Your Little Secret (2 page)

“It’s not forever,” his coarse voice broke her sound barrier, extinguishing her thoughts in one go. “You know that. I’m not leaving you forever. I can’t leave you. Not now, not ever. Do you understand that?”

Pushing herself up, she rose from her broken position to look at him, “I do.”

“Do you?” he questioned her lightly, his hands coming to frame her face. “Remember one thing for me? Remember that this is the start of our lives. I can’t love anyone like I love you. It’s impossible. You made it impossible.” His bottom lip quivered slightly as he saw her broken soul through her piercing blue eyes. "I'm gonna miss those eyes," he said his fingers tracing her mouth. He closed his eyes and tried to hold back the emotion.

"It's okay," she whispered as she saw his emotions overcome him. She smiled softly at him and he smiled back down at her. His fingers tickled up her ribs and she pushed up at his chest with her small hands to try stop the fingers from invading her body. "Don't, please, don't," she warned him, and a wicked grin formed on his mouth.

He moved his fingers across her pale skin and watched as her laughter erupted from within, and she tossed and turned across the mattress trying to escape him. "Not forever," he repeated and stared down at her and she nodded gently and wrapped her arms around his taut neck. He buried his face among her hair and breathed in her scent. Wetness covered his skin and he held her tighter as her tears fell across his shoulder. "Don't cry baby, please," he begged her, his arms still wrapped around her fragile body. "You'll be okay and I'll be back to fix the stairs, the sink, and the ceiling. I promise." His reassurance couldn't stop her heart from breaking, knowing that she couldn't feel him next to her at night made her heart slow its usual fast pace.

"I have to go," he whispered against her skin as she unfolded her arms from around him. He pressed his forehead against hers and sighed gently. She closed her eyes tight and tried to imagine the happier memories and not the fact that she wouldn't see him again for five months. His lips gently met hers and he kissed her passionately before pulling away completely. "Fuck!" he muttered under his breath. His naked body was searching the untidy room for his boxers.

"I already packed them," she smiled at him and he shook his head in frustration and her smile dropped immediately from her face. "Sorry," she whispered and he shrugged his shoulders and turned his back to her.

He deftly unzipped the suitcase filled with his life belongings and searched for a clean pair of boxer shorts. He pulled out a pair of Calvin Klein's and shrugged them on; they fit him tightly.

Again, she found herself just biting down on her bottom lip, this time to keep her needs at bay and not allow the sight of his arse to turn her on. She needed to be strong and she knew falling for his body was not remaining strong. She needed to abstain and survive that way until they met again. She needed to break away from him now, even before he left, so she knew the sting would die sooner rather than later. She needed the courage to survive without him by her side every minute of every day, and she would do so starting now.

Getting up herself, she grabbed the shirt she had made him leave and put it on, buttoning it up to cover her. She found her pink lace knickers hanging on the handle of the bedside table and
quickly adorned them so she could stand and just get her arms around him before he put his freshly pressed suit on and wouldn’t want her creasing it.

He turned around to her, smirked and grabbed a hold of her, “That shirt always did look better on you,” he said as he pulled her against him. Their chests together, her arms lifted so they could wrap around his neck. “Are you sure there is nothing else of mine you want to keep?”

“You?” she murmured her request and knew it was useless to ask. This was a done deal. She had to come to terms with this. Hell, she had six weeks already to build up to departure, but she couldn’t deny her greed for him. “If I could have you, I so would.”

“If I could have you come with me, I so would,” he told her truthfully and pulled her tighter to him, kissing her temple. “There’s no one else I want more.”

“I know,” she smiled against him, and just inhaled the sweet scent of his shower gel. The masculine scent always reminded her he wasn’t far away.

“I left the rest of my bottle in the shower,” he cooed at her having heard her inhaling against him. “I can pick another bottle up once I hit London. I’m sure they have a Boots or Superdrug.” He felt her laugh against him, “It’s not a foreign country. We need to keep that in mind. It’s a measly train journey. It’s even a couple of hours on the M1. I’m not leaving for Timbuktu.”

