The Skeptics Annotated Bible (431 page)

(38.37)
“Who can stay the bottles of heaven?”
I didn’t even know there were bottles in heaven.

38 When the dust groweth into hardness, and the clods cleave fast together?

(38.39-41)
“Wilt thou hunt the prey for the lion? … Who provideth for the raven his food?”
God seems pleased to have created prey for lions and ravens to eat.

39
Wilt thou hunt the prey for the lion?
or fill the appetite of the young lions,

(39.9)
“Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee?”

40 When they couch in their dens, and abide in the covert to lie in wait?

41
Who provideth for the raven his food?
when his young ones cry unto God, they wander for lack of meat.

39
Knowest thou the time when the wild goats of the rock bring forth? or canst thou mark when the hinds do calve?

2 Canst thou number the months that they fulfil? or knowest thou the time when they bring forth?

3 They bow themselves, they bring forth their young ones, they cast out their sorrows.

4 Their young ones are in good liking, they grow up with corn; they go forth, and return not unto them.

5 Who hath sent out the wild ass free? or who hath loosed the bands of the wild ass?

6 Whose house I have made the wilderness, and the barren land his dwellings.

7 He scorneth the multitude of the city, neither regardeth he the crying of the driver.

8 The range of the mountains is his pasture, and he searcheth after every green thing.

9
Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee
, or abide by thy crib?

10 Canst thou bind the unicorn with his band in the furrow? or will he harrow the valleys after thee?

11 Wilt thou trust him, because his strength is great? or wilt thou leave thy labour to him?

12 Wilt thou believe him, that he will bring home thy seed, and gather it into thy barn?

13 Gavest thou the goodly wings unto the peacocks? or wings and feathers unto
the ostrich
?

14 Which leaveth her eggs in the earth, and warmeth them in dust,

15 And forgetteth that the foot may crush them, or that the wild beast may break them.

16 She
is hardened against her young ones
, as though they were not hers: her labour is in vain without fear;

17
Because God hath deprived her of wisdom, neither hath he imparted to her understanding.

(39.13-17)
“The ostrich … is hardened against her young ones … because God hath deprived her of wisdom, neither hath he imparted to her understanding.”
Ostriches are not cruel and stupid birds who abandon their eggs to die after laying them, as these verses imply. They are, in fact, careful and attentive parents. The male scoops out a hollow for the eggs, which are incubated by the females during the day and by the darker colored male at night, an arrangement that helps to conceal them from foes. After the eggs are hatched, they are cared for by the mother for over a month, at which time the chicks can keep up with running adults.

As noted above, the Bible is wrong about ostriches being cruel and inattentive parents. But if they were, whose fault would it be? Why would God deprive them of the tools that are needed to do the job right?

18 What time she lifteth up herself on high, she scorneth the horse and his rider.

19 Hast thou given the horse strength? hast thou clothed his neck with thunder?

20 Canst thou make him afraid as a grasshopper? the glory of his nostrils is terrible.

21 He paweth in the valley, and rejoiceth in his strength: he goeth on to meet the armed men.

22 He mocketh at fear, and is not affrighted; neither turneth he back from the sword.

23 The quiver rattleth against him, the glittering spear and the shield.

24 He swalloweth the ground with fierceness and rage: neither believeth he that it is the sound of the trumpet.

25 He saith among the trumpets, Ha, ha; and he smelleth the battle afar off, the thunder of the captains, and the shouting.

26 Doth the hawk fly by thy wisdom, and stretch her wings toward the south?

27 Doth
the eagle
mount up at thy command, and make her nest on high?

28 She dwelleth and abideth on the rock, upon the crag of the rock, and the strong place.

29 From thence she
seeketh the prey
, and her eyes behold afar off.

30
Her young ones also suck up blood
: and where the slain are, there is she.

(39.27-30)
“The eagle … seeketh the prey … Her young ones suck up blood
.” God is pleased with the way that predators kill and devour their prey.

40
Moreover the LORD answered Job, and said,

2 Shall he that contendeth with the Almighty instruct him? he that reproveth God, let him answer it.

3 Then Job answered the LORD, and said,

4 Behold, I am vile; what shall I answer thee? I will lay mine hand upon my mouth.

5 Once have I spoken; but I will not answer: yea, twice; but I will proceed no further.

6 Then answered the LORD unto Job out of the whirlwind, and said,

7 Gird up thy loins now like a man: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me.

8 Wilt thou also disannul my judgment? wilt thou condemn me, that thou mayest be righteous?

9 Hast thou an arm like God? or canst thou thunder with a voice like him?

10 Deck thyself now with majesty and excellency; and array thyself with glory and beauty.

11 Cast abroad the rage of thy wrath: and behold every one that is proud, and abase him.

12 Look on every one that is proud, and bring him low; and tread down the wicked in their place.

13 Hide them in the dust together; and bind their faces in secret.

14 Then will I also confess unto thee that thine own right hand can save thee.

15
Behold now behemoth
, which I made with thee; he eateth grass as an ox.

16 Lo now,
his strength is in his loins, and his force is in the navel of his belly.

(40.15-16)
“Behold now the behemoth … his strength is in his loins, and his force is in the navel of his belly.”
Bible believers have identified the behemoth as a hippopotamus, dinosaur, wildebeest, or crocodile. But my favorite is the way these verses are translated by Stephen Mitchell: “Look now: the Beast that I made: he eats grass like a bull. Look: the power in his thighs, the pulsing sinews of his belly. His penis stiffens like a pine; his testicles bulge with vigor.”