What If (Willowbrook Book 2) (8 page)

His body relaxed against hers while his sigh seemed loud in the silence. “Thank you.” He rested his chin on the top of her head. “Shall we ride?”

She let go of him and stepped back. “I want to, but after Drew . . .” She took a deep breath. “I want it to be him that I ride with from now on. Does that make sense?” she asked, volleying his question back at him. She wanted to feel alive and reckless with only Drew.

Chris nodded, a slow firm move that showed he completely understood. He opened his mouth to say something, but his attention shifted to whatever was behind her.

“Uh-oh. We’re in deep shit.”

At the ominous tone in his words, Emma spun around. Drew headed their direction with his fists clenched at his sides and a fierce glare on his face. Dammit, deep shit was an understatement. She’d never seen him this angry even after he’d broken his wrists.

“Who the hell are you?” he bellowed.

Or seen him this jealous.

He pointed a stiff finger at Chris. She uttered a curse under her breath. The men were the same height and build. If a major smack down was going to happen, there could be serious injuries.
Please behave like men and not boys fighting over a toy
.

Chris extended his hand to Drew. “Chris Andrews, Emma’s friend from college.”

From college
. She resisted the impulse to cover her flaming face with her hands. God, this was awkward. Her secret guy BFF and her secret boyfriend occupying the same space and breathing the same air choked with smothering testosterone.

Surprising her, Drew grasped Chris’ hand and shook. “Nice to meet you, man.”

The air cleared, and she inhaled a deep breath.
Wow
. He’d spoken the words with a lightness that again caught her off guard. Without knowing what she and Chris were to one another, Drew had accepted Chris in Emma’s life.

Seeming to understand something had shifted in her relationship with Drew, Chris let go of Drew’s hand and stepped back. An unknown emotion, one she’d wanted so badly to identify when it came to her hurting and confused BFF, crossed his face then disappeared just as suddenly. He smiled. “I should get going and let you two have time together. Time is precious when you love someone unconditionally, isn’t it?”

He turned and headed for his truck. Chris walked tall as though he’d come to a very important decision. She’d come to her own important conclusion too. After witnessing how Drew had handled himself around who he must realize was Emma’s
perfect guy
, she trusted him to give him the truth. But only with Chris’ consent.

“Wait, Chris.” She hurried after him.

He waited for her by his truck.

“You can say no if you want, and I wouldn’t hate you or be mad at you—”

He silenced her outpouring of words with a warm hand to her face. His brown eyes shone with a brightness that had tears welling in her own. “It’s okay, Em. I’d be honored if you told him my . . . our secret.” He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. Before he ended the innocent kiss, his tears dampened her cheeks. “I think it’s time you tell him why you gave your virginity to me and not him. And you can’t give him one reason without the other, right?”

“Right.”

After he dried his tears off her face with the heels of his palms, he got into his truck and drove away, leaving her alone with Drew. He came up from behind and started to massage her shoulders.

“Let’s head home, Em. You need to lie down, baby doll.”

His moods confused her. In the beginning, he seemed pissed. Now he came off concerned. Shouldn’t he be giving her the third degree after witnessing Chris kissing her? She unraveled herself from his hold and faced him.

Throughout their relationship, she’d kept unsafe topics out of their conversations, thinking they’d do more harm than good. Yet not talking about the unsafe stuff, the important stuff, the stuff that had mattered the most had done just that—more harm than good.

She’d stick to her word and lay her heart out in the open. She traced a path from his stubborn chin down to the notch of his neck. The lock to her heart would’ve hung slightly below the hollow.

“Earlier you were mad. Why?” She figured he was angry after seeing her with Chris.

“I woke up and you weren’t there.” His voice shook. “I searched the house and the woods. You. Weren’t. There.”

His truth left her breathless. His anger wasn’t from seeing her with another guy. Drew had been scared for her safety.

“I’m sorry, Drew.” She reached up and cradled his face in her hand. “I should’ve told you.”

He turned into her touch seeming to need her comfort. However . . .

“Would you have let me go if you knew it was to see a guy?”

