The Absolution of Aidan (The Syndicate Series Book 3) (8 page)

Unlike me, Aidan was raised without love. I knew he was estranged from his family, and now, after walking in here and hearing the way his mother talked to him, I know why. She’s a fucking bitch. A selfish woman. How she’s lived this long without a heart baffles the shit out of me.

What really surprises me is Aidan. I mean, I knew he wouldn’t turn his back on his responsibility. He’s proven his loyalty by coming here and protecting me. Standing by his friends’ sides. Roan and Cain are his family. Blood doesn’t mean a damn thing when it comes to choosing whom you consider family. Your heart chooses for you.

Aidan’s mother deserves none of the credit for the man he is today. There’s someone in his life who does, someone who showed him how to love. One thing is for damn certain, that fucking cow and her low-life son will have nothing to do with my child. It’s obvious they somehow know Aidan’s involvement with the mafia. I know firsthand that there is a lot of bloodshed. People die or disappear to never be heard from again. But Aidan’s not one of the ones who kills. He’s a thief, which I’m not particularly fond of, either. But this is my life. I am the daughter of one of the mafia’s attorneys. Diesel will be loved and protected. There’s danger all over this world. As much as I wish I could shield my son from it all, I can’t deny either one of them to bond like a father and his son should.

I realize now that when we first met and I kept telling myself how I hated him, that it wasn’t true. In fact, it’s so far from the truth, it scares me. I took my anger and frustration out on him the same way he took his out on me. The two of us couldn’t leave for fear of the consequences that lingered right outside my apartment door, which would even make a married couple want to claw each other’s eyeballs out.

He blames himself for not being able to help me. But I’ve never blamed him. I pray with everything I have he believed me when I told him he’s the one who saved me. He did. Even when I gave birth, I could still hear his deep voice, his words of reinforcement telling me to hang on. To not give up when all I wanted to do was scream and tell the doctors to get the baby out of me now. To stop pushing with every hard, painful contraction that ripped through my stomach. Every bit of pain I’ve been through this past year was worth it, not only because I’ve been blessed by becoming a mother, but also because of this moment right here, where I’m watching my son’s father fall in love with the greatest gift god can give to a person.

“Let’s go.” Aidan’s words snap me out of my little daydream bubble. He stands, holding his hand out for me to take.

“I hope you have more photos of him, because these are mine.” Letting go of my hand, he pulls his wallet out of his back pocket, sticking the photos inside. Instinctively, I want to snarl at him, tell him to give them back. I have plenty of photos of Diesel, that’s not the point. But those few photos are my favorites. I bite my tongue though, which is hard for me to do. He deserves to have them. He’s his son too.

“Are you all right?” Aidan shoves his wallet back in his pocket, a look of concern on his handsome face.

“I’m great. Why?” I frown, confused. Shoot, I don’t want him to think I’m upset about anything. This is a happy time, for all of us. I’m being selfish, so unlike the man standing in front of me. He doesn’t have a selfish bone in his god-blessed, candy-coated, rippling, muscled body. And there I go again, thinking about his body. I’m worse than those men who cannot seem to hold back their drool when they hit you up with those cheesy pick-up lines. Only I’m not lying or trying to pick him up. His body
is
like freshly made cotton candy. Hot, sweet, and sticky. Fuck. I need my bob-ette. Or my finger, my thumb. Right now, any extremity of my hand will do.

He scoffs. “You were very convincing a while ago when you barged in here and claimed to be my fiancée.” He lifts his brows. “But, my little sweet-tart girl, I’m very good at reading people, and I can tell that right now, you’re lying.” He looks down at me.
Sweet-tart girl? Where did that come from?

“No. I’m not,” I lie.

“Woman, you are,” he groans.

“Fine,” I may as well tell him one other thing that’s bothering me, too. I place my hands on my hips. It’s the truth, but it’s not what’s running through my mind right now. He doesn’t need to know that, though.

“I don’t want the baby anywhere near your mother.” Oh shit. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. His face is turning red. He’s angry. Surely not about what I said. He can’t stand her.

“If that cunt comes back here again, I meant what I said. I won’t think twice about having her and her little pawn vanish.” He tilts his head to the side, studying me. He’s a hard one to read at the moment. Hot then cold.

