The Mechanics of Being Human (6 page)

Fawn stood in the kitchen with her can of oil as she swayed nervously from side to side. The information she'd learned last night was still a tsunami in her mind. Nothing worked as a distraction from her thoughts, either. Turning on the TV was pointless. The shows were nothing but mindless babble to her, since she could relate to none of the protagonists' experiences. Her dad was at work and her mom was sleeping late.

As she chugged the remains of her black goop then sighed, somebody knocked on her front door. She glanced at the clock and raised an eyebrow. It was eleven o'clock in the morning. Her dad's words from last night crept into her mind,
"You knowing about Jax was only going to put you in danger."
Images of five men standing at her front door, arms crossed, filled her mind. Should she open the door? Was she going to be blown to bits because Jax found her last night? She frowned at her feet, then crept over to the front door and stared out the peephole.

Instead of there being five men, there was only Gavin lingering outside. He held a massive pile of books in his arms and his hair, like usual, appeared mussed. He wore a pair of jeans and a blue t-shirt with a surfer on it.
What is he doing here? Shouldn't he be in school?
Eagerly, she opened the door and cocked her head.

"Took you a long time," Gavin grunted. "Mind helping me with some of these? My arms are going to break off."

She grabbed the stack of books at the bottom and took them from him. She held the entire stack and paused. There were a lot of books, but they didn't feel heavy at all. The only problem was she couldn't see over them. She worried she might run into a wall and damage the fragile pages.

"Whoa." Gavin put his hand on her shoulder. "Fawn, I didn't mean you had to take them
all
. Are you all right? Here."

He took half the pile and grimaced at her. They could both see each other from over the stack of books now. The sight of Gavin's dimpled smile was enough to push away even the pressing unhappiness from the night before. She'd to fight down the urge to step in closer to inhale his amazing scent.

"You're a real muscle woman." Gavin shook his head. "What do you weigh, a hundred and twenty pounds? Those books weigh as much as you do. It makes me feel like a real sissy, not being able to carry them."

"They aren't too heavy." She shrugged. "Where do you want them? Your apartment?"

"Yep. Because I always make an extra stop to say 'hi' while carrying heavy stuff when my apartment is right across the hall." Gavin winked at her teasingly. "These books are for you, silly. I remembered how you said you were nervous about taking the test, so I thought I would drop by and give these to you. Who knows? Maybe a few hours extra studying can help you get bumped up a grade."

"These are for me?" Fawn's eyes widened.

"Just to borrow," Gavin said quickly. "To be honest, I called in a favor to get into the book supplies for these. After the test, I'll have to take them back to school before I get into trouble. I don't want to lose my place on the swim or tennis teams."

"Thank you
so
much, Gavin." Fawn smiled at him. "That's a lot of trouble to go through just for me."

"No problem." Gavin leaned against the door and winced. "Mind letting me drop these off inside? I don't know how your arms aren't killing you. You make me feel like a real wimp."

Embarrassed, she stepped to the side and allowed him into the apartment. "Come in."

After walking over to the counter, she laid the books on the granite and he laid his stack down next to hers. He grinned at her and she forced a smile back. The smile slipped off of his face and his brows furrowed as he leaned against the counter. His arms crossed over his muscular chest.

"Are you alright?" Gavin asked. "You don't look well."

"More family drama." Fawn shook her head, fighting down the urge to talk about it. She must honor her word to her parent's about not involving anybody else. "Life's been crazy."

"Mmm. Life does that." Gavin studied her then glanced at his feet. "Well, if you ever want to talk about anything, I'm here."

"I appreciate that." Fawn looked down at an American history book. "And I appreciate these text books too. You don't know what it's like having to walk into a testing center with no knowledge about anything."

"Believe me, I do." Gavin smirked at her. "Of course, that was my fault."

She shook her head and laughed. When the laughter died away, neither spoke. Both of them shuffled their feet. Her cheeks burned but her skin tingled. She wasn't sure if she liked it. The feeling was new and entirely its own.

"Listen. Fawn." Reaching forward, Gavin grabbed her wrist. "After you're done with your test, what would you say about celebrating with me? Like maybe going to a movie or something?"

The invite was special. Fawn could see it on Gavin's anxious face. It was just she wasn't sure why.

"Okay." Fawn nodded. "I would love to do that."

"You know what I mean, right?" Gavin swayed from side to side. "I mean, like a
date
."

Date. She imagined a couple holding hands. Now she understood why Gavin's invite was special. The idea he thought of her like that brought her immense pleasure. Yes, she wanted to go on a date with him. She wanted to stroll down the parkway hand in hand. She wanted to feel his warmth overwhelming her.
I wonder if I've ever been on a date before.
The answer was dull blackness.

