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Authors: Nicole Helm

Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary, #AcM

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BOOK: Too Close to Resist
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“You need to take this seriously, and you’re not.” He started pacing the room. “The police have nothing. Nothing. That guy is just...out there.”

Grace tried to ignore the cold chill down her spine. “Yes. I’m aware. I was the one he beat the hell out of, if you recall.”

“Yes. I do recall. I was the one in the hospital room while you were in a damn coma. So yeah, I understand. I won’t let it happen this time.”

For the first time, anger and frustration gave way to concern. This was so unlike her brother, so blown out of proportion. She expected worry. She expected Jacob to want her to stick close. She understood it all. She’d been down this road before.

What she didn’t understand was the anger, the barely contained violence in his declarations. It wasn’t Jacob.

“Jacob, you can’t run my life. Even if I let you, that doesn’t change or solve anything. We don’t even know if this is what we think it is. It could all be a freak accident.”

“Right. We should go around assuming it was a freak accident and going out on dates and being damned cavalier about it. How can you be this stupid?”

It took a lot of willpower not to smack him. To throw a fit and tell him to get out. People who never had to deal with what she’d had to deal with did not get to call her stupid, least of all her baby brother.

But he’d never, ever been anything but supportive up to this point, acting as interference between her and their parents. Giving her space. Treating her as he always had instead of like some fragile thing that would shatter. She held on to that little beacon of sanity.

“Jacob, you’ve never questioned my judgment before.” She purposefully unclenched her fists. “This asshole you’re currently being isn’t you. This so isn’t you.”

He sank onto her bed. “If it takes being an asshole to keep you safe, then so be it.” He clenched and unclenched his fists, looking as lost as she’d felt last night.

“You can’t, though. Not really. You can’t undo this or change it. What happened, happened.”

“I can keep it from happening again.”

“No, you can’t.” Grace sat on the bed next to him. She was beginning to understand. She’d felt this, too. The impotent anger. The feeling that if she did everything right it would be okay. It wasn’t true. What had happened to her wasn’t because of the choices she’d made. It wasn’t because of anyone or anything except the choices Barry made.

That was really hard to swallow, but she’d had to, and Jacob did now, too.

“I don’t want you to have to go through it all again.” His voice was low and gravelly, his hands clenched in his lap. “I wasn’t there the first time. I know I came home when you were in the hospital, but I went right back to school after. I was away and young and stupid and I didn’t do anything to help. Seven years later and I didn’t learn my lesson. I went out with Candy, I went on that stupid business trip. I wasn’t here and—”

“Your being here doesn’t change what happened. My house would have still burned down. The bottom line is, in a town like Carvelle, Barry knew I wasn’t living there right now. If he did this, it wasn’t to hurt me...physically anyway.”

“God, this is so screwed up. You’re comforting me. I’m sitting here making this about me again. And you... Christ, Grace. I’m sorry. I just want you to be happy and safe. Going out with Kyle...” He shook his head. “It’s the wrong direction.”

“It’s my direction,” Grace said firmly. “I need you to let go of being angry and let go of trying to control the situation. It can’t be controlled. All we can do is...wait.”

“I could hunt the jackass down myself.”

Grace sighed. “Yeah. So could I. Believe me, I’ve thought about it. A lot. But I have to believe the police will find him and I have to live my life regardless. I’m not going to be reckless. You won’t see me walking down any streets by myself at night, but I’m not going to let this take away every possible good. I can’t let him do that again. I’ve come too far. If I can’t have some semblance of normal...” Grace sighed. “What the hell is the point?”

“So you’re going to go out. With Kyle.”

Grace slid off the bed. “Yes.”

“Because that’s something good?”

“Yes. I think it could be.”

“I don’t think a date with a man like Kyle of all people is the best idea right now.”

Well, so much for thinking she’d gotten through to him. “Should I remind you that you like Kyle?”

“Yeah, I do. He’s my business partner and my best friend, but...”

“He understands.” Grace picked at the paint on her jeans. “I know you want to. Mom and Dad want to. But you don’t and he does, and I need that right now.”

Jacob let out a breath. “You don’t know him. Not really. Kyle is complicated and you don’t need complicated.” He moved off the bed.

“This isn’t open for discussion.”

“Grace—”

“You need to go apologize to Leah for being an ass before she goes home. You were awful to her and hurt her feelings.”

Jacob’s mouth went slack in surprise. Then he cursed. “She’ll find a way to pay me back for that one.”

“Not if you sincerely apologize. Now go. I have a date to get ready for.”

Jacob grimaced. “For the record—”

Grace pushed him toward the door. “You’ve reached your advice allotment for the day. Now get out.”

