Wizard's Funeral (22 page)

of an old woman? Old woman? This insufferable youth had a mouth as big as the Cerulean Gulf. Soldier longed to fill it with his fist, but he remained outwardly calm. That would be very noble of you. Royal even, said Paladan, with a sidelong glance. I am a prince, after all. Yes, yes, of course. Im deeply obliged to you, Prince. Yes, well, I havent promised yet. I may change my mind. I spent a lot of money on her, simply because my father wouldnt let me take any female servants with me. The boy pouted. He said he wanted to make a man of me and that women just spoil me. Well, I went without one for at least three weeks, just to prove to him I could do it. Then, when the slave caravan passed, I thought, why not? So I purchased her. You could have just taken her. You had an army. It doesnt matter, does it? I have money too. A whim. To pay, or take, it was all the same to wealthy princes like this. Whatever was the least trouble to them. Whatever suited their moods. Yet you are mentioning the cost. The prince turned and gave Soldier a sweet smile. Ah, as to that, I might as well get my money back. If you want your wife Ill probably ask you to buy her from me, at a small profit to myself, of course. Ive given her a certain amount of training, after all. Shell make at least a kitchen maid when Ive finished with her, if not better. A few well-placed strokes of the cane might even raise her to the level of a chamber maid, though she seems extraordinarily stupid when it comes to beds. I asked her to warm my bed for me last night, expecting her to crawl under the blanket, yet the simpleton put some hot coals into a metal pan and put them inside, instead. Can you credit that? Of course the coals cooled later and I had to drag her in with me to keep the cold night from my bones. Women are so very warm, arent they? Invaluable in that respect. They might not be good for much, but they do retain their body heat. Must be the fatty flesh they carry with them. If you touch a woman, which I have done on occasion, youll find they have this soft, almost pudgy layer, which covers their bones. Its why theyre so good at warming beds. I see you have the wisdom born of curiosity, of science, like my friend riding behind us. I like to think I can further the quest for knowledge. You - you didnt take advantage of the fact that she is a woman - to satisfy your carnal needs? Soldiers hand had crept surreptitiously to the hilt of his sword at this point. The prince wrinkled his nose. Thegs thighs, look at her! Shes filthy. She smells like a hog. The prince shuddered. Its one thing to warm ones bed with a smelly wench, quite another to bury ones sword in her sheath. If we had the water to scrub her up a little but then, she is an old hag. Look, I know what youre thinking. You believe that because Im so beautiful I must have women all the time. Youre wrong. I can be celibate, when the need arises. I know temple priests who are less able than I am to keep from females. Now, that insipid woman who travels with you is as clean as a mountain stream, but I have no desire to dip there either. She drools. Another simpleton, Im afraid. Oh, I quite agree. For an intelligent man like you, Prince Paladan, you need a woman with an equal mind. Not equal. There I must disagree. A woman can never equal a mans mind. Theres too many fripperies in there. Too much satin and lace. Too much embroidery. No, no. Not equal. But you can find women who are not stupid. I know. Ive met one or two. Theyre few and far between, though. Not easy to find. Satisfied that his wife had not been violated, Soldier dropped back. As he passed Layana, he touched her hair. It drove agonies into his heart. She looked up, her dirty face a picture to him. It was all he could do not to dismount and cover that smudged and smutted visage with kisses. He wanted to fold her in his arms, tell her everything would be all right, make her happy. Yet, he knew she did not recognise him. The pain in his breast grew stronger on knowing this. How was he going to restore her mind to her? He couldnt even find his own? They were a matched pair now: a couple with no memory of who they were. There was some irony in that and he might have laughed, laconically, if he did not feel so miserable. Have a nice chat? asked Golgath, coming up beside him. An informative one. Im a little easier in my thinking. Moona said, eagerly, Did he speak of me? Not a word. She pouted. He must have said something? Oh yes, he called you a simpleton. Her face brightened. You see, I am on his mind. Both men looked at each other and raised their eyebrows.