"I would love to go on a date with you." Fawn cocked her head.

The grin that broke out on Gavin's face was bright enough to leave her stunned. His eyes sparkled and danced. Pink covered his cheeks. It amazed her he could be so excited about a date with
her
. She didn't feel good enough for a guy like Gavin who was sweet, smart, and apparently athletic too.

"Well, that's great. I'll pick you up here." Gavin finally released her wrist.

"Okay." Fawn nodded.

The sound of yawning and feet stumbling came from her mom's room. His eyes darted toward the hallway, and she could tell he was nervous because his jaw tensed. He looked like a wild animal ready to sprint for the hills.

"Well, I'd better go, before your mom eats me." Gavin took a step back and ran into the counter. The stack of books he'd brought toppled to the floor in a series of loud bangs. "Oops."

"Fawn, what was that?" her mom called sleepily from her bedroom. Her bedroom door clicked open.

"Bye, Fawn."

Gavin waved at her and rushed to the door. She was left feeling much happier now, even though she had to pick up the stack of books on her own.

****

While sitting at the couch with her mom beside her, Fawn leafed through the pages of a biology book. The words crawled into her brain. She flipped to the next page then the next. This reading was easy. She wondered how many books the high school kids went through a day. Four, maybe five? She would have to do double that in order to get ready for the test. She flipped to the next page.

"Fawn, you should actually
read
the books and not just look at the pictures," her mom scolded, appearing concerned.

Fawn glanced up from the book. "I am reading the book."

The smile slid from her mom's face. "I mean more than the captions."

"I know. I'm reading it all." Fawn returned to studying the pages.

Before she could go through the next page, her mom tugged the book away from her. She flipped through the prevision sections and stopped. Fawn could see the image in the top corner and pictured the script on the page word for word.

"Who was the first biologist?" her mom asked.

Two words fluttered into her mind. "Kahit Sino."

Her mom gazed at her with her mouth wide-open. She didn't know why her mom looked so surprised. Fawn had just studied the material, after all. Her mom flipped through more of the pages and came to a pause.

"What is scientific classification?" Her mom stared at her with intensity, her lips pursed. The woman shook with either anxiety or enthusiasm.

"It's what scientists use to classify life on earth." Fawn tucked a hair behind her ear. "Otherwise known as Linnaean classification. Right?"

For a second, her mom didn't say anything. She just wheezed. She then flipped through more of the pages of the book as she shook her head. "I don't understand. I was with you when you opened this book. You've been reading less than ten minutes. There is no way you could digest so much information in such a short amount of time."

She stilled. It wasn't normal? She could recall each page word for word to the point she could read aloud the sections if she wanted to. She'd seen her mom's e-book reader and thought her own brain was like that. All she had to do was think of the book and page number, then the words she'd read appeared in her mind. She thought that was normal. Human. She bit her bottom lip.

"I remember the pages, Mom." Fawn glanced down at her hands. "Word for word."

"Well, that's just impossible." Her mom glanced up at her in shock. "What does the introduction say, then?"

The page appeared in her mind. She could see the picture of a bright green frog with rusty spots gazing at her with bulging orange eyes. She could even see the words that were bold in the paragraphs. It was easy.

She began to read. "'Biology is one of the world's most important sciences. The study of biology is the study of living organisms divided into many specialized fields. Biology is so important because humans are a part of biology, as is the environment which surrounds us. Biology is'—"

"That's exactly right." Her mom gaped at the book in her lap, then shook her head. "You recalled it all. Word for word. You're
amazing
."

"I told you." Fawn became anxious. "It's like reading the book. I have it in my head. I can see it. Even the pictures. It's a frog, right?"

For a moment her mom didn't say anything and stared at her, open-mouthed. Fawn didn't like the way she looked at her. Just when she thought she knew all her secrets, that she could start to be normal, something else odd occurred. Was she a strange person because she could recall book pages or facts so quickly? She just found another reason why she would have a hard time fitting in besides her lack of memory.

"Is it strange? Am
I
strange?" Her eyes widened. "I thought it was normal to remember things like that."

"You
aren't
strange," her mom said adamantly. "But you have to be careful who you talk to about this.
Very careful.
Do you understand me?"

For the first time her mom's eyes burned. She was shocked fire didn't burst out of the woman's eyeballs and consume her. She realized why her mom looked at her like that. If she told people she could remember the pages, then she would likely get attention for her memory. With everything that was going on with Jax, she could get everyone into a lot of trouble. That idea made her even more repulsed than the idea she was different.

