The Child Whisperer (17 page)

Which activities can you think of that would honor the movement of your Type 2 sensitive child? List a few here:

Learning Tendencies

Learning Style:
Gathering details

Type 2 children enjoy doing research (just another form of gathering details), as long as they are interested in the subject. The older they get, the more hours they can spend discovering detail after detail. Some of their best learning happens when they are free to meander through a topic with plenty of resources available to explore and answer their questions.

They also tend to learn best from stories and examples. I know of a Type 2 kindergartener who doesn’t want to solve 2 + 2. But she does just fine when asked, “If I have two Barbies and my friend gives me two more, how many Barbies is that?”

Classroom Behavior:
Sensitive to the environment

Teachers generally love Type 2 energy in their classroom. Our current school system values quiet children who sit still and follow directions. This behavior comes naturally to a Type 2, especially if they have been given the opportunity to ask clarifying questions before being left alone to work on a task.

Because classroom learning generally involves a large group of children, and Type 2s are more subdued, they may sometimes feel overlooked or even invisible. They do not jump into group discussions loudly or quickly, so by the time they feel comfortable enough to speak, the opportunity may have already come and gone. Reassure your Type 2 child that they do not have to speak out, act up, or mimic their higher energy classmates in order to be recognized and valued.

Type 2 children are sensitive to their classroom’s emotional environment—how they perceive that the teacher feels about them, how other children treat each other, and any classmates who might feel left out or sad. If your Type 2 child is reluctant to go to school, ask first about the emotional aspects of their experience: how comfortable they feel at school, how they feel about the other children, or how their teacher makes them feel.

. . . .

CHRIS’ STORY

Type 2s in the School System

Even though Type 2 children can naturally be successful in the traditional school system, not all Type 2s are drawn to it. I have two Type 2 children, Chris and Anne. They both had very different experiences in school.

Anne used her natural gift for details and planning to create a very interesting and easy educational experience that she was very successful with. She received a college scholarship, graduated at the young age of 20 from college, and was involved in many leadership and volunteer activities. You may find that your Type 2 child follows a similar path. But if they don’t, don’t worry.

My son, Chris, was not that interested in school. He did fine in elementary and middle school. But in high school, he was old enough to feel he had an opinion about what he valued. And he decided he didn’t care that much about what was taught in school. We ran into many power struggles trying to get him to care more and invest more effort, without any success. Every attempt turned into a fight and he disconnected from us more and more until he felt he couldn’t trust us when it came to this experience in his life.

Things changed when we finally backed off and allowed him to do it his way and trust that he knew what he was doing. Even though it appeared he didn’t have a plan, he had thought about it. His plan was to do just what he needed to pass his classes and no more—and he followed his plan to a T! In his senior year of high school, we received a notice from the school that he may not pass all of his classes and not be eligible for graduation. I talked to him about it, and he very confidently told me, “Don’t worry about it, Mom. I know what I have to do and I’ll do it.” Which he did! So Type 2 planning may not always look the way we parents think it needs to look.

Chris is a natural entrepreneur and the traditional school system did not allow him to pursue and develop his natural interests. He went to college for two years to study business. But once again, he felt that what he was learning did not meet his plan to become a successful entrepreneur. So he left college after earning his Associate Degree, gave himself an honorary four-year diploma and set out on his path to study the minds and methods of the most successful entrepreneurs of our day.

We hired Chris when he was 25 to lead our company as our CEO. We realized that Chris did not shy away from learning—what he wanted to learn just had to fit into his bigger plan for his life and career. To this day, I have never met anyone who spends more time reading, studying, and observing the online business and marketing world than my Type 2 son. I truly believe the methodical, planned-out nature that he brought to our company at a pivotal time set us on a path for growth and success. True to his nature, he prioritizes everyone feeling honored in their work environment and our customers feeling connected and supported by our company. I am so proud of him.

Whatever learning experience feels most honoring and supportive of your Type 2 child’s nature and natural gifts is the experience you should support them in.

