The Broken H (5 page)

Shane wanted him. He’d always desired Gray in different ways, of course, but he’d always loved having the boy around. Gray had gone from being Shane’s protégé to his friend…and now his lover.

He got out of bed and checked the house. Empty. He looked out the window and saw that Gray’s truck was still there. Good. The man must have gone to the big house.

He had no idea why Gray had left his bed, but he wasn’t going to let him put distance between them again. Not this time. He and Gray weren’t through, but if Gray thought otherwise, he had another think coming. Unfortunately, he knew the stubborn cuss well enough to understand that he was going to have his work cut out for him. Shane looked forward to straightening his lover out.

Shane got ready, then checked the clock one last time.
6:27
He closed the door behind him and headed to the big house. It was still quiet on the ranch; the hands wouldn’t be arriving for about another thirty minutes, just in time for him to give them their orders for the day and leave for the hospital.

He grinned. He had some time with Gray all to himself. Ted’s surgery was set for 10:00 a.m. They all would have just enough time to get a bite to eat and get there before Ted was prepped for his operation. After Shane and Gray had spoken with the doctor the night before, they’d felt better about the surgery, but Shane knew he wasn’t the only one who wasn’t willing to not see Ted beforehand. The man had been in Shane’s life far longer than his own father had.

A slight breeze blew some strands of his hair into his face. Crap. Somehow or another he’d lost that last damned rubber band. He thought Gray had put it on the kitchen counter, but naturally he couldn’t find the blasted thing. Hell, maybe he’d go to the barber shop after Ted’s surgery was over and he was sure the man was fine.

He entered the house and strode quickly to Ted’s office, grabbed a handful of rubber bands out of Ted’s top drawer, then stuffed all but one into the right front pocket of his jeans before climbing the main stairs to find Gray. As he took the stairs, he finger-combed his hair and separated it into three sections.

When he reached the landing, he heard the shower, and pictured Gray naked and wet. Oh, yeah, the morning was getting better by the moment. Shane’s braid rapidly took shape as he pushed the bathroom door open with his hip just as the water cut off. He leaned against the door frame and waited.

It didn’t take long, Gray pulled back the curtain and stepped out, reaching for his towel.

Damn, but he’d grown into a fine man. Hell, last night it had taken everything he had not to melt at the man’s feet and he’d barely had the chance to really look him over. Now, though, the leisurely sight of that glistening body perked Shane’s cock right up. Wide shoulders tapered down to lean hips and heavily muscled thighs. Gray’s ass made Michelangelo’s David’s look plain uninspiring. Like Shane, Gray had very little body hair, just a bit on his arms and legs and a dark trail down the toned belly that led to his cock. There were a few scars here and there from his days on the rodeo circuit and the bullet scar on his right deltoid, but they were battle scars and served to enhance his beauty.

Gray ran the towel over his dark hair as his green eyes met Shane’s in the mirror. “Chief.”

“Grayson.” He dipped his head. “Your Aunt Tara is going to ride to the hospital with us.”

Gray nodded, then looked away.

Well, hell!
He’d known Gray was going to be bristly, but he wasn’t sure why exactly he’d be that way. Even if he was apprehensive about what he felt for Shane, there had to be something else bothering him for him to hightail it before Shane woke up. “You didn’t have to leave.”

“I thought you’d want me to.” Gray bent to dry his legs, showing off that fine ass.

Shane barely held back a moan. The man seemed totally unaware of his appeal and the show he was giving Shane. In fact he looked…uncertain. “Why would I want that?”

Gray wrapped the towel around his waist and put his hands on his hips. “You’re telling me you don’t regret it?”

“I don’t have any regrets about last night.”

One dark eyebrow lifted. “None?”

“No. Why would I?” Shane raised a brow of his own.

Gray shook his head and grabbed the pile of clothes off the counter and started to dress. He was quiet for several minutes while he yanked on a white pullover shirt, red boxers and jeans. He brushed out his hair and brushed his teeth. The whole time there was a fine tension to him that most people would have missed. But Shane knew him, and it gave him an anxious feeling in his gut.

Gray finally turned and faced him, back against the counter, arms crossed over his chest, brow furrowed. “You don’t like…I mean you’ve never…” He took a deep breath and let it out. “You aren’t gay.”

