Twice Blessed (32 page)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Emma took Belinda's hand and Sean's as they stood at the end of the church service. When Noah took Belinda's other hand, Emma struggled to keep her smile in place. Nothing must suggest they were not the happy family they had been even a few hours ago.

When Noah returned just as Gladys was putting breakfast on the table, he had said nothing to any of them. Gladys had chatted throughout the meal as if nothing seemed amiss, and Belinda had giggled with the housekeeper about something the two dogs had done. Sean was quiet and barely touched his eggs and bacon. Emma understood, because she was not hungry either.

Noah had been equally silent when they walked across the green with the sheriff in tow to attend church. Even during the service, he had not said anything, not even singing with the rest of the congregation. She knew he was deep in thought, but she could not guess what he thinking. She hesitated to ask. He might not tell her. Or he might, and her hopes that they could rebuild the trust between them would be decimated.

How could he think
she
had changed her heart simply because he had? Or had he changed his heart? Had he ever really loved her, or was she just a way to help him keep Belinda?

As she watched him tip his hat to Mrs. Parker, she wondered if she had let Noah bamboozle her exactly as Miles had. She had promised herself she would never let another man delude her and her heart. She had kept that promise until her heart refused to listen any longer to sense. That rebellion had begun the moment Noah had first come into her life.

“Awful,” Mrs. Parker was saying as she stood directly behind Emma in the aisle. She edged in front of Emma and stopped, paying no attention to the frowns of those who were waiting to walk out of church. “Just awful to hear someone is trying to spread these horrible lies about Noah and that sweet child.”

“It is awful, isn't it?” Emma replied, although she wanted to remind the sheriff's mother how often she had repeated gossip that was untrue.

“I hear that rude man is staying at the hotel.”

“Yes.” She glanced to where Noah and the children were now halfway to the church door.

“What was Mrs. Riley thinking to allow him to take a room there?”

“It's her business. She can't turn away folks simply because she doesn't like them.”

“I hope he doesn't try to speak to me.” Mrs. Parker put one hand on her waist and shook her other hand to emphasize her words as she added, “I fear I could not be polite to such a despicable man.”

“Yes, I can understand how difficult that would be.” She saw Reverend Faulkner was talking to Sean as if today were no different from any other Sunday. Pushing past Mrs. Parker, she said over her shoulder, “Excuse me, Mrs. Parker.”

“Well!” she heard the older woman exclaim, but Emma did not turn to apologize. Circumventing any more questions would be wise, because Emma did not want to do anything to jeopardize the already precarious situation.

She realized she had been worrying needlessly. The rest of the townsfolk seemed eager to avoid her. Although she guessed it was because, for once, they did not know what to say to her, she never had felt so alone. Not even when she had left Kansas and traveled to the Mississippi and up the river to the Ohio and then followed the Ohio to this small town whose name offered what she was seeking. Then, when she had fled, she had known she had no other choice but hanging. Now she had so many choices, but all of them urged her to return to her husband's arms.

“Good morning, Emma,” Reverend Faulkner said as she reached the church's door. “How are you faring today?”

“As well as can be expected.” She wished she could tell this man she trusted every bit of the truth. Maybe he would have some counsel to ease the chasm that had opened this morning between her and Noah.

“Hold on to your faith that it will all work out.”

“I'm trying to.”

“Noah seems to be holding up very well under these difficult circumstances.”

She followed his gaze to where Noah had paused as Kenny ran up to him. The telegraph operator handed him a slip of paper, and Noah opened it. The message must have been short, because he folded it quickly and put it beneath his coat, nodding his thanks to Kenny. Belinda still had her hand in his, and Sean …

Emma smiled through her sadness. Sean was standing on the other side of the green and talking with Jenny Anderson. The sight of the two friends was comforting, because not everything had fallen apart since she had said her vows with Noah and their lives had been thrown into a jumble.

“If you need me,” Reverend Faulkner said, taking her hands in his warm ones, “don't hesitate to send for me.”

