Accepted Fate (32 page)

My sight is blurred from the overload of tears trying to escape the small ducts. The limestone is wet from my hysterics. "I need you Grams. How do I live without you? I was supposed to have you at graduation or my wedding or at the birth of a child. Now that you're not here to see any of that, I don't want it at all. It's not fair. I just want you back." My emotions are running wild. I can't breathe. My chest begins to spasm, gasping for breath that will not come. I begin to panic, feeling like a fish out of water. I can't move as I fight to breathe. Balling up in a fetal position trying to find relief, I begin to wheeze.  I need my emergency inhaler but I can't stop crying. I guess it's like the saying,
when it rains it pours.
It has been a long time coming. I haven't had an attack like this since my first one when I found out Grams passed away.

Just then dad kneels down and picks me up, cradling me in his arms. "Shh. Shh. It's okay baby girl. Calm down. You need to breathe. Take long deep breaths." Mom holds my inhaler out for me to grab. Holding it to my mouth, I release the mist and inhale into my lungs. I can finally breathe, but the tears continue to pour down my face. "It's okay to let it out sometimes baby. It's not healthy to keep it all inside. I know you miss her. We all do. She will always be in your heart baby girl. Anytime you need her, just call her and she'll be listening. You can't stop living because she is gone. What is a life if it's not lived to its fullest? She wouldn't want that for you." 

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I lay my head on dad's shoulder as my heart rate calms slowly. My limbs are numb and tingling from the lack of oxygen before my parents got to me, which means my legs will give out if I stand so I let him carry me to the car. When he turns around to walk back to the car, I look over his shoulder. "Goodbye Grams." The moment the words escape my lips a small bird lands on the headstone in my puddle of tears. When our eyes meet, it begins to chirp. It may be silly but I believe it's a sign she heard me. Suddenly exhausted from my emotional free fall my eyes drift closed to the beautiful face of one charming southern boy.

Mom had to give me my anxiety medicine once we got to the car because of my panic attack this morning. It usually puts me out of it for a while. From the car ride to the flight is all a big blur. The plane just landed at the New Orleans airport. Mom and dad are having all our vehicles transported so we will have to get a rental until everything arrives.

Since the movers took care of everything, all we have with us is personal belongings, which makes arriving that much easier since we can skip baggage claim. I'm officially in the south for the first time in my life. I'm not sure what to expect once we get to Mississippi but I'm ready to get it over with. I just want to go to sleep. Dad said we have a bit of a drive ahead, so I think I'll do just that. Sleep always takes care of an over worked mind, allowing you to temporarily forget.

My eyes flutter open to a big green exit sign overhead that reads Highway 98 West Hattiesburg/Columbia. Dad takes the exit and what looks like a main strip of town comes into view. Well I have to admit by the looks of all the businesses, maybe I exaggerated slightly on how bad it was here. I guess I will find out soon enough. We pass by several shops and restaurants and I even notice Turtle Creek Mall as we drive down the highway. It's an odd name for a mall.

Just as I'm about to complain about the long drive, dad turns onto a road marked as Canebrake subdivision. He drives down the road, weaving through the houses lined on each side. Some really big and some average, but most really nice. He finally pulls in a house with a sold marker staked in the grass of the front yard. I have to give my parents props on house shopping because it's beautiful. I'm guessing, this is the more prosperous people of the area that live here by the looks of everything.

Dad kills the engine to the car and we all get out in unison. Walking in front of the vehicle, dad stops beside me, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me close to him. "Well does this beat cow fields and trailer parks?"

The memory of dinner that night and how rude I was over that span of days plays back through my mind. I'm almost embarrassed remembering how I acted. "About that…I'm sorry dad. I was a brat and I didn't mean any of it. I was in shock and caught off guard. You were right; I shouldn't be judgmental."

"I know baby girl. It's going to be a big change for everyone. What's important is we remain a tight knit family. This is going to be difficult for all of us. We all left something behind. Come on, you still have to see your room. I'm sure your mother is dying to decorate. My credit card is already dreading it," he teases.