"I won't say anything to anyone." Fawn frowned down at the books. "What should I do with the test? Should I not look at the books anymore, or…?"

"No." Her mom said this slowly, unsure of herself. "You should look through them all. I'll see if I can find any of my or Oliver's old school books around here for when you get through with these. You should try to excel as much as possible. Just tell people the answers pop into your head, all right? Maybe people will believe you're remembering facts from before. I doubt anybody will probe you too much."

"Well, alright." Fawn nodded. "I guess I can do that."

"Good." A relieved smile crossed her mom's face. "You truly are something. Jax did something extraordinary with you."

"Jax?" Fawn raised an eyebrow, wondering what Jax had to do with her own mind if they weren't biologically related. The smile slipped off of her mom's face again.

"Oh. You know. Raising you to be so intelligent." Her mom gave a nervous laugh. "You know. Now you continue to look through those while I get some lunch."

Her mom hastily stood up and then scurried into the kitchen. She stared down at the stack of books again.
Why am I so different from everybody else? Why do I remember the pages of books? Why does something not feel right again?
She reached forward and grabbed the biology book before her confused feelings overwhelmed her and distracted her from her studies.

Fawn stood with her mother in the high school hallway on Tuesday morning. The test date rolled around much faster than Fawn expected. She'd gone through Gavin's stack of books and her dad's stacks of old college texts, but they weren't enough. She guessed she could always read through more books even after the test—and would be expected too—but she wanted to do as well as possible.

The sound of her mom clearing her throat brought her back to reality. She was overwhelmed by the smell of overabundant lemon cleanser and old laundry. The scents did battle, making a foul mixture. The carpet was firm and orange. Inspirational posters hung on the walls. Her mom and dad hovered by her right side as they waited for Mr. Dungam.

"Peter is taking a long time to retrieve those test papers." Her dad grunted and checked his watch. "My lunch break isn't much longer. I'm going to have to get back to the hospital soon before I miss my patient."

"I'm sure he'll get here soon." Her mom rubbed his arm to soothe him. "When he gets back, you can say goodbye to Fawn and Peter. You won't miss your patient."

Just as her dad opened his mouth again, perhaps to complain, Mr. Dungam scurried around the corner with a stack of papers in his arms. A bright red lipstick smear was on his forehead. Her parents glanced at each other and raised eyebrows, but neither of them said anything. Fawn chose not to either. It was better not to get off on the wrong foot with her test proctor.

"All right." Mr. Dungam grunted and pointed at the room next to them, room 205. "Please go in there, Fawn. We'll begin your testing immediately. The tests are all timed. We'll be doing the tests by subject—math, English, science, history, and so on. It should take around three to four hours. I know you have to head back to work, Oliver. And Delanee, you can go home if you want and come get Fawn at three. You won't be allowed to talk to Fawn at all until after she takes the test, so you'll likely be bored here."

Both her mom and dad nodded. Fawn nervously swayed at the sight of the papers in his arms. Even with her strong memorization abilities, would she do well? She knew it was foolish to expect to be successful. After all, she'd squeezed sixteen years of learning into one day. Even if she'd devoured ten textbooks in the process, she doubted it was good enough.

Her mom ripped her from her thoughts by saying, "Don't be nervous, honey. You'll do just fine."

"Yeah." Her dad tousled her blonde hair. "You're going to do just great. I can feel it."

"With a dad like hers, I have a feeling she will." Mr. Dungam winked at him. "You're the only man I know who managed to keep a high grade point average in graduate school. I was sweating like a turkey on Thanksgiving."

Her dad grinned and shook his head.

"Well, it's best to get this little lady where she belongs so she has time to finish." Mr. Dungam opened the classroom door. "I'll see you later, Oliver. I'll give you a call if I hear about the golf game. And I'll see you when you come to pick up Fawn, Delanee."

Her dad gave her another solid pat on the shoulder, then he turned around to head outside. Her mom frowned at her, squeezed her hand, then followed her husband out the backdoor.

"All right. No need to be nervous. Even if you don't score the highest, we can get you where you need to be in no time." Mr. Dungam entered the classroom and Fawn trailed behind him anxiously. "We have all sort of special programs in case somebody falls behind."

His lack of confidence in her abilities to pass now that her parents were gone made her feel more anxious about the test. Her fists tightened as she glanced around the classroom and let out a weary groan. Desks lined the classroom. Two windows looked out upon the grounds.

"Bring back any memories at all?" He prompted. “Most schools look similar.”

Fawn shook her head. This was just as unfamiliar to her as Oliver and Delanee had been when she first met them. She wondered whether she'd ever been to school. Maybe she'd never experienced any true education at all.