Chapter Twenty-one

Soldier suffered Prince Paladan until they reached the outskirts of Sisadas, where the Soldan of Ophiria was still camped, awaiting news of his wife. Soldier and Golgath took Moona, who used her long elegant swan neck right until the last minute, twisted right round so that she could see Prince Paladan until they crested the high dune at the back of the oasis. Then she turned back and wept. The two men felt sorry for her. They knew how she was suffering, having gone through the same wretched feelings themselves. They knew it would pass, though. Soldier gave her a week or two to get over the golden-haired prince with the character of a horned toad and the soul of a slug. Moonas husband, who had heard of her rescue, was waiting impatiently, sitting in the howdah of his brass elephant. When he saw her coming he pulled an organ stop and the elephant raised its trunk and trumpeted the soldans joy. In turn, the trumpets of his troops heralded her coming with tuneless fanfares. The fat soldan made his elephant kneel and was there on the ground to receive his heavenly spouse. When she approached him, she knelt before him, which was wise of her since she would have stood a head taller than her husband in his flapping pantaloons, billowing shirt and wide golden sandals. She stared at his fat little toes, on the ends of his chubby feet, and burst into a new flood of tears. Ah, my love, said the soldan, lifting her chin with his golden hand so that she could see his round face topped by an enormous turban, you have no need to cry-cry. You are safe now. You are here with me. Come, we shall go together to Xilliope on my marvellous elephant and find you a brass-brass camel to match it. Her head turned in his metal hand, looking back, and again she wept with great choking, heaving sobs. I want to go to Xxiphar. No, no, my darling, he smiled, indulgently. Its not pronounced like that. You say-say it like this - Xilliope. She turned with a mean look and growled at him. I want to go to Xxiphar, you fat baboon, not Xilliope. The soldans expression shattered like glass. He stared down into her face. Something had happened to his darling to turn her into a less than heavenly creature. He looked up. The two warriors who had brought her back to him were standing just a little way off. They looked shifty, especially the one with the peculiar blue eyes. He never should have trusted them. Of course - a whole desert to cross - with the most beautiful woman in the world. They had found it impossible to resist her charms. They had violated his wife. She was not upset with her husband: how could she be? No, she must be overwrought, almost out of her mind, to have said such a thing to him. It was not her fault. It was theirs. They were to blame for this distressing condition of his wife. They were smiling at him. Waiting, and smiling. It was more than he could bear. The soldan crossed the space between him and the two men in about five strides. He struck the one with the blue eyes, the one they called Soldier, with his ringed fist. Thatll wipe the grin off your face! he snarled. Soldier looked utterly shocked and bemused. He recovered within a second and would have flattened the soldan, had not Golgath stepped between the two men, only to receive a blow himself from the soldan. What are you about? cried Golgath, warding off another attempted strike by the infuriated soldan. Beware, my friend will cut you down, whether you be king of the world, or no. This warning sobered the soldan, who now took some steps back, towards his troops. He was still incensed, however. You violated my wife! he shrieked. Soldier was amazed. Did she say that? No but I can see how sad-sad she is. Thats because shes in love with the Prince of Xxiphar, you great oaf, yelled Soldier. Its got nothing to do with us. All the wind went out of the soldan, and he seemed to deflate like a balloon losing air. Xxiphar? Oh, XxipharJ Thats what she - you mean Prince Paladan? That coxcomb? That curly-headed small-small popinjay who has a features like a six-year-old girl! Shes in love with him? The soldans eyes narrowed. How did she meet him? We ran into him in the desert, replied Soldier, and she took one look and fell like a stone down a well. He is good-looking, and has the body of an athlete, but I think youll find that shell forget him in a week. Its just a young girls infatuation. Where is he? Golgath said, A mile or so distant, on the other side of that hill. But he has a whole army with him. Seasoned troops. They wear black and call themselves The Immortals. They look more than a match for your troops. The soldans nostrils dilated. He stared at the giant dune ahead, then turned away. Dont we get any thanks? called Soldier. For what? screeched the soldan back at him, waving his golden arm. For allowing my wife to consort with libertines? You wont get a brass-brass groat out of me. And you can find your own wife. I hope she falls in love with this Prince of Xxiphar, so