Truth Meets Love (16 page)

Tralen clears his throat but before he can respond, Cody chimes in while giving Tralen a swift, hard shoulder slap. "Of course Tralen wants to celebrate his birthday with you. I wouldn't miss it, either. You girls want to go with me to take Loosey for a walk? I think these two could use some time to talk. Tralen, we'll catch up later on, yeah?"

Macey wiggles and with a more-than-excited hopeful eye bat, she asks Cody and Emily, "Can I hold her leash when we walk?" Emily nods and laughs as she leaves with Mace to go get their jackets.

Tralen says, "I am really just here to get some blueprints and then head back to Mags'. They are in Europe and I will be staying there for awhile. You can just bring Loosey there when you are done with your walk."

I am being dismissed. He doesn't want to talk. He is done with me. I hurt him. I need to leave.

"I will just be leaving. Cody, thanks for listening. Tralen, it was good seeing you…" I try to rush out so I can bolt for the door. I can feel the tension rumbling off him. He is having an internal struggle with himself--still at half-mast, mind you. Oh yeah, I looked.

"Wait" Cody snapped and threw a hand up from their former position, crossed over his chest. He looks irritated as he stares at Tralen. What was that about?

Chapter FIFTEEN

Pervert

Tralen -

Just let her go… why was he trying to stop her? The sight of her and not being able to touch her…Her proximity is wreaking havoc on my sense of calm. Her voice on the messages and the texts were bad enough. The visual was heart-wrenching. I wanted to lash out and tell her off--how much she hurt me, how I thought maybe she loved me back. It was all a lie to her, not even real to her… what did he say? "She likes to play… we got a little caught in the moment." I thought back to the moment in the "Wellness Room", knowing that was real to me. All I wanted was for her trust me enough to be honest with me.

"What?" I blurted, questioning his glare at me.

"You can't just let her go without talking this out with her. Hearing her out. This shit is fucked up. You do this shit and it is fucked up. You always walk away from your hurt and anger instead of facing it and letting it come out. You bottle it up and just push it down and try to ignore it. But I have news for you, Bro… you try to push this down and bury it… it will ruin you. You need to deal with your feelings and be honest with her--not for her, for yourself."

I glance at her and she is looking down at my shoes again, afraid to meet my eyes. She should feel guilty and ashamed. She lied to me by letting me think she might have cared about me and then one lap dance later, it was gone.

She squared her shoulders and found the courage to pull her eyes up and searched my expression. She was trying to form her thoughts into words of meaning.

I needed to strike first--what could she possibly say to take away the visual I get of her straddling him? I am pissed. She took something good and turned it to shit with one dance. I thought before that happened there was nothing more erotic or alluring than watching her dance…for me. I knew it was stupid but the first moment in the loft when I saw her head thrown back and her hands sliding down from her breast--when she trailed them across her belly, down to the inside of thigh and then around the pole as she clung to it and pulled herself up--I dreamed it was all for me. That she was dancing like that because she thought I was watching. Now that thought made me want to hit something… very fucking hard! She was probably thinking about Ben.

FUCK. I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE.

I started for my escape back out the back door and Cody yelled, "Well Hadley, maybe I need to tell ya about my brother's issues with home invasion and problems controlling his 'Peeping Tom' syndrome since he isn't manning up."

I froze… what the FUCK?!?!… What in the hell was he talking about? It registers… the LOFT and me keeping it from her. She deserved to know. It was innocent, though, not like he is making it sound--like I was perverted or something. I'm going to bash that little pecker's head in.

That little stunt had gotten her attention. She looked at me questioningly. Why did it even matter now? I was forming my vague explanation when Cody spouts off again, "He should also explain his fetish with taking nudie pictures of unsuspecting women in a vulnerable state and texting them to people without their consent."

What? Why would he say that? No, I didn't! I was about to defend as much when he leaned down to her, pulled his phone from his pocket and showed her something on the screen. Hadley's eyes flashed, first with confusion and then hurt, as she looked away and then back down to my feet.

