And the Sweet (Addiction Series Book 2) (19 page)

“I love you. Nothing and no one will ever stop that. Nothing and no one will ever take me away from you again or break us down. I swear on my life. Do you understand?” She nods at my questions and I nod back. “Good. You are my whole life, Cecelia. I swear it.”

And with that declaration, I kiss her.

It’s hard. It’s possessive. It’s marking and staking.

My tongue sweeps into her mouth, caressing hers as our breaths mix. Her hands wrap around my neck, holding me to her tight as fingers grip at the short hairs at the nape of my neck. She’s scratching and pulling. Pushing her tight body so close to mine we’re practically melding together. I want her so badly, I almost think of just taking her right here. But it’s a show and that’s what that fucker wants and he’s not getting it. Not again. But I can’t help how desperately I need to have her. Over me, under me, completely surrounding me.

“I’m wanna fuck you so badly,” I gasp as we break apart for air. “I wanna take you home and fuck you all night long. I need to be inside you so badly it’s hard to breathe.”

Celia nods, her chest rising and falling rapidly. “I need you all over me. Do you need to stay? Are you fighting?”

“No. Too many guys tonight. We can leave.” Stepping back, I find my hand shaking as I reach for her. My need is so great, it’s coursing through my veins like fire. As I look back toward the group, to those who had been watching, I notice Bryson or Bryant or whatever has a pissed off look on his face. Apparently our little show angered him. Perhaps he thought I’d blow up or try to start something. Maybe even challenge him. I’m not an idiot. He has no idea who he’s messed with. I haven’t made a challenge on anyone yet, even though many have given me ample reason to. I won’t start with him and his game though. And I’m not leaving without placing my bets. “Stretch! I’m out. Catch you later.”

“See ya, man. You kids have fun.”

Laughter rings behind us, mocking and good-natured teases follow our steps. I ignore the jests made in contempt as Celia and I hurry back to our home so I can keep my promise to her.

TWENTY

I’m not typically a nervous guy.

Growing up, surrounded by empty rooms and stilted affection, I lived a very apathetic existence to most situations. While I had Connie looking after me, she only traveled beside me so far before she too was gone. So I dealt with every situation that came up on my own. Whether I dealt with it rationally or logically or even emotionally level-headed is not up for debate. I did what I had to in order to get by and that was that. Nervousness really didn’t have a place.

The only times I’ve ever dealt with nervousness involve Cecelia. She’s my weakness, my Achilles. Cecelia Santos is the thing that makes or breaks me.

Too many people know this truth. Fortunately though, I don’t let them use it against me. Because while she is a weakness, Cecelia Santos is also my greatest strength.

Her vibrant eyes, her stunning smile, her enchanting beauty, her whole existence, really, makes me want to do better. Be better. I am better because of her.

But she makes me nervous.

Like right now for example.

The digital clock next to my bed reads just after nine as I pace from the bedroom to the front room and back again. Cecelia still has another couple of hours to go before her shift is over.

It’s Thursday. Her third day back at work since she told me about Bryson or Bryant or whatever the fuck his name is.

I didn’t want her to go in at all this week. Or ever again, if I’m being honest. But that’s not really something that’s feasible. Besides her pride, which I am not willing to wound, money is a big deal to us. We know what it’s like to struggle, it’s not something we enjoy going through.

On top of that, we only both recently got access to company provided health-care.

For most, this isn’t a big deal. You get a certain type of job growing up, fast food, retail, something along those lines, and as you move into the “real world” of a career, benefits like health insurance are a normal progression. For most people.

Cecelia and I have never been like most people.

So this is a very big deal to us.

Considering the fights I’m in, and Cecelia’s birth control, since we definitely don’t want any tiny surprises, it’s hard to save money on healthcare, even with me bringing in large coin when I fight. Besides, I know how much Ben and Tandy struggled with some of their bills after his accident. And they’re both accountants!

It would have been much worse if not for insurance and I do not have any desire to live that way. I mean it’s nice winning a few thousand dollars a week, but Ben’s accident? That was hundreds of thousands of dollars when all was said and done.

Even my big win against the Three Stooges wouldn’t have covered one of Ben’s bills.

So yeah, no thank you.

But it’s not just that though. I know Cecelia doesn’t want to appear afraid. She doesn’t want this fuck-off to think he’s gotten to her. He may have something on us, something we can’t take back or ignore and it goes away, but there’s no way in hell either one of us will ever cower to him. Friday night was a brief moment of panic. We experienced it and got it out of our systems. For the most part.

Obviously it’s lingering.

I don’t like Cecelia at work where I can’t protect her. Yes, I could visit her and keep tabs, but her shift starts while I’m still at my own job. And I can’t spend all my time watching for a possibility. Because then this jackoff succeeds in rattling us. Which we don’t want him to do.

So I’m pacing the carpet away, the television playing some sporting event in the background that I haven’t bothered to pay attention to since it started. I think it’s a college football game
though again, I’m not paying attention to it to know for certain. It’s been a long time since I cared about sports of any kind other than my fighting.

Once upon a time, hockey was my whole life. Especially once Connie was gone. I lived it, breathed it because I had nothing else worthwhile. There was nothing in this world more important to me than playing. I was good at it. Hell, I was great at it. When you have a professional team, like the Dallas Stars scouting you, it’s pretty easy to say you’re good. And can do so without looking like you’re simply bragging.

But of course that all changed once I was tossed into rehab.

Why would any team, at any level want me now? They have stringent rules. Using drugs or being an alcoholic is not a positive for any team.

But with school, I wasn’t kicked off my high school team. They didn’t have the chance. Since I was put in rehab, my parents made an executive decision to pull me from school, severe ties with that whole part of my life, and basically made me out to look like I was some kind of felon that they needed to lock away forever.