“Thank you.” She had meant few words as sincerely in her life.

Emma hurried down the steps, again noting that everyone seemed to be busy with other conversations as she approached. Yet, she felt their curious glances on her back when she passed.

Noah held out his arm to her as she reached them. She gazed into his dark eyes while she put her hand on it. How could she ask him to forgive her? He already knew she had not meant this to unfold as it had. She was unsure how she could ask him to forgive her for falling in love with him.

“Did you get good news about a lawyer?” she asked softly.

“Lawyer?”

“I saw Kenny deliver a message to you. I assumed you have sent to Chicago for legal help.”

“This isn't the place to speak of such things.”

His tone was so cold that she recoiled. His voice had been this icy the day he had accused Sean of stealing from his buckboard. He had forgiven Sean, but the rage tightening his face suggested he could not forgive her, too. His fingers over hers on his arm kept her from running to the house, where she could hide from him and everyone while she let her tears fall.

When a hand tugged on her skirt, Emma looked down at Belinda. The little girl was holding a bunch of dandelions.

“For me?” Emma asked as she bent to run a finger over the flowers.

“Aren't they pretty?” She shoved the blossoms into Emma's hand.

She nearly dropped the dandelions, which had been picked so near the yellow petals there were barely any stems remaining beneath the flowers. “Very pretty.”

“Can we put them in a vase?”

“Maybe a glass would be better, because then you could look at them more easily.” She did not want to tell Belinda that the flowers, with their short stems, would fall out of the vase or sink into the water.

“A glass would be better,” Belinda said with a grin at Noah.

“Emma knows all about these things,” he replied. “You can trust her.”

Was there a thaw in his voice? Emma did not dare to press, for his tone might be only because they stood on the green where the other villagers seemed reluctant to leave. Her anger threatened to burst forth.

“Let's go home.” When Belinda regarded her with dismay, Emma knew her cheerful voice had been too artificial. She gave up all attempt to pretend nothing was wrong as she added, “We want to get these pretty flowers in water right away.”

Belinda giggled and began to skip across the green. Right past where Gilson was coming out of the hotel, Emma realized. Would he try to snatch the little girl in front of all these witnesses?

Noah tightened his hand over hers before she could give chase. “Wait,” he murmured.

“For what?”

“For that.”

She relaxed when she saw Sean race to catch up with Belinda. Grasping her hand, he twirled her about, leading her away from where Gilson had paused at the bottom of the stairs on the narrow front porch of the hotel. Gilson was staring at Belinda, frowning. Belinda's giggles filled the shockingly silent green as Sean shouted a challenge for her to try to beat him back to the house.

Gilson walked along the main street in the direction of the river. Emma wished he would go to the railroad station and buy a ticket for the next train north.

“Let's go,” Noah said in a hushed voice. “We need to get those flowers in water.”

She saw he was smiling, and she tried to do the same as she went with him toward her house. When Lewis fell in behind them like a well-trained soldier, she heard the buzz of whispers. The rest of the churchgoers began to scatter away from the green.

“The show is over,” Emma said, not hiding her frustration.

“Show?”

“Noah, don't be obtuse.”

“Again?”

She fisted her hand on his arm. “This isn't the place, as you reminded me, to speak of such things.”

“Point well taken.” Again his voice eased from its frigid fury. “So what show are you talking about?”

“The confrontation between you and Gilson. Right here on the green in front of them.”

“Do you think they'd prefer a duel with pistols at ten paces or just fisticuffs?”

“Which would you prefer?” she asked, knowing that she was moving the conversation into perilous territory. She feared she had little more to lose.

“Neither. I'll meet Gilson in court and trounce him legally.”

“I'm not speaking of him now.”

Noah stopped on the steps to the house's front porch. As Butch bounded out, followed by Belinda's puppy, he moved aside while they chased some hapless squirrel toward a tree in Alice Underhill's yard. “You're speaking about you and me, aren't you? Why?”

