You Can't Run From Love (8 page)

“You really don’t have to do that.”

“I know, but it seems a shame not to make the most of a beautiful day. There is still a lot of work to be done.”

Jess looked at the timber still stacked. “We won’t finish that today.” She laughed at Rachel’s knowing look. “Sorry.”

“I’ll be back shortly.”

When Rachel returned they discussed the plan for the afternoon and then quietly tucked into their sandwiches. Jess glanced over at Rachel thinking how easy she was to talk to. This would be an ideal time to talk privately and stop any future problems arising, if they were ever going to. Suddenly she felt nervous.

She coughed, attempting to clear the tightness that was taking control of her throat and then asked, “Rachel, have you ever married?”

“No,” came a somewhat wary reply.

“How about a partner then?”

Rachel looked up, making eye contact, and nodded. “Yes.”

Jess anxiously wiped the palms of her hands on her trousers before grasping her mug to steady them. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry, forget I asked.”

Rachel gave her a faint smile. “We separated just over six years ago. We were together for thirteen years.”

“Thirteen? That’s amazing.”

“Yes it is.” Rachel couldn’t help sounding bitter and quickly reined herself in. “What about you, any partners or long-term relationships?”

Jess began to fidget and bit her bottom lip. “Umm, no, not really.”

“None?”

“Well, I did have one relationship that lasted around five, maybe six months.”

Rachel’s eyes widened. “Is that the only one?”

“Um, yes.” Jess paused; the face looking at her showed light-hearted horror. She began to relax. “I might also be stretching the meaning of the word
relationship
a little.”

“I see. So if your relationships have been limited, what about sexual liaisons then? If that isn’t too personal?” A mischievous grin suddenly appeared. “If I tell you how many I’ve had, will you tell me how many you’ve had?”

Jess couldn’t help but laugh. “Go on then, how many?”

“I could just about count them on one hand.”

Jess feigned shock. “One hand?”

“Yes, how about you?”

Jess raised an eyebrow, inspecting her hand. “It would have to be an extremely deformed hand to count mine on the one.”

Rachel chuckled. “I see. So how long do these sexual liaisons of yours last?”

With a wicked smile she said, “All night, if the person I’m with has any stamina.”

“Good grief, Jess. I meant the average number of days, weeks or months with the same—individual.”

“Oh.” Jess quickly tried to judge how Rachel was taking this information. She didn’t appear too disgusted. Rachel was monogamous and from her experience they never really trusted those who had many lovers. “Well around twelve hours, tops.”

“You weren’t joking then!”

Jess thought maybe she had gone a little too far. She didn’t particularly want Rachel to think she was some sort of brazen hussy. “It could be the same person on different occasions.”

Rachel just looked at her, mouth agape. She gave Rachel what she thought was a pleading look. “If it’s any consolation, I was a late starter and probably felt I had to make up for lost time.”

“How late?”

“Twenty-four. Actually not far off twenty-five.”

“Well I’ll be. I thought I was late at nineteen. What took you so long?”

She replied cautiously. “There isn’t a great deal of opportunity around here. How about you?”

“There was much more opportunity when I went to the College of Art.” She narrowed her eyes at Jess. “I always thought farmers’ sons were more than happy to take a young girl’s flower?” She batted her eyelids.

Jess laughed. “Flower, my God, I haven’t heard that term in years.” She looked seriously at Rachel. “You’re right. There were plenty of boys more than willing, but no…” Jess stopped. “Next to no girls. What’s your excuse?”

Rachel nodded. There was something more in that pause of Jess’s. “The same. College was much more liberating.” She smiled at Jess, “I had guessed, well I was ninety-nine point nine percent certain.”

Jess raised a querying eyebrow. “Really? I have to say I was pretty sure too. I mean about you. But it’s not something you go around asking.” She grinned. “And I have been known to get it wrong. Not good.”

Rachel laughed and shook her head. She looked at Jess. “You don’t have to answer this, but can I ask you something?”

“Yes,” Jess replied a little cautiously.

“You said—next to no girls.” Rachel again saw that distant, even sad look. But as before, it was fleeting.

