The Other Half of My Heart (34 page)

‘I still have that sofa. My mother had it reupholstered though, so it's not the same.'

‘Thank goodness.'

‘Will you stay tonight?'

‘Yes please. I don't need to be back until tomorrow evening.'

‘Good.'

She settles her cheek against his hair. Their breathing quiets, stills. People are starting to leave the marquee, not to go home yet but to find places to smoke, or kiss, or whisper. The summer darkness has turned, at last, from grey to black; Tina has forgotten how close the stars seem, here.

‘I'm sorry you had such a lousy time,' Roddy says quietly.

‘Don't feel sorry for me. I could have made a better job of it all.'

‘We all could have made a better job of it all, if we hadn't been dealing with it.'

‘Your mother said something similar. When she brought the invitation.'

‘I'm glad you came,' Roddy says. His fingers are in her hair, gentle; her scalp sings.

‘Me too.'

Roddy nods. He rubs her arms, which are pimpling in the cool air. ‘Do you want to come back to my place?' he says. ‘I've got a barn conversion, you know.'

‘Not just yet,' she says, ‘if you don't mind.' There's such peace here, such calm. There's going to be such a lot to do, think about, decide, learn and relearn, and although Tina cannot wait to do it, for now she is happy just with this: Roddy, Snowdrop, stars.

‘Get up a minute, will you?' he says.

‘Of course.' She stands, quickly, afraid that she's hurting him. But he leans forward and wriggles out of his jacket. His shoulders are broader, now. He holds the jacket out to her.

‘I've got my wrap,' she says.

‘It's not enough, though.'

‘No,' and Tina puts on Roddy's jacket, and she settles herself back into his lap. ‘That's better,' she says.

FRAN AND FRED
come for tea on most Sundays. Tina bakes, Roddy sets the table, and they have leaf tea and use their china tea set, which had belonged to Roddy's maternal grandmother. Even six months after Tina moved in there's a sense of excitement, as though none of them can quite believe that they are here, like this: that, despite everything, and with no disrespect to what has gone before, they have made a happy ending.

Fran has brought a batch of granola.

‘You don't have to bring things,' Tina says.

‘Tina,' Roddy says, ‘don't say that. She has to bring this.'

Tina laughs. They do get through it at an astonishing rate. At breakfast, Roddy picks out the raisins and puts them into Tina's bowl. Tina trades him for hazelnuts.

Today there are ginger scones and lemon cake, and black olive bread with blue cheese and sun-dried tomatoes to go with it. It's the first really warm spring day, so they open the French doors and enjoy the warm air, and all of its promise.

‘I'd ask how business is,' Fred says, ‘but if this is what you're baking, I don't think I need to.'

‘It's fine,' Tina says, ‘Angie is doing a great job.' Her former deputy had taken the promotion with great energy, bubbling with ideas and training up her own assistant with aplomb. Tina goes over once a week, to check on things: Fran sometimes drives her, if Roddy can't free up the time in his schedule. So long as she takes her medication she's not sick, and she's getting used to the journeying, although even with a fair wind it's a four-hour round trip.

‘Have you found anyone for the flat yet?'

‘Well,' Tina says, helping herself to a scone and sliding a smiling look at Roddy, who grimaces, ‘funnily enough, Rufus's daughter is looking for a place.'

‘She says she just happened to bump into him and they went for a coffee,' Roddy offers. Fran laughs.

‘I said,' Tina says, ‘that he left a note for me in the shop inviting me for a coffee, and I was very happy to see an old friend. And he happened to mention that Kate was keen to find a place. So, that's good.'

‘You just need to find somewhere here, then,' Fred says, ‘for another shop.'

‘Yes,' Tina says. When she'd moved in with Roddy, a month after the ball, she'd been adamant that she wasn't going to be a spare wheel, as she put it. She would start the second Adventures in Bread here in Missingham.

‘That might need to wait,' Roddy says.

‘Well, best to get the wedding over,' Fred says. Tina laughs. The wedding is two weeks away. It will be the four of them plus a dozen friends, a register office ceremony followed by drinks here at Flood Farm, where, as Roddy says, we will all drink champagne until we fall over. Tina is having a dress made by a friend of Fran's, something draping and delicate, with the final fitting already booked. She's bought silver shoes and pale cream lace underwear. Roddy has made her a gift of a princess-cut diamond pendant that matches her engagement ring. Roddy has a new suit, the caterers are booked and the wedding cake has been made since Christmas, and is now wrapped up tightly in foil and waiting in the dark of the cupboard under the stairs.

‘The wedding is really taking care of itself, Fred,' Tina says.

Fran, who never misses much, says, ‘I see you've passed on the blue cheese, Tina.'

‘I don't see what that's got to do with anything,' Fred says, and as the rest of them smile and Fran starts to get out of her seat, her arms already reaching out to embrace Tina, who's sitting next to her, he adds, ‘This is why I like horses.'

‘Dad,' Roddy says, ‘the bakery is on hold and Tina is passing on blue cheese because she's expecting.'

Fran is making a noise that's half-shriek, half-purr. ‘When? But can you—' she says, ‘I thought—'

‘I'm twelve weeks. I'll have to have a C-section,' Tina says, ‘because of the way my pelvis healed, but apart from that, everything should be normal.'

Fred's on his feet, shaking Roddy's hand, clapping Tina's back, then putting his arm around Fran's shoulder and squeezing her until she laughs. ‘You and Tina are going to have a baby,' he says. ‘Well, that's the best news I can imagine.'

‘No, Dad,' Roddy says, ‘we're going to have two.'

It sometimes takes a while for me to get from the idea for a novel to the real story, so I often quiz kind people whose contribution never makes it to the page. I'm grateful to them just the same: they are part of finding the path. So I thank Dennis Hetherington (Mr Insurance), Joanna Sothern who found out lots of things about planning permission for me, and the various architects and eventers I have stalked and interrogated.

Sometimes the opposite happens. I went to see a baker with a vague idea that my heroine might have a little business. Listening to him talk about bread and the everyday magic and meaning he finds in it helped to inspire and create Bettina. Andrew Smith of Bread and Roses in Northumberland, thank you.

My dad helped me to find Roddy's Cosworth and work out how it all went so wrong on that road. I spoke with Stacey Davison about being a twin, and Rachel Pearce and Margi McAllister about mothering twins. I hung out on twin message boards, horse-related message boards, and message boards for people who use wheelchairs (particularly the apparalyzed forum). Thanks to everyone who answered my rookie questions. Thanks too to the good people of Twitter and Facebook who are always happy to help with writer research requests. My nieces, Hannah and Emily, also helped a great deal with the horses.

This book was written in near secrecy, because I was very protective of Bettina. But Alan Butland, Emily Medland and Susan Young read every word. Thank you.

I have a brilliant agent, Oli Munson at A. M. Heath, who is supportive and insightful and makes my writing life easy. And three bright and clear-sighted editors have guided me into making a real book from the lump of words I presented them with. Thank you, Emma Buckley, Harriet Bourton and Bella Bosworth. Deborah Adams has copy-edited this and my previous novel with intelligence and insight. Thanks, too, to the team at Transworld, whose passion for books is something to behold.

I'm blessed with friends and family who are prepared to listen to me as I try to work out plots and people, and who still talk to me even though they know I might well steal little bits of their lives to brighten up my pages. Thank you especially to Alan, Ned, Joy, Mum, Dad, Auntie Susan, Lou, Scarlet, Emily, Jude, Rebecca and Diane.