Tequila And Tingles: Turtle Pine, Book 2 (9 page)

Chapter Eleven

So long as Beth kept a tight hold on the box, nobody would see her hands shaking. And by nobody, she meant Jason. There was nobody else who made her hands shake…made her tremble like her spine was hooked up to a vibrator.

She warmed all over. Perfect. A vibrator. Just the item she wanted in her mind before breaking things off with Jason. She cleared her throat. As hot as he was, she couldn’t be spending her days lusting over her daughter’s coach. She readjusted her box, straightened and marched to TPC to get this done. He liked her, she liked him. Friends forever and nothing more.

Of course, he would pick that moment to come out the front door. The sun landed on him and highlighted every last stunning feature. Oh, sweetness, he looked nice. Bet he smelled nice too. Like a chocolate chip cookie warm right out of the oven. Or brownies. Brownies were better. She blinked and studied the pavement for the rest of the trip to the front door. How could the guy not have one single undesirable thing about him? It wasn’t fair.

So much yumminess compacted into one package. Like the sun highlighting every last inch of him, down to the sparkle in his eyes and how he lifted his brows as she got near. “You’ve got that deeply troubled look back on you.”

Time to face the music. “Yeah.”

He reached toward her but then pulled back and pushed his hands in his pockets. “I figured that when you said you wanted to talk.”

And that was a conversation best had somewhere a little more private than a parking lot. She lifted the box with their lunches. “I got you a sandwich, some chips and a bottle of water. And Annie threw in a chocolate chip cookie.”

“Annie?”

“My sister-in-law.” Whom Beth would discuss things with later. No more chocolate chip cookies.

“That was nice of her. To my office?”

“Sure.”

The only thing wrong with wanting somewhere alone and private to have this discussion was the big alone-and-private part. Maybe she should have asked to meet on the square. They could have occupied a park bench and whispered. Quieted down when someone walked by. Had a nice cool breeze to chill the warmth trickling over her skin. Wins all around.

Instead, she was walking into his very private office with his hand at her lower back, guiding her through the door. His large, wonderful hand with fingertips that curled in slightly and teased at the base of her spine. Hands that could have done so much with her that night if she hadn’t passed out. There went that trembling again.

She sat in one of the chairs in front of his desk and he eased on the one next to her, leaving the bigger and what looked like more comfortable leather one, that also happened to be farther away, behind his desk, empty. “I, um, wanted to talk to you about Saturday.”

“I hoped that’s what this was about. I’ve haven’t been around a lot of kids in my past, but I can’t figure out what I did wrong.”

Oh, man. She picked through the box and handed over things for him. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You were perfect, actually.” So damn perfect and likable and even a little lovable. He’d laughed and pushed Kent on the swings. Played with Katie while setting the table. There was not one time he’d come even a little close to doing something wrong.

“With the way you left, I’m not seeing how you can think that.”

“Because I’m going to pull out the biggest cliché in the book.” She put the box with her lunch in it on the floor and braced herself. “It’s not you, it’s me.”

He lifted a brow. “Everybody’s favorite phrase.”

“I know.” Oh boy. This was harder than she thought. A plan would be nice right now. Or even an outline. A sketchy sort of something would be so very nice. “I’m divorced.”

He nodded. “You’ve told me. About a year, right?”

“Yes.”

He let out a long breath. “With that it’s-not-you-it’s-me talk, I thought you were about to say you got divorced last month and I misunderstood before.”

“Oh, no.” She chuckled and found her appetite again. He was so good at putting her at ease even though her nerves were frayed. “That night we met never would have happened if it had been that soon. And my divorce isn’t the only reason why, it’s just the first part of the story. It wasn’t my choice to end my marriage.” She fished her sandwich out. Eating would be a good way of procrastinating. Couldn’t talk with food in her mouth. She picked at the edge of the white paper keeping her sandwich together but couldn’t bring herself to open it. She might as well pack this thing and eat at her desk later. Jason just patiently stared. She had to find the words. “I thought we were happy. He left.”

His brows pulled low over his gaze. “He just left?”

