Undeniably Asher (The Colloway Brothers Book 2) (7 page)

I absently shake my Magic 8 Ball, the one I’ve had since I was four years old, silently asking the same question over and over. Magic 8 is ever the optimist.

Me: Is this a smart idea?

Magic 8: Signs point to yes…You may rely on it…It is certain.

Hand to God, if it gave me even one negative answer, I’d be calling Asher to cancel.

It may look to the outside world that I’ve moved past the darkest time in my life, but I know the truth. I haven’t. Not really. I’m stuck in quicksand, fighting daily to not let myself be sucked completely into its dark, grainy nothingness.

Until I set eyes again on Asher Colloway, that is, and I felt my heart
really
beat.

God, I’m so scared to make the wrong decision. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Asher Colloway could hurt me. Badly. Probably even ruin me permanently for any other man.

But…

It’s the ‘
but’
that has me wavering. Actually contemplating. It’s the
‘but’
that had me agreeing to this faux business meeting, against the stronger need for self-preservation.

But…he could be your salvation.

The doorbell rings and I quickly finish the last of my beer, dropping the empties into the recycling bin. I take a deep breath and head to the door, wondering to myself what lies on the other side.

My salvation…or my destruction.

Chapter 6

Asher

“I’m sorry to hear about your dad,” she says.

“Thanks.” I look down, trying to not let this subject ruin the great evening I’ve had with Alyse. “It’s always hard at holidays, especially on my mom.”

She nods. “I can relate. Even though my dad wouldn’t have won any father-of-the-year awards, he was still my dad, you know? He did the best he could given his…sickness.”

I don’t know what to say that won’t be perceived as mean. I hate how Livia and Alyse’s father used to put his own selfish desires ahead of his children. I could never understand how parents do that. It’s obvious that Alyse loved her dad, despite all his faults, and that only makes me like her all the more.

“We can’t choose our family.”

“True.”

“Do you want dessert?” I ask, trying to lighten the mood.

“God no. I’ll save my food coma for tomorrow,” she laughs.

Success
.

“Do you want another beer?”

She hesitates for a moment before declining. Damn. It’s only a little after ten and I’m not ready to call it a night. I can’t remember when I’ve enjoyed myself more on a date when I knew beforehand I wasn’t going to get laid at the end of it. As much as I’d like to make a move on her, I won’t, because strangely enough, I want that even more. I want the
anticipation
of claiming her for the very first time. More and more I think that’s exactly what this is.

I want her to be mine.

When Alyse opened the door earlier, I nearly stopped breathing. Vibrant chocolate eyes that glimmered slightly with sparkly makeup gauged my every reaction. I couldn’t have stopped my eyes from traveling the length of her if you held a gun to my head with the trigger cocked.

Her dark, shiny hair was in loose waves down her back. All I could think of is how it would look against her fair, naked skin as her head was thrown back in ecstasy. The sweater-like form-fitting dress she wore hugged her every curve like a gentle lover. I’ve never wanted to know what lay underneath a woman’s clothing so badly.

When I got to the high-heeled boots…
fuck
. I could imagine her in those and nothing else while she was bent over my desk as I watched my cock slide in and out of her slick pussy. And her glossy red lips? Jesus, I couldn’t decide if I wanted to kiss them or have them wrapped around my cock. I spent the whole drive to dinner willing my dick back to at least a semi-hard state, reminding him of our end goal here.

Get the girl, not just the fuck.

I don’t want to follow my usual and very-well-treaded path with this woman, which would include dinner, a few after-dinner drinks, and a hard fuck over the back of the couch. Preferably hers so I could leave afterward. It would make her like all the others, and she’s so not. Don’t get me wrong, I want all of those things with Alyse, especially the hard fuck…just at a slower pace.

The talking to I gave my cock all the way here didn’t work and he’s been pounding against his metal prison ever since. He’s mighty pissed he won’t be let out until I jerk him in the shower when I get home, because that’s gonna happen. You can bet your sweet ass the entire time, I will be imagining it’s Alyse’s hot mouth bringing me to the edge and over.