Jess smiled softly. “Her name was Kirsty. I suppose it is like many stories. We were fourteen and unaware until then that you could be attracted to another girl instead of a boy. We’d known each other since kindergarten.” Jess chuckled. “The term lesbian I hadn’t even heard of, until Julie mentioned it afterward.” Jess smiled again. “Neither of us knew what to do about being in lust with another girl. It never went very far.” Jess remembered their few kisses and a little fumbling, then their embarrassed looks.

“Was she your first love then?”

“Yes and the last.”

“Oh.”

Jess chuckled at Rachel’s expression. “It’s not how it sounds. I’m not pining with a broken heart, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Jess suddenly felt anxious.

“What happened?”

“Um. I’m afraid she died.”

“Oh, Jess, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You can be for Kirsty, but not for me. It was a long time ago.”

“Still, it can’t be easy.” Rachel thought of Jess’s family.

“Actually, I dread to think where she might be now, if she had lived. She knew how to live life then.”

“So you don’t think it would have lasted?” Rachel smiled. Jess was obviously trying to stop any gloom arising.

“No. I might have got started earlier, but she would have soon gone on to pastures new. Even then, Kirsty wasn’t planning on staying around here.”

“And you were?”

“I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. Why would I? Everything I want and enjoy out of life is here.”

Rachel couldn’t argue with that, she couldn’t see Jess anywhere else either. She sighed.

“So, a long-term relationship, is that something that has just eluded you, or is it because you don’t want one?”

Jess sucked in a breath, she’d been given a reminder, and now a lifeline had been thrown. She had to make her position clear. Then without warning her mind betrayed her, conjuring up an image of closing the gap and easing Rachel to the ground and taking her slowly, over and over again. The heat rose so quickly throughout her body, she shook her head in an attempt to divert the throb that was settling at her center. Sighing heavily she said what she wanted to say. “No I have never wanted one and I can’t see that ever changing.”

Rachel saw a multitude of emotions cross the face in front of her; apprehension, annoyance, resignation and unmistakably desire. She’d hoped that maybe Jess just hadn’t found the right person and at that moment in time, she felt it could easily have been her. The reply when it came was such a disappointment, not what she was expecting. She couldn’t believe her reaction to the admission either—she was too old to waste any more time on playgirls. Rachel was a master at masking her feelings. Something she had perfected over the years. “Well Jess, you’re honest if nothing else.” She attempted a relaxed smile and then laughed. “I wouldn’t want to lose my second home for some sort of short-term pleasure, so I think we’re both safe.”

They worked quietly for the rest of the afternoon. Jess wasn’t quite sure how to take what Rachel had said. Convincing herself she’d upset this very likable woman’s feelings, she couldn’t keep quiet any longer. “Rachel, I’m sorry if what I said earlier appeared conceited. I happen to like you and enjoy the times we spend together. If our relationship went any further than friends, I would end up hurting you, and I don’t want to do that.” She sighed at the seriousness on Rachel’s face, unable to determine the emotion behind it. She attempted a more jovial tone. “Oh and another thing, Uncle Jack would murder me if I drove you out of his life. Could we be friends? Good friends?”

Rachel had to laugh, that blush was just so adorable. She couldn’t deny fantasizing about Jess and hoping Jess would find her irresistible. She was well aware that she herself was an attractive woman. Those gorgeous blue eyes had definitely made it clear they were aware of it too. The strong athletic woman before her was sexually experienced. Rachel had very rarely enjoyed sex. It had been fun in her early years but with Michelle… Michelle had regularly made comments as to what a lousy lover she was. Rachel had desperately made attempts to improve her performance and somewhere along the line had learnt at least how to pleasure Michelle. She on the other hand, received no real enjoyment and on many occasions had faked an orgasm, all to keep Michelle happy and avoid the…“You really are hopeless. You don’t know how to enjoy yourself, Rachel. Relax.”

Pulling herself out of her depressing reverie, she looked at Jess. “Friends is fine with me, I couldn’t cope with anything more. So good friends is perfect.”

Jess said, “Friends then,” and stuck out her hand.

“Friends,” came the reply, as they shook on it.