. . . .

Study Habits:
Detail gatherers

These children love learning new things and they complete homework successfully if they feel they have enough time and don’t feel pushed. At a younger age, they may enjoy working on homework with parental support. As they get older, they usually prefer to work on their own, sometimes checking in with you to ask questions.

Type 2 children usually follow through on homework and projects, but many of them (as early as elementary school, all the way up to high school) tend to put things off until the last minute. High school students may try to stay up all night right before a big project is due. Because of their sensitive nature, this pattern of stress can lead a Type 2 to sickness. Help your child recognize their tendency to stay in a detail-gathering phase until the last minute. Ask how you can help them move into the action phase of their plan a little earlier on the next project.

How do you feel inspired to make your own Type 2 child’s learning and study experiences more supportive and move at a steady pace? List your ideas here:

Physical Development

Learning to Walk:
Cautious and comfortable

There is no consistent pattern to how early or late a Type 2 child begins to walk. Some start well before their first birthday, while others only attempt walking many months afterward. But the Type 2 keyword for learning to walk—no matter when it happens—is
cautious
! They want to feel safe and comfortable, so they will take fewer risks than other Types of children.

Child Whisperer Tip:
Create a space in your home where your Type 2 child feels comfortable to move around. As in all things, honor your child in learning to try this new skill at their own pace. The harder you push, the longer they will take.

Learning to Talk:
Quieter, but still verbal

Even though they are naturally quieter, Type 2 children are verbal and many are fairly early talkers. They observe the details of speech and then use them to create connections with others. You may find that they use polite language like
please
and
thank you
without much prompting.

Potty Training:
A methodical experience

Once a Type 2 child shows a desire to stop using diapers, potty-training may be finished in just a few days. These children are more methodical and gentle and respond best to a comfortable experience.

Child Whisperer Tip:
Make a plan with your child and get all the supplies you need ahead of time. Get supplies that make the experience comfortable, including a small potty seat. Don’t make your Type 2 child climb up on the adult toilet. And make sure to offer praise that is more private between the two of you—not with the whole family present.

If potty-training your Type 2 child feels like it’s taking too long, this is an indication that something in the experience is not comfortable for your child. It might be something as simple as the kind of potty seat they are being asked to use, or not feeling involved in the potty-training plan. Even the toilet paper may make a difference. Have them pick out the toilet paper with you, choosing a nice soft brand. My Type 2 daughter, Anne, jokes that she never knew that soft toilet paper existed, as I never paid any attention to this detail. I went for the cheap brands that were usually much rougher in texture! Ask your child to identify what would make them feel more comfortable. Resolve the issue and your Type 2 child will be potty-trained in no time.

Sleeping:
Need comfy, cozy spaces

At a young age, these children generally sleep well. They also cry so quietly during the night that their parents often don’t hear them. In fact, one mom said that she got up more than her newborn did for the first several months because she could never tell when her Type 2 baby was awake and crying—so she’d get up to check all night long! If an infant Type 2 sleeps in a different room from his or her parents, a baby monitor might be a good idea.

These children also love cozy connections, so as they become more mobile, parents may find Type 2 visitors in their bed who want to cuddle. Make sure you slow down long enough to give your Type 2 child time to connect with you during the day so they don’t try to make up for it at night!

Type 2 children may take a long time to fall asleep because their minds get going with details and potential plans. While every child needs adequate sleep, a Type 2’s naturally sensitive physical composition is particularly vulnerable to lack of sleep or interruptions to their sleep patterns. Help them settle their minds with a predictable bedtime routine that helps them to wind down.

Child Whisperer Tip:
It’s a jarring experience for a Type 2 to be in the middle of something and suddenly be told it’s time for bed. They feel like they need 10 more minutes to process what seemed to come out of nowhere. Give them notice that bedtime is coming up so they can prepare and plan. Also make sure that they have comfortable pajamas, sheets, blankets, and pillow. If they have a comfy bed that feels warm and inviting to them, they will want to get into it more readily!