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Authors: Shannon Dermott

Waiting for Mercy (Cambions) (9 page)

BOOK: Waiting for Mercy (Cambions)
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  I enjoyed every course a little better than the last.  We talked about each item served but left all the heavy words for later.  It was an amazing experience I couldn’t have shared with anyone else.  It had been Paul who’d watched that season’s Top Chef every Wednesday with me.  He’d been the one I’d confided to my dream of coming here.  So it was fitting that he’d be the one to share this with me. 

 

There was just one thing.  I wasn’t sure how I would explain this to Luke if it ever came up.  It certainly wouldn’t help in a reconciliation between us.  But it wasn’t like there could be one anyway.  Damnation was just a bargain I wasn’t willing to make.  However at the same time, I loved him enough to be considerate of his feeling.  So I was here for many reasons besides the lovely meal.  I needed to explore my feeling with Paul that Luke had been so afraid of. Therefore, I had to push Luke far from my thoughts.  Thinking about him always clouded my mind.

 

 Even though it was late on a school night, I let Paul lead me hand in hand down the quaint streets of downtown Fredrick after diner.  We walked until we discovered a small park.  We sat on the swings vacated long ago by the children who no doubt were already in bed.

 

“Do you want a push,” Paul said, getting up from his seat.  The next thing I knew I was laughing while swinging high in the air.  I felt like a kid again with the wind rushing through my hair. When my swing finally came to a stop, he took my hands and pulled me to him. 

 

“Paul wait,” I said when he leaned down to kiss me. He still held my hand rubbing his thumb across my knuckles.  I stepped back needing to put space between us.  I sat again before I said what I had to say.  He let go of my hand and sat in the swing beside me.  I held the chains lightly at first. “It’s getting late, I should probably go.”

 

He bowed his head in obvious disappointment. “Even though you came, you’re not going to give this a chance, are you?” he asked.

 

I pushed off on the swing a little moving up and back in time with the beating of my heart.  “You’ve ignored me for months.  And you just come tonight expecting-” I didn’t finish.

 

He turned to glance off into the night before returning my gaze.  Nervously he finger combed through his hair.  “I was waiting to see if you and boy wonder would get together,” he said straight faced.

 

Eyes narrowed, I said, “Who’s boy wonder?”

 

“Flynn, who else,” he said.

 

Eyes wide now with fisted hands at my side, exasperatedly I said, “Flynn?  There is so nothing going on between Flynn and me.”

 

Arching an eyebrow at me, he said, “Say I believe you.  Does Luke know?” Pausing, he answered his own question before I could with a bitter chuckle. “Of course he doesn’t because Flynn lives.”

 

A part of me wanted to ask Paul why he thought Luke would best Flynn, but I didn’t want to encourage this line of discussion. Instead, I averted my eyes and looked off into the darkness. “Have you thought about Amber,” I said.  Turning to look at him I caught the sour look on his face.

 

Again he broke our eye connection.  So there was something there between him and her still, I thought. “I never loved her,” he said, still looking away when he said it.  Almost as if he wasn’t talking to me.

 

Stunned, I put my feet on the ground abruptly stopping my forward motion. “She’s great and don’t get me wrong, I wanted to.  Maybe I’m crazy, but she’s not you,” he said.  He turned back at me.  I opened my mouth to speak. He lifted a hand in warning for me to let him finish. “Amber’s beautiful and she’s great, but honestly we have nothing in common. Half the time we make-out because we really have nothing to say to each other.”

 

Now it was my turn to say ‘Wow’, but I said it in my head. “There’s got to be something you both enjoy,” I said.

 

He laughed cynically.  “Yeah, but that only goes so far.”

 

I didn’t ask him to elaborate because I really didn’t want to know.  “Why are you pushing me to be with her?” he asked.  “Is it because you’re getting back with the golden boy?”

 

Why did everyone call him that? “No,” I said defensively. “In fact, I left Luke to come be here with you.”  Sometimes, I should keep my mouth shut. 

 

He beamed. Apparently, that was confirmation enough for him. Then he frowned “You did,” he said, voice taking on the cadence of one not very happy.  He was out of his swing taking steps towards me with that puzzled expression on his face.

 

“Yeah, but I’m not sure what that means,” I said, now holding my hands up letting him know to ease up before he touched me.  We needed to talk not kiss.

 

“It means a lot though.  But what were you doing with him?” he asked, looking at my wrist where his bracelet hung. Unintentionally, I lifted that wrist to feel the familiar puffed heart at my throat. He frowned.  Luke’s necklace lay safe in my fingers and I felt a flutter in my belly.  But now I understood where the frown was coming from.

 

“You still love him,” he said resolutely.

 

Unable to lie to him, I said, “Yes.”

 

“But you love me too?” he question, like he wasn’t sure.

 

Still answering truthfully, I said, “Yes.”

 

“How can you love us both?” he asked.

 

“I don’t know,” I said. I mean, was a person’s heart limited to share love with only one person?  I didn’t think so because I also loved my mom and Maggie as well.

 

“He left you,” he implored.    

 

 “So did you,” I said thinking back to that night when he’d left not letting me explain.

 

“But I’m here now,” he pleaded.

 

Stating the facts, I said, “So was Luke before I came here,”

 

“But you came to me,” he said, voice cracking on bitterness.

 

I nodded. There was nothing more to say.  We’d already covered this ground.  I moved away with careful, deliberate steps as I crossed back to where he stood just a few feet away.  His eyes widened then dimed in a wait see mode.  Something in his expression reminded me of the past.  It was then I noticed he hadn’t worn his signature baseball hat tonight.

