Tempt Me (9 page)

“Thanks, Kianna. What made you call?”

“I just wanted to hear my baby sister’s voice. Remember that.”

She hung up and left Zoe to her thoughts. There was something about Jesse, something that pulled at her. She would catch him watching her do something and it would make her insides turn to mush. The man was turning her to mush with just freaking looks.

She closed her eyes, then opened them to look at the painting. He centered her in a lot of ways. Even discussing her career, he gave her ideas on where to go, what to do. Not in a bossy kind of way. No, he just listened to her thoughts, only then giving his opinions.

She sighed again. There was no getting around it. He was really starting to mean something to her. Kianna was right. She just needed to open herself up to the possibility and maybe she would find her answer.

*  *  *  *

Jesse was trying to finish off work so he could get out the door on time. “Johnson.”

He looked up to find McWilliams standing in his doorway. Jesse wasn’t in the mood for him this afternoon. He was still on a high since his time with Zoe the night before.  

“I just got notice on some orders for you.”

It took him a second to bring his brain back down. “What?”

“Orders. You’re heading off to NATO.”

The colonel didn’t look happy about it. Of course he wasn’t. He had thought getting General Johnson’s kid working for him would help his career. If Jesse were heading off to another assignment, access to the General would be out of the question. Not that it was even on the table to begin with.  

“Are you sure?”

“You don’t look surprised.”

“My father heard some rumors that I had been put in for the job.”

“It might have been his doing.”

“No. We have a strict no intermingling with work and family thing.”

“Sure.” Although, he didn’t sound like he believed Jesse. “From what I heard, you have less than sixty days to get over there.”

“What?” he asked. That caught him off guard. Overseas orders usually came with more time for the service member to get ready. 

“They aren’t giving you a lot of time to get your affairs in order and get over there. Really, I can’t understand why they would even give it to you. With your combat experience, you would be more useful on another committee.”

But it was something he wanted. When his father had told him about the job, he had looked it up. A new committee had been formed as an outreach to countries outside of NATO. Helping avoid conflicts had become something he really wanted to do since he returned from Afghanistan. It might not help him with gaining rank, but he knew he would enjoy the work. The Colonel cleared his throat and Jesse realized he was still standing there.  

“Sorry, went off into thinking about everything that had to be done. And I have to tell my family.”

And Zoe
. Shit. He hadn’t thought about what this would mean for that relationship.  

“I think I’m going to take off now, sir, if that’s okay with you. If the job is coming down, I want to prepare my family for it.”

McWilliams nodded and headed off to his office, thankfully leaving Jesse alone. As he gathered up his things, he realized he had lost her. 

He sat down for a second to think about it. She did not want to get serious. To move to Belgium with him…that would be serious. Of course it was. He wanted to marry her. 

The moment he thought the words, he realized they were true. He had been thinking in abstract terms of staying together for a long time, but now…marriage.

And she didn’t want strings. She had been very clear about it from the beginning. If he had a little time, he could convince her differently. 

He shook his head. He was fooling himself and he couldn’t even blame her. She had been truthful from the very start. Now he had to decide if he should push her for an answer, or just walk away. He didn’t want her to hate him, didn’t want their time to be marred by a breakup. He knew he couldn’t pretend everything was okay. Maybe it made him a coward, but he couldn’t do it. It would end badly because he would come to resent her rules…and possibly her. 

With a heavy heart, he gathered up his things. Now he had to tell her he was moving across the world and to say goodbye. He could still see her up until he left. She would probably have no problem with that. But for him…it would be painful.

He wanted to remain her friend, and he couldn’t do that any other way than to walk away from the relationship. Being the one who wanted more never ended well, and it usually hurt the other person just as much. 

No, a clean break was what she needed to be happy, and that’s all he cared about.  

*  *  *  *

Zoe was humming when she heard Jesse’s car in the street. She had been enjoying the soft spring breeze through the window, so it wasn’t like she was waiting around for him. She reminded herself to take it slowly. Like Kianna had said that afternoon, give him a chance.  

