Two Loves (25 page)

‘My mother? Are you mad? Of course she had nothing to do with it. Do you think she's some sort of monster? I'm shocked that you felt you needed to ring. She may be ruthless but she's not cruel. I'm really shocked.'

‘For God's sake, try to understand how I'm feeling for once. My son is missing! We've looked everywhere, done everything. And now my stepfather is beginning to suspect that some wretched pervert may have lured him away. It happens, for God's sake, it happens. And I'm too frightened to think about it.'

A moment's silence. ‘I wish I could help you, I really do. My mother had nothing to do with it though. That's all I can say.'

*   *   *

‘They know nothing, Mum.'

‘Don't say anything else, Brian. Don't even think it. It doesn't help. The police are searching for him and they've circulated his description to other areas. They can't do more.
We
can't do more.'

Rosamund drove back to the schoolhouse, somehow feeling the need to be there. She was light-headed with anxiety. There'd been no phone-call. Martin left as soon as she got back. She had nothing to say to him, simply watched him hurrying towards his bike and vaulting onto it.

She stood by the open door looking down at the valley. It was beginning to get dark, a few white stars piercing the violet-blue sky. Her heart felt pierced, too. If only she knew Joss was safe and well, she would ask for nothing more. The air was cool and scented, but the exaltation of the morning, the drowsy happiness of the afternoon seemed a mockery and pitiful.

*   *   *

The phone rang. Thomas. ‘We know where he is, love. We're just going to fetch him. Hold on. Phone your mother. Tell her we know where he is. Tell her he's safe.'

Safe. Numb with shock and relief, Rosamund rang Marian who failed to say a word, only passed the receiver to Brian who said he'd felt sure he was safe all along, and then abruptly put the phone down.

Rosamund went back to stand outside. Tears streamed down her face. ‘Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.' Her voice didn't sound like hers. Where was he? When would Thomas bring him home?

Marian and Brian drove up. ‘Where is he? When will he be home?'

‘I don't know. But I know Thomas is doing all he can. He didn't have time to talk. He's safe. That's all that matters. He's safe.'

‘We've brought some brandy, dear. Let's go in and have a stiff drink.'

Brian put his arm round Rosamund and squeezed her. He looked old and haggard; in the twilight the lines on his face were deep and blue.

Half an hour passed. No further news from Thomas. No further news. They were too overwrought to talk to one another. Even Marian, who could never bear to be idle, sat quietly with her hands in her lap.

Another car, and this time it was Thomas. He burst in, hugged Rosamund and then Marian, shook Brian's hand and went on shaking it. ‘He's all right. He's in the cottage hospital. They're keeping him in tonight, but he's all right. You can go along to peep at him if you want to, but I promised Sister you wouldn't wake him.'

Still unable to say a word, Rosamund followed Thomas to his car.

‘We won't come to the hospital, dear,' Marian said. ‘Now that we know he's safe and well, we'll wait till tomorrow morning.' She and Brian got into their car and followed Thomas down the hill.

‘Mrs Jordan is with my lot,' Thomas said. And then: ‘I'm afraid it was all Martin's doing.'

Chapter Twenty-One

He was awake, very small and pale in the white bed.

‘Mum, I've got six stitches.' He held out his arm, the soft, tender, inner part and showed it to her. Six little black stitches in a straight line and some deep-yellow medication. ‘But Mum, they won't even put a bandage on it.'

‘It'll heal better without,' Thomas said, since Rosamund seemed far beyond saying anything. He hoped she wasn't going to faint. ‘Sit down,' he told her. ‘For God's sake, sit down.'

‘Martin forgot about me,' Joss said.

‘He's going to be punished,' Thomas said grimly. ‘He's going to be punished, I can assure you of that.'

‘He gave me a ride on the bar of his new bike, though. And I did ask to go with him … Mum, can I have a kitten?'

‘Yes,' Rosamund said, her voice gentle, but a little hoarse.

‘Why don't you ask her for a tiger, man, or a lion? She's not going to refuse you anything tonight.'