I knew Alyse had grown into an incredible woman when I listened to her talk my mom’s ear off about her business a few weeks ago. Spending the last three hours in comfortable conversation, I have learned that Alyse is not only an extremely intelligent woman, she’s passionate, fiercely dedicated, independent, and a little broken, just like me. She didn’t say so, but I can see it every time I stare into her dark eyes.

No woman has ever made me feel this way, not even Natalie. I’m completely at ease with Alyse. Like I can be the truest form of myself. It’s comfortable, but not in a boring way. More in an I-finally-feel-like-I’m-home way.

I reach across the table, taking her hand in mine. It feels natural. Right. God, it feels so fucking good. “Are you ready to go?” I ask quietly, hoping that the answer is no, but fearing it’s yes.

She looks between our entwined hands and my face repeatedly. I watch the pink flush that starts right above her firm breasts creep into her face, just as if someone’s pulling a curtain from the ground up instead of the opposite. All through dinner I’ve felt her attraction as much as I’ve felt her fighting it, but her body doesn’t lie.
Can’t
lie. My dick jumps at the thought of being inside her, of having that flush come from the multiple orgasms I will demand of her, instead of the valiant, but fruitless fight she’s trying to put up.

Her mouth says yes, but her eyes say the opposite.

Jesus, Alyse, please don’t make this so hard on me. I’m not that fucking honorable.

Minutes later, the bill is paid and we’re silently driving back to her house. Now that I’ve held her hand in mine, I can’t
not
reach for it. So I do. She lets me take it. I hear her quickened breaths as loudly as if she’d just run a marathon and I wonder how I’m going to simply walk her to her door then turn around, climb back into my car, and leave.

I may have to pull over to the side of the road before I get home and relieve this ache deep in my balls. I’m not sure the hard-on I’m sporting will go away any other way. And the last thing I need to do is walk into my house and have my brothers and my
mother
see this giant bulge in my jeans. Although at least Gray will be assured that Alyse’s virtue remains intact.

For now. Because it won’t for much longer.

Fifteen minutes later we pull into Alyse’s driveway. I turn the car off. She waits for me to run around and open the door for her. Somehow this little ‘business dinner’ ruse has turned quite nicely into a real date. I can’t help the smile that takes over my face.

Taking her hand, I walk her to the front door where we stand, awkwardly. I can honestly say I’ve never been in this position before, so I have no clue what to do. Every time I’ve walked a woman to her door for the last seven years, I knew what followed, even on my first date with Natalie. Hot, sweaty, dirty sex. I’m truly in foreign territory here, so I have to follow my gut for the first time in…ever.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow at eleven,” I tell her as I raise my hand to cup her cheek, my thumb stroking her silky skin. I can’t seem to keep my hands off her. Jesus, maybe hiring her
was
a bad idea. I don’t know how I’m going to be around her day in and day out, without wanting her underneath me all the time.

“No. I can drive,” she answers. Breathlessly. I understand the feeling. I can hardly breathe myself. I want to devour her right here on her front step; fuck anybody who may be watching. I’m not shy. I don’t mind.

“No arguing.” I take a step closer, putting my entire body almost flush with hers. I have to give her credit, she doesn’t step back. She swallows hard and her pink, glossy lips part ever so slightly, teasing me to kiss them. “Thank you for going to dinner with me.”

“I enjoyed it,” she responds quietly. This is as hard for her as it is for me. Good. At least I won’t be the only one suffering tonight. Then she totally takes me by surprise. “Come in.”

I groan.

Fuck. Me
. I’m trying to do the right thing here and she’s a temptress. Holding water just out of reach to someone who’s been in the desert for a week without it. Except in my case, it’s been over a goddamn month. I want to be buried in her pussy so fucking bad.

All.

Night.

Long.

And if I step foot through that door, that’s exactly what will end up happening.

“I shouldn’t,” I finally manage to say. Jesus. That physically hurt, like the words were tugged right from my balls.