"Honey, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. You look smoking hot… turquoise is my favorite color!" Cody chided as he shrugged and winked at her.

I was going to FUCK HIM UP… how did he get that picture? Why was he doing this to me after everything I had done for him--sacrificed for him? I gave up everything that I had worked for so I could give him a better quality of life. I had given up my college basketball scholarship to work and go to school so he could focus on his music… his dreams.

Why was he trying to hurt me? Worse, why was he trying to hurt her?

I make to grab that traitorous asshat and beat some sense into his stupid lying ass when she bolts out the front door. Was she crying?

The door slams and I turn my lasers back to Cody. He is smiling hugely… does he have any idea what he has just done?

I can't let her think that about me. Wait… what the FUCK does it really matter what she thinks anymore? I don't care what she thinks of me anyway…

He is reading every fucking thought that crosses my mind… he has always been able to do that, and it sucks royally. He plays me. He knows my buttons. Then it all comes clear and he sees it register on my face.

He got me.

To confirm, I ask, "You did that on purpose didn't you?"

Cody chuckles. "What do you think, dude? You were going fuck it up and I couldn't let you. I can see the way you look at her, stripper or not… I mean, it is like this with those girls; I would know. Either they are just girls that have stripped or they are 'strippers'… there is a big difference. I think we both know which one you just let walk out that door."

"You were baiting me to get me angry and blow on her so we would get it out in the open? Both of us?" I say more as an admission of understanding than question.

He nods, adding, "When you stubborn asses wouldn't budge, I had to go for the jugular… you would never hurt her intentionally and I know you could never let her live thinking you ever could."

I don't know whether to hit him or hug him. Why is he so convinced she is even worth a second thought? He's usually a pretty good judge of character, especially women, and can see a con from two paces back.

There is nothing she can say that will change what I saw between her and Ben when I thought she was mine. I don't think Cody gets how hard it is to even have to be in the same room, to smell her… FUCK… to see her. He has never even felt deeply for any one girl; I am sure he has never been in love with a woman. He's a player as solid as they come.

"You better go talk to her. I think you both have some explaining to do now!" Cody chuckles as he dashes for the door.

He has Loosey in tow, calling for Emily and Mace from the front porch, "Girls, ready to take Loosey on that walk now?"

Chapter SIXTEEN

Til' Death Do Us Part

Hadley -

I am standing in my entryway doing what I think is a mix between a giggle and a sob. My faith is slipping and for some reason, my level of stupidity is so sad it is funny to me. I wish Dez were here but she's not. Nobody is. Why does that story never get a happy ending?

What did he mean by Tralen invading homes and suffering from "Peeping Tom" whatever? Cody accused Tralen of taking naked pictures of me and sending them around to his friends… they are probably all over the Internet too! I saw the proof; he must have taken that when he undressed me after our "perfect" first date.

I thought it was something special. I can't believe I was worried about hurting HIM! I am such a fucking stupid bitch for thinking he actually had feelings for me. Nope, just like always, I am another C-cup with a pert little ass. Another AJ, another Luke, another Tralen--they are all the same. He didn't care about me; he was just pissed off that he thought he had lost me to Ben, like I was the perfect prize--the trophy that he lost to an unworthy opponent in a match of wills. It was just a bruised ego that was causing him distress. What a self-absorbed ASSHAT!

This is why I choose the career thing. Dez was right again: "Things are not always what you see on the outside."

I gather my thoughts and quickly think of options to slow my pounding heart. It is blown to shreds. I am more than surprised it is still beating… it should have bled out by now.

I hear a voice coming from behind me at the door. Why can I never remember to shut the door? Tyler is always scolding me for just leaving it hanging open all the time. He says I am too comfortable here. It is my home; of course I am comfortable here.

Well, I used to be, anyway. I was happy not long ago. What happened? This happened…

I turn to unleash all the fury I have been holding in. No more playing the game, dressing the part, worrying about my shoes or being ashamed of myself or what made me what I am.

I am not her
.