A nurse came up to them, very young but reassuringly solid in her heavy black shoes. ‘I'm afraid I must ask you to go,' she said. ‘He must sleep or Dr Clifford won't let him out in the morning.'

Rosamund bent to kiss him. ‘You got hold of a bottle of teething-drops when you were a baby and drank it all. I didn't think anything in life could be worse than that.'

*   *   *

‘It was Mary-Louise who put me onto it,' Thomas said when they were back in the car. ‘She rang to say she'll be home on the first train tomorrow, and just before she put the phone down, asked if Martin had been to feed the cats. Apparently he'd forgotten yesterday until quite late. “Don't ring off, Mary-Louise,” I said. “I know nothing about him feeding any cats. Whose cats are they?”'

‘She couldn't tell me much except that his friend Andrew was in Majorca with his parents and that Martin had been paid to feed the cats every day after school. She thought the cleaning woman was doing it in the morning.

‘“What's all this about feeding Andrew's cats?” I asked Martin. “I've already done it,” he said with that shut, sulky look which is almost permanent with him these days. But the way he spoke and immediately looked away alerted me that this was something different. “Where does Andrew live?” I asked. “Right outside the village. I don't know what the lane's called. Towards Admington.” “Take me there.” “When? After school tomorrow?” “Now. This minute.” “Joss is there,” he said.

‘The only thing I can say in his defence is that he seemed relieved to be found out. I think things had gone much further than he'd intended.'

‘He took Joss there on the bar of his bike?'

‘Yes. He saw Joss outside Marian's house and offered him a lift.'

‘How strange that no one saw them. Brian went round all the new houses.'

‘Incredible, I know. Anyway he told Joss where he was going and apparently he wanted to go with him. The house is about half a mile down this lane and quite isolated – it would be, wouldn't it? Martin unlocked the back door and they went through to the kitchen where Joss discovered that one of the cats had four kittens, just old enough to climb out of the basket to play. After opening a tin of cat food and putting down some water, Martin went up to Andrew's bedroom to look at something, then wanted to leave. And according to him, Joss begged to stay a while longer, so he said he'd leave him there for a time. And – again according to him – that was the first moment he'd thought of shutting him up there. Anyway, that's what he did. Christ knows why.'

‘To punish me,' Rosamund said sadly. ‘He can't have believed you when you told him I wasn't responsible for Eliza's death. He hates me, I know. And in a way you can't blame him. I wonder how long he intended to leave Joss there? All night?'

‘He won't tell me that. Perhaps he doesn't know.'

‘Poor little mite. You'd think he could have got out, though. Wasn't there a phone?'

‘A phone point, but they must have disconnected it and put it away. Probably thought the cleaning woman – or Martin – would use it. And the house was completely burglar-proof, everywhere double-locked. Joss finally smashed a tiny window in the pantry and tried to squeeze out. Which is how he ripped his arm open.'

‘I want to be sick.'

‘No, you don't. Take a deep breath. I haven't got time to stop. I've got to run Mrs Jordan home and you still have to talk to Marian and Brian.'

‘I'd better come with you, hadn't I, to babysit?'

‘No, they'll be all right for twenty minutes. Stephen is almost fifteen. And I don't particularly want you to have to face Martin tonight.'

‘He'll probably have a harder time facing me.'

‘I hope so. I hope he isn't completely without remorse. What am I going to do with him, Rosie?'

‘There isn't an answer to that. He's suffering too.'

‘I said I was going to take his bike away from him, but I don't suppose I will. Eliza bought it for him and it would only make him more angry and intractable. I may ask the Head to have a word with him, pointing out what might have happened. I've said enough, but hearing it from someone else could have more effect.'

‘Joss could have cut an artery. Could have bled to death.'

‘Anyway, he didn't. Thank heavens.'

‘Thank heavens,' Rosamund echoed fervently. ‘Thank heavens. Whatever that means.'

‘Good night, love. Sleep well.'

‘I won't sleep a wink.'

‘Do you want to come home with me, then? I'll stay awake with you.'

‘It's all right, love. I'm just being melodramatic, I suppose. Thanks, Thomas.'