He grumbled but finally left, pulling the door closed behind him. Grace sank onto the bed, her clothes in her hands. The questions swirled through her brain. Was she being cavalier? Should she let her family lock her away until this was done? Should she put off pursuing anything with Kyle until this was all over?

But none of that felt right. She deserved something more. Finding the good. Someone who understood. A way to fight back the fear still threatening.

No, she deserved something, and this time she wouldn’t take no for an answer.

* * *

K
YLE
WAS
FAIRLY
certain even his first date hadn’t prompted this kind of all-encompassing nervousness.

Perhaps that was because he’d never spent much time dating people he connected with on a personal level. He usually dated career-focused women whose schedules rivaled his. That way, it was usually time that naturally ended the relationship rather than anything messy.

But Grace, even a simple date with Grace, had the potential to be messy. He was stepping into uncharted territory. Territory he’d promised himself never to walk. Territory he didn’t think he even wanted.

Grace made him want it. She made all those feelings he’d been scared of for so long seem less scary and more enticing. More along the lines of something he didn’t just want, but something he needed.

In a short time, she’d turned him upside down. He’d been afraid of that. The surprise wasn’t that she’d done it. The surprise was that he liked it.

Quieting the nerves deep beneath a veneer of composure, Kyle stepped out of his room. He moved down the stairs, surprised when the nerves didn’t disappear as they usually did when he focused. No, this time, they intensified.

Grace stood by the kitchen table, riffling through her purse. When she heard him enter, she looked up. “Hi.” She smoothed her hands over her skirt.

Grace’s normal wardrobe was jeans or sweats and paint splatters. He could count the occasions he’d seen her in something else on one hand. But today she was wearing a skirt that hugged the curve of her hips, showed off her long legs. Her hair waved to her shoulders, most of the color hidden underneath the top layer of rich brown.

Though he’d been less than kind about her wardrobe in the past, he found she didn’t look any more or less beautiful dressed up. He liked her quite well either way. “You look lovely.”

Her mouth curved into a smile. “Thank you.”

“Well, I was thinking we could—”

“Knock, knock!” Mrs. McKnight bustled into the kitchen, Mr. McKnight at her heels. They carried KFC bags and smiles so fake it had to hurt.

Grace stared at them openmouthed for a minute before managing a smile. “Mom. Dad. What are you doing here?”

“We brought dinner. Kyle, you’re welcome to join us. We brought enough for an army.”

“Honey, Kyle looks like he’s going somewhere.” Mr. McKnight’s smile sharpened. “Night on the town? Big date?”

Kyle shared a brief glance with Grace; at her helpless look, Kyle shook his head. “No. Just back from a meeting, actually. I should go...”

“No.” Grace clamped her hand on his arm. “Eat with us. You can go find Jacob and anybody else who’s still around.” Grace smiled brightly. A fake bright smile to match her parents’.

Because he didn’t have a clue as to what else to do, Kyle nodded. “All right.” He pulled his arm from Grace’s grasp. “I’ll see who I can round up.”

“Wonderful.” Mrs. McKnight was unpacking food onto the table, Grace watching as she chewed on her bottom lip. Then Kyle realized Mr. McKnight was glaring at him, and he moved into action.

Kyle crested the stairs. Since Jacob’s office door was open and the lights on, Kyle went there first. Jacob was sitting at his desk, tapping fingers against the wood.

“Hey.”

Jacob spared him a cursory glance. “Hey.”

Kyle noticed the considerable chill, but tried to ignore it. “Your parents are downstairs. I guess we’re all having fried chicken.”

Jacob swiveled in his chair, smiled. “Date ruined, then?”

“I guess so.”

Since Jacob seemed awfully happy with that, Kyle stepped in front of him before he could exit the room. He considered his best friend, surprised things had turned, and so quickly. “Did―did you arrange this?”

“Arrange what?”

Kyle rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. Confusion. Discomfort. These were things that came with living life. Chaos. “Did you purposefully get your parents over here so Grace and I couldn’t go out?”

Jacob was quiet for a long time. Long enough Kyle was convinced he had. Long enough Kyle realized Jacob’s “I like you” speech from a few weeks back no longer applied.

“No, I didn’t.”

“You don’t want me seeing Grace.”

Again, silence was enough of an answer. He should go. Nothing about this conversation was headed in a place he could control, or really understand. His feet stayed rooted, blocking Jacob’s exit.

“Didn’t say that. She seems to think you understand her, and for now that’s great.”

“For now?”