 

The things I come to learn tonight I did.  I knew I loved Paul once the way he wanted me to love him now. Heck, I was definitely attracted to him.  We’d dated before we became friends. I also knew that my love for him had changed to one more of friendship.  Feeling tired of it all, I went and sat back on the swing.

 

His knees hit the dirt in front of me.  Now I was looking down into his stormy eyes. “I know I’m only human.  But there has to be a way for us to be together.  Your dad was human.”

 

“Paul,” I said.  My voice was full of sincerity.  I had to stop this thing between us.

 

“Hear me out Mercy.  It’s always been you.  I’m sorry it took me so long to see.  But there is no one else but you.  I breathe for you.”

 

As flattering as his words were, something also wasn’t right.  He sounded almost desperate.  “Paul,” I tried again.

 

Still on his knees, he pushed off to his feet raising himself so we would be eye to eye.  In doing so, his hand grazed across my knee.  Such a simple touch had me catapulted in the passenger seat of my body.  When Paul went to kiss me again, I couldn’t stop it.

 

The succubus was in heaven as she began to draw Paul’s life force inside me.

 
Chapter Six
 

 

 

scurrilous
(adj.)
vulgar, coarse

 

 

 

I would be lying if I didn’t say it was an amazing rush to have Paul’s life force coursing through me.  The demon in me was reveling in the power intake when I slipped in to take control.  Even in control, the addictive feeling of the power high made it a struggle for me to pull away.  Thankfully, we only had lip to lip contact.  Breaking free, Paul pleaded with me to continue as if he was getting something out of it as well.  It was really creepy how lost he looked when I sent him home.  It took me looking at him eye to eye with a stern voice to send him away.  If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought I had some sort of control over him.

 

Walking in the house, I was glad the lights were off.  That was good because Luke’s car was outside.  I’d hoped I wouldn’t run into him after leaving him to go to dinner with Paul.  I turned to close the door as quietly as I could and engaged the alarm.  When I turned back, I jumped.

 

With my hand clutching at my chest, I exhaled the breath I’d held in fear.  Nervously, I let my hand fall to my side.  I just continued to look at him while we both decided to see who would speak first.

 

In his hand was a glass filled with amber liquid.  The other hand carried a bag of chips.  I broke first.  “Midnight snacking?” I asked. 

 

It was a little after midnight.  I’d seen the time on the dash before I’d gotten out of the car. “Yeah,” he said. “Something like that.”

 

Wanting to lighten the mood I said in my best old lady impression, “Young man, don’t you have school tomorrow.” I had a grin on my face before I’d realized the mistake I made that left the door open to his next question.

 

“I could ask the same of you,” he said, in the mild way he had of speaking.

 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” I said, matching his tone but not answering the question.  I looked away and headed towards the stairs.

 

He had been headed in the same direction and we met at the bottom at the same time. “Mercy,” he said.

 

Before he could say more and complicate things on a devastating level, I said, “Luke, don’t.  I need to go to bed.” 

 

He’d heard the pleading in my voice and his face changed expressing to something like total unhappiness.  The hand he’d gently placed on my arm when he’d balance the chips and drink in one hand fell away. 

 

I couldn’t take his expression and moved up the stairs quickly getting to my room and closing the door.  In the safe confines of my space, my shoulders dipped and sagged.  If he only knew how hard it had been for me not to turn into his arms and tell him how much I missed and needed him. 

 

My hurt changed to anger.  Not at him, but at the life I hadn’t chosen.  Why me?  Why was I born this way?  I pulled off my sweater and tossed it to the floor.  Then I took a hair band from my dresser and pulled my hair on top of my head in a loose ball, so I could wash the little makeup I wore off my face.

 

Before I pulled off my pants, I looked at my floor where my sweater lay in a heap.  That wasn’t like me.  I wasn’t a clean freak, but I didn’t have very many nice things.  So I was used to taking care of my meager belongings.  Was I becoming too comfortable living in Flynn’s house?  I wasn’t rich even though his dad married my mom.  I hadn’t expected anything to change and it hadn’t really.  Okay, so David had given me Flynn’s car that just came out of the shop.  But really, what was he going to do with it.  In my mind, I was just borrowing it.  So I bent over and picked my sweater off the floor.  I wouldn’t treat my things this way. 

 

When the door opened, I turned around with my sweater balled in my hand expecting Luke to be standing there demanding to talk to me.  Instead it was Flynn.  I immediately covered my chest with my clutched sweater barely covering my pink bra.  It was almost like wearing a bikini top, but something about Flynn in my room with me just in my bra didn’t go together.

 

Flynn just eyed my arms before returning his gaze to my face.  I grimaced.  “I’ve seen boobs before,” he said with a low chuckle.

 

“Not mine, you haven’t,” I said with clenched teeth. “Keep your scurrilous words to yourself.  Now get out.”  I wanted to point but that would mean exposing myself.  So I stood there with narrowed eyes.

 

“If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all,” he said wryly with raised eyebrows. “And what the hell is scurrilous?”

 

“Well, go find another pair to ogle. I’m sure that’s no problem for you, even at this time of night.  And I’m
so
certain the girls you date can help you out with the definition of that word,” I added venomously and sarcastically at the same time.

 

“I might just do that.  But first you’re going to tell me where you were,” he said slow and low, all traces of humor gone.

 

I shook my head slightly.  I could feel some of my hair coming free of the band on my head. “That’s none of your business,” I said.  There was no way in hell, I was telling Flynn I was just out with Paul.  He’d surely go tell Luke straight away.  And while it didn’t matter because we weren’t together, I wanted to be the one to tell him if it came to that.

BOOK: Waiting for Mercy (Cambions)
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