Walking inside, the house is massive. The exterior didn't do the interior justice. The ceilings have to be twelve foot and everything is so open downstairs. There are boxes scattered everywhere throughout the room as well as the new furniture. Mom didn't want the hassle of transporting a house full of furniture so she sold it and bought new. She said a new house deserves a new look. Personally, I could care less what kind of furniture we have. Mom has really good taste though. It's crazy she is a lawyer and not an interior decorator or designer. The woman has mad skills, so I gave her free reign with my room. I'm standing in the middle of the foyer, trying to take everything in.

"Sweetie, I had the furniture guys put your furniture in one of the rooms upstairs. If you don't like it we can move it to the room of your choice. I thought you would want the bigger one since Konnor is going to be away at school." Following her voice, I look over and mom is coming in the door with an arm full of bags.

"That's fine mom. I'll look in a bit. I think I'm going to check out the patio and pool." I can see the glass doors that lead outside across the room. If it stays as hot as it is outside right now, I'm sure the pool is going to be where I'm at when I'm home and not sleeping. The heat here is ridiculous. It's hard to breathe compared to the California heat.

Walking outside, I stop on the patio in front of the pool. Well it definitely doesn't have the view of the California Hills but I guess it isn't so bad. It could have been worse from the things that my mind had imagined up. I sit down in the lounger on the edge of the pool and pull my shades over my eyes. Maybe I can go find my box of swimsuits. I'm sweating profusely.

"You must be my new neighbor," is yelled across the pool. "Is it okay if I come through the gate?" Turning my head towards the gate to the backyard, I see a girl that looks about my age standing in the opening of the now open gate. She has long, dark red, freshly curled hair bouncing as she walks. She is tall with slender arms and legs but she still has curves. Some girls just get all the good genes; height plus the perks of a curvy figure. She is tan too and it doesn't look like fake and bake tan, but natural. She is definitely the most gorgeous red head I've ever seen, hands down.

"Sure. I'm not doing anything. We just arrived a little bit ago." She picks up pace and sits in the lounger beside me. Turning towards her I lean my side against the back of the chair. "I'm Kinzleigh, what's your name?"

She holds out her perfectly manicured hand toward me. "Aren't you the prettiest thing. I'm Adalynn and it's nice to meet you." Yep, I'm definitely not in California anymore. It's going to take a while to get used to that accent. It was sexy on Breyson, but I guess it's going to be different on everyone else. I grab her hand. Apparently this is a common thing amongst southerners because I remember Breyson doing the same thing, but this time I'll try not to look like an idiot.

"It's nice to meet you too Adalynn. Don't take this the wrong way, but you're different than the type of girl I expected to meet. You're gorgeous."

"That's okay hun, trust me, being from the south you get used to the stereotypes that come our way. Where are y'all from? I'll have to admit, I've been dying to see who's moving in since the house sold." You can tell she is high maintenance. Maybe a friendship is in the works. I definitely need something to keep me busy.

"I'm from California. My dad moved here to expand his business." Her brows dip in between her eyes and she looks like she is thinking something over. "What's wrong? Did I say something bad?"

"What did you say your name was?"

"Kinzleigh. It's Kinzleigh Baker. Why?" Her eyes light up and a small smile begins to form on her face.  

"Do you know anyone around here Kinzleigh?" Why on earth would I know anyone around here? I shake my head at her. "What part of California are you from? I've always wanted to go there but my parents don't like to travel much."

"Ever heard of Laguna Beach? Like the MTV show." Her eyes widen and she has a mischievous gleam in her eyes. If she is anything like Presley I am in trouble. Then again, maybe it'll be easier to be away from her with someone like her.

She nods. "Well the boys are going to love you; a few particular ones especially. You're beautiful and we don't get new girls that often; especially that look the way you do." She grins. "Are you going to be at Oak Grove in August?"

"I think so. Honestly, I've been so upset about this move I haven't asked that many questions but the name sounds familiar. Is that where you go to school?" Please say yes. I think I like this girl.