Uncertainty marred his handsome face. Seconds ticked by. With a tenderness in his eyes that nearly brought her to her knees, he covered her hand with his and said, “Yes, Em, I would have.” His certainty broke her heart.

Chris could’ve been her new love interest and Drew’s rival for Emma’s heart. Instead of treating him unkindly, Drew had accepted Chris and respected her and Chris’ friendship.

It is what it is.
Words Drew had uttered when he’d come to a conclusion that he couldn’t change something.

He took her hand in his, and they started walking back to his place. The tulips on her father’s grave taunted her, begging her to ask her question.

“Why’d you leave the chain and key where I’d find it?”

His steps faltered then he continued at a faster pace, as though his hesitation hadn’t happened at all. With her hand firmly in his, she hurried to catch up with his long strides.

“Why isn’t your lock near your heart?” he asked, in a quiet, brooding manner.

His question was fair. She swept her hand over her throat. They’d made love last night, and she’d been naked, sans necklace. He waited for her answer, giving her a fleeting sidelong glance before he stared forward again.

If the granite mask over his face was meant to shield his hurt from her, he was too late. Emma had heard his pain in his words.

“The key and heart are safe, Drew.” She reassured him. “Answer my question.”

He clamped his jaw.

She whispered her plea. “Whatever you have to say to me, I won’t judge.”

He squeezed her hand, and she squeezed back.
Toss safe out the window, love
, she had wanted to tell him. But he had to decide to take that next step himself. There’d be no more reassurances from her. Yes, talking about the unsafe stuff sucked.

“After I got to Willowbrook, I stopped by to see you,” he finally said. “I wanted to apologize for being a jerk, for being so crass. But after I saw you with him . . .” He blew out a breath. “The key to your heart means everything to me, Em. If I could, I’d take back what I did.”

“Aw, Drew.”

It took guts for him to admit he’d been jealous and hurt. She grasped his hand and tugged him back, toward the cemetery. “Let’s go say hi to my dad.”

“I’d love to, baby doll.” He released her hand and, grasping her waist, lifted her and claimed her mouth with his. Sighing, she opened up to him. Talking about the hard stuff wasn’t so bad after all.

Chapter Thirteen

They stood in front of her father’s grave. Tulips covered the granite marker. Recalling the story of how Emma’s dad had proposed to her mom, Drew smiled and pulled her back against him. She pressed her tiny body into him, resting her head on his chest.

He’d told her the truth earlier. About his fear, his hurt, his jealousy. Afterward, a weight lifted. It’d felt good and right to bare his soul to her rather than come off as the tough guy who would reassure her that things were okay when everything in their relationship hadn’t been fine.

“Drew, there’s something I have to tell you.” She faced him. “You know the guy I lost my virginity to, the one from college, the guy you don’t know?” She fidgeted with the buttons of his jacket.

He stopped her nervous movements with a hand over hers. “Go on.” He gently encouraged.

Finally, she opened up to him, and no way would he miss the importance of her words with the stats in his head or by thinking of the places he needed to be, or of his lines for endorsement commercials. With Emma, football would have to be placed on the back burner.

Drew wanted new experiences, new places, new . . . anything but only with Emma and their baby by his side. And he had a gut feeling he’d be getting that and more. In less than twenty-four hours, he understood so much about Emma—his girl, his love. The credit went to her. When she had dropped her guard, she let him in. That’s where he’d always wanted to be, closer to the beats of her heart.

“Chris was the guy.”

Her soft words pulled him out of his thoughts.

“We met in math class and hit it off right away. I knew instantly we’d be best friends.” She looked at him through thick, smoky lashes. Recognizing that he was more curious than jealous, she continued. “I also knew he was confused about his . . . his sexuality.”

She shivered. He tugged the edges of her jacket together and zipped it up. She rewarded him with a crooked smile.
Adorable
. He kissed the tip of her nose.

“So you and he slept together to ease his confusion?” he offered. At the thought of Chris
easing
himself into Emma, Drew . . . Drew pushed down the jealousy threatening to undo Emma’s trust in him. “But you said you hadn’t loved him.”

“I do love him but not in the same way I love you. A different kind of love. The love for a friend. Does that make sense?” She explained, barely taking a breath between her words.

