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CHAPTER ONE

"You broke my favorite toy!" Lucas shouts.

Lindy looks up, with tears streaming down her face. "I didn’t mean to."

LINDY

"Are you ready for this?" Tara asks from the passenger seat.

I look over at her and shake my head. "Why do you keep asking me that? We're just going home."

"Yeah, a home you haven't been to in nearly four years. Not even when your mom begged."

"Whatever. I went home a bunch of times. I saw
Mom plenty. Hell, I even saw Abbie and Wanda, too," I remind her.

Tara snorts and says, "You only went home four times. That’s only because Maggie would have killed your ass if you weren’t there for Christmas.
Even then, you hid out at your mom’s house. The only reason you saw Mom and Wanda is because they came to Auburn to see you."

"You try losing your virginity on a dirty bathroom floor, to a guy you've been in love with for your entire life. Then have him run out of the room and call you a fat ass, and we'll see how you act."

"Well, I lost my virginity this one time at band camp. So that'll never happen," she says with a laugh.

I just shake my head at her and keep driving. We're quiet for a while, then I notice Tara bouncing in her seat. "What are you doing?"

"I'm so excited I can't sit still," she explains. "I can't wait for everyone to see you. They are going to freak. You were always pretty, but now you're a knock out."

I've changed a lot since I left Warrington. First of all, I had LASIK, so the glasses are finally gone. I started getting really bad headaches my freshman year, and the doctor said it was because of my eyes. With all the studying, the glasses weren’t working anymore. He recommended having the surgery, and I haven't had a headache since.

I've also lost over sixty pounds. It wasn't a miracle drug or anything. It was just good old fashioned hard work. Mom did her best to help me as much as she could when I went to college. But she didn't have a lot of money. I didn’t want to take any more from her than I had too. I had to get two jobs to cover everything my scholarship didn't. Even then, there wasn't much left over. I ended up living off of Raman Noodles and peanut butter sandwiches. Needless to say, my appetite decreased. So I am returning home glasses-free and a size seven.

I know I look different, b
ut I don't think it's as big a deal as Tara does. She seems to think everyone is going to die from shock when they see me. She's spent the last three weeks coming up with different scenarios for Lucas' reaction to the changes in me. She even has a whole scene worked out where he drops to the ground and declares me a goddess sent straight from heaven. Even I had to laugh at that one.

I haven't talked to Lucas since the night before I left. As soon as I got to school, I deleted my Facebook and twitter accounts, changed my email, and blocked his number. He tried to call me from his mom's phone once or twice, but I hung up as soon as I heard his voice. As far as I am concerned, Lucas Beck is no longer a part of my life.

We pull into my mom's driveway an hour later. Tara and I rented a house a few blocks over from Mom’s, but I'll be staying here until we can get moved in. Hopefully, it will only take a day or two, because Lucas is living back at his parents’ house. I know I'll see him in town, but I'd prefer not living right next door to him again.

Lucas blew out his knee at the end of his sophomore year. Everyone thinks he'd be playing professional ball now if it wasn't for his injury. Mom said he had a real hard time after he got hurt. He lost his scholarship, so he had to quit school and move home. After he got home, he started drinking a lot. He got caught drinking and driving a little over a year ago. I guess Paul must have kicked his ass, because I heard he straightened up after that. He went to some technical college in Mobile and learned how to restore old motorcycles. He's working at a custom bike shop in town, and Mom says he seems to really like it.

For some reason, Mom refuses to quit giving me Lucas Beck updates. She and Wanda are convinced Lucas and I will someday get married and have a house full of babies. I bet they’d both change their tune if they knew what happened between us, but I'll never tell either one of them. Mom loves Lucas too much, and it would break her heart. I’m not sure what Wanda would do, but I know it would not be pretty.

Tara and I
are just getting out of the car when Mom flies out the front door. "I'm so glad you're home!" she screams as she pulls me in for a hug.

"Hi, Mom," I say with a smile.

"
Hi, Mom
?" She looks at Tara. "She's been gone for four years and all I get is a '
Hi, Mom'
." Mom walks over and gives Tara a hug.

"She's here now, Maggie, so we can't complain." Paul says from the front door. I look up and see Tara’s parents, Abbie and Chris, and Wanda standing behind him. I even see Tara’s little brother and sister peeking around them. I rush forward and give Paul a big hug. I have missed everyone since I’ve been gone, but I think I’ve missed Paul the most of all. Except for Lucas, but I’m not going there yet.

We all make our way out back, where my mom has set up lunch. We're just sitting down to eat, when I hear a motorcycle pull up next door. I know instantly that it’s Lucas. My heart starts to race and I can feel sweat bead on my brow. I'm not ready to see him, not yet. Please, don't let him come over here.

The next moment, the back gate opens, and Lucas and Kelsey step through it.

LUCAS

I don't know why the fuck I promised Ma I would come to Lindy and Tara's welcome home party. I have no doubt I'm the last person either one of them wants to see. Even worse, why in the hell did I let Kelsey talk me in to bringing her? If there is anyone Lindy hates as much as me, it is Kelsey. I can't even say I blame her. Kelsey always treated Lindy like shit.

I'm not sure why I hooked up with Kelsey in the first place. No, that's not true. Enough alcohol and any bitch will do. If fucking her wasn't bad enough, I just had to go and knock her up too. It fucking broke my heart when she called to say that she lost the baby. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit I felt a little relieved. I couldn't imagine someone like Kelsey having my child. In fact, when I think about having kids, which isn't very often, I always picture Lindy as their mother.