What?
Shane was flabbergasted. “I’m not?” How could Gray not know? Shane pushed off the doorframe and stood in front of the younger man. He reached up and soothed the furrow with his thumb and met those worried green eyes. “I don’t understand why you think that.” He ran the backs of his fingers down one smooth cheek. Grayson leaned in to his touch, closing his eyes for a second before abruptly stepping away.

Shane let him retreat, sensing his need for space, his need to analyze. Gray had always been that way. On the surface, he’d appeared impulsive, but Shane knew better. Everything Gray did was well thought out. He smiled fondly. “There you go again, pondering things into the ground.”

“You confuse me, Shane.”

“You confuse me, too, so we’re even.”

“You’re gay?”

“Have been for as long as I can remember.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me? I always thought…You should have told me.”

The man was going to cross every T and dot every I whether Shane wanted him to or not. He sighed. “Because by the time you were old enough to discuss that sort of thing, you’d already left.”

Gray snatched a pair of white sneakers and socks off the closed lid of the toilet, then sat down and put them on. Shane didn’t know what Gray was thinking but whatever it was, he knew his future hinged on it. “What do we do now?” Gray whispered.

“We take it one day at a time.”

Gray leaned his elbows on his knees and stayed almost motionless for several minutes. Finally, he looked back at Shane. “I need you to be my friend, Shane. I can’t lose that again.”

Shane’s stomach settled more easily; this was promising. He could deal with this, but he didn’t fool himself into thinking it was going to be easy. Nothing with Gray ever was, but it was a good start. He wasn’t going to push right now, not until they knew Ted was going to be okay and things got a little closer to being normal.

He smoothed his fingers through Gray’s thick, dark-brown hair. There was just a hint of auburn in this light, but when the sun hit it, it looked almost as red as Kaitlyn’s fiery hair. “I was always your friend, Grayson. It was you who pulled away from me. You’re the one who left and didn’t come back.”

The sound of the back door shutting was followed by a female voice. “Boys? Where are you?”

Shane sighed.
Damn Aunt Tara’s timing.

Gray almost looked relieved at the interruption. He stood and slapped Shane on the shoulder. “Let’s go to the hospital.”

* * *

Gray laid his head back and closed his eyes, half listening to Aunt Tara chatter to his mom and Shane. The movement of the truck and the hum of the motor was almost soothing. Today had been another emotionally draining day. Although his dad’s surgery had gone well and he was recovering, Gray’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been worried. He had gotten to see his dad in the cardiac ICU after the operation, but Ted had still been asleep. Then, for a good thirty minutes, he’d argued with his mother about her staying at the hospital. Finally, the doctor had told her she couldn’t stay in Ted’s room, adding that Dad wouldn’t be alert until the morning anyway. Only then had she agreed to go home and get a good night’s sleep. Damn, the woman was stubborn!

Then there was him and Shane; things between them were still strained. They really hadn’t settled anything before his aunt Tara had arrived at the ranch, and they hadn’t had two minutes alone since then. He had no clue where he stood with Shane, and he’d almost felt betrayed that he hadn’t known Shane was gay. All these years why had Shane led him to believe that he’d been disgusted by Gray coming on to him? Or had he? Had Gray misunderstood? If he were honest with himself, he didn’t remember much about the actual details, just the feelings of rejection and loss.

“Shane, honey, what is that there in the—” The truck swerved. Both the women gasped while Shane spat out an expletive.

Gray’s eyes flew open; instinctively, he grabbed the steering wheel to get them back on the road.

Shane slapped his hand. “I got it!”

Gray frowned and moved back into his seat after seeing Shane really did have everything under control. “What the hell was that?”

“Nothing.” Shane grumbled. “Sorry, everyone.”

Kaitlyn leaned forward. “Shane, are you tired? Why don’t you pull over and let Gray drive the rest of the way home.”

Shane’s jaw tightened. “I’m okay, Kaitlyn. I just didn’t see it.”

See what?
Gray glanced out the back window and saw the dead cow lying in the road about thirty yards back. “Hell, Shane, I can see if from here. Are you dozing off?”

Shane’s shoulders were stiff and…was he squinting? “No, I’m not dozing off. I’m wide awake.” He
was
squinting.