“Perfectly.” Chris might bat for the other team, but his sexuality didn’t explain why he and Emma looked ready to swap spit inside Chris’ truck. “What happened between you two the night I saw you in his truck.”

She wrapped her arms tight around his waist and looked up. Tears glistened in her eyes. She hurt for a guy she loved like a friend. “His partner broke up with him. Said Chris wasn’t accepting of his own sexuality so how could he fully love another man? It broke Chris’ heart. I understood his hurt but couldn’t give him advice. How could I when I was also an imposter?”

He must’ve looked confused. She explained. “If I wasn’t ready to accept all of you—a public figure in my private world—how could I trust and love you properly and completely?” She rubbed her nose on his shirt before meeting his gaze. “I could only give Chris my heart, my love. But not the piece of my heart and my love that had always been yours to keep. When I saw the lock . . .” Her voice trembled and faltered. “I thought you didn’t want your piece any longer.”

“Emma, love, babe, baby doll.” He swooped in and clamped his mouth over hers.

He’d never seen Emma so emotional as in the last twenty-four hours. Must be the pregnancy.
Their baby
. A strong and independent, smart and selfless woman carried his child.
Damn
. Tearing his mouth away, he cradled her face in his palms. “I’ll always want access to your heart.” He searched her face.
Soon
. From the tenderness in her eyes and the flush of confidence on her cheeks, he believed she’d tell him soon about their baby. “Let’s get you home.”

Hand in hand, they walked across the field. He inhaled. The cool air smelled of damp grass and dew-covered leaves. “I take it you asked Chris to be in the gala?”

“Yes, but he said, no.” She swung their clasped hands. “I’m glad he did. The win-a-date-with-a-hunk isn’t his thing unless he’s the one betting on the hunk.” She laughed.

Her happiness echoed, and he wanted more happiness for her and the little boy she cared deeply for.

“I have an idea to make the gala a success.”

At the edge of the field, before they took the path that would lead them to their place, she came to a stop. “Does it involve a superstar? I promised Chance one.”

“Not a superstar but
superstars
, Em. Once we get home, I’ll call Jones. We’ll see if some of my players can make the gala. How about it?”

She let go of his hand and started to jump up and down, clapping as she did so. Laughing with the happiness he wanted to see more of from her, the mother of his unborn child, she jumped into his arms. “Oh my gosh, Drew. You are my perfect guy.”

Touchdown!

* * * *

When they got back to their place, Drew insisted she get comfortable while he made the phone call to Jones. The conversation from the kitchen had been hush-hush. Sitting on the couch in her PJs, Emma twirled a strand of hair between her fingers and waited.

Her stomach gurgled. She let go of her hair and slipping her hand under her shirt, patted her belly. A quickening deep inside sent tingles through her. She sat straight from her slouched position. The quickening, like the fluttering wings of a hummingbird, came again. She shot to her feet and almost called out to Drew to come now. The baby had moved. Or maybe not.

Maybe, she had bad gas.
Argh
. She wished she had one of her pregnancy books with her. Instead, the stack of resources were hidden in a drawer on her nightstand. Since she’d offered to help with the gala, Eve and Asa had dropped by Emma’s place several times to brainstorm. No way could they know she was pregnant. So she had stashed the books away.

But she suspected Eve had known her secret since Emma had chosen clunky boots over bling-bling high heels. Sighing, she gave up on the idea of wearing them again for a long time.

Her sight dropped to her belly. But he was so worth it.

He?
Yes, she had a gut feeling the baby growing inside her was a boy. In three weeks, she’d know. Her doctor planned an ultrasound. She smoothed a palm over her barely there baby bump.

When she and Drew had made love last night, she cherished the way he coasted his lips over her bump, lingering ever so slightly to let her know he was onto her.
Soon
. Soon, she’d tell him of their pregnancy. However, there was one more thing she needed to do.

“Hey, babe, you doing okay?” he asked.

Startled at where her thoughts went, she spun on the couch and faced him. He quirked a brow. There was no curiosity on his face, just concern. She exhaled a quiet breath.