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Authors: Stephanie S. Sanders

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BOOK: Villain School
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Now I remembered what I'd done this time.

“It wasn't me,” I lied. He appraised me with his sharklike eyes.

“I didn't say it was you, did I?”

I gulped.

“If it
was
you or … let's say your new little friend, VonDoe, or any of your other little friends, you can be sure the consequences will be …
severe.

The way he said
severe
sent a tiny but potent glass of ice water down the back of my neck. I thought about confessing right there, which was probably what the old man had in mind, but I held my ground. It was always better
not
to get caught. And I figured if Dreadthorn had any proof it was me, I would be scrubbing slug slime right now.

There was an awkward silence. Master Dreadthorn was still staring at me over his steepled fingers. I began to fidget. My eyes darted around the room.

“Um, so, is that all?” I asked finally.

“Did I dismiss you?” he asked.

“Uh. No.”

“Then obviously that is not all,” he answered.

More silence.

“So, um. Why am I not dismissed, then?” I asked.

His eyes bored into my very being.

“We are waiting,” he said.

“Oh,” I answered. “For what, exactly?”

“You shall see.”

He enjoyed this. I know he did. It was a Master villain thing, making students squirm, keeping them in suspense. He sat perfectly still, just staring at me.

The
tick-tick-tick
of the deathwatch beetle was agonizing. I began to wonder if it was
my
death it was ticking for. The soft snores of Tabs grew more and more irritating, like a faucet dripping. My own breath was loud to my ears. Little beads of sweat trickled down my face. My legs began to ache. I thought I'd go mad with the waiting. And through all the long silence, the Dread Master just stared, unblinking, at me from behind his desk. How did he
do
that?

Suddenly, Tabs stopped her snoring and lifted her head alertly.

“Enter,” my dad said, even before the knock on the door.

Tabs was flying in excited circles when the door opened and a familiar face peeked inside.

“Ileana!” I said with surprise. I couldn't believe it.

“Rune!” The bubbly blond princess threw her arms around me, hugging me before I could warn her.

“Ahem!” Master Dreadthorn frowned at us. But then another person entered.

“Veldin!” said Queen Catalina, Ileana's mother. Just like her daughter, she ran into the room and threw her arms around my dad. He stood stiffly and patted her awkwardly on the back.

“Ahem!” I said to him with a smile.

He shot me a look that was pure venom.

“What are you guys doing here?” I asked.

I hadn't seen Ileana or Queen Catalina since last semester, when my Plot had taken me to their kingdom. Ileana had rescued me … I mean
I'd kidnapped her
, and despite her ability to talk to flying animals and a tendency to coo over babies, she actually had some villainous potential. She could pick a lock faster than anybody I knew. Plus there was a whole history between my dad and Queen Catalina involving forbidden love and a bunch of other gushy stuff. Hence the hugging.

“You didn't tell him?” Queen Catalina asked my dad.

Tabs flew into her arms, and she caressed the purring cat-a-bat. I thought it was kind of odd. Tabs usually
didn't purr like that unless you had a chunk of sheep liver in your pocket.

“Tell me what?” I asked.

“Mother's enrolled me,” Ileana said. “I'm going to villain school!”

I remembered what Jezebel had said about construction in the girls' dorms and added security. Now I knew who the important new student was. Wait till Jez found out that someone who outranked her was moving in. It was guaranteed to get ugly. I'd have to make popcorn.

“That's totally wicked!” I said.

Ileana dived in for another hug. Her honey-colored hair brushed my cheek. She smelled like peaches. There was another
ahem
from my dad. I just looked helplessly at him and shrugged. He scowled at me anyway.

“Rune, you'll escort Queen Catalina and the princess to the girls' corridor. No hugging in the halls. That is all.”

Chapter Three
Passages and Underpants

Despite his warning, Queen Catalina threw her arms around me as soon as the door closed behind us.

“Look at you!” she said. “You've already grown in just a few short months. You're quite the strapping young villain!”

I blushed and mumbled a thank-you. Villains aren't good with compliments. Luckily I was saved by the arrival of Jezebel. She stopped suddenly, her eyes darting from me to Ileana and back to me.

