The Last Boyfriend (23 page)

“Yes. She still feels
guilty. That’s why I’ve been so concerned about her. I’m worried
she’s going to do something silly.”

“I thought she was the
girl you loved.” I rushed my words, suddenly feeling light. “I
thought she was the girl you loved who broke your
heart.”

“Angelique?” He laughed.
“No, no, no. She was Noah’s girlfriend for two years. She even
helped me pick this place out when they were dating. She dumped him
when her career started taking off. She got a big modeling contract
in Italy.”

“Oh wow.”

“She still loved him, but
she didn’t want to give up her career so she told him to move on.
He couldn’t take it. The pain was too much for him. He never
understood why they couldn’t be together when they were still in
love.”

“That must have been a
hard decision for her to make.”

“She regrets it every day
of her life.” Zane sighed. “But it’s not her fault. It’s Braydon’s.
Noah never did hard drugs. He only used to smoke some weed, but
Braydon got him hooked. He was with Noah the night that he
died.”

“He was?” I was shocked,
but it seemed to make sense. “Why didn’t he get
arrested?”

“The police had nothing on
him. He told them that he had no idea Braydon was on drugs. I knew,
of course, I found out a few weeks before Noah died that he was on
something and I confronted him. We had a big fight, and he went and
moved in with Braydon. I was going to go ask him to come back, but
my pride got in the way and then it was too late.”

“Oh Zane, I’m so sorry.”
Tears streamed down my face, and I wiped them away quickly. “My
heart aches for you.”

“I don’t
want to make the same mistake twice. I don’t want to keep my
feelings to myself with you, Lucky.” He took a deep breath. “Shit,
this is hard. I really like you. Like,
really
like you. And I don’t want to
let that go. I think we could have something. I know this is coming
from nowhere and I know I can be crazy and moody and schizophrenic,
but I want you to give me another chance. I want us to start again.
I want to see if I can be the guy you have been waiting for. Will
you let us start again?”

“Oh Zane.” I stared at his
face and I wondered how I had never noticed the fear in his eyes
before. I’d always thought he was so strong and hard, but he was a
human being, just like me, he had fears and worries just like
me.

“Answer me, Lucky.” He
grasped my hands tighter. “Please.”

“When I lost my parents, I
thought my world had caved in on me. And then a few weeks later, my
boyfriend dumped me. And then I knew that was it. I knew the world
was about to end. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t sleep. I never
wanted to feel again. My life became perfunctory. I protected my
heart. And I was happy with that. I wanted to make sure that the
next guy I dated was the last guy I dated. I knew that my heart
couldn’t take one more heartbreak, and I didn’t want to sleep
around. But then you started coming into the diner, and all I could
think about was what it would be like to date you, to make love to
you, to be the girl with you on that date.”

“About the dates, Lucky.”
Zane interjected.

“Wait. Let me finish.” I
smiled tenderly. “When I saw you at the party and we talked, all I
wanted was to get to know you better. I wanted to talk to you all
night long. And then I saw you with Angelique. I was jealous and I
wanted to scream. And I think that was when I kind of knew I liked
you as more than the guy who came into the diner a lot.”

“You did?” He smiled
hopefully.

“And then my car broke
down and you came swooping in like I was some damsel in distress,
and you irritated the shit out of me. Yet, I kind of liked that you
were there to take care of me.”

“I always want to take
care of you, Lucky.”

“I don’t need anyone to
take care of me.” I shook my head. “I’m strong, Zane. That’s what I
want you to understand. I broke my rules to be with you, even
though I knew it could all end with me having a broken heart. But I
was okay with that because I know I’m strong enough to handle it. I
would rather have a month, or a week, or even a day with you than
no time at all. There is something about you that makes my heart
soar. I’m addicted to you. Your smell drives me crazy. Your kisses
make me wild. And your smile makes me believe in angels. I don’t
need a promise of tomorrow when I’m with you, because today is all
that matters.”

“I want to be able to give
you a promise of tomorrow, Lucky. I want to give you everything you
deserve. You’re stronger than me. You’re more open than me.” His
voice cracked. “I don’t want to promise anything I can’t give
you.”

“I don’t want you to
promise me anything you can’t give, Zane.” There were tears in my
eyes. “I just want you to give us a fair chance.”

“Lucky, I haven’t dated in
years. I think that shows you I’m all about giving us a fair
chance.”

“You haven’t dated in
years?” I laughed and looked at him like he was crazy.

“Those girls I took to the
diner, well you were right. They were all Braydon’s exes. I went
out with all of them because I was trying to get information out of
them. I wanted them to incriminate Braydon as a drug dealer so that
I could have enough proof to get him prosecuted.”

“Oh.”

“They weren’t real dates,
Lucky. They meant nothing to me. The only girl I could look at
every time I went to Lou’s was you.”

“But who was the girl that
broke your heart?” I asked him, with my heart in my
mouth.

“The girl that broke my
heart?” He frowned.

“The one you told me about
the other day.”

“Wait, oh, hahaha.” He
started laughing. “That was Lily Chen, she was my first grade
girlfriend. I thought she was going to be my ninja warrior
princess, but all she really cared about were Barbies and Legos.
She dumped me when I refused to play Barbie goes shopping. She
broke my heart for a week, and after that, I realized that love
wasn’t worth it.”

“Oh Zane.” I laughed and
shook my head.

“I’m fucked up. Lucky. I’m
really fucked up. I don’t know that I ever really got over my
mother leaving us behind.”

“Oh Zane.” I brought him
in close to me. “No child can comprehend and get over their mother
leaving. No adult either. You’re not fucked up, my dear. You’re
hurt, you’re broken, and you’re rejected. But she didn’t leave you,
Zane. I swear to God, that she didn’t leave you because you were
unlovable. She didn’t leave you because she didn’t want you. I know
there had to have been other reasons. There is no way that she left
because of you.”

