Two Weeks With a SEAL (The Wakefield Romance Series) (8 page)

Chad's SEAL Team leader,
Austin French, pulled his wicker lawn chair over next to my right hand side as
I munched away on the salad that Rosa had made, washing it down with some more
wine that she had handed me. "Randy was a good boy, and a good
solider," he said to me, drawing a pattern in the dirt between his cowboy
boots with a long thin twig. I nodded at him, meeting his brown eyes for the first
time. He was probably thirty-three or four, his dark, buzzed hair tipped with
grey. His eyes bore small wrinkles on the sides, baring witness to the things
he had probably seen. His hands were big and rough looking, his Carhart jacket
being old and worn at the sleeves. His jeans were faded and ripped above the
knee, but I could tell this man took care of himself. I also noticed that he
chewed like Chad, the familiar bulge in his bottom lip and the empty Pepsi can
always at his side. His Black Lab, Nan, bounded around after Daisy, both dogs
having a hay day in the open land.

"He was a great
brother," I say to him, giving him a sweet smile that he returns nodding
his head as he continues to draw on the ground with the stick. "Were you
Team Leader when he was killed," I asked and then immediately regretted it
as silence fell around me, all of the faces turning to look at Fred and I.
"Oh, um, I'm sorry," I stutter, trying to cover my tracks, Fred
throwing his hand up to silence me and it brings tears to my eyes.

"Yes, ma'am, I was
Team Leader then, as I am now," he said sternly, his eyes never meeting my
face, his jaw set.

"I didn't mean to
say anything wrong," I say, resting my hand lightly on his arm. He nodded
his head, but I could feel all of the faces still on me. My skin flushed, my
emotions running crazy bringing both angry and sad tears to my eyes. Standing
up abruptly, I tossed the blanket from my legs, throwing my un-eaten food into
the fire I wrapped my jacket around me, brushing Chad's hand off as he tried to
grab at my arm, heading towards the lonely road, away from the cabin. "Let
her go," I heard Kendall yell, but it was already off in the distance, the
tree line and the looming darkness blocking my view of the bonfire.

I could barely see the road
as I stumbled down it, branches and stones almost tripping me as tears streamed
down my face. It was silly the rage I was feeling from all of their eyes on me,
my hands clenching at my sides as I turned into the woods by a huge blue spruce
tree trunk. The rage stemmed from my anger over Randy's death as well and not
being able to see my brother, or share important things with him. I can't bring
him back. I can't change the past, but I don't have to stop wishing every once
in a while that I could.

The dead leaves and
branches crunched under my boots as I trudged along, wiping the tears away with
quick angry swipes, stopping my path and leaning against an old birch tree.
Gripping onto two low lying branches, I shook myself, the anger rolling through
me and a scream coming out, my breath steam in the air. I screamed till my
throat gave out, strong arms encircling my waist and spinning me around,
pulling me into him.

Chad's Old Spice scent
washed over me, but I was too far into my rage, my balled up hands pounding
furiously at his sweatshirt covered chest, my forehead resting against it
feeling the vibration every time I struck him. "Stop now," he said,
his arms trying to force mine down, "stop it now Ray, you're okay. They
didn't mean to make you feel bad," his cheek was against the top of my
head, his warm breath mingling with my hair.

"No," I cried,
hitting his chest, "Randy left me, then my mother left me, now....now
you'll leave me and I'll be all alone," I sobbed, the stream of tears
picking up as I buried my face in his sweatshirt, giving up on my assault of
fists. I gripped the cloth in my hands as if I could pull him any closer to me,
his arms squeezing me tight, his hands rubbing up and down my back. "You
can't leave me Chad, not after I've just found you. I love you too much for you
to leave," I cried, my words hitching as my throat dealt with my tears.
"I love you," I whispered into his chest.

"Ray," his
voice loomed over me, his hands pulling my face from his sweatshirt to look up
at his, the darkness seemingly disappearing between us. "Ray, I...I love
you too, I always have." That little sentence broke my heart, my hands
running up to meet his cheeks, pulling his lips to mine. "I'll leave, but
I'll always come back," he breathed out between our joined lips, his hands
running into my hair and one down to my waist. "I'm sorry I waited so long
to really tell you," he whispered against my neck as his hand un-zipped my
jacket, his fingers running over my chest and stomach.

