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Authors: J. L. Monro

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BOOK: The Perfection of Love
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“Hello.” He sounded neither happy or upset that I was calling.  I didn’t know how to take that.  Although there was the small possibility that he had deleted my number and then he didn’t know it was me that was calling him.  Grasping at straws but what can I do?

 

“Mitchell?” I had to ask to make sure it was him I was talking to.  The monotone voice on the other end of the line was making me doubt it was him.

 

“Dana.” A little more emotion this time but not much.  “You didn’t call me.  I missed you.”  Wow.  Were we at two different parties that night?  There is a high possibility there is something not quite right with this boy.  His mood swings are extreme.

 

“ Mitchell, you hit me!  That’s a big reason why I didn’t call you.”  Freaking weirdo.

 

“Dana, I’m sorry you got me so worked up.  I care so much for you and when I saw you dancing with that guy I just saw red.  I don’t want anyone else to touch you.  You’re the one for me and you’re mine.”  Not really sure what I’m supposed to say to that.  He’s talking as though nothing has happened that would change things between us.

 

“Mitchell, you can’t do things like that.  It’s not normal.  You don’t hit your girlfriend because you get jealous.  You talk.  That’s what people do.  They talk about their issues or what they’re not happy about and they work things through.  Anyway that’s not why I called.” Pause.  Swallow.  Deep breath.  “Mitchell, I’m pregnant.”

 

Silence.  And then more silence.

 

“Mitchell?”  Had he passed out?

 

“I’m here.  Fuck, Dana.  I’ve always wanted kids.  I want kids with you but not so soon.  You’ll need to move into my house with the baby.  The second bedroom is cluttered but all I have to do is chuck some stuff away, which is lucky so that can be a nursery.  What classes do I need to attend with you?  I can…”

 

“Mitchell, slow down.  I’m not moving in with you and neither is this baby!  I don’t want to be with you anymore.  We’ll sort out access once the baby’s born but we sure as hell are not living with you!”

 

“Dana.  Baby.  Please.  I shouldn’t have gotten so mad.  I know this now.  You can’t keep a baby with you at your grandparents.  They’re not getting any younger. Do you really want to put the stress of a newborn on them?”

 

I hadn’t thought about that.  Point made.  I still felt bad about the stress I’d caused telling them what had happened with Mitchell and the fact I was having a baby.  I couldn’t now move said baby in with them.  The endless screaming in the night would tire them out even if they weren’t the ones getting up to do the nappy changes.  All my sisters had said they would help out while I finished my studies and so had Ma and Pops but helping out while I was studying and still living at home full time were two different things.

 

“And the baby needs his dad.  We should try for the baby’s sake to give it a normal upbringing where he has both parents around him to love and care for him.”

 

Valid point.  I don’t know why he keeps saying ‘he’ though.  There’s a fifty-fifty chance that it could be a girl.

 

“And more importantly Dana, I love you.  I want us to be together.  I want us to make a go of things for our own sakes as well as our baby’s.  I’ll be good to you I promise.  And I know you can be good for me.”

 

“Mitchell, I don’t know.”  Fuck.  Why was I even thinking about this?  “You hurt me not just physically but emotionally as well.  I can’t trust you.”

 

“Dana, just give me a chance.  I know we can do this.”

 

“I’ll think about it, Mitchell.  I’m going now.  I’ll call you later.”

 

“I love you, baby.  You know that right?”

 

“Yeah, Mitchell I know.  Bye.”

 

Confused would be an understatement right now.  On the one hand Mitchell was this perfect guy that I loved and had made me feel so special and I wanted to spend the rest of my days with him.  Next to my family he was the most loving person I had in my life.  My favorite memory of us together is when he took me on a blind date.  I mean blind in the literal sense.  He picked me up and blindfolded me before I even got in the car.  He drove us out to a secluded beach and when he took off my blindfold there was a picnic laid out for us both.  He’d packed everything we would need; food, drinks, blankets and even a little music system that played a CD he had made especially for me with all our favourite songs.  Then on the other he was this seriously messed up person who had physically hurt me and still had the potential to do it again.  Ma had always said that people deserve second chances.  We all make mistakes and if no one ever got the chance to make right what they had done then we would live in a very sad world.  Did Mitchell deserve a second chance?  I know he believed that we could be happy together.  I could hear it in his voice.  The real question was did I believe in him.

 

The next couple of days I didn’t sleep very well.  Stress coming from not knowing what to do about school, what to do with a baby, what to do about my future and funnily enough the one that was stressing me the most was what to do about Mitchell.  I’d told my sisters and Ma and Pops what he’d said.  None of them had been supportive of the idea of me living with Mitchell but it’s not that I was surprised.  Everyone had been vocal about their disgust in Mitchell and made sure I knew exactly what they thought about the whole situation.  The thing was it was easy for them to comment and tell me what they would do but they were not the ones who had to live with whatever decision I made.  After my sisters had gone to do their own things and Pops had gone to de-stress, Ma took me into her room and made me sit on her bed.

 

“So my little Josephine, what are you going to do?”  She stood in front of me for a few seconds while she scrutinized me.  She always did this.  It was her way of reading you.  It used to make me laugh sometimes because she was so small.  Lana used to call her the angry pixie because she was short with cropped dark hair (or at least it used to be dark) and ears that kind of looked like they belonged to an elf or a pixie.

 

“Ma, I don’t know.  I really don’t.  I know how you all feel about Mitchell and you’re all right but…”

 

“You love him don’t you?”

 

“Yes, Ma.  So much it hurts.  I just want what you and Pops have.”