“What is
she
doing here?” asked Jez, almost accusingly.

There was no mistaking who Jez meant. Her eyes drilled into the princess. Ileana and Jezebel weren't exactly best friends. They'd formed a temporary truce for our Plot, but I was guessing that wouldn't last long now that Ileana was at school.

“Well, Countess, I've just enrolled, so we'll be seeing a lot of each other,” Ileana said.

“What!” Jez shouted.

Just then Master Dreadthorn opened his door.

“Ah, Countess Jezebel. Come in, please.”

Jezebel stared at Ileana a moment longer. Ileana smiled at her and waved. Then Jez scowled at me like all this was somehow my fault and disappeared into Master Dreadthorn's study. I was going to have to do some damage control if I didn't want to incur the wrath of Countess Dracula.

“Well, girls' dorms are this way,” I said to Ileana and the queen.

“Oh, I know the way,” Queen Catalina said.

“That's right,” said Ileana. “You used to go to school here! I want to see all your old hangouts.”

“It's been a long time, but I think I can still find my way. Let's see …”

And Queen Catalina was leading us on a tour of the school. Of course, I already knew every corner of the place, but it was kind of fun listening to the queen reminisce. She even had some funny stories about her old friends, one of whom was my dad. It was hard to imagine him as a teenager. She'd also been friends with Morgana and Muma Padurii—the gingerbread witch who was mother to my half brother, Chad.

“And right here was where we practiced enemy
interrogation. Those were the days!” Queen Catalina said as we passed a classcave and came to the Great Clock.

“Oh,” she said, “here's a secret not many knew in my day.” She studied the grinning monsters, caressing each one with her fingers.

“Aha!” She pressed the eye of one ugly little imp, and there was a grinding sound. To my total amazement the clock slid aside and revealed a secret passageway.

“No way!” I said. I couldn't believe there was a hidden passage behind the Great Clock. I must've passed the hideous thing at least a gazillion times a day.

“Where does it lead?” asked Ileana.

“Let's find out,” Queen Catalina said with a smile and a wink.

She took a torch from the wall, and we followed her into the passage. The clock slid closed behind us.

The dark corridor went straight for a few paces, then descended in a spiral stairway. The dragonfire torch illuminated shreds of old cobwebs, and our boots left prints in the dusty steps.

“Doesn't look like anybody's been this way in years,” the queen said.

Down and around we went until we finally reached the bottom of the staircase. Here, a circular room had been carved out of the surrounding rock. It was mostly
empty except for a few unlit torches and an old iron door. On the door words had been engraved.

“What is this place?” I said, running my fingers over the ancient letters.

“We used to call it the Prophecy Cave,” said the queen, nodding toward the engraving. “Nobody knows for certain when the words were carved there.”

The queen held up her torch, and we read:

IN THIS PLACE, INSIDE THESE HALLS

A TERRIBLE BETRAYAL FALLS.

FULL-VILLAIN SIBLINGS, TWINS

ONE THE OTHER'S POWER WINS.

A LONG-KEPT SECRET IS REVEALED

TO ONE, THE OTHER TWIN MUST YIELD.

THE TRAITOR TWIN SHALL BE BETRAYED

AND VILLAINS INTO HEROES MADE.

“What does it mean?” asked Ileana.

“Well, maybe nothing,” said the queen. “My allies and I found this room a long time ago, but obviously we weren't the first villains here. Those words have most likely been there for hundreds of years. We used to come here to skip class and have little parties. I didn't give the prophecy much thought except for the fact that two of my friends were full-villain twins.”

“Really?” I said.

“Is that important?” asked Ileana.

“No,” I said, “it's just, you know, kind of weird. Full villains are rare. To have both a mother
and
father who are villains? And twins? That's really odd.”

I noticed the queen smiling at me kind of funny. “Rune's right, so we began to worry that the prophecy might have something to do with my friends. They tried to hide the fact that they were twins, eventually going their separate ways. After a few years, nobody even knew they were related. But of course, nothing ever happened. And from the looks of this place, no one's read the prophecy in years.”