Yeah, I found that part after speaking to Ben one night.

It was such a ridiculous conversation we’d been having about Sam, one of my nephews, when all of a sudden, he’d mentioned offhandedly seeing my old friend Nolan.

“Hey, so do you remember your friend from school, Nolan?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

“Have you guys kept in touch at all since high school?”

I laughed. “Hardly. I haven’t spoken to anyone from school since I was yanked out. Mr. and Mrs. Delane made sure of that.”

“Oh well, Tandy and I saw him the other day.” There was a lull as I heard Tandy in the background speaking to one of their kids, before Ben started speaking again. “We were checking out some new schools in case Levi wants to transfer for high school to up his shot for a good art school, and decided to hit up McDonald’s for a quick lunch. He was there with his family.”

“His family?” I asked on a slight cough. Growing up, I never really imagined Nolan Norton the Third with a family. He always seemed too childish, too ridiculous, really, to settle down. I’d believe he got a girl pregnant on accident, but not have a family willingly. “He has a family? You sure it wasn’t a pass off?”

“No, no, I wasn’t going to at first, but we said hi. He didn’t remember me at first, you guys being so much younger, but we had a quick conversation.” Another moment passed as Ben spoke once more to Tandy, something about taking steaks out to thaw before he came back to the line. Made me jealous to think about all those home cooked meals Connie used to make for me. Because while Celia knew how to cook, we have a meager budget. Steaks were not a part of it. “He’s been married for about five years now and they have two kids, a boy and a girl.”

“Wow. So who’d he marry?” I shouldn’t have, but I felt left out. And left behind. My best friend for so long had gotten married, had started a family. He’d grown up and I’d…well, I’d literally been fighting for my life.

It was irrational, we’d led such different lives, even during our friendship as kids, but I’d always hoped Nolan would have stuck mine out with me.

“Some girl he said you guys went to high school with, someone named Britney.”

Whatever Ben planned to say next was halted by my choking. I was almost too shocked to form words. All I could think about was the last real conversation Nolan and I’d had. It’d been a debate about girl who’d tried to hit on me, while calling Nolan the wrong name, and how there was a very valid reason for me to turn her down, the biggest being her douche of a boyfriend and her enjoyment of his jealousy issues when it came to the guys she liked to hit on.

“Wow. I…I’m sorry. I just…find that so fucking funny,” I finally spit out with a laugh. “The only Britney I remember was a bit of a…well, she was a bit of a ho who liked driving her boyfriend crazy to the point where he beat up other guys. I can’t imagine Nolan hooking up with her.”

“Well I don’t know if it’s the same girl, but he’s married now. And with kids. Guess he works as a dentist while she’s a stay-at-home mom.”

I allowed this information to sink in. I allowed it to sink in as I looked around my one-bedroom apartment in the Southside of Chicago. We’d gone on to lead such different lives.

Where I’d been a kid just seeking attention, falling down the rabbit hole because of the emptiness in my life, the path I was set on the moment my parents tossed me into rehab and walked away, it’d changed my whole life. I might have had a shot at normalcy. But they’d left me behind. They’d forgotten me; hated me. And in the end, my life became what it was.

It’s raw. It’s gritty. It was dangerous most days.

I might have drank too much and popped pills I shouldn’t have, but I never would’ve gone further than that if I’d had even just one of them in my corner. I never would have known the taste of cocaine. I’d never have scarred knuckles from the countless fights.

I’d never have known Cecelia Santos either. At least not like I do. So while my life did not travel the path I once thought it might go down, I couldn’t say I regretted
her
one bit.

“Did he, um, did he ask about me?” I felt like a bitch asking that question, but when you’re friends with someone for more than a decade, I figured it was okay to wonder.

There was a hesitation before Ben finally answered. “Uh, well, while we were talking, Tandy mentioned how we’d just talked to you a few weeks earlier and she was sure you’d love to hear from him. Maybe catch up.” He was silent again. I didn’t take that as a very positive sign. I wasn’t sure why the mention of me would be negative but, well, I had the feeling.

“And?”

“And he wrote down his number real quick, handed it over and said he needed to get back to his kids.”

I remember taking the number down from Ben. I remember ending the call with my brother, still wondering why my old friend had had such an adverse reaction to the mention of me. I remember thinking, it shouldn’t be that bad. True the last time he’d seen me I’d been in a bad way, passed out from too much booze and pills before I was locked away to get clean. But Nolan always knew I drank. He did too. So I didn’t know what was going on. I did know I was going to call and find out though.

The moment the phone rang, and my old friend’s voice came through the speaker, that question in his tone because he didn’t recognize the number, I wondered if this was a good idea.

“Hello?”

“Uh, hey. Nolan? It’s Chace. Chace Delane.”

“Oh. Hello.”

His voice was cold. While I knew it’d been a long time, I mean I was sixteen the last time I’d seen or spoken to Nolan, I didn’t expect him to be hostile. And other than scaring the shit out of him, I couldn’t imagine anything I’d have done that would cause his inimical reaction to me. “Hey, so my brother told me he saw you the other day. Said you have a family and are a dentist. Congrats, man!”

“Thank you.”

“So, who did you marry, and when?”

“I’ve been married five years to Britney. I’m sure you remember
her
,” Nolan’s voice was clipped, like he was lecturing me for something. Cleary twenty-six year old Nolan was not the same as sixteen year old Nolan when it came to women. Which was good, but still, my reasons against Britney back then weren’t unfounded. He of all people should have known that. “I have two children.”

“Wow. That’s… great, man. Congrats. Again.”

“What do you want?”

“What?”

“What do you want, Chace? Why did you call?”

“What? My brother told me he saw you, thought I’d want to catch up with my best friend. I know it’