Nodding, she asks, "Are you a cheerleader? I can usually pin point them pretty far away."

"I am actually. I just tried out for a national squad and was supposed to be captain at my school senior year and now everything is getting pulled out from under me."

"Well Kinzleigh Baker, it's your lucky day because I happen to be the squad captain and I think we have room for another person. What do you say; you up for it?"

I'm grinning so hard I can't even speak. Is this really happening? I actually can continue cheering. Maybe everything will work out after all. Without much thought, I grab her up and give her a big bear hug. "YES!" I release her and cover my mouth not meaning to scream so loud. "Sorry, you don't realize how much you have just made my day. You don't need me to show you anything or try out though?"

"Nope. I get the vibe you know more stuff than some of the girls on the squad. We need someone else to whip them into shape. I have a good feeling about you; a feeling you and I will be best friends. Actually, I am sure of it. I've got to go to some family thing, but I'm picking you up in the morning to show you around a little bit. Have your measurements when I get here so we can put in a rush order for your cheerleading uniform. Wear a swimsuit. A bunch of us are going to the creek."

She stands to leave. Oh my. Did she just say a creek? Ewe. She notices the look of disgust on my face. "Don't worry, I'll have you broken in before long. You'll be a southern girl in no time. Get ready Miss Southern Belle in training." She gets to the gate and stops. Turning back to me, now with a serious demeanor on her face she says, "Oh and Kinzleigh. I think you'll like it here. Give it some time and you'll see." She leaves without another word. Maybe, just maybe, I will like it here. If everyone is like her it can't be that bad.

***

I stayed up late last night unpacking. I was also slightly nervous about meeting new people today. I've been in my own little bubble with people I know all my life and now I have to completely start over, knowing no one. There are only a couple of weeks left until high school starts back, which means football games and cheerleading. I cannot believe I am going to be a senior. The thought of everything being so new scares me, but all I care about is cheering. At least I have the opportunity.

It's almost time for Adalynn to be here. The thought of swimming in mucky, snake infested water keeps running through my mind, setting off red flags. I can't believe people actually swim in creeks. The only time I have ever seen one is on country music videos, which I rarely watch. Digging through my box of swimsuits, I'm not sure what to wear. I definitely am not wearing white or designer because there is no telling what it will look like after being in a dirty, murky creek. I'm not even sure that I'm getting in the water.

I settle on a basic bright blue and mint green bikini from Victoria's Secret. At least it's not one of my expensive ones but it still bothers me because I take really good care of my things. What do you even take to a creek? Surely we're not laying in the dirt.

Playing twenty questions in my head, I hear the doorbell chime throughout the house. Running in the bathroom, I change into my swimsuit quickly. "Kinzleigh, you have company!" Mom yells up the stairs from the bottom.

"I'll be right down. Give me a few minutes," I yell in return. Moments later, a knock sounds at my door just as I'm coming back into my room. "Come in."

The door opens and Adalynn is standing on the other side, looking just as gorgeous as ever. The girl could be a model and it makes me feel plain and ordinary. "Hey girlie. You about ready?" She looks me over and whistles. "Dang girl, check out that body. You're nothing but muscle and curves. I can't wait to show you off," she says playfully.

"What are you talking about? Look at you. You're beautiful. I don't even compare to you." Her face is clearly amused by my comment.

"I feel honored that you see me that way but stop it. You really don't see it do you?" Did I miss something?

"What do you mean?"

"Girl you are hot. I have no idea why you are so humble but it just makes me like you more. The guys are going to be drooling at your feet. You're a really likable girl but we need to bring you out of that shell. You need to use what you've got to your advantage. This modest, shy girl vibe you give off has got to go." She teases as she steers me to stand in the mirror and begins talking at our reflections. "You're wasting that gorgeous figure. Own it and show it off, because it rocks." I swear the girl could be Presley's long lost twin; at least by the aspects of her personality. I don't know how I draw these types of people. It's like I have a stamp on my forehead, flashing.

I roll my eyes. "What exactly are we supposed to take to a creek?" Every time I say it, I have the same reaction.