“Don’t bring her up again, Deidre. That topic is off subject. They don’t exist to me. Which reminds me, how did you know who she was?” A loud laugh escapes me. Why, I’m not sure. Maybe it’s because our conversation is playing a game of ping-pong. Back and forth we go. By the time we get to my place, we will have weeded out the entire year I was gone.

“Now, come on, big fella. I just told you I spent the better part of the last year in a treatment facility. I had a lot of time on my hands. I also needed to know more about my baby daddy.” His eyes flutter, his manner changing from mild anger to pure amusement.

“You investigated me?” He cages me in with his stare. His observation flashes down to my lips. I swallow hard. The room goes quiet. Why he chooses this precise conversation to look at me like he wants to kiss me, I have no idea. All I know is my nipples are striving like hell to have him wrap his mouth around them. My pussy tightens. Oh, no. I will never give in to this man again. He may have given me our son, and we may bond through him, but he will never fuck me with his big, pierced, beautiful cock again. Nope, no freaking way. My pussy can tuck her herself right back up. My nipples can stay flat. Neither one of them are getting what they want. All my little bitch-ette of a pussy is getting is bob-ette, the vibrator. No man is touching her again.

“Kind of,” I squeak out.

“Did you find out anything interesting in your baby daddy research?” His tone is comical. He thinks this is funny. I do not.

I place my hands on my hips, angry now. “It’s not funny. Your mother is a bitch.”

“That she is. You’re still avoiding my question, Deidre.”

“Fine,” I lift my hands in frustration. I don’t want to argue with him. “I found out where you grew up. I know you haven’t seen your family in years. When I walked up to your door, I heard everything, and I came apart. I don’t know the woman and I don’t want to. But when I heard her ask you to kill some innocent woman, I lost my shit. What kind of mother would ask her son to do such a thing?”

He shocks me completely when he lifts his hand and cups the side of my face. His touch sends a zip threw my body. I become immobile. “Very few people would have done what you did today. You stood up for me. And,” he draws out that singular word, “you seeking out about the man I am proves to me how great of a mother you are. I promise you right here, right now, Deidre, I won’t let that conniving bitch or her son anywhere near our boy. They’re long forgotten. I have a son I want to meet. She’s always hated me. When I was younger, it would tear me up. Now, I don’t care anymore. She’s harmless. All she has are her words. It’s Ryan I’m more concerned about. But I’ll handle him and make sure this woman they’re talking about is protected as well. Now, can we please go?” With that he drops his hand and my damn body misses his touch already.

***

My stomach alters restlessly. I notice my hands are gripping my steering wheel strongly. My pulse is pounding at my temples. Aidan followed me to my apartment, and now he’s walking toward my car. I’m afraid to step out for fear I may trip and fall flat on my face from how bad my legs are shaking.

Why I’m nervous about the two of them meeting beats the shit out of me. I just am. Maybe it’s because I haven’t shared Diesel with anyone else except my parents since he was born. And now, I’m not going to be the center of this little boy’s universe anymore.

“Get a damn grip, Deidre, he’s his father, for Christ sake. They need each other.” I reach over, grabbing my phone and wallet off of the passenger seat, and twist back to open my door when Aidan beats me to it, opens it, and guids me out, slipping his hand into mine.

“Hell, I’m nervous,” he blurts out. I chuckle at the irony of both of us feeling the same way.

“Don’t be. He’s a baby.” I hold back my own nerves the second I see his face when I look up and see his descending, slanting eyebrows, his downward-turned lips giving him an unnatural-looking frown.

“Would you stop?” I let go of his hand and thread my arm through his. “He’s going to love you,” I say truthfully.

I almost want to laugh at this big man who’s scared to meet his son. Aidan is dark, mysterious, and sexy as hell. God, is he sexy. I would love to be able to start licking from the tips of his toes up those muscular, meaty legs, stop and lick his big, thick cock.
Oh, for god’s sake. I might have to go see a sex therapist next. Nah. Do they make medication to tame down a woman’s aching pussy? Like a reverse Viagra pill? Get your head straight, Deidre
.

