The Skeptics Annotated Bible (80 page)

15 And
he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death.

(21.15)
“He that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death.”

16 And
he that stealeth a man, and selleth him, or if he be found in his hand, he shall surely be put to death.

(21.16)
“He that stealeth a man, and selleth him, or if he be found in his hand, he shall surely be put to death.”
Slavery is approved by God, and those who steal slaves must be killed.
42 Does God approve of slavery?

17 And
he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.

(21.17)
“He that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.”

18 And if men strive together, and one smite another with a stone, or with his fist, and he die not, but keepeth his bed:

19 If he rise again, and walk abroad upon his staff, then shall he that smote him be quit: only he shall pay for the loss of his time, and shall cause him to be thoroughly healed.

(21.20-27)
Slowly beating your slaves to death
It’s okay with God if you slowly beat your slaves to death. After all, they are your money. Just make sure that they survive at least a day or two after the beating. But try not to knock out their teeth or eyes. Otherwise you may have to set them free.

20 And
if a man smite his servant, or his maid, with a rod, and
he die under his hand; he shall be surely punished.

21 Notwithstanding, if
he continue a day or two, he shall not be punished: for he is his money.

(21.20-21)
“If a man smite his servant, or his maid, with a rod, and … he continue a day or two, he shall not be punished: for he is his money.”

22
If men strive, and hurt a woman with child, so that her fruit depart from her, and yet no mischief follow: he shall be surely punished, according as the woman’s husband will lay upon him; and he shall pay as the judges determine.

(21.22)
“If men strive, and hurt a woman with child, so that her fruit depart from her, and yet no mischief follow: he shall be surely punished, according as the woman’s husband will lay upon him; and he shall pay as the judges determine.”
If two men fight and cause a woman to miscarry, but do not hurt her, then the one who hurt her shall pay her husband an amount determined by the judges. Only if the woman dies is the punishment to be death. Apparently, then, with respect to abortion, God is pro-choice since he considers a woman’s life to be more important than that of the fetus.

23 And if any mischief follow, then thou shalt give life for life,

24
Eye for eye, tooth for tooth
, hand for hand, foot for foot,

(21.24)
“Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.”

25 Burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.

26 And
if a man smite the eye of his servant, or the eye of his maid, that it perish; he shall let him go free for his eye’s sake.

(21.26)
“If a man smite the eye of his servant, or the eye of his maid, that it perish; he shall let him go free for his eye’s sake.”

27
And if he smite out his manservant’s tooth, or his maidservant’s tooth; he shall let him go free for his tooth’s sake.

(21.27)
“And if he smite out his manservant’s tooth, or his maidservant’s tooth; he shall let him go free for his tooth’s sake.”

(21.28-32) Capital punishment for animals (and their negligent owners)

28
If an ox gore a man or a woman, that they die: then the ox shall be surely stoned
, and his flesh shall not be eaten; but the owner of the ox shall be quit.

(21.28)
“If an ox gore a man or a woman, that they die: then the ox shall be surely stoned.”

29 But
if the ox were wont to push with his horn in time past, and it hath been testified to his owner, and he hath not kept him in, but that he hath killed a man or a woman; the ox shall be stoned, and his owner also shall be put to death.

(21.29)
“If the ox shall push a manservant or a maidservant; he shall give unto their master thirty shekels of silver, and the ox shall be stoned, and his owner also shall be put to death.”

30 If there be laid on him a sum of money, then he shall give for the ransom of his life whatsoever is laid upon him.

31 Whether he have gored a son, or have gored a daughter, according to this judgment shall it be done unto him.

32
If the ox shall push a manservant or a maidservant; he shall give unto their master thirty shekels of silver, and the ox shall be stoned.

(21.32)
“If the ox shall push a manservant or a maidservant; he shall give unto their master thirty shekels of silver, and the ox shall be stoned.”
If an ox gores a slave, the owner of the ox must pay the owner of the slave 30 shekels of silver, and “the ox shall be stoned.”
42 Does God approve of slavery?

33 And if a man shall open a pit, or if a man shall dig a pit, and not cover it, and an ox or an ass fall therein;

34 The owner of the pit shall make it good, and give money unto the owner of them; and the dead beast shall be his.

35 And if one man’s ox hurt another’s, that he die; then they shall sell the live ox, and divide the money of it; and the dead ox also they shall divide.

36 Or if it be known that the ox hath used to push in time past, and his owner hath not kept him in; he shall surely pay ox for ox; and the dead shall be his own.

22
If a man shall steal an ox, or a sheep, and kill it, or sell it; he shall restore five oxen for an ox, and four sheep for a sheep.

2 If a thief be found breaking up, and be smitten that he die, there shall no blood be shed for him.

3 If the sun be risen upon him, there shall be blood shed for him; for he should make full restitution;
if he have nothing, then he shall be sold for his theft.

(22.3)
“If he have nothing, then he shall be sold for his theft.”
If a thief is caught and is too poor to make a complete restitution, then he is to be sold to pay for his theft.
42 Does God approve of slavery?

4 If the theft be certainly found in his hand alive, whether it be ox, or ass, or sheep; he shall restore double.