"Chad," I
breathed out, my fingers unbuttoning his jeans, unzipping them as he does the
same to me. I stop his hands for a second, his eyes meeting mine, "When
did you know you loved me," I ask, working my jeans down to my ankles,
slipping my left leg free of them, the cold air biting at my skin.

"When I was
fifteen," he whispered into my lips then kissed them softly, his thumb
massaging into my neck causing my head to tilt to give him better access to my
neck and that spot at the crook of my neck that he always brushed with his
lips, sending me reeling. "It was the summer and you had on a little
yellow sundress, sitting on the swing behind our trailer. When I pushed you
lightly, your laugh pierced my heart and I was a goner. For the last fifteen
years I've never loved another," he kissed my lips again and I could feel
a smile breakout, "When did you know," he asked, his tongue darting
out to trace my top lip.

"When I was
five," I say, my hands running over his chest and shoulders, his hands
lifting me up to wrap my legs around his waist. "You were climbing the
maple at the park and I was following you, Randy was on the ground. I started
to slip and you caught my wrist, saying 'I'll never let you go', and
I
was a goner, your blue eyes had me hooked." He pushed my back up against
the tree, his lips finding mine, "I love you."

"I love you,"
he whispered on my lips, the echoes of it seemingly lasting forever as he made
love to me right there, our breath turning to steam, our hearts melting into
one. He knew. I knew. We held each other, perched up against the tree, just
kissing one another, this time as happy tears trickled down my cheeks. I could
have died in that very moment and left this life happy, with no regrets. After
getting dressed, we walked slowly hand in hand back to the cabin, the bon fire
still roaring as the others sat around it, watching us approach.

"I'm sorry for
acting like a brat," I say, feeling a slight blush rush my face, being
glad that it was dark out. Smiles meet me, Rosa and Kendall each giving me a
slight wink as they both stand, the men issuing some 'sorrys' along with 'it's
okays'.

"Come on
girl," Kendall said, weaving her arm into mine as Rosa did the same on the
other side, "let's go get you a drink."

Pulling me into the
cabin, Kendall and Rosa shed their jackets, practically ripping mine off,
dragging me into the kitchen and placing me on one of the stools at the island
where the remnants of dinner sat. "Glasses," Rosa said to Kendall,
disappearing into the living room. Kendall smiled at me, placing a rocks glass in
my hand as I snagged a forkful of macaroni salad, throwing a few ice cubes in
the glass as I held it up to her.

Rosa was humming when
she returned, her arms hidden behind her back, "Now ladies I have two
choices," bringing her left arm up she revealed a bottle of Jack Daniels,
my favorite, and I raise my hand. In her right arm she holds up a bottle of
Puerto Rican Rum and Kendall squeals with delight. Cracking open the bottles as
I grab three cans of Pepsi from the fridge, both of them say at the same time,
"So what happened in the woods?"

I couldn't help but
blush and bite my lip, Kendall immediately knowing what that meant, her mouth
going open as she pointed at me. "He told me he loved me," I said,
taking a sip from the glass Rosa had poured me, the Jack burning all the way
down, an 'ahhh' sound emanating from my throat. I don't think Kendall's eyes
could've gotten any wider, her red lips latched onto the edge of her glass
bracing for me to say something else. "He said he's been in love with me since
he was fifteen," my eyes started to tear again, this time in happiness as
Chad's words ran through my mind.

"Oh Ray,"
Kendall said and I could see the moisture lining her lashes, her hand placed on
top of mine. I knew she was worried about me and how this would hurt me if it
ended, but I hoped that in that single moment she was more happy for me than
anything. I gave her a smile, Rosa raising her glass and cheering me and Chad,
the taste of the liquor making us all wince and then laugh hysterically.

As dawn approached the
three of us sat in the kitchen, drinking and talking, finally being flung over
shoulders and carried to bed. Winking at Kendall as she waved from Timmons's
shoulder, I said a slurred goodnight to Rosa as Reno shut the door behind her,
her wiggling fingers being the last thing I saw. Chad threw me down on the bed,
forcing a loud burp from my throat, a silly giggle following as he tugged at my
boots. Managing to strip myself, I leaned up on one elbow to watch him in the
weak light, his defined muscles coming out inch by inch as he shed his
clothing. He smiled at me over his shoulder as he dropped his jeans and I
rolled my eyes at him, throwing myself onto my pillow. His warmth washed over
me as he slid into bed, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me into
him.