 

“What do you mean?”  She looked seriously confused.

 

“You and Pops are perfect.  You don’t have to live with you to know that you love each other completely.  You never fight and if you do it’s never in front of us.  You always talk to each other and try to make each other happy.  I want that.  I want that perfect kind of love.”

 

“Dana, there’s no such thing as perfect love.  It’s different for everyone.  Love just is.  There’s no rhyme or reason to it.  You can never compare your own relationship to another.  There’s no perfect relationship either.  Pops and I are the way we are after years of trial and error.  Believe me when I say there were times I wanted to hold the pillow over his face and I wouldn’t have felt any sadness over going to jail for my crime.  We worked at it.  Sometimes a relationship takes work and it’s worth fighting through all the mess to get through it.  Other times you need to just walk away and start again.  But no one can make that decision for you.  If you’re asking me, then I’m saying you keep your ass here where your family can take care of you and this baby.  I don’t know Mitchell well but I know enough of him that I don’t want him anywhere near you or my great grandchild.  But I know you and if you want to be with him then you’re going to find a way to do just that.  Just know that regardless of what the rest of your sisters or even Pops say, we’ll be here for you no matter what decision you make.”  She gave my hand a squeeze and kissed the top of my head before leaving me sat on her bed with my thoughts.

 

God, I loved my grandmother.  She could be ruthless and the most argumentative person on the planet some days but when you really needed her she was the best person to talk to.

 

I decided to leave Mitchell hanging for a few days while I cleared my head and sorted out in my head everything that I wanted to do.  It didn’t take me that long to realize I was going to give him a chance and make a go of things with him.  Little did I know I’d be making the biggest mistake of my life.

 

 

Five Years Later….

I knocked Mills and Joe’s door over and over again.  It was 3am and Jakey was asleep in my arms.  I’d left our bags in the car while I came to get Mills to open the door.  Finally the light came on and I heard the chains on her door coming off before I saw Mills’ model face open the door.

 

“Oh my god, Dana, what the fuck?  JOE!!!  Dana get inside now.  Put Jakey on the sofa.  Dana, your face?”  Mills had already begun to cry.

 

“Fuck, Dana!”

 

“Hey Joe.  You mind keeping it down?  Jakey’s sleeping.  I’m sorry.  I didn’t want to go to Ma and Pops’ but I had nowhere else to go.”

 

“Come on babe, I’m taking you to the hospital.  Joe can stay with Jakey.”

 

I was too tired to protest and it turns out I was lucky that I listened to Mills.  When we got to the hospital I found out that I had two broken ribs, a fractured eye socket and jaw.  Not to mention bruising all over my body.  Not his best work but it was up there.  By the time we got back to Mills’ and Joe’s house my family convention had already arrived.  Mara had Jakey’s head resting in her lap and the rest of my sisters and Saz were strewn around the room.  Ma rushed to me and gently held me to her and I felt her sob which broke my heart.  Suddenly all the strength that had been keeping me together for Jakey’s sake evaporated and I was a mess.  I felt more arms envelope me and Ma and think we all just stayed that way for a long time because none of us knew where to begin or what to say.  The one thing I did know was that Jakey and I were now safe.  We were back with my family where we belonged and the nightmare that had been my relationship with Mitchell was finally going to end.

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER SIX

Two Years Later

 

“Come on asshole.  It’s a road.  Cars drive on it so fucking drive like you’ve got life in you fuckwit.”  I gave the driver of the ostentatious black
porshe that had blacked out windows the bird.  The car pissed me off just as much as the owners driving skills.  Yes, because I was jealous but if he or most likely she because it was always women in those types of cars that they couldn’t drive, didn’t pick up the pace I was going to be late for work.  On a normal day it was hit or miss as to whether I cared if I was a few minutes late but today was important.  I had landed a job as a research manager at the university, which was an achievement considering I had a young child, I had studied at while I was completing my PhD in Psychology. 

 

The university had commissioned a big piece of research into the correlation between the cosmetic surgery and its psychological effects.  It was a longitudinal study and I was head of the project along with one other senior professor.  The university had even got a top surgeon from L.A. to come over to help with the research for a few months.  Dr. Deacon Greenwood.  I hadn’t had a chance to look him up and I needed to do it this morning before I actually met with him so I at least had a vague idea about him and his work.  He was either going to be some short, dark haired, overly hairy shrimp with bleach white teeth or a Ken doll with bleach white teeth.  Either way I could picture the bleach white teeth like that episode of friends when Ross leaves his whitener on for too long.  Hi-fucking-larious. 

 

When I parked  I ran through the car park and tore through the corridors to get to my office.  Lady Luck and I seriously needed to have a deep conversation because the bitch kept ducking out when I needed her.  When I got to my office the university dean was in there and there was a man sitting in my chair with his back to me looking out of the window.  Fucker was sitting in my chair!  I hate people in my space violating my shit.  I had a perfectly good sofa in my office why the hell couldn’t he have sat on that.  I knew this American jerk was going to be overbearing and arrogant.  I just knew it.  I couldn’t stand his ass already and he hadn’t even turned around.  I mentally reminded myself that I was going to be working with this man for a few months so I needed to play nice.

 

“Ah Dana, you’re here.”

 

“Hi Colin, sorry I’m late.  Traffic was mental.”  Total lie.  Traffic was fine.  I’d left  late because I overslept due to watching True Blood on DVD in bed.  AGAIN.  Something to be said about those sexy ass vamps.  There was no pretense.  They were either going to fuck you and leave you, or fuck you and kill you.  Straight forward.  No nonsense.  Love it.

BOOK: The Perfection of Love
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