"Fawn?" Mr. Dungam gave her a questioning stare. "Why don't you have a seat?"

"All right." Fawn took a seat at the desk in the front of the class.

With a happy hum, he searched his papers again, then placed a test booklet labeled 'Mathematics' on her desk along with a pencil.

"What you'll need to do is fill this out in forty-five minutes." He stole a glance at the clock. "Once the forty-five minutes are up, I will take this booklet then pass you the next one. Just do the best you can. Even if you don't answer all of the questions, don't panic. Remember. This is just a baseline for us so we know how to get you back on track. Just do your best."

"Alright." Fawn fought to keep the quaver out of her voice.

****

Mr. Dungam paced in front of Fawn, arms crossed. Muffled talking came from the hallway. She sat with her pencil in hand, staring at the questions of her English exam. She'd filled every last page thirty minutes ago.
Are these really aptitude tests? They are so easy. I could have filled these out
hanging from the ceiling upside down.
It was hard to imagine that hours before, she'd been nervous.

"Time's up, Fawn." Mr. Dungam met her eyes. "Hand in your booklet please. You're all finished."

"Alright." Fawn handed him the papers.

Mr. Dungam paused, then leafed through her answers. His face split into a wide grin after he saw she'd answered all of the questions. She was so glad she'd finished and was sure she'd done well.

"Fabulous." He shut her booklet. "You've finished all of the questions in every single booklet. How were the tests for you?"

"Easy." Fawn stood up and dusted off her jeans. "I knew all of the answers."

Shock crossed his face. Probably he'd expected her to fail, regardless of how much he buttered up her dad.

"That's good to know. A lot of people have trouble with this, and after the ordeal you went through…" Mr. Dungam scratched the side of his face. "Well, maybe you were lucky and didn't lose your knowledge."

Suddenly, Fawn felt uneasy. She remembered what her mom told her about her special talents and not to flaunt them. Instead of responding verbally, she nodded her head. The last thing she wanted to do was blow things for Jax. Even the idea of hurting him was the equivalent of stabbing herself in the heart.

He checked his watch.

"Well, we better get you to the hallway. You're fifteen minutes late and your mom is probably wondering what happened to you. Maybe she'll think I kidnapped her daughter." Mr. Dungam winked at her like this was a clever thing to say.

Fawn forced a smile on her face, though she thought it was tactless of him to joke about a kidnapping. She was eager to return home and was even more eager to clear her mind after the hard day of testing. There were more important things to think about now the test was over, like the fact her parents weren't truly her parents and the man who'd raised her could be in danger this minute.

The sound of the door opening tore her from her thoughts. Mr. Dungam entered the hall and waited for her by the threshold. Fawn trailed behind him with her hands in her pockets. When he entered the hallway, she shadowed him. She was overwhelmed by the noise. Students opened and shut lockers with louds bangs, loud laughter echoed, and a haggle of girls spoke in hushed voices while clutching books. Fawn was so shell-shocked it took her a moment to notice her mom stood to her left. And she was not alone.

Gavin leaned against a locker. He appeared as gorgeous as ever with his messy blond hair, torn Levis, and sparkling blue eyes. He towered over her mom and was far thinner. Looking at the two of them was like staring at a bean stalk planted next to a pumpkin. It made her smile.

"Hi, Mom. Gavin." Fawn nodded at the two of them. She noted the gaggle of girls gazed at her with narrowed eyes as Gavin's face lit up when she greeted him.

"Fawn." Gavin's mouth split into a massive grin as he hugged her. When he pulled back, a faint blush lined his cheeks. "How was your test? I ran into your mom on the way out to the bus and she told me you were here now. I thought I'd wait for you to see how you did."

"I'm glad you waited." Fawn grinned. "I planned to go over to your apartment to say hi anyway. I wanted to make sure we're all set for tomorrow."

"You bet we are." If it was night, Gavin's eyes would have glowed like stars. "I've been looking forward to our plans all week."

Her mom shuffled her feet and Mr. Dungam cleared his throat. Everyone turned to look at him.

"I'm glad you've made some friends already, Fawn. It's difficult even for the new people who go to school here." Mr. Dungam smiled encouragingly at her. "Delanee, Fawn did well. She answered every single question. They'll check her tests this week to get her official scores and then we'll let her know how she did. After that, we'll send you information on the books you'll need as well as test booklets to get Fawn ready to be home schooled."

The man clapped her mom on the shoulder with the strength to topple a buffalo. Her mom rubbed her shoulder and nodded. She grinned, but it didn't meet her eyes. It appeared Mr. Dungam wasn't the only one who put on a kind face for Fawn's dad's sake.

