A Life In A Moment (10 page)

«Welcome,
Vassilis.»

«Welcome,
Bill.»

We sipped
from our glasses of white wine, though Bob preferred beer. We ate
without talking. I had so much to tell them, but I preferred to
savour my first meal in England silently.

I needed
to attach more importance to moments like this. Small things can only
be beautiful because they are too small to hold anything else. That’s
why they are the only things you remember after years have smudged
away everything else.

«You
must wonder what exactly happened», I said, slowly putting my
knife and fork together.

«Are
you going to tell us?»

«Yes.
Let’s get it over and done with, now that we’re all here
together.»

Those
three words,
all here together,
sounded good to my ears. They made me feel as if they were my new
family. And so they were.

I began to
recount my story, from the moment Thanos arrived at the bookshop, to
the fight with Michalis and my decision to leave. They listened
carefully, sympathy climbing up their faces for the way I had
suddenly lost a friend and a lover. When my story came to an end, I
let them rest in a pause.

Bob
nodded his head. «That bloke... Michalis...
malakas
!»
he commented, using the most famous of Greek swear words.

I laughed.

«And
that Ellie...»

«Don’t
say it!» Pavlos was quick to stop him.

I laughed
again.

«How
do you feel now?» Samantha asked me.

«Now
I feel fine. In the beginning, I was all at sea, drowning, but my
journey gave me time to think. I won’t allow myself to be
occupied with it forever. I decided to never look back.»

«I
didn’t have time to really get to know Michalis, but Ellie?»
my brother said to himself.

«Well,
kid, leave everything behind and say to yourself that this is the
first day of the rest of your life», Bob advised me, raising
his glass. «Cheers!»

I drank to
that. To the first day of the rest of my life.

 
29

In the
afternoon, I stopped by the pub. It wasn’t very far —
about a twenty-minute walk. We walked in the light of a day that was
drawing to a close. I enjoyed my first walk along the streets of
Hackney. The others adjusted their pace to mine, so I could see
whatever I wanted to see. This way, I gave them the chance to enjoy
their walk too. Time had worn it to something merely mechanical and
automatic.

With each
step, I learnt something new. Samantha talked the most, teaching me
about the history of the area. How the first houses had been built,
how the first inhabitants had arrived, how Hackney had changed into
one of the most infamous areas of London. That’s why there was
nobody out in the streets at night. Fear had bolted shut their
houses. Yet another thing I had to get used to.

Looking
around me, I noticed how the bricks all shared a uniformity of shape;
a kind of brick I’d never seen before, except in photos. Bricks
of all colours and size: big, small, yellow, brown, white, black.
Every building wore the same suit, made of the same pattern, but not
of the same colour. The pavements were dark, dull strips, while the
roads were pitch black, as though they’d been paved with
asphalt just two days before. Every now and then, red buses passed
by, most of them
double-deckers
,
as they were called. How badly I wanted to ride on one of those. I
knew the delight would soon wear off.

«Here
we are», said Pavlos, showing me the facade of the pub.

It
had been built with classic, English-style wood. Two big windowpanes,
painted bright blue, framed the main entrance. Overhead there was a
wooden inscription that read
JJ’s
,
lit up by a bright yellowish light.

«
JJ’s
?
What does it stand for?»

He
smiled. «What name could a Greek woman coming to stay in London
give?
Jupiter’s Joint
.
That was the initial name by which the pub went by, but when I took
over, I decided to change it. It sounded like a cheap tourist
taverna
on a Greek island», said Pavlos, opening the door.

He
intentionally concealed the fact that, when they were thinking up a
name for the pub, my mother wanted it to remind her of me. My father,
though, wouldn’t listen, so a potential
BJ’s
or
VJ’s
turned
into
JJ’s
.»

«You
may think the worst of him — I did up to a point —, but
you must know that it never stopped hurting him that he left you
behind in Greece», Pavlos would tell me one day, only to come
up against my indifference.