“Yeah. I just... We’ve been friends a long time, Kyle. You don’t date as often as me, but you’re not exactly Mr. Reliable, and this is my sister. My sister who doesn’t date much because some guy beat the hell out of her years ago.”

“I would never hurt Grace.”

“Not like that. But are you willing to completely change who you’ve been? Because while I know there’s a decent guy under all your walls, you’ve never been willing to admit it to yourself before. She deserves a good guy.”

Kyle didn’t know what to say to that, how to explain he wanted to be what she deserved. Because even though he wanted it, Jacob’s doubts were enough to bolster his own.

“I’m not trying to scare you off, because she seems to think you’re important to her right now. I’m just saying, for our friendship, for our business, be very careful about this.” Jacob gestured to the hall. “Going to get out of my way?”

Kyle stepped to the side, let Jacob pass. For a few minutes the words and doubts clouded his judgment, told him to go back to his office, to end this before things got more complicated and messy.

But the words ringing louder and louder were what Jacob had said about Grace thinking Kyle understood her, that he was important to her.

He’d never been important to anyone before. Except maybe Jacob, and even that wasn’t the same as being important and needed and...wanted.

Kyle strode to the stairs. He wasn’t giving up on that so easily.

CHAPTER TWELVE

G
RACE
PICKED
AT
the chicken on her plate. She was flanked by Dad and Jacob and had a feeling the move to have them seated on opposite sides of her was very purposeful.

Kyle was sandwiched in between Leah and Mom. Mom was going on about one of her current students while Kyle listened and responded patiently. He didn’t look comfortable, judging from the rigid posture and the few bites of chicken he’d taken, but he was nodding and asking appropriate questions.

He was trying. It made her want to shoo everyone away and curl up in Kyle. She knew her family was trying, too. Trying to be all smiles and cheerful banter so no one would think about what was really lurking. It was nice, and it was better than lectures and directives, but it wasn’t the same as Kyle’s simple uncomfortable conversation with Mom.

Kyle was trying for her. Her family was trying for themselves. She couldn’t blame them. She’d probably be acting just like Jacob if the situation were reversed, but it wasn’t reversed. This was her life. And it was suffocating. The situation. Her family’s reaction to it. The fact that there was no way to make either better.

“I thought we could go see a movie tomorrow night, sweetie. We haven’t done that in ages.”

“Oh.” Grace wiped her fingers on her napkin and tried to smile at Mom. “I...um, have plans.”

“I’m sure plans can be rearranged,” Dad offered with a smile. Not a real smile, though. The weird, threatening smile he kept sending Kyle’s way.

“She’s coming to my book club,” Leah piped in. “Susan and I started it and Grace wanted to join.”

Both her parents looked relieved, and Grace would have to remember to thank Leah later. She’d go to a movie with Mom on another night. But she needed a break, and she needed Leah and Susan’s “book club.” It had been too long since she’d been at the gun range.

“What book are you reading?”

Grace coughed on a piece of biscuit, but Leah smiled brightly. “Oh, you know, that crazy sex book everyone is talking about.”

It was Jacob’s turn to choke on his food. Dad looked down at his plate uncomfortably, and it took every ounce of control for Grace not to bark out a laugh.

“Well... How nice.” Mom’s smile looked pained. “So how did your out-of-town meeting go, Jake? You never did tell us.”

As Jacob started to talk about work, Grace mouthed a thank-you to Leah, who winked in response. Grace’s gaze moved to Kyle. He was staring at her. She smiled. He smiled.

God, he was cute.

Dad cleared his throat and Grace practically jumped. “So, Gracie, how many paintings have you sold now?”

And so went dinner, and the rest of the evening. It was nearly ten before she convinced her parents to head home.

“We can take tomorrow off and—”

“Mom, go home. Go to work tomorrow. Take
Dad
to a movie. We can do something this weekend, okay?”

Mom managed a wobbly smile. “All right. All right. Call me tomorrow, though?”

Grace nodded, accepted yet another hug from Mom, then Dad. Once they were out the door, Grace turned back to the living room. Kyle and Jacob stood, hands shoved in their pockets and a considerable distance between them. Leah was curled up on the couch, having fallen asleep sometime during the third round of Trivial Pursuit.

“Should I wake her up?”

Jacob picked up a blanket from behind the couch and put it over her. “Eh, let her sleep.”

Then the three of them stood in the living room staring at one another. In silence. The only sound was Leah’s heavy breathing and the occasional groan of the house.

“Well, it’s late.” Jacob rocked back on his heels. Looked expectantly at Kyle.

Grace nodded. “Yes. It is late. You should go to bed.” Grace mustered up her best death glare, but Jacob didn’t notice. He was too busy staring at Kyle.