“So what's behind the door?” I asked.

“Oh, let's have a look,” Queen Catalina said.

We pulled at the rusty door. It went slowly. The hinges squealed in protest, but we finally managed to open it. We were standing on a little platform with a set of stone stairs leading down to our left. In front of us was a large cavern. It took me a second to recognize it, then I saw the sleeping form of Fafnir far below. Near him, Custard was prancing around and nipping at his wings.

“We're in the dragons' cavern,” I said. “Wow! It's a shortcut! When I gather dragonfire, I usually have to go all the way around and down the dungeon stairs. It takes forever. This is
way
shorter!”

“I thought you'd like it,” the queen said.

“So, wait a second. Does my dad know about this shortcut?” I asked.

“Yes, of course. Why?”

“And he never told me! This could've saved me tons of time,” I said.

“Well, Veldin has grown into a bit of a crab,” the queen said with a smile.

Considering he made life miserable for hundreds of students on a daily basis, I thought this was a huge understatement.

“Shall we start back?” she asked.

We returned to the main hallway, and I left Queen Catalina and Princess Ileana at the entrance to the girls' dormitories.

“Don't you want to see my room?” Ileana asked.

“Boys aren't allowed in the villainesses' hallway,” Queen Catalina said. “But we'll see Rune at dinner, won't we, Rune?”

“Uh, sure,” I said, still thinking of Jezebel and hoping she wouldn't be too mad if I brought Ileana to supper, and also hoping if she
was
mad that Ileana wouldn't
become
supper. Jez was still not a big fan of the vampire diet, but I was willing to bet she'd make an exception for the princess.

I made my way back to my own room. I was still thinking about how to handle Jezebel when I opened
the door, so it took me a second to realize what I was seeing. There was my new roommate, Dodge VonDoe. Obviously he hadn't expected anyone to walk in. He tried to hide it, but it was too late.

“What. Are. Those?” I asked in horror.

Dodge just stared at me, his mouth agape. Finally, he managed to find words.

“I … They … The kids at Morgana's must have slipped them in my suitcase. As a joke or something,” he said.

He was holding a pair of what could only be described as blue tights. I mean
bright
blue. And sewn over them (yes,
over
) was a pair of what could only be described as red underpants.
Bright
red underpants.

“They look like, like—” I was at a loss. I knew what they
looked
like, I just couldn't believe it. “They look like a hero's costume!” I accused.

“No way!” Dodge stuffed the offensive tights into his suitcase and slammed the lid shut. “I told you. It was only a dumb joke. Just forget it, okay, Drexler?”

I stared at him for a minute or two. What was I thinking? Of course it had to be a joke. A hero could never get past Morgana
and
Master Dreadthorn. His dad was a mad doctor, right? I was getting carried away.

“Sorry, Dodge,” I said, then chuckled. “Pretty funny joke, though.”

He laughed, too, and soon it was forgotten.

Chapter Four
Party and Prophecy

“What's up, guys?” Princess Ileana asked as she bounded over to our table with a level of enthusiasm that would've embarrassed any other villain. Wolf Junior moved down to make room for her. Across from us, Jez was reading a newsparchment.

Over the past few weeks, both Dodge and Princess Ileana had adjusted to life at Master Dreadthorn's School for Wayward Villains. Ileana wowed everyone with her lock-picking skills and ability to talk to flying animals—including the Dread Master's cat-a-bat, Tabs, as well as the dragons. Dodge's villainous side was a bit underdeveloped, but he was making progress, too.

“I've nearly finished my doomsday device,” I said to the princess. “Have you started on yours yet?”

“Yep,” she answered, then began to daintily sip at
her milk, pinky extended. (It was stuff like this that made it hard to believe the princess was actually part villain.)

Wolf and I exchanged glances.

“And?” I asked.

“What?” said Ileana.

“What
is
it?”

“Not telling,” she said. Then she smiled an evil grin that transformed her from an innocent princess into something much more disturbing. (It was stuff like this that made it easy to believe the princess was actually part villain.)

BOOK: Villain School
6.44Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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