you know what it feels like. I expect you couldnt keep your eyes off Moona either, the two of you. I expect she had to beg-beg you to keep your hands to yourselves. Go on, be off with you, before I have my troops disembowel you within her sight. Go, go. Soldier took a step forward, but Golgath said, Never mind, Soldier - we know where your wife is. Some people are never grateful. Well have our revenge, one day. Men like him cant guard themselves against misery and misfortune. Golgath and Soldier now went back to where the prince was camped for the night. It was evening when they arrived. The air had a golden hue to it, as the sun was sinking behind tawny dunes. Prince Paladan was sitting outside his silk tent, with Layana in attendance, when the two men arrived back. As they approached him, however, something happened in the sky. The prince leapt to his feet and ran a few yards from his tent, before looking up again in a terrified manner. See, cried Soldier, pointing. A male winged lion! The lion was now flying around the head of the prince. Its dark mane streamed out behind it. Its fur rippled in the wind that its flight was creating. On its face was a look of utter rage. Clearly it was filled with hatred for the prince. It now began to stoop, in the manner of a hawk, swiping at the princes head with its claws. The prince weaved and ducked, yelling for assistance, begging someone to come to his aid. The great wings flapped, the lion rose and soared, then stooped again. Golgath said, I know what it is - its the mate of the winged lion he shot with the crossbow. Hes come to exact revenge. Now the whole army had come out of their tents. They stood mute witness in the gloaming, watching the attack take place. No one moved to assist the prince. It was as if they were transfixed. One or two pointed, but most stared in awe at the spectacle. Help me! shrieked the prince, lying flat on the ground with his hands on his head. Somebody help me! The irate lion swooped over his prone body and slashed, catching his hair, tearing out a clump of golden fuzz. Agghhhhh! My head. It bleeds! Still men stood there, as if mesmerised. No one really knew what to do. One or two archers fired arrows at the swerving, wheeling lion, only to miss hopelessly. This was not a creature on a straight course, like the she-lion Paladan had shot with his crossbow. This was a maddened winged male lion with wings twice as powerful as his mate. Whirling about the sky, almost impossible to hit. In the time it took for an arrow to reach it, coupled with the speed of the lion, the creature was no longer a target. Arrows hit empty spaces. Even the best bowman in the land would only hit it by luck. Just when it seemed the prince would die, Layana came out of her tent. In her hand was a bullwhip. Without a thought for her own safety she strode to the spot where the prince cowered on the ground. There she stood, magnificently heroic in the dying rays of the sun, and cracked the long whip at the lion when it stooped. Sharp sounds on either side of the lions head, around its ears, caused it to veer away. The creature looked confused. Three or four times it tried to dive on the woman who stood, legs apart, firm on the ground. Each time it came down she cracked an expert whip once, twice, thrice, about its head, not touching it, but causing it to swerve. It did not give up for some time, but eventually, as the light began to drain from the sky, the lion became frustrated, and finally it flew up towards the stars. They watched its silhouette cross the moon, wondering whether it would be back. Soldier went immediately to his wife. That was wonderful, he told her. You are so very brave. Someone had to do something. And you did it. He took her in his arms and kissed her. Layana responded, but in a puzzled way. She was not sure she should be embracing this stranger who had just come into her life. The feeling of being held by two strong arms was nice, however, and she indulged herself. It created a warm-ness in her breast she had not felt for a very long time. His skin smelt pleasantly familiar to her, and this perplexed her a little. She allowed herself to enjoy it. Prince Paladan climbed unsteadily to his feet, touching the raw spot on his head where his hair had been torn at the roots. He found blood, which alarmed him. Thats enough of that, he said, sharply, dusting himself off. Girl, get back to my tent. Fetch me some balm, some healing ointments. Cant you see Im hurt, you selfish little trollop? No, growled Soldier, thats enough of this this farce we are forced to witness every day. This is my wife. She does not remember it, but she is. We are leaving together - now. You are not. Youll . . . AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH! Soldier had reached forward and had drawn the princes own sword. He had plunged it into the royal foot, pinning it to the ground. The prince screamed like monkey on fire. Warriors from The Immortals began to move forward, to protect