Well, I can just forget about that. I blew that shit a long time ago. I still can't believe I acted like such a prick that night. I’ve always had a thing for Lindy. I used to tell myself she was just my friend, but that wasn't true. Even as a kid, I knew Lindy was the only one for me. I was just too wrapped up in myself to even consider dating a girl who wasn’t as popular as I was. Well, that shit has changed. I'd give my left nut for another chance with Lindy.

Leading Kelsey to Maggie's backyard, I try to think of what I can say to smooth things over with Lindy. I might not have a chance to be with her again, but I hope like hell we can at least be friends. I've missed her too fucking much not to at least try.

"Wonder how much weight piglet has gained since she went to college?" Kelsey says with a laugh.

"You better be nice to her, and everyone else for that matter. You need to remember this is my family here, and if you act like a bitch, I'll take your ass home and leave you there," I say firmly. I swear I hate this bitch. She'd be long gone if she'd didn't guilt me into staying every time I tried to walk away. But shit, the miscarriage was nearly four months ago. How long am I going to have to coddle her ass?

"I won't, baby. I promise. I'll be on my best behavior," she says while wrapping her body around mine.

Detaching myself from her, I open the gate to Maggie's backyard. I start to walk through but stop dead in my tracks when I see Lindy. What in the fuck happened to her? I always thought she was pretty but now she is drop-dead gorgeous.

Her hair has gotten darker; it is more of an auburn color now. It also has streaks of
gold running through it that weren’t there before. It would look wonderful wrapped around my fist as I pound into her. Her body is fucking amazing. She has on cut-off blue jean shorts that barely cover her ass, and her long legs are golden brown. All I can think about is having them wrapped around my back. She's wearing a tight navy blue T-shirt with Auburn written in orange across her tits. Damn, I can just imagine what they would feel like in my hands or taste like in my mouth. Her eyes are as green as I remember, but something is missing and it takes a moment to realize she’s no longer wearing glasses, not that it matters. It didn’t then, sure as hell doesn’t now. The problem is those eyes are staring straight at me. No, that's not true; they are staring straight through me.

She glances at Kelsey, then back to me. I can see pain flash in her eyes, and I wish like hell I had left Kelsey's ass at home.

"Luke, baby. Aren't you going to say hi to everyone?" Kelsey asks, while wrapping her arms around me. I try to back away, but she follows. She is doing her best to mark me as her territory, but that shit is not happening. I just saw my future, and I'm not letting this bitch get in the way.

I push Kelsey away, using just enough force to let her know I mean business. Then I walk straight to Lindy, pull her out of her chair and wrap my arms around her. "How have you been, Lindy Lou?"

LINDY

Being in Lucas' arms again feels good. So good it scares me, so I jerk away with such force I stumble backwards into Paul’s lap. "Woah there
, girl, he's not going to bite you."

Standing up, I get back into my own chair then smile at Paul and try to play down my reaction. "You never know, he's been known to before. You remember the time I broke his Ninja turtle action figure?" I say using air quotes for action figure. Before long everyone is reminiscing about Tara, Lucas, and my childhood. There are even a few stories thrown in about Tara’s younger brother and sister. All the parents have a story to tell, so we all sit down to eat and listen to their versions of the past. I stay quiet and try to focus on my food, but I can't keep from peeking at Lucas.

He's changed so much, it's unbelievable. He no longer looks like a boy; he is all man now. He is well over six feet tall. All those years of football have added a lot muscle to his body. He has on a Bob Segar and the Silver Bullet Band vintage tee. I see tattoos peeking out around the neckline and one running down his right arm. It's a mixture of the Crimson Tide logo and the lyrics to Sweet Home Alabama; it's beautiful. Lucas’ hair is shorter now, cut close on the sides but a bit shaggy on top. It’s just long enough I could run my fingers through it. In fact, the urge to do so is so strong that I have to fist my hands to keep from reaching out to touch it. He has a little scruff on his chin, and his face is more defined. He's even sexier than before.

I look to his side and see Kelsey sitting there. Seeing Lucas and her together hurts. It hurts really bad. I know I have no control over who he goes out with, but did it have to be her? Did he have to choose the person who tormented me the most? I shake my head at my own thoughts. I cannot control Lucas, never could. I have to accept that he can date whoever he wants, even if it is the biggest bitch in the whole damn world.

I've dated a few guys since I left. I actually got kind of serious with one of them, Chad. He is a great guy. We were both education majors and were in a lot of the same classes. He is really cute and treats me like a princess. We dated for over a year, but I finally broke it off when he kept pressuring me for more. I care about him. I might even love him, but I don't think I'm in love with him.

We did a lot of sexual things. We fooled around, experimented a bit, but I just couldn't go all the way with him. He kept asking when I would be ready, and I finally told him I wasn't sure that I'd ever be. I could tell that it bothered him, but he didn’t complain. He backed off a bit, but I still felt pressured. So I finally broke things off between us a few months ago. When I did, he told me that if I ever changed my mind he'd be waiting for me.

We remained close friends after the break up. We even got hot and heavy a few more times. I am not even sure why I let it go on like I did. I did like him but not in the way he wanted me too. I should have put a stop to it a long time ago, but I didn’t know how. A small part of me is afraid of losing him, but I know I have to let him go. 

"Did Chad get to Gulf Shores yet?"

I swear Mom can read my thoughts. "Yeah, he called earlier. He was already unpacked and on his way to the beach."

"When’s he start work?" s
he asks.

"School doesn’t start unti
l August, but football practice starts in a few weeks," I answer.

He got a job teaching physical education and coaching football at Gulf Shores High School. It's only about forty minutes away from Warrington. When he left school, he said that he would be up to see me soon, and I'm sure he will.

"Is he coming to visit you any time soon?" Mom asks with a smile. I know that smile. It's the one that says she wants to know all my deep dark secrets. I'm not going there with her, especially not with everyone around.