"Great." Mr. Dungam nodded. "Well, I'd better head off. Still a work day, after all. Don't have all day to shoot the breeze. Delanee, you tell that husband of yours to give me a call, you hear? They don't make better golf partners anywhere, and I have a twenty percent discount on the next outing."

Her mom appeared as excited about the prospect of her husband seeing Mr. Dungam again as a rabbit did about facing a fox. Still she nodded. The man didn't appear to see her hesitation because he grinned, clapped Fawn on the shoulder too though it didn't jostle her, and then walked down the hallway, swimming through a sea of kids. All of them were silent for a moment.

"You hate that man, don't you, Mom?" Fawn asked, glancing over her shoulder.

"Oh, good heavens, yes." Her mom shivered. "I would rather have a colonoscopy than spend a day with him. I think being with him all day was your
real
test."

Gavin chuckled and shook his head. Her mom glanced at him, shuffled her feet, then nodded toward the double doors which led outside.

"Well, come on, Fawn." Her mom glanced at Gavin. "You need a ride since you missed the bus?"

"I would love a ride, Mrs. D." Gavin grinned.

"Just call me Dee and you've got one."

****

That night, Fawn sat at the table with a book open in front of her, though she didn't flip through the pages. She gazed out the window. Her thoughts migrated from Jax to Gavin and then back again. She wanted to talk to Jax now that she knew he'd raised her, but she didn't want to get him into trouble. And then she wished she understood her feelings for Gavin more. She had no idea why she was so drawn to him. Whenever she saw his face, she felt like she was being electrocuted from the inside out.

Shuffling feet made her glance away from the window. Her mom walked into the living room with a frown on her face. Fawn could tell something was on her mind or she'd drunk too much because her face was a vivid crimson.

"Fawn, I want to talk to you," her mom said.

Something on her mind, then.
Fawn frowned and nodded. Every time they talked, she discovered world shattering information. She wondered what else could possibly have happened they needed to talk about. Did Jax abduct her from a happy family? Maybe she had a mysterious condition where her arm fell off and then scuttled away like an eerie crab. The possibilities were endless. She bit her bottom lip.

"Don't look like that. It isn't
that
bad." Her mom forced a grin on her face which suggested it actually was that bad. "It's just a warning. I want you to be careful around Gavin, okay? At school, he told me about the date he planned for the two of you. I just…This situation worries me."

"Why?" Fawn asked. "I promise I won't tell him about Jax or—"

"It's not that, Fawn. I trust you. So does your dad." The pretense of a smile must have become too much, because it slipped away.

"Gavin's nice, Mom." Fawn's fists balled. "I like him. He even helped me with the books."

"I know Gavin is nice. I like the boy, after getting to know him better. He won't do anything that worries me. I can tell he likes you." Her mom took a deep, shuddering breath. "It's just this is about
you
more than it is about
him
."

Unease became a tornado in her mind, destroying all happy feelings in its path.

"Me?" Fawn shuddered. "But, why?"

"You're special, Fawn." Her mom reached over and grabbed her hand. "So,
so
special. There is going to come a day when you have to face that."

Fawn pictured Gavin's glowing face. "Gavin's special too."

"Of course he is, honey. Gavin is special." Her mom squeezed her hand. "But he's just a
different
kind of special than you are."

"Do you…" Fawn withdrew her hand from under her mom's and felt her rage morph into a raging tiger. "Do you want me to not go tomorrow? I mean, are you telling me I can't go with Gavin?"

"No. You can go. Both your dad and I agree that you can, however—" Her mom's eyes narrowed. "—
do not
forget what I said, okay? And please don't do anything that would disappoint me."

Relief chased the tornado away. A part of her feared her mom would not let her go with Gavin. Gavin was the only person her age in her life. If her mom didn't let her go out with him—see him—then she would feel like she was locked in a dungeon. She loved both of her parents, but being with them wasn't the same as being with Gavin. Being with him was like getting a rush of adrenaline so powerful she could leap mountains. Being with her parents gave her lingering contentment which warmed her stomach.

"Thanks for letting me go, Mom." Fawn wrung her hands.

Her mom nodded. "Please don't think I have anything against Gavin. I was just concerned for him and for you."

"I know." She nodded. Deep down, though, she only half understood. She didn't know why her being "special" was a problem. Did her mom mean her photographic memory?

"Alright. Since you do understand, I'm going to bed." Her mom got to her feet then kissed Fawn on her forehead. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Mom." Fawn smiled at her.

For just a second, Fawn saw a flash of guilt on her face, but it disappeared as fast as it had come.
Please don't tell me my mom and dad are hiding something else from me?