*   *   *

‘He was punishing me,' Rosamund said when she was telling Marian about Martin. ‘And perhaps it was fair.'

‘I'm not going to go on talking to you, dear, if you're in that silly mood. Punishment indeed! It's Martin who needs punishment, it seems to me.'

‘He thinks I'm the cause of his mother's suicide.'

‘His father should have put him right, then, about that.'

‘He did try, but Martin is a stern judge. And, oh Mum, my conscience troubles me.'

‘You were both very lonely people.'

‘I know that. At the time it seemed something tender and comforting and relatively unimportant. But everything you do can have repercussions which don't bear thinking about. The only thing I remember from my O-level Science is that frightening law: Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Too dreadful to think about.'

‘Then don't think about it. Go to bed, dear, and have a good sleep. You've had a terrible ordeal – well, we all have – but it's ended happily. Brian and I will be up to see him tomorrow. And I daresay we'll buy him a few odds and ends to keep him occupied till he gets back to school. So go to bed, dear, and no more talk of a guilty conscience, I beg you.'

*   *   *

Rosamund was allowed to fetch Joss at ten the next morning.

He was subdued at first, trying to work out whether Martin had really intended him harm. ‘He was a bit cross because 1 wanted to play with the kittens instead of coming home, but I thought he'd come back after having his tea. The kittens are so sweet, Mum, black and fluffy with blue eyes and they kept climbing right over my shoulders and down my back and peeing in my shoes. And I played with them for ages and ages. But then I started to feel hungry and I couldn't open any of the doors or windows to get out and I got rather frightened. I turned lights off and on as a signal but I don't think anyone noticed because it was still light outside. And I did worry about you waiting for me, honestly Mum, but I couldn't do anything about it. I looked all over for a phone but there wasn't one. I found biscuits and chocolate though, and a full bottle of coke, so that was all right for a while, but when it was nine o'clock I decided to break the pantry window and climb out. But I fell against a jagged piece of glass and had to get myself down to wash the blood off.'

‘Oh darling, was there a lot of blood?'

‘Gallons. I got a tea-cloth and put it round my arm and went to lie on the sofa to watch television, but the blood came through and made me feel sick. But after a while Thomas came, so then it was all right. I don't know why Martin was being spiteful to me except Thomas says he's spiteful to everyone since Eliza died. But it wasn't my fault, was it?'

‘I don't think he meant to be spiteful to you, darling, but to me. You see, he blames me for Eliza's death.'

‘I know. He thinks Eliza was jealous because you and Thomas were friends, but I think people
should
be friends with people.'

‘Thomas loved Eliza very much, but she was always busy with her very important job, and didn't realise it.'

‘I miss Eliza. She was cross sometimes, but sometimes she was good fun.'

‘Thomas misses her too.'

‘I know. Sometimes he's very sad and won't talk to anyone, not even me … Mum, can we go down and choose a kitten as soon as Andrew Newman comes home from holiday? Oh Mum, they growl and spit and arch their little backs pretending to be fighting. They're really fierce. Can we go on Sunday?'

‘Of course, darling. We want the best one, don't we?'

‘I did try to clean the blood from the sofa, Mum, but I only seemed to make it worse.'

‘No more talk of blood, please, Joss. Granny's got some special stain remover. I'm sure Brian will manage to get it off.'

‘Mum, wouldn't it be terrible if I'd bled to death?'

Rosamund didn't answer. Simply put her hands over her ears.

*   *   *

Martin came up on his bicycle after school. Rosamund watched him walking towards the door, his face clenched as a fist.

‘I'm to apologise to you,' he said.

‘Is that it?'

Even more curtly, ‘I'm sorry.'

‘Do you want to come in?'

‘No. No thanks.'

‘I think you should apologise to Joss too. He had to have six stitches in his arm and a night in hospital. He's in the garden.'

‘Thomas only said I was to apologise to you.'

‘Well, you have. Do you feel any better for it?'

‘Not really.'

‘You think I deserved it? All that worry? That anguish?'

‘I suppose so. Yes.'

‘So there's not much point in saying any more, is there? You can tell Thomas that I accepted your apology in the same spirit as you offered it.'