“I don’t understand why
she didn’t love me enough to stay. I don’t understand why she
didn’t deal with my father for me and for Noah. Why didn’t she love
us enough to try and work out something? She just left us, Lucky. I
can’t get over that. I don’t know why I was so unlovable. It was
just me and Noah.” Zane sobbed in my arms. “It was me and Noah, and
I held it together for him. I wanted to be strong for him. It was
he and me against the world and we could do anything. But then he
went and got his heart broken and he couldn’t cope. He couldn’t
cope and there was nothing I could do to fix him. There was nothing
I could say to make it all right and I lost him. I lost him just
like that. It was he and me against the world, and he defected. He
moved to Braydon’s and I never saw him alive again.”

“I’m so sorry, Zane.” I
kissed his forehead and kept him close to me. “But it’s not your
fault. You couldn’t have known.”

“Braydon told me that Noah
thought he could fly. One second they were standing there drinking
on a rooftop, and before he knew it, Noah was running and jumping
off the roof, shouting out Angelique’s name. Braydon didn’t even
have time to react. He was fucked up on some drugs as well, and by
the time he realized what was happening, Noah was jumping off the
building.”

“I can’t believe I ever
thought Braydon was a nice guy.” I sighed.

“He plays a good game.
He’s an actor, remember?”

“He lost it today, though.
I bet he thought I already knew what he had done.”

“What do you mean, he lost
it?” Zane pulled away from me and pushed my shoulders back and
looked into my face. “Did he hurt you, Lucky? God help me, but I
will kill him if he hurt you in any way.”

“No, no. He didn’t do
anything to me. I’m okay.”

“Please tell me you won’t
see him again, Lucky.” Zane pleaded with me.

“I won’t see him again.
Trust me. He’s not the sort of guy I want to be friends
with.”

“So, are we good?” Zane
stood up and pulled me up with him. “Are we going to give this
thing a real try?”

“Are you going to go on
anymore fake dates?” I bit my lip. “I understand why you did, but I
don’t know if I could take it if you were still going out with
other girls.”

“I don’t want to see
anyone, but you, Lucky.”

“So we just continue as we
were?” I held my breath, unsure as to what his reply would
be.

“When we were on the
plane, I told you that I never wanted to fall in love. I told you
that I could never be the one to give you that happily-ever-after.
And I still don’t know if I can be your everything. I don’t know if
I can be the man that you want me to be. But I sure want to try.
Lucky Starr Morgan, I’m asking if I can be your last
boyfriend?”

“You want to be my last
boyfriend?” I gasped in shock. “Do you know what you’re
saying?”

“It’s hard for me to say
the words, Lucky, I’m not used to these feelings and I’m not used
to wanting more from a relationship. But yes, I know what I’m
saying. I want to be that person for you.”

“You want to be my last
boyfriend?” I laughed, deliriously happy. “I don’t think I know
what to say.”

“Say yes.” He laughed.
“Say yes, and let me take you upstairs so I can rip off your
clothes and do to you what I’ve been wanting to do for the last 24
hours.”

“Zane!” I giggled. “You’re
too much.”

“We have to remember a
condom tonight though.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “I take it you’re
not on the pill, right?”

“Yeah,
I’m not on it.”

“That’s what I thought.”
He grabbed my hands. “You know there’s a possibility that you’re
pregnant, right?”

“What?” I frowned.
“How?”

“The
bathroom.”

“Oh.” I flushed at the
memory. Protection had been the last thing on my mind. “Oh my. I
didn’t even think about it.”

“I want you to know that
I’m here for you, Lucky. Whatever happens. I want you to know that
I’m in this with you all the way.”

“Oh
Zane. I love you.” I couldn’t hold it in any more. “I really really
love you. I know it’s not politically correct for me to say it
before you and I know we haven’t known each other for that long,
but I love you
so
much, Zane. I don’t want to live without you. I
don’t want to be without you.”

Zane’s eyes glazed with
unshed tears, and he brought me towards him and kissed me so
tenderly that I thought that I was going to cry. “I love you too,
Lucky. I love you
so
much that words cannot adequately describe all the feelings
in my heart. My heart is so full that it feels like it is about to
break.”

“Oh Zane.” My breath
caught and I felt like my heart was going to burst with happiness.
This moment didn’t feel like it was real. I couldn’t believe that I
was hearing the words that I had waited my whole life
for.

“Give me your hand, Lucky.
I want you to feel my heart. This feeling, this heart beat that you
feel beneath your fingers. It’s because of you. It’s for you.
Everything that I am and everything that I want to be, from this
moment on is because of you.” Zane’s voice broke and he shook his
head as if he was as amazed as I was, to hear the words coming out
of his mouth. “I don’t care what happens any more. I’m not scared
of what’s going to happen. I don’t fear us falling out of love.
None of that is as important as what we feel in the here and the
now. And right now, I want you to know that you are everything to
me. My heart is your heart to do with what you will. All I ask is
that you hold it carefully.”

“I will my love, I will.”
I caressed his face. “I will hold your heart as delicately as I’ve
held my own.”

“This is it, isn’t it
Lucky?” His voice was in awe. “We’re the real deal.”

“I think I’ve finally
found my last boyfriend.” I laughed and as we melted into each
other with a kiss, I knew in my heart that he was my one and only.
Without him, there would be no me. I wanted to stop time so that we
could be in this moment of love and wonder forever.

Thank you for
reading
The Last
Boyfriend
. Zane and Lucky’s story will be
continued in the sequel,
The Last
Husband
.

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