“You're shutting me out, Noah. I know you believe you have no reason to trust me now, but you must. I'm your most ardent ally. I'd do anything to help you keep Belinda.”

“I know.” He sighed and put one foot on the lowest step. He halted and, turning, pulled her into his arms. “I know you'd do anything to help us.”

She pressed her face to his chest, not caring if everyone within a dozen miles of Haven was watching. “I wondered if you'd ever hold me again.”

“What?” He tilted her face back. “Why would you think that?”

“After I told you about what happened in Kansas, you walked out and slammed the door. Then you said nothing all morning.” She felt the most peculiar yearning to laugh as she asked, “What was I supposed to think? You are so angry.”

“My anger isn't focused on you.”

“It seems to be.”

He ran his finger along her cheek. “I have to admit I was upset that you had never told me about … about what happened seven years ago, but I've spent this morning trying to decide how to defeat Gilson in court.” His gaze became a gentle caress. “Sweetheart, I was so lost in my thoughts I didn't notice your distress.”

“I thought you were so furious with me that you couldn't forgive me.”

“Sweetheart, you have to trust me more. I wouldn't shut you out if I was angry.” A hint of smile tugged at his lips. “I would let you know.”

“Instead of saying nothing?”

“I forget that you don't know I become very focused on solving a problem and fail to notice most of everything else until I have a solution.” He paused as he heard Belinda laughing inside the house. “I'm so used to Belinda and Gladys knowing that I never considered you'd think I was furious with you.”

“You have every right to be.” She sighed. “I'm sorry I have complicated matters.”

“I agree. You have.” He caressed her cheek. “But you have nothing to be sorry for. If my past hadn't intruded, you would never have needed to worry about what happened to you causing problems.”

“Don't worry that he can find out more than I have told you, because there's nothing else.”

“He
will
introduce your past at the hearing.”

“If he has found out the truth.”

“I suspect he has or will by the time the hearing begins a week from tomorrow.” He pulled out of his pocket the piece of paper Kenny had given him. “This is a listing of all the messages your buddy Atherton telegraphed during his brief stay in Haven.”

“Kenny gave you his messages?” she asked, astounded. The telegraph operator guarded the confidentiality of incoming and outgoing messages as zealously as she had her past.

“No, just where he sent them. Most of them are to Chicago, but there are several to Kansas.”

“Noah, I'm so sorry.”

He put the page away and tipped her face up to his again. “I told you once that the past is the past, and we have to learn to deal with it. I learned to handle the grief in mine. Now we have to figure out a way to put yours to rest.”

“I was doing well with that until you came to town.” This time, she did not resist laughing.

“Make me a promise.”

“Of course.”

“Promise me you'll let me handle this. I have some ideas of how to halt Gilson.”

“Tell me what I can do to help.”

“Watch over the children, stay away from Gilson, and put up with my silences through this.”

“I will.”

“Promise me, sweetheart. You'll stay away from Gilson and will watch over the children.”

“I promise.”

As he kissed her, she wondered how long she could go on pretending as if she believed they could defeat Gilson when he had the law on his side. How much longer could she act as if she feared only for Belinda? She knew the answer. They would pretend as long as they must, for otherwise she would have to admit how much she feared her second husband would meet his end in a noose, as her first had.

Noah reread the message he had written at the table in the bedroom where Emma had delighted him last night with her sensual touch. Here he could work without the chance of Belinda coming in. She was eager to test her new reading skills on everything. Although she might not understand these words, he must keep her from asking Emma or Sean or Gladys to explain one of the words or phrases when Gilson might overhear.

The message was not a short one, but Noah had to make himself very clear. These telegrams he had been sending were costing far more than a small fortune. The next one needed to go to his brother so Ron could arrange to have more funds sent to Haven. He was not asking for more than a few hundred dollars. He doubted if he would need more. Gilson's plan could not have included bankrupting the factory, because Gilson wanted to control Belinda's one-third share of it and reap the profits of the Sawyer family's toil.