“I know,” she murmured her same response and stood back. “The moment I can, I am coming down there to you. I won’t wait five months. I can’t.”

“I know you can’t,” he replied to her and smiled excitedly about the thought of her coming to surprise him. “Don’t leave it too long.”

She giggled, “I won’t be, trust me. Do you think I’d hold out on running my hands down these?” she asked, as she stepped back a little and ran her hand down his abs.

He grabbed her hand before it reached the waistband and her blue eyes matched his. He shook his head in admission and she backed off slightly and gave him her soft smile. He watched as she danced gently in front of him, spinning on her toes the shirt riding up to show her pink lace underwear. He bit his lip involuntarily and felt such a heavy sad weight hanging on his heart.

He mentally punished himself for getting so close to her when this was always going to happen. She appeared in his life, quite by accident. Her silly friend, Lucy, was hitting on him in the local Leeds nightclub, and in doing so, made quite a mockery of herself. The memory still haunted him.

***

"Hey there," the random girl slurred, her words muddled from the alcohol consumption. He pushed her away gently trying to stand her upright. She fell back against the bar and knocked a plastic cup over filled with orange liquid.

"You're hot," she mumbled her finger pointing into his chest.

"Thanks," he replied his hands holding onto her shoulders.

A brunette girl grabbed her around her waist and pulled her into the seat behind. "Sorry," said the stranger and tucked a loose piece of curled hair behind her ear. "She can't handle her drink," she stammered looking away from him to assess her friend.

He couldn't believe the sight he was seeing, such a perfect figure. Her dress hugged her curves, her breasts pushed hard above the neckline. "It's okay," he said his hands shrugged into his jean pockets. He could see her eye fucking him, taking in his body. Her bright blue eyes reminded him of the ocean blue and he couldn't keep his tongue in from licking along his bottom lip. "So er, could I at least get a name?" he asked as she straightened her dress and fidgeted with her shoes.

"Mine or hers?" she asked as a smiled played along her plump mouth. He took a step towards her and melted into her eyes.

"Yours of course, you are the prettiest girl in here," he watched as she blushed and stroked her hair away from her face again.

"Amber," she replied firmly and he fell in love straight away.

***

"
Wakey wakey!" Amber mumbled, and stroked her fingers across his cheek, awakening him to his surroundings.

He smiled at her and sat at the foot of the bed. "Sorry," he replied and stood back up. "I know I need to get ready, but I was thinking of when we first met."

She laughed loudly and shrugged on some jeans that were lying across the floor. "Yeah, Lucy was a mess!" she replied tying her hair into a messy bun on the crown of her head. She pulled on his hand and kissed the ring she bought him as a farewell present. "Remember me," she whispered against his hand and stood up straight, her hands firmly placed on her hips. "Now, time for you to get ready mister!" she demanded and slapped his firm arse and he growled in response.

“You make it sound like you want me to leave,” he spoke back, playing hurt. He looked at her, her face drawn and worried that she had said something wrong. He leaned out, hooking an index finger around one of the belt loops on her jeans and pulled her towards him, forcing her to stand between his opened legs. He placed his fingers on the rim of the waistband of her jeans and looked down at her, “Right, if I promise to ring you when I get to London, are you going to promise to not be a blubbering mess?”

“I’m not making that a promise,” Amber told him back, her eyebrows furrowing together as she tried to keep her emotions in check. “I mean, when you call, it’ll be a new turn in your life. You’ll be in a huge city, everything will be changing.”

“Everything except my love for you, Amber,” he told her back fiercely. “I know it’s going to take some adjusting, but please baby. Have faith in me. We can make this work. I’ve been down there on business before.”

“Yeah for a week,” she pouted at him, “Not twenty weeks.”

“They’ll fly by,” he said as he pushed her back a little so he could stand up. “Before you know it, I’ll be back, and we have weekends to see one another. I have your birthday in a few weeks, I am not missing that.”