I see the hurt in her eyes and it guts me that she thinks I’m rejecting her, so I do the only thing I can to reassure her of my insane, burning desire. Backing her up against the house, I palm her face and eat at her mouth like the famished man I am.

We moan. We paw. Our bodies writhe as we taste each other’s unique flavor for the first time in eight years. My cock is raving mad with the need to get inside her, except I won’t let this go any further.

Not tonight.

With great effort, I pull back, drawing her forehead to mine. We’re both panting, our breaths ragged. Her eyes are closed tightly, like she’s afraid to open them and look at me for fear she’ll be lost. I know I will be. And I know if she does, I’ll be walking through that door with her, throwing away all my good intentions.

I take her hand, placing it over my throbbing cock. And he is throbbing. Angrily. When her hand makes contact, I hiss, feeling him twitch, and she can’t hold in her own groan. I torture myself by moving our hands up and down my stiff shaft, slowly, my hips pumping involuntarily. I let my lips trail to her ear so I’m sure she hears every word I’m about to say.

“I want you so fucking bad, Alyse. You have no idea the restraint I’m using here to not pull down those sexy tights and claim you right here. Right now. In front of anyone who cares to watch. But you deserve more than a quick fuck. I want, no…I
need
to do this right. I want you desperate for me, because when I do finally take you, you’re going to be mine.
Only
mine.”

I suddenly wonder how I ever managed to stay away from this incredible woman for eight long years and why it took me that long to find my way back to her.

With a nip on her earlobe and a quick peck to her lips, I release our hands and walk to my car before I can’t. Before my little head takes over the big one, which is about two point five seconds away from happening.

“Be ready by eleven,” I call as I slip into my pearly white Range Rover, my voice thick with lust.

As I back out of the driveway, I turn, taking one last glance at her. She’s watching me leave, her fingertips brushing against her lips like she’s trying to remember what mine felt like there.

Fuck. It’s going to be a long night.

Chapter 7

Alyse

Wine in hand, I sit in the quiet glass-lined sunroom lost in my own thoughts. I watch Maxwell, the Colloway’s goldendoodle, tootle around out back, sniffing the dead grass for God knows what.

It’s an unusually warm day for November in Detroit, the temperature hovering in the mid-fifties. Asher, Conn, and Luke have moseyed outside to shoot some hoops and Gray is upstairs lying down with Livia, who needed a post-meal nap.

I hear Barb Colloway busying herself in the kitchen, no doubt setting out more food. I’ve never seen a woman with more energy than she. I don’t think she’s sat down once since I arrived this morning, except for our meal.

While I’ve enjoyed being at the Colloway’s today, and it’s certainly better than spending Thanksgiving alone, I can’t help the melancholy mood I find myself in. I need some alone time and this quiet, serene room is the perfect reflective spot.

When I’m in this home, I feel like an outsider looking in. A welcomed interloper, if that makes any sense. This family is so tight, so full of love and happiness that it makes me ache for all that I don’t have, for all I never had, and for all that’s been taken from me. I try to stay away from these dark cracks in my head. If I let myself wallow there too long I know I’ll accidentally slip into one, unable to get back out of the thin crevice.

As I listened to Barb say grace before our meal, I almost burst into tears. Growing up, I don’t remember very many family meals and we certainly never prayed, unless it was that the electricity would be turned back on or that we wouldn’t lose the house that was days away from foreclosure.

As a gambling addict, my father was an absent parent for the most part, and my mother walked out on us when I was just four and a half years old. I don’t even think I remember what she looks like anymore, my childhood memories long faded.

But I do remember her voice. I remember the way she used to sing softly to me at night when I couldn’t get to sleep. I remember the way she’d stroke my hair as she held me on the couch when we’d watch Disney movies. I remember how safe she made me feel when she’d scour under my bed and in my closet for monsters. I remember feeling that she loved me, so I never understood why she left me. When she abandoned us, Livia took over those duties, even though she was only eight. Livia was more of a mother to me than my own.