Exactly that, yes. He ran to town to grab a few things. He grabbed a hotel room and the girlfriend Beth hadn’t known about and never came back. Beth skipped all that, because it wasn’t important. And she didn’t know Jason well enough to dump her life story in his lap. Whether he put her at ease or not, her appetite was well and gone now at the thought of Bill. She put the sandwich aside and pushed out of the chair. “The kids didn’t understand. I didn’t understand either and couldn’t explain it.”

“I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what that was like for them.”

“Hard.” She touched her forehead. From their first breaths, Beth had known to expect tears from her kids for the rest of her life. Sobs for an assorted number of things. From being hungry to having scraped knees to having their hearts broken by someone. That person was never supposed to be their dad. It was standard that he was going to be in their corner forever. He was supposed to be the guy standing up and wiping away tears, not the one causing them. Beth had spent far too many nights hiding silent tears rolling down her cheeks as her babies slowly cried themselves to sleep in her arms. They just didn’t understand how their daddy who’d tucked them in countless nights could just leave and never come back.

Beth had never dreamed she’d want to miss a moment of her kids’ lives, but she wished she could erase those times from all their memories. Her eyes flooded with tears and she turned away from Jason and swiped them off with her thumb. He didn’t push and thankfully gave her space to compose herself. This was hard enough.

Breaking down in front of a stranger was another level of hell to add on the pile. She cleared her throat, then again a second time to ensure her voice was steady. “I wasn’t expecting them to like you so much, so fast.”

“Katie and Kent? Felt like we were just warming up.”

“You were. There was Kent falling asleep on you. You have no idea how hard it is to get that boy down for a nap.” She wrapped her arms around her middle and turned to find Jason had also abandoned his sandwich and stood a few feet away. “And Katie helping you with the picnic basket.”

She buried her face in her hands and wanted to forget that great, great memory. Those kinds of days were the ones you dreamed about when starting a family, but not starring a near stranger. She shouldn’t be having these happily-ever-after sort of visions with this guy she barely knew. “I left like I did because I got afraid my kids would become attached to you.”

He frowned. “If I said something to make it seem like I was some sort of jackass who hates kids, I didn’t mean it.”

She laughed. He was getting good at making her laugh. Also extra good about putting up with her shit, because she knew she tossed a lot of it. “You didn’t. The opposite, actually. You were so good with them. They were interacting with you and having fun.”

She flicked hair out of her face. “We used to go to the grocery store and Katie never met a stranger. I mean
never
. I could pick up cheese while the person next to me grabbed bologna, and Katie would ask them what they liked on their sandwiches. When Bill left, it shut Katie down. Kent was so much younger I don’t think he remembers his dad as a person, but you could tell he was missing something. There was a void and it affected him too. After we left the park, you were all Kent could talk about the rest of the day. Coach Jason. Coach Jason. Over and over he went. I put Katie to bed and she even asked if we would get to play with you again. She’s never done that before with someone we’ve met. All this was going on and all I could think about was what I would say to them when you leave?”

The grin that had been spreading on his face pulled back and turned to a frown. “Leave?”

She searched him. Maybe she’d misunderstood him before. But, no, he’d clearly said
if
he stayed in town, he’d come to her for a housing loan. “You said you may not be staying in Turtle Pine. You were possibly here only temporarily.”

His gaze drifted to the boxes piled in the corners around the room. The pull of his brow eased and loosened. “I hadn’t thought of it like that.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “You can’t begin to know how much I love that my kids opened up to you, because they don’t do that often. But I can’t risk them getting attached to you and then you leave. They’re so young and have already had more heartache than they deserve. I can’t risk giving them more, and that’s why this between us can’t go anywhere. I’m sorry.”

He rubbed his hands up her arms and squeezed at her shoulders. “Don’t apologize. Don’t ever apologize for protecting your kids. You’re right. I didn’t think of that being an issue.” His hands fell away from her and he swiped one of them over the top of his head. “I feel like a selfish ass.”