Gray checked the path ahead of them and realized they were only about half a mile from home. “You need to get your eyes seen to.”

A muscle in Shane’s jaw ticked.

Shit.
That hadn’t come out right. “What I mean is, you might need glasses now that you’re older. A lot of people—”

Shane turned his head and glared at him, eyebrow cocked, eyes narrowed. “Do you want to drive?” His tone made it quite clear that the answer better be no, then he returned his attention to the road.

Gray sighed and shook his head. “No.” They were almost home. There was no sense in starting an argument over it now.

His mother, God bless her, defused the tension. She patted Shane on the shoulder and chuckled. “Well, I didn’t see it either until we were right up on it. Good thing I wasn’t driving, I’d have probably hit it. That wasn’t one of our cows, was it, Shane?”

“No, ma’am, that was a Jersey; we only have Herefords and Red Angus.”

Gray barely suppressed a snort. Honestly, she could have been less obvious. His mother knew darned well what kind of cattle the Broken H raised and the woman had eyes like a hawk. There was no way she could confuse those breeds, but he was thankful for her distraction anyhow. For some reason, his eyesight was a sore point with Shane, but someone was going to have to bring it up again. Shane really did need to get his eyes inspected. That cow had been pretty visible, smack dab in the middle of the road as it was. Well, it should have been. Obviously, Shane wasn’t the only one having a hard time seeing it; someone had hit it, after all.

They pulled into the drive and Shane parked the truck. He got out and opened the door for Aunt Tara and Gray did likewise for his mother. The women soon headed into the house, leaving them alone on the gravel. Gray leaned against the truck, his arms folded across his chest. “So, you want to tell me what that was all about?”

Shane’s eyes flashed fire at him. “No. I want to take my decrepit ass home and go to bed.” He turned and strode off angrily, leaving Gray to stare after him.

What the fuck?!

Chapter Five

Shane made it all the way to the front door and had stuck his key in the lock before his brain decided to override his pride. His eyesight
was
getting bad, but he’d actually been lost in thought and not paying attention to his driving or he
would
  have seen that damned cow sooner. Still, damned if that age comment hadn’t riled him up but good.

All right. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He was exhausted and on edge from watching the people he loved suffer all day. Ted had looked so old and helpless, not at all like the robust man Shane knew. In the surgical recovery room, he’d been unconscious and on a respirator while Kaitlyn had stayed at his side, holding his hand with tears in her eyes, and described the room and its occupants to the unresponsive man. She’d been strong for all their sakes, but her worry was clear.

Getting older positively sucked. Seeing Ted and Kaitlyn and Tara had reminded Shane of his own mortality. He could easily picture him and Gray in the same situation, as their age difference was nearly the same as Kaitlyn and Ted’s. He never wanted Gray to go through what his mother had endured today. Shane had determined that he would put everything behind him and vowed to take better care of himself than Ted had. And then Gray had reminded him that he was aging.

Shane banged his forehead on the door. Twice.
Damn it!
“Grayson!” He knew Gray hadn’t moved, but he turned from the door to see him.

Sure enough, the other man was still standing where Shane had left him, staring back at Shane and looking confused as hell. “Yeah?”

“Come inside…please.”

Gray nodded and strode toward him.

Shane let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, pivoted to the door and swung it wide. He desperately needed a beer. He crossed the living room, flipped on the lamp by the couch and continued into the kitchen. Grabbing two bottles from the fridge, he tossed the bottle cap from his onto the counter and took a long pull. Resting against the counter, he took another swig, draining half the bottle, then heard the front door click shut.

Gray appeared in the kitchen seconds later. Shane held out the unopened bottle and took another drink from his own. Gray opened his drink and flipped the cap next to Shane’s on the counter. He swung one of the kitchen chairs backward and straddled it before gulping another drink, then dangling the bottle in his fingers. Resting his arms on the back of the chair, he glanced at Shane.

Shane heaved a sigh, set down his beer and hoisted himself up to sit facing Gray. He sipped some more beer while gathering his thoughts. It was time to discuss what was between the two of them. Hell, all day they hadn’t had a chance to snatch even a few precious seconds to talk, and that was probably one reason why he was so damn short tempered.