I toss my tainted desires aside, pushing forward the reason why we’re here.

Maybe, just maybe, the two of us can come to an agreement of some sorts. We took our sexual frustrations out on each other but we don’t have to live together anymore, grating down on each other’s last nerve. We’re going to be fine raising a child separately yet together as parents. There, with every step further we take, I feel better.

He’s changed over the past year. He’s still hot-tempered, well, maybe not. I don’t know. He had every right to blow his fucking gasket with his family today.

The way he handled the news I told him today, though, is solid proof he’s changed the way he feels towards me. The dickhead of a man I remember would have accused me of trapping his ass or some shit. I was expecting him to deny it. To be pissed the hell off when he saw me. Not that it was any of his business where I went or what I did with my life. But he was the exact opposite.

The ride up the elevator is quiet. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see he’s starting to sweat. There’s nothing more I can say to him. This is something he has to deal with on his own terms.

The closer we get to my floor, the more anxious I become, all nerves demolished. Happiness floats through me like a fast current. I’m happy for my boy, happy for his father, and happy for myself. If anyone would have told me a little over a year ago that I was going to be a mom, or that a one-night stand destined to happen from the moment Aidan and I set eyes on each other would be the reason for this happiness I’m feeling now, I may have either cunt-punched or dick-kicked them, sending them flying. Your life can change quickly. You blink one second, and the next someone is telling you you’re pregnant. Your life doesn’t belong to you anymore. You become a parent. Your life revolves around them and their needs. It’s the greatest feeling in the world. One you can never explain to another person unless they’re parents themselves. Which is why I don’t get the way Aidan’s mom can be so hateful to him but kiss her other son’s ass. The man gives me the fucking creeps. There’s something about the way he looks at you that has you crawling out of your skin.

“Fuck.” Aidan runs his hands through his hair, then down his face when we step off the elevator. I should be sympathetic with him, but that’s not in my nature right now. I want the memory of the two of them meeting for the first time forever etched into my mind.

I am usually quick-witted and known for having a smart mouth, but our proximity in the elevator has me steaming in between my legs, and his scent is doing me in.

I do something I never thought I would do. Something my naughty, little body has been craving since I first saw him again, and I kept resisting, smacking her upside her head. I hadn’t realized until this very moment, standing outside my door, that I’m not only physically attracted to this man, but that he’s also about to own my heart. I don’t mean in that I love him kind of way. I mean that our hearts are going to be filled to capacity by the same little person, by the bond that will never be broken between the two of us.

I swing his powerful frame around to face me. With every scrap of muscle I have, I shove him back against the wall, then get up on my tip-toes and kiss him, my hands cupping his face, my body pressing level with his.

My act of kissing coming from some unknown, uncontrollable act to calm him and myself.

Our kiss is awkward at first. Both of our eyes are open. I’m telling him with mine to give in, while he’s asking me what the fuck I am doing. When my tongue sweeps across his bottom lip, the danger spikes through his gaze and the kiss becomes inevitable. His controlling ways snap to attention.

He spins us around, his large frame trapping me against the wall. Every large part of his body smothers me in a way both shocking and desirable. Longing makes its own path into my body from his simple touch. A desire to be touched by him slices through the web of lies I’ve been telling myself for a long time. I missed him. I can’t explain why. Not now, maybe never, but I did. My body is speaking my mind for me. The depression that dampened my life while I was gone slowly dissolves as Aidan coats over my body, mind, and soul at this moment with a fire that smolders that dampness, burning me to a much-needed and wanted crisp.

My heart starts pounding, and my mouth is dry and thirsty as all hell for him. He nudges my mouth open with his tongue. I moan into his mouth. Those shaking legs are now quivering. My hands flow down to his ass. I squeeze the hard flesh into my hands. He grinds his hard dick against me. I may regret doing all this later, right now though, I’m enjoying every damn moment of the way he sucks my tongue into his mouth, releasing it, then swirling, tasting greedily. I’m left panting. My chest is heaving up and down when he steps back from me. My god, he’s a beautiful man. My hands fall stiffly to my sides.

“Fuck me. If that was your way of drawing my nervousness out of me, it worked. But what the hell do I do about this?” He points down to his dick.