It took him longer than usual to make it to the front door. By the time the bell rang, she thought she had been wrong about his car.

She went to the door and opened it smiling. It soon faded when she saw the look on Jesse’s face.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” she asked, stepping back to allow him space to step into the foyer.

He hesitated, then said, “I got orders. Well, not real orders, but they’re coming.” 

For a second, she felt something squeeze her heart painfully hard. “Oh?”

“Yeah.”

“So, where are you going? Are you going to stay on the East coast?” She mentally crossed her fingers. 

He shook his head. “Belgium.”

“Oh. Wow. Isn’t that where NATO is?”

He nodded. “It’s a great job.”

“Well, congrats.” She could barely muster that comment for him. She didn’t want to congratulate him, because he was going away from her. 

“From what I was told, I’ll have less than sixty days before I have to report.” 

Panic clawed at her throat. This was happening too fast. She had just decided to try to live with the idea of having him around and now he was leaving. 

“So, I guess you have a lot of stuff to do.”

He sighed. “Yeah. I hate to do this, but I am going to bail tonight. I need to talk to my property manager, all that stuff.”

She nodded hearing the tone in his voice. She had heard it before, every time a guy walked away. “I guess you’ll be too busy to really date.” 

He seemed to relax when she said it. Dammit, he had been coming over to break up with her and she did it for him.

“I hate to say it, but long distance isn’t the easiest, even when you are serious. And you have a whole life to get back to in Savannah.”

“Yeah. I was going to talk to you about that tonight.”

“Oh?”

“I was thinking of heading back that way. Kianna is due soon and I need to be close by.”

It was a lie. Probably the biggest one she had ever told, but she refused to lose face in front of him. It was better that he thought she had already been thinking about leaving. 

From the way his lips turned down, he wasn’t happy to hear it. “Well, I guess that’s it.” 

She nodded. “Yeah.” 

He leaned forward and brushed his mouth over her cheek. “Give me a call before you leave.”

“Sure.”

And with that, he left. She watched as he drove away then turned to head down to her room.  It had been civilized, without emotion and by the time she shut the door, tears were streaming down her face. This is what she wanted. Just a little fun. He had a career to build and she had a life to get back to. It had been exactly the way she had wanted it. 

She flopped back on the bed, the tears flowing easily now. In between her sobs, she wondered if this is what she wanted, why did she feel as if her world was falling apart? 

Because maybe she wanted him in her life more than she ever admitted to him—or herself.  She would just come off as pathetic if she ran after him now. That was one thing Zoe would not do. There was nothing else to do than to move on.  

But first, she would have a good cry and pretend her heart wasn’t breaking.

Chapter Twelve

For three days, Jesse found himself at loose ends. He went through the motions, accepted the assignment, did what needed to be done. Each day, he fought the need to call Zoe. He wanted to talk to her, hear her voice…hell, he had to fight just calling to hear her voice mail. But he hadn’t. That wouldn’t be fair to either of them. He had made a clean break and that was better for both of them. 

He was hurting, but he didn’t have anything to take his anger out on. Pain gnawed on his heart and each day it seemed to get worse. Even a call to Jack didn’t help. It ended with another discussion of his neighbor and her damned dog. So, about seven that evening Jesse decided the best thing to do was get drunk. He went to a neighborhood bar he had taken his brothers to on occasion and ordered a beer. He found himself sipping at it and brooding. 

“I heard you accepted the job,” his father said, as he settled on the stool beside him. Jesse looked around and then at his father.

“Where the hell did you come from?”

“I had a frantic call from Gee Santini. He said that his mother called him about you breaking up with Zoe.”

“We didn’t break up. We weren’t going steady. You don’t call it that anymore.” Okay, so that made him sound like a pissy teenager. “And you know I don’t really have a choice of the job. It was that or get out.”