“I expect a big gift,” she teased him and giggled. “Now what time’s your train again?”

He looked over his shoulder at the bedside clock and sighed, “Just under the hour so I really need to get going.”

Sighing in resignation, Amber took a step away and quickly lost his shirt to put on her own clothes as Connor left her to get himself dressed. She then followed his footsteps out of the main bedroom, along the hallway and down the stairs. She found him already placing his fresh suit on, his suitcase by the door. As he walked up the hallway towards her, she approached him, deliberately stopping him midstride so she could help fix his tie. This was the last time she was going to have with him for God knows how long, she wanted to make sure she had as much contact with him as humanly possible.

“Perfect,” she whispered as she flattened the tie down and gave him a respectable once over. Damn, she had been lucky he had fallen for her and not Lucy that night.

"C'mon Amber, he's been gone 4 days, get up!" Ethan's masculine voice filled her ears, but she covered her head with the closest pillow to stifle his voice. "Get up!" he shouted and pulled the covers away from her feet at the foot of the bed.

"Ethan, please kindly fuck off," she muttered and threw the pillow at him. He dodged it, and couldn’t help but stare at the beautiful woman before him. He looked away embarrassed when she jumped out of bed in just a shirt and underwear.

"What?" Amber asked, her arms spread wide, a questioning look on her face.

"Nothing," Ethan said as he imagined all the things he could do to her delectable body. He watched her roll her eyes at him and then sighed, she then began to storm past him, heading for the bathroom door, taking one last glare at him before slamming the door.

"Do you want me to get you some breakfast from McDonald's?" Ethan asked as he pulled out his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans. He pulled out twenty quid and waited patiently for an answer. Amber opened the bathroom door, standing in only the blue shirt Connor left her, the top three buttons casually undone. She slumped against the doorframe, biting her lip, giving him the most seductive look she could muster. He knew it was meant playfully, it always was, but for him the intrinsic pull between them strengthened.

"What do you think, handsome?" she purred, seduction caressing her tone.

Why did she do this to him? He couldn't understand. Especially, when all he ever wanted to do was kiss her beautiful skin from head to toe, and never let her leave his side. He wanted to quite literally keep her captive with him.

She walked over to him and jumped into his arms. Her legs wrapped around his waist and she kissed his soft dirty blonde hair. She loved the intimacy of their relationship. There were no strings attached, no emotional implications.

Breaking the sexual tension beginning to build within him, Ethan spoke up, “Do you want breakfast or not?”

"Please?" She begged leaning back, her arms wrapped around his neck. “My tummy’s beginning to talk to me.” She said back in his hold, “I’m sorry for being a sad bear; I promise I’ll be better, but right now I want to eat junk food and wallow.” She tilted her head to the side, “Can you help a girl do that?”

“Well,” Ethan began to ponder, screwing his face up in thought. He then threw her onto the bed, “If you can be dressed by the time I get back.”

“I’ll make sure I’m entirely naked and sitting at the dining room table,” she quipped sarcastically, giggling at his disapproval.

“You will be the death of me one day,” Ethan told her, pointing to her with the hand that had the now screwed up twenty pound note in. “I will be half an hour tops, lady. I want you showered and dressed; you’re kicking up a fuss.”

“Fine,” she groaned at him and sat up as he turned to leave, “Eth?”

Ethan stopped and turned to her, looking at her expectantly.

“Why hasn’t he called?” she asked her best friend, using him as her confidante. She looked up as the tears began to pool in her eyes. “I mean we’ve text loads, but when it comes to him ringing me he just doesn’t.”

“Hey now,” Ethan stepped towards her again, covering the space he had just left. “Give him a call now. I won’t leave until he answers. Just give him a chance and I bet he’ll pick up the moment you ring.”  He watched her gulp at him, her eyes searching his for another alternative, “If you don’t I will, and we both know how that he hates me.”