“Don’t.” She reached for him. She should have been working on maintaining distance, but she was missing the warmth of his hands on her shoulders. It had been so long since a man had touched her. Or at least, touched her when she could remember it. Maybe parts of her remembered how good he had been to her that night, since her head refused to cough up the memories. “Even if you were planning to stay here, I would still want to shield them from you until whatever this thing happening between us quits.”

“Quits?”

“Ends. Stops. Whatever.”

“That sounds so final.”

“What else is it supposed to sound like?”

“Not like we’re breaking up before we get together.”

She eyed him. It was this kind of stuff that made him so likable, but this just couldn’t happen. “We’re not together.”

“That’s what I’m figuring out. I just can’t figure out why.”

She shook her head. “Jason, we had a one-night stand. That’s it.”

He pointed at her. “We’ve also had two dates. Three if you count this one.”

“We haven’t had any dates.”

“We had lunch and a day at the park.”

“We had a meeting at lunch and…”

There was that grin again. “And what?”

She straightened. Oh no. They weren’t dating. She would know if they were dating. “And that day at the park was just another meeting.”

He studied her for a moment, head tipped to the side. He let out a breath, satisfied with whatever likely wrong conclusion he’d made up in his head, and returned to his seat. He leaned back. “Tell me what to do and what not to do regarding your kids and I’ll stand by your rules.”

Wait. “What?”

“I still like you, Beth. I’d still love to see you. I’d like to take you out for lunch, if we can. What can we do?”

She returned to her chair. All this pacing probably wasn’t good for a person. “Wouldn’t you be happier with someone closer to your age who doesn’t have the baggage I do?”

He covered her hand. The heat of his palm went up her arm and to her shoulder. Through the silk of her top, warmth burned to her center as he continued his path until he cupped her cheek. His thumb pulled at her lower lip. “You let me worry about what makes me happy.”

“Jason, I’m just…” She didn’t have more words to fill that space. She was just what?

Messed up. Broken. Just needing to be alone before she carted her wreck into someone else?

She fumbled for a way to finish the sentence, but she wasn’t given a chance. Jason closed the final bit of space between them and pressed his mouth to hers. Lips coaxed at hers. His fingers cupped her chin. It all opened her up, and he took the moment to deepen the kiss.

If this was how he kissed, there was no more wondering why she’d marched her drunk and happy self out of that bar that night with him. However, she wasn’t drunk this time. Even though he kissed like he could spend his afternoon getting naked, she couldn’t. An affair? Really. The heat of his skin warmed her palms. It would be so easy to say yes to something private and potentially dirty between them. Did she really want to become that woman who met up with her lover on lunch breaks? Not really.

She would tell him as much, as soon as she pulled her hands off him. If he could just quit kissing her like she was his last breath. Like his hands going around her waist weren’t grabbing at her as a lifeline. If…if…too many ifs that she really didn’t want to happen. All she wanted was for this moment to continue.

He trailed kisses to her cheek and ear as he moved in closer, between her thighs. “You can’t tell me you don’t want this.”

“I…” She still couldn’t make sensible words. Not with the make-out session.

His arm across her back was a firm, strong muscle. He pulled her hips in against him with a small tug. “You can’t tell me you want someone else when you’re here against me.”

“Jason, I…” She dug in and finally got the will to put her hands on his shoulders. She fisted her hands into his shirt and just held on instead of pushing away. She took a moment to enjoy this sensation of being craved. Of being wanted. The way he desired her was the biggest appeal of him.

And the most dangerous. She relaxed her grip on his shirt and gave that light push. “Wait.”

He ran his fingers through her hair and moved it away from her face. “I’m waiting.”

“I don’t know about this.”

“We’re in no rush.”

She looked to him and knew immediately he wasn’t talking about just right now. “I don’t know. My weekends are going to be tied up.”

He lifted a shoulder. “I work most weekends.”

“Evenings on any day will be difficult.”

“Aren’t they for everybody?”

He had an answer for everything and she was running out of lame excuses. “Lunchtime. That’s the best I can offer.” Oh my God, what had just come out of her mouth?