"I love you
drunkie," he chuckled in my hair, the vibration rumbling through his
chest. This man, he was perfect. This man, was finally mine.

"I love you
Chadwick Payne."

Rosa, Kendall and I sat
around the wood stove that morning, or well, it was more like afternoon,
waiting for the men to come back from their venture into the woods. Kendall was
gushing about her tryst with Timmons last night; how she had to show him how to
kiss and this and that, meanwhile Rosa and I just sit there, slowly drinking
our tea, laughing at the absolutely ridiculous parts of her story. 'I swear you
guys, the kid's thing was this big," she held out her hands making an
outlandish size description, Rosa and I looking at each other and bursting with
laughter.

It felt good to be
around these two women and they got along great, our cheery laughter flowing
through the lonely cabin. Leaving Kendall and Rosa downstairs as they
straightened the living room and kitchen, I made the bed in the master bedroom,
throwing Chad's dirty clothes in the wicker hamper. My phone starts vibrating
on the night stand and picking it up I see it's a text message from Chad's mom,
Dana. '
Hope you kids are being safe. Love u both'
making me smile and I
sent back a
'We are, we love u too. C u tomorrow.'

Straightening the
comforter, I plopped down on the semi-squeaky bed, pulling on a pair of jeans
and thick socks. It was colder than yesterday, being only thirty-two degrees,
snow covering the ground when we got out of bed this morning. It was all melted
now, but the chill hung in the air so I threw some more wood into the stove as
I got off the stairs. Putting my arms through Chad's camo zip-up hoodie, I
shuffled into the kitchen where Kendall and Rosa were busy making lunch.
"Smells good ladies," I smile, both of them chattering away about how
I can help them, pushing bowls, vegetables and knives my way.

The three of us had
tackled a five quart crock pot of beef stew, still simmering when the guys all
piled into the house around three. Kendall and I had our legs thrown over
Rosa's lap, each doing the other's toe nails while Rosa switched between
painting our finger nails. Reno kissed her on the cheek, shaking his head at
the three of us as he followed the others into the kitchen, their groans of
delight filling the once silent cabin. "What smells so good," Timmons
said and I could hear the lid of the crock pot being set on the counter, the
glass dinging on the tiled top.

"Get outta
there," I yell, the muffled 'oh shits' and 'put it downs' making Kendall
laugh. Coming back into the living room, I notice that Timmons has my brother's
shotgun in his hands, "Where'd you get that," I ask, pointing at it
with my still wet fingernails. I sounded sharp and that was for a reason. That
gun was my brother's and no one should be touching it.

Timmons held it up as if
to say 'What? This?', a dumb founded look on his face. "Um, Chief let me
use it," he pointed to Chad.

"That's Randy's
gun," I say to Chad, a heat boiling under my skin. Rosa's hand on my
shoulder makes me feel a little better, but still, it bothers me that someone
who isn't me or Chad had his hands on my brother's gun. "Please put it
back,
after
cleaning it," I snap my eyes back to Timmons and he
sharply nods his head, retreating into the den with Black and French in tow. I
spare Kendall a look and I can tell she knows how I'm feeling, she can tell how
much Randy's death still bothers me. He had been my guardian angel and she
knows how he got that gun that one spring morning when I was five.

Before I had witnessed
my father having sex in our living room with a hooker, I had come
face-to-barrel with that shotgun. It was an early April morning, I was still in
my nightgown with my little rain boots on, stomping through the house, Randy
playing video games splayed out on the living room floor. I trudged through the
hallway, coming to a loud halt at my parents’ door, smiling at my father who
was cleaning the shotgun on their bed. I remember running up to him, jumping on
the bed and wanting him to play, his large hands pushing me away and off the
bed, my butt bouncing off of the carpet making a loud thud. My mother had come
out of the bathroom, yelling at my father for pushing me and going to sweep me
up when the sound of a racking shell rang out. The barrel of the shotgun met my
eyes, only inches from my skin as my mother screamed, Randy's running form
appearing in the doorway.