The locals
welcomed my brother, Samantha and Bob warmly.

«May
I have your attention, please?» Pavlos shouted, drawing me
closer to him. «This is my younger brother, Bill. From now on,
he’s with us — our boss!» he said, causing a
commotion of applause, which became a strong, rhythmical beating on
the tables. «If you’re still sober and can see the
bruises on his face, you should know they’re made by someone
who realised, far too late, that he should never have messed with
him!»

Everyone
burst out laughing, putting an end to their table drumming. Pavlos
left them to their laughter and led me to the bar. Behind the counter
stood Sylvia, an English girl — the only employee who had no
connections to our family.

«Sylvia,
this is Bill.»

«Hi,
I’m Sylvia», she introduced herself, extending her hand
over the wooden bar.

«Hi.»

«Troubles?»
she asked, looking at the marks on my face.

«Not
any more.»

I couldn’t
help but stare. She was certainly an asset to the pub. Tall, blonde,
with delicious cleavage and a fantastic smile, but smart enough to
politely turn down the more obscene proposals from the not-so-sober
patrons. Though she was five years older than me, nobody would’ve
argued if she’d said she was nineteen. She exuded a strange
scent of innocence, but provocative sensuousness mingled with it to
form a magnetic, mysterious blend.

«From
now on, Bill is the second boss. Nothing will change, of course, but
I just wanted to let you know.»

«Okay»,
she said, almost indifferently.

I sat at
the bar, looking around more carefully. The style of the décor
was pure rock ‘n’ roll — the perfect backdrop for
the music travelling along its old wooden beams. I liked it.

Samantha
moved over to a table in the corner to chat with some friends, while
Bob joined Sylvia behind the bar, leaving me with Pavlos. People
arrived in droves. My brother introduced me to whoever came to greet
him, so I’d get to know all the frequent customers. The fly in
the ointment was the repeated replies to the endless questions about
my bruises.

 
«So,
from now on, just watch and learn. Nothing else. You’ve got one
week to learn the ropes. Next Monday, you start work», he said
when we were alone.

«Why
not earlier?»

«With
that face?»

He was
right.

«These
are the changes that will take place from now on. Now that you’re
here, Samantha is going to stop working — she’s been
wanting it all along — and I’m going to do the morning
shift, so we can spend more time together. This means that Bob and I
will come in at nine, to have the pub open by ten, and we’ll
both leave at five. You and Sylvia will run the place till midnight,
and then you’ll have to clean and tidy up the bar, and lock up
for the night. Is that okay?»

«Yes.»

«On
weekend nights, I’ll be at the pub, and Bob sometimes too, so
there’ll be at least three of us when there’s more work.»

I nodded
in the affirmative.

«Anyway,
you needn’t worry about the job. It’s easy and pleasant.
Most of our customers are friends and acquaintances, so they don’t
cause any trouble. But if you ever need anything, let Sylvia step in.
She’s extremely savvy when it comes to those sorts of things.
So, my last advice is
keep calm and
carry on
.»

He patted
me on the shoulder and winked; then he joined Samantha and her
friends. I stayed behind with Sylvia, while Bob served some customers
who had just sat down.

«So,
Bill, what’d you think?» the blonde English girl asked
me, without stopping her work in the bar.

«Fine.
It’s still early on in the game, but I think I’ll learn
fast enough.»

«When
are you starting?»

«Next
week. We’ll have our shifts together.»

«Hmm,
great. I’ll be your teacher.»

She spoke
without looking up, but the way she moved and the song in her voice
made those words anything but innocent. I had no idea if another
woman with Sylvia’s looks could have come across as modest or
innocent, but Sylvia certainly couldn’t.

«How
long have you been working here?» I asked her, but I didn’t
hear her reply. Bob had already called her from the other side of the
counter. Yet, Sylvia found a way to reply, showing me three fingers.
I smiled at her and she at me, before serving the round of beers a
table had just ordered.