I have stood my ground. Outside of the lap dance incident with this stupid ass, I have been true to myself. I can almost feel the words of the ink on my back holding my heart up: TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE. She is here. Dez is with me. She said she always would be. I never should have doubted her.

I have got to hold onto what faith I have in myself, or I fail them. I can't let Mace see me give up. Look at what her mother sacrificed for her. She is worth it. I am worth it.

"You are not welcome here, Ben, get the fuck out of my home! You have tried to ruin everything I have ever worked for and hurt the only person I have ever truly loved. I am not sure what you said to get Tralen to believe that I would ever even consider the revolting notion of marrying you, but the last time I checked… HELL HAD YET TO FREEZE OVER!"

With that he lunges for me and he is on top of me. I am pinned to the couch and he has maneuvered us so that he is between my legs. I will have no hope of witnessing his balls come out his nose if I can't get my knee on the inside position. I squirm with everything I have and try knock him off balance. I get one hand loose and punch him hard in the throat. He flinches and draws back, and I roll.

We fall to the floor and he lands on me hard. I let out a humph and I see stars. He gets me pinned on my back and he crawls on top of me. He sits up and gathers both my wrists in one of his hands and sits firmly on my hips so I can't move. He is heavy and I don't have much strength left to hold him off.

"I thought you were just giving favors to get ahead, probably turning tricks," he pants out, still catching his breath from the exertion of holding me down. He takes a deep breath and continues, "I mean, when he told me to create the documents to turn it all over to you, I started doing some research on my competition and then asked to work with you on this Mathis deal. I could work you over and keep my hands out of the New York government naval contracts. Let Greyson take the fall for that one."

He shakes his head and chuckles, "When I realized the old bastard wasn't fucking ya, I knew there had to be more to it. I mean, he always told me I was like a son to him. He and his wife could never have children. I was it, I thought. I built up his trust and it was all going to be mine."

Oh great, now this cry ass has Daddy issues? He couldn't earn the role fair and square or see that I had on my own merit? Now he is turning this into something personal. Like by Greyson choosing me to succeed him, I took his father's love from him or something. This guy is whack! I thought I had issues…

While I am stilling thinking of an out, he continues, "I fucked up, though. I let you swing your sweet ass in my face and giggle at my jokes. Once I spent some time with you, I just wanted more of you, but you wanted him."

My eyes go wide as he pulls the knife from the back of his pants and brings it up to inspect…he has my full attention now. I freeze beneath him.

"Oh, I finally got through, huh? I underestimated you, I'll give you that. I thought you were a weak, self-loathing creature who would crater and be putty in my hands once I threatened your career. I saw how hard you worked… and he would never shut up about it. Singing your fucking praises right and left. I should have just killed you then," Ben snarls and the nightmare of what is happening becomes too real.

Just as he reaches back, blade gleaming, I close my eyes and brace myself for the blow I know is coming to my body. I see so many faces: Dez, Mace, Tyler, Shelby, Pugs… Tralen!

But it never comes…

Tralen-

I need to go after her. Cody is right about one thing. I could never belittle what I feel for her or sink to the level of not owning up to my feelings… even if it hurts.

I may not have meant anything to her, but she meant something to me. I am not afraid to admit that, even though I may be a fool. It doesn't change how she makes me feel. You can't pick who you love.

When I picture her now… I don't see her straddling him anymore… she was crying; her guard was down and her emotions were there, etched all over her face.

I see the image of her and the hurt I caused on her face when she hadn't heard from me and then thought I used her. I now know from personal experience the only way you can feel that kind of hurt is if you truly loved someone. She gave me that.

Any anger I had for what she may have had with Ben doesn't matter now that I know she loves me. I will fight for us.

We are worth fighting for. She is worth fighting for. Nicole wasn't. Hadley will always be. I want her. She is my dream come true. We need to give ourselves a chance. I can make her happy.

I need to start by telling her about the reception…tell her what watching her dance in the loft did to me… need to tell her why I took that picture. I don't recall sending it to Cody, but that wouldn't be the first thing about that night I can't remember!