Kyle let out an audible breath. “All right,” he mumbled. “I think I’ll head off to bed.” Briefly, way too briefly, he touched her hand, squeezed. “Good night, Grace.” And then he walked to the stairs and disappeared up them.

“You know you’re still being an ass, right?”

Jacob smiled. “Brother’s prerogative.”

“And what exactly is your prerogative trying to prove? You like Kyle. A week ago you couldn’t have cared less if I got involved with him. Now suddenly you and Dad are glaring at him and being rude.”

“Maybe I do like Kyle, but that doesn’t mean he’s right for you. That doesn’t mean you should be getting involved with someone with everything else going on.”

“Oh, my God.”

“I’m just saying—”

“Yeah, I’m not interested at all in what you’re just saying.” Grace turned on a heel. If she was going to get through however long it took for this whole ordeal to end, she would have to keep as much distance from Jacob as possible, or their once-close relationship would be gone.

Grace hurried up the stairs. She had planned on calling it a night, heading to her room, maybe indulging a little self-pity, but as she walked down the hallway from the front stairs, she had to pass Kyle’s office. Which had a light on and the door cracked open.

Grace looked behind her. No Jacob to be seen. Grace slipped into the crack, doing her best to close the door silently.

“Grace—”

Grace put a finger to her lips. At this point, she wouldn’t put it past Jacob to barge right in if he had in fact followed her up the stairs.

It was tempting to crawl into Kyle’s lap, but he stood before she could act on the impulse.

“I feel like I’m too old to be sneaking around. Especially in my own house. Especially from your brother.”

But he whispered. Grace smiled and moved so they were close enough he could touch her if he felt so inclined. She really hoped he was so inclined.

When his fingers lightly brushed the hair at her temple, she grinned. “So that was some date.”

His expelled breath almost sounded like a laugh. “Yes, some date, indeed.”

“When are we going to reschedule?”

“Perhaps when your family moves to Alaska?” His hands smoothed over her shoulders, down her back, a delicious warmth following the movement as she had to step even closer. “I don’t think they’re going to give us much opportunity.”

“No. Doesn’t seem that way.”

“I was thinking you could be my date to MC’s anniversary party next Friday. Your family will be there, but by then everything should...die down.”

She knew what “everything” was, and hoped he was right. Every time her phone rang she jumped with the hope the police had caught Barry. Or proved he hadn’t done it and his disappearing meant he was dead in a ditch somewhere.

It probably made her a terrible person, but she was really hoping for the dead-in-a-ditch scenario.

“You don’t have to, of course. I just thought—”

“It sounds perfect.”

“Well, good.” He smiled. She smiled, and then she had to laugh.

His mouth brushed hers. Lingered. The good kind of shivery feeling wiggled its way down her spine, so she pressed closer, as close as she could. “We could sneak into your room,” she whispered against his mouth.

“The room in which I share a wall with Jacob?”

“We could sneak into my room?”

His breath sighed across her face as he pulled his head back a little. “Grace.”

“I’m not used to a guy playing hard to get. I didn’t really think that happened.”

“I’m not used to...” He trailed off, cupped her face with his hands. “I’m not used to anything this important. I don’t want to have to sneak, Grace.”

That was nice. Sweet. One of these days sweet and nice wouldn’t totally cut it, but for now it was really comforting.

So she kissed him again, sank into the feeling of nothing else mattering, and maybe one of these days it would actually be true.

Kyle squeezed her shoulders, then gently pushed her back a step, but then he rested his forehead on hers. “Good night, Grace.”

Grace chuckled, took the last few steps to the door. “Good night, Kyle.” She slipped back out the door and took a breath. The hall was dark; her room would be darker. Fear snaked its way around her lungs, but she pushed her legs forward, chanting her new mantra over and over.

Fear will not win.

* * *

K
YLE
DID
HIS
best to smile at the Martins, but they were driving him up the wall. Customers being overbearing or unreasonable didn’t normally bother him. He usually had nothing better to do than sort out the problems and complaints.

Usually
didn’t live here anymore.

“I’m sure Jacob will be here momentarily.”

“He’s been missing a lot of meetings lately.”

One. One meeting. If he missed this one, that would be two. Hardly a lot. Kyle smiled blandly. “Unfortunately, he’s been dealing with a family emergency requiring some of his attention. Leah and Henry said everything went well at your meeting yesterday.”

“Yes. I suppose.” Mrs. Martin rolled her eyes to the ceiling. “Though I think we’re paying a rather hefty sum, and that should give us the right to deal with the contractor directly.”