JJ’s
suddenly filled to the brim around eight o’ clock, and just as
suddenly emptied around half past eleven. My brother told Sylvia that
she could leave earlier than usual, since we all four were there.
After the pub close, what had to be done was cash up, wash all the
glasses and dishes, dry them, replacing them in their cupboards,
ready for the morning shift. Mornings, on the other hand, involved
sweeping and mopping the floor, ordering and fetching the new
supplies, and various other chores.

After
showing me how to cash up, Pavlos revealed the pub’s secret:
every night, the day’s takings were hidden away in the shed,
and only the four of us knew about the hiding place. It was too
dangerous to go out in the street with so much cash on you. 

Pavlos was
all too aware of this fact. He’d been mugged three times
before. The first time, the mugger made off with all his money. The
second and third times, he had only been carrying a small amount, to
minimise the loss if followed and mugged. Hence, the money was kept
in the shed until the next morning, when it was hurried straight to
the bank. 

When we
were about to go, Pavlos gave me two keys. «Take them. This one
opens the shop and the other the flat. Come and go whenever you
please. You don’t have to ask anyone’s permission.»

Walking
through our apartment door that night, I felt relieved. I would
finally sleep like a log, in a normal bed, under a warm duvet, my
head on a soft pillow. The day had been full and satisfying, and that
was the perfect way to end it. Without troubling thoughts, without
worries, without unwanted feelings, without any dirty T-shirts.

Lying
down, I stared at the ceiling through the darkness. I was happy. Only
three days had passed since I ran away from Greece, but nothing of
the fracas reached my ears anymore.

 
30

The next
morning, when I woke up, Samantha had already left for the pub,
sticking to her work schedule for one last week. I stepped out of my
room, stumbling into my brother, who was watching TV in the sitting
room.

«Morning.»

«Morning.»

«There’s
steaming hot coffee. Help yourself and come join me», he said,
spread out on the triple sofa. 

I did,
sitting opposite him.

«It’s
a beautiful day out there. What do you want to do? Go downtown?»

I thought
about it for a while. «You know what?»

«I’m
all ears.»

«I
want you to take me to where they’re buried.»

He fretted
over this awhile. «Why don’t we leave this for another
day?»

«I’d
rather we went today. It will fend off what plagues me inside.»

He agreed.

Half an
hour later, we reached the cemetery in his blue Vauxhall. Stepping
inside the little stone entryway, I followed him all the way to the
two tombs.

«They’re
here», he sighed, his head bent, eyes on the ground.

I stood
next to him, silent.

«What
do you feel?»

«Nothing»,
I replied sincerely. «I don’t know if I should feel
ashamed of myself.»

«Why
should you? You never met them, how can you feel anything?»

Exactly. I
was merely looking at the tombs of two strangers, whose son happened
to be my brother. It was as if I had simply sprung up from the earth
without any parents. I was a pebble someone gathered from the sea. 

«I
remember all the fights when Mum fell pregnant with you», he
started telling me. «Every day, there were quarrels and doors
that slammed shut with force. There were days they didn’t say a
word. Mum wanted to keep you, while he asked her to have an abortion.
And then, more shouts and rows and Mum would cry. It was so hard for
me. At some point, the rows stopped and I thought Dad had given up.»

He started
speaking like a volcano that after forcing its lava down for ages, in
the end erupts. He became burnt by his own flames; I could see it in
his eyes — they had turned an angry red. 

«I
was so happy when you were born. At last, I had a brother! But they
had already made their decision. Actually, Dad made his decision and
Mum just obeyed. I don’t know how he managed to convince her. I
never asked. When I found out you weren’t coming with us to
England, they used the excuse that we were leaving you with Aunt
Urania for only a little while, until we had settled in London. Then,
one of them would return to get you. I believed them. When they
finally revealed that you would be staying with Aunt Urania forever,
I hated them. I really did. I despised them. I despised my parents
and Aunt Urania for accepting it all. And I despised myself, because
they chose me for the simple reason I was older.»