Chapter Ten

The next couple of months flew by. The summer was proving to be just as busy as the winter. The disc in Don’s back had to be surgically removed so he had been of little help around the estate, for which he felt guilty. Jean constantly worried he would try to do too much and not be fit to emigrate. Jack worried over Jess. Jess worried about Jack, and Marie just worried about them all.

This particular day was a bad one for Jess. Her uncle had received the results to further tests and they hadn’t been good. The cancer had spread. She had tried to prepare herself for bad news. There had been no real improvement in his energy and fitness levels since the previous ones and his appetite and interest in food had dwindled again.

The only thought that brought a smile to her face, as she sat staring out of her bedroom window, was Rachel. She had been busy with exhibitions, presentations, sketching, painting and meetings. Any free time she had she spent with Uncle Jack or helping Jess where she could. She had proved to be a quick leaner and her enthusiasm was marvelous. They had become the very good friends that Jess had wanted.

Sighing, she stood. Uncle Jack and Marie would be waiting for her. Marie’s sobs had echoed through the house at the news, yet she rallied herself quickly and disappeared into the kitchen to prepare afternoon tea for the three of them. At the hospital they had discussed with the consultant the terminal diagnosis. He had offered Jack further radiation to slow things down, but he had refused. In her head she understood his decision. He didn’t want to go through all the discomfort again. He wanted to enjoy, as best he could, the time he had left with as much dignity as possible. She fought back the tears again before heading down the stairs.
You’re thinking of yourself. Think of him.

***

Rachel waited in anticipation. Jack had asked her if she would invite Jess to dinner this evening. He knew the trip to the hospital would tire him and he wanted time alone. Jack had confessed to her that he had expected the news not to be good. He knew he was dying. He thought an evening with Rachel would distract Jess, or at least let her talk to someone other than Marie or himself.

Rachel glanced out the window and caught sight of a lost-looking soul plodding up the hill. The redhead she knew always held her head high, commanding the space around her. Not this one. She swallowed down a hard lump forming in her throat. Her tears had spilled over a couple of days ago when Jack had confided in her. She had to be strong for Jess.

She heard the gentle knock at the door, took a deep breath, forced a smile and opened it. “Hi.” Rachel had grown used to the way Jess looked at her and was still convinced it was a look of pure desire. She’d often heard people say that Jess could never hide how she was really feeling. Rachel usually enjoyed the look. Tonight though, she had to be mistaken.

As the door opened all Jess wanted to do was bury her unhappiness in exploring every part of this woman. She wanted to see that smile after she had teased, kissed and licked Rachel to orgasm. The thoughts were making her giddy and she felt herself sway. A hand grasped her wrist. “Jess, are you all right?” She couldn’t respond. Lights twinkled before her. “Jess, sit down.” She was guided urgently to a seat and then her head was suddenly thrust forward. Blackness briefly engulfed her, and then blood began to rush through her ears, followed by more colored lights.

She relaxed at the feel of a hand caressing her back and another high on her thigh. The hand slipped a little further between her legs and full, moist lips were but inches away. But, the eyes she met showed only concern. She desperately attempted to focus on them, to steady her wavering body and mind.

Rachel become conscious of where her hand was resting and slowly withdrew it. In a lighthearted, mocking tone she said, “Well I’m no nurse, but I would say you were close to fainting, my dear.” They both laughed, as Jess recovered herself.

Jess relayed the events of the day to Rachel over dinner. She was touched when the big brown beautiful eyes filled with tears. She knew Rachel would be upset; she and Uncle Jack had grown very close over the years.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be getting upset, you have more than enough to deal with. I’ll just go and get us dessert.”

Jess quickly followed. Rachel quietly moved around the kitchen, placing items on a tray. She leaned against the door frame and watched the gentle sway of Rachel’s hips, the subtle bounce of round, firm breasts and the teasing way those full pink lips pouted in concentration. All Jess wanted to do was pull that body close to hers and cover those lips with her own. Rachel was a gorgeous woman and you would have to be dead not to notice her. That’s what Jess kept telling herself.

Back in the living room they talked for a little while longer before Rachel sensed that was enough for Jess. She suggested Jess stretch out and make herself comfy while she put on a film.