“Then what do you call it?” his father asked. 

“Call what?”

“What you and Zoe just went through.”

He shrugged and took another swig out of his bottle.

“I call it a dumbass move on your part, but that’s just me.”

Jesse set his beer down and looked at his father. “What did you say?”

“Sorry, what I meant to say is that you’re a dumbass and you fucked it up.”

Anger surged but he batted it back. Yelling at his father never worked. It just made him freeze you out even more. It’s where he learned the technique himself.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

His father shook his head. “Yeah, what does a man who has been married know about getting a woman.” 

“You never got remarried. And why is that?”

His father sighed and a sadness Jesse had never seen before moved over his father’s expression. “I loved your mother something fierce. When she died, I was so busy juggling your brothers and your sister.” He raised his gaze to the ceiling. “She was a handful.” 

“Yeah, she was,” he said, thinking of little MJ and the way she trailed after the brothers. “But since then?”

“Seriously, I thought your mother was the best I could get.  She…well, she was a catch. Smartest woman I knew before I got a load of MJ when she was married. Looks so much like her, that one. And, the career. It took over my life.”

“But you love it.”

He nodded. “I did. But, I do have a few regrets.”

“That being?”

He looked around as the noise level started to rise when the National’s game came on. “Why don’t we go for a walk?”

He nodded and followed his father out the door. The burst of cold air reminded him he lived in Virginia and nights in May could still bite, especially this year. It sobered him a bit. 

“As I was saying, I regret a few things, main one is that you think I expect you to live your life like me.”

He stopped walking and stared at his father. “You never said that.”

His father faced him. “But people put that on you. I know they did in high school and at Annapolis. When you came into the service, you even wouldn’t let me help you with your career. You wouldn’t even let me give you advice.” 

The irritation he heard in his father’s voice struck a cord in him. Jesse had been a hard ass about that agreement and maybe he could let his father in a little. “And what advice would you give me?” 

“I would say if you want the stars, go for it. Nothing will stand in your way.  You’re a top-notch officer and you definitely earned them, and not on my name. On your own.”

A lump formed in his throat and he nodded.  

“But, if you give up that woman for the stars, you’re a dumbass.”

The comment pulled a chuckle from him. “Yeah?”

“Son, I saw the way you looked at her. You had just started dating a few weeks ago and you couldn’t take your eyes off her. I felt the same way about your mother, and I will tell you something. I would give up every commendation, every award, and every damned star on my uniform to have just one more day with your mother. She was worth it, and so is your Zoe. Don’t let that one get away from you. She’s smart and she’ll keep you on your toes. You have my support for whatever makes you happy. Just…a promise.” 

“Yeah?”

“Give me more grandbabies. One is definitely not enough.”

He turned to walk away, but Jesse stopped him. “Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“You might be a highly decorated Marine officer, but I’ve always been proud to just call you Dad.”

His father nodded and walked down the street. The weight Jesse had been carrying around for the last few days seemed to disappear with each step he took toward his townhouse. Knowing what he wanted, what he wanted to do…well, he was a Marine, and there were two things he was known for: making plans and making those plans succeed.

*  *  *  *

Jesse knocked on the front door and found himself facing a very angry Joey Santini. The smile she always offered him was nowhere to be found. 

“You have some nerve.”

“Josephina, settle down,” Papa said from behind her. “Why don’t you let the boy inside? It’s late.”

She pursed her lips. She did not look like she was going to agree with her husband, but then she stepped aside. “Let’s go in the kitchen.”

“No. There’s knives in there. Why don’t you let me handle this?”

He chuckled, but Papa shook his head. Apparently, he worried about Jesse’s life if he let Joey near a knife.

“Okay. But if he doesn’t fix this, I get a run at him.”

With that, she stomped off. Papa sighed. “Artists.”

“I hear that, Stewart.”

He said nothing about that and led Jesse into the kitchen. “Kind of late for a visit.”