided on a pile of worn out baseball gloves. It was the same size and style as the portraits that his Father used to hang in His entryway. This one depicted a girl, freckle faced with long brown hair, and a smile that was infectious even under a layer of dust.
 

"
Susanna,
" Adam said with that familiar dryness filling his mouth.

Susanna Greene came into Adam's life when he was still young. She didn't live far from his Father's house. One summer she chased a rabbit all the way from her backyard to the front field near Father's house, hoping to make it a pet. Adam was in the middle of a game of hide and seek with his brother when Susanna ran into him at full speed. Once the two realized what had happened, they spent the rest of the day chasing the rabbit together. They never did catch it, but they became best friends instantly. Susanna came over almost every day after that. Father took a liking to her straight away, saying that He'd adopt her into the family. This, of course, is something He'd say when just about anyone visited His home. He'd had the portrait made of her shortly after that.

"
You were inseparable,
" Howard said, a big grin stretched across his face.

"
I thought so too,
" Adam said, thumbing through the keys, "
But it didn't turn out that way.
"

Howard gripped him on the shoulder, "
I know it was hard.
"

"
Hard?
" Adam said, stepping away. "
She left me just as my business was falling apart. She left me alone while I was losing everything.
" He let out a few hot breaths, "
It wasn't hard. It was crushing!
"

Howard's face remained the perfect picture of peace and patience. He waited a moment and then asked, "
And why did she leave?
"

Adam felt anger try to leap out of his chest, but instead he let out a cold sigh, "
We hardly spoke near the end. I was pushing so hard. Everything was going into the business, everything I had.

"
I was going to propose,
" he rubbed the tears away before they could form. "
Just as soon as things started looking better, I was going to do it. Just as soon as I could afford a ring that was good enough.
"

The old caretaker waited to make sure that Adam was done speaking, then he said, "
Look around.
" He pointed at the old piles, "
What is all this?
"

BOOK: Supernatural Abundance: A Journey To The Father's House
11.24Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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