Kyle’s bland smile tightened. “Yes, of course. Why don’t I go see if I can find Jacob. Can I have Susan get you something to drink while you wait?”

The middle-aged couple sighed together. “I’ll take some coffee, black.”

Mrs. Martin waved regally. “Nothing for me.”

Kyle nodded and left the living room. He walked over to the formal dining room where Susan had her “office.”

“Could you make Mr. Martin some coffee?”

“Jacob and Grace are in the kitchen.” Susan chewed on her bottom lip and wrung her hands together. “With a police officer. Do you know what’s going on?”

Kyle’s heart stuttered for a second. Good news, he hoped hard for good news. “You can use the single-cup machine in Jacob’s office.”

Susan pressed her lips together. “The alarm thing, now the police. What’s going on, Kyle?”

“Nothing. Nothing for you to worry about. If Grace wants to tell you, that’s her choice. Now, the Martins are waiting, and they’re in a pissy mood.”

Susan glanced briefly at the kitchen, then sighed. “I’m going, I’m going.”

Kyle took a step toward the kitchen, but it wasn’t his business. It wasn’t his place. Barging in there or even eavesdropping would be wrong, but it took a lot of willpower to listen to that reasonable voice in his head.

Before Kyle could decide the best course of action, Jacob stomped out of the kitchen, then stopped short when he saw Kyle.

“News?” Kyle prompted, unable to wait and let Jacob tell him of his own accord.

Jacob nodded. “The police said they found the stuff used to start Grace’s fire in his trailer. Still no Barry, but all evidence points to his having done it.”

Kyle’s hands clenched into fists. “What can I do?”

Jacob looked at him, stared for a while longer than Kyle thought necessary. “She’s not taking it well, but she didn’t want me around.” Jacob took a deep breath and loudly released it. “I’ll take my meeting with the Martins. There’s nothing else for me to do. Will you—” Jacob shook his head, practically gritted out the words “—check on her?”

Though it surprised him, Kyle wasn’t about to ask questions. If Jacob was letting up, that was really all that mattered, especially if Grace needed someone.

“If she tells you to buzz off, you do it, got it? Only stay with her if she wants you to. Don’t be pushy. And nothing overly friendly. Be her friend. That’s it. A hands-off friend.”

Kyle refrained, barely, from reminding Jacob that pushy was exactly what the McKnights had been for the past two days. He kept his mouth shut and nodded. “I can get Leah to take the meeting if—”

Jacob shook his head, pushing past him. “No. I’ll do it. Maybe if I do it I won’t want to punch something.”

“I wouldn’t guarantee it,” Kyle muttered. He hurried up the stairs and down the hall to Grace’s room. Her door was closed, so he knocked lightly on it. When there was no answer, Kyle struggled to decide what was the best course of action.

Just as he was talking himself out of barging into the room or knocking until she opened it, the door slowly creaked open.

“Hi,” Grace offered. She’d been crying, but had obviously tried to hide the evidence. Then she let out a shaky sigh. “Well, I can tell by the pity on your face you already talked to Jacob.”

“Yes.”

She opened the door farther. “Might as well come on in, then.” She hugged herself as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. She walked over to her easel, keeping her back to him the whole time.

“If you don’t want me here, I’ll go. I just wanted to make sure you’re all right.”

She snorted. “All right? Yeah, I’m fantastic.” She poked around at the brushes she kept in a cup on the tray of the easel. “Barry burned my house down and I’m perfectly all right.”

“Grace.”

She picked one of the brushes out of the cup and twirled it in her fingers. “But we knew that, right? I wanted to believe it was some freak accident. I kept saying, what if it wasn’t him? What if? What if?” She threw the brush across the room, where it clattered against the wall and thudded to the ground.

Kyle’s stomach pitched, as it always did when startled by violence, no matter how small. Luckily her back was to him, so she couldn’t notice his body go rigid.

“Idiot. I knew. And now here it is, and damn it.” She took the cup of brushes and heaved it against the wall.

Kyle swallowed down the discomfort jangling through his veins. “Grace.” His voice was too rusty, too weak.

She pressed her palms to the wall, head hanging low. Kyle was too rooted to the spot to move, to offer comfort. He tried to work some words out, but he couldn’t. Unease and a familiar fear worked through him. It didn’t match the situation, but he couldn’t convince his brain of that.

She turned to look at him and must have seen the discomfort on his face, because her anger seemed to leak out of her. Limply she leaned back against the wall and slid into a sitting position. “I don’t want to be this girl anymore,” she said, tears spilling onto her cheeks. “I don’t want to be me anymore.”

BOOK: Too Close to Resist
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