their prince, but Soldier had already clutched Layana by the arm and was striding out into the night with her. Golgath followed, ready to guard their retreat. The prince continued to scream, but more coherently now, demanding the death of his attacker. His warriors pursued the three, who were now cresting the rise which led to the oasis beyond. They came streaming out of the tent area, running up the incline. It seemed as if Soldier, Layana and Golgath would be overtaken before they had got half a mile. And that would have been the case, had not the soldans army been on the other side of the rise, marching towards Prince Paladans army. After Soldier and Golgath had left, the soldan had sat and festered in his jealousy. Moona Swan-neck had continued to sob and demand she be allowed to woo Prince Paladan, in the sure knowledge that he was her soul mate. Finally, the fat soldans simmering anger overflowed. Horns sounded, drums beat, and the army gathered on the plain behind the oasis. The troops were slightly bewildered. It was coming on to night and here they were about to embark on a military expedition. It did not make sense. The soldans senior officers strongly advised him against marching into battle at night. Things, they said, could become very confused in the darkness. Companies could often find themselves fighting companies from their own regiment. It was not unknown for an army to end up defeating itself. But the soldan was adamant. He could not wait until morning to kill that popinjay with the golden hair. The prince had bewitched his beloved Moona and would have to pay. He couldnt have a wife who wept for another man. It would not do. They would attack tonight and use the element of surprise. Not send heralds and envoys? Not inform the enemy that they were at war? Surely, this was against all convention? We send no one, no warning - and we give no quarter take no prisoners, replied the determined soldan. I dont care if we slaughter them in their beds and they never know why. The prince will pay for having cuckolded me. I will tear his heart out through his mouth and hang it from my lance. Make love to my Moona? The soldan choked on the words. Ill make him wish he had been born a paupers son. But he didnt touch me, cried Moona, appalled at what she had unleashed, but also amazed at the power of her tears. He he wouldnt even look at me. He said I was clean-scrubbed and shiny-skinned, and looked well enough, but he didnt want me . . . The soldan was doubly incensed at this. His wife, the most beautiful woman in the world, had been spurned by a snot-nosed prince who wasnt worth the muck stuck to the bottom of her sandals. If anyone deserved to die it was this arrogant boy. Sound the cymbals! cried the soldan, drawing his scimitar as he was heaved up by many hands onto the saddle of his white charger, whirl the bullroarers! We march! They had not far to go. They met Soldier, Layana and Golgath coming down the great dune on their side. Immediately archers opened fire on those following the three escapees. Walking into a hail of arrows, the princes men quickly deduced that they were under attack. Some turned and ran back down to the camp, with the cry to take up arms on their lips. Many of these died with arrows in their backs, or having been overrun by the forces of the soldan. They were chopped down within yards of their own troops. Torches had now been lit, in both armies, and two oceans of waving lights came together. Soldier, Layana and Golgath watched from the top of the dune for a while, until the slaughter became sickening, the sweet smell of blood wafting up to them on their quiet hilltop. If they themselves had been in the fight it would have been a different matter, but they were onlookers, and not crazed by the fear and excitement that battle generates. From this point they stared down in horror at the carnage that was going on in the light of burning tents below, hearing the screams, seeing men - and women - being impaled on sharp objects, or having their heads removed with the swipe of a blade. It was all so ghastly when one was a peaceful bystander in the balmy air of a clear and pleasant evening. Lets go, said Soldier, taking Layanas hand. Well spend the night in Sisadas, then move on in the morning to Carthaga. Late that night, Soldier sat up with Layana and tried to explain what had happened to her. He told her who she was and what had occurred in the city to which she belonged. The took it all in, but confessed that she could not remember any of it. I like you, she said. I can imagine I am in love with you, despite those strange eyes that seem to pierce through to my very soul. I must take things slowly, until I feel right again. One good thing, which Soldier did not mention to Layana in case it revived the demon within her, was that in her present state she no longer had bouts of insanity. Her madness had fled with her memory. It said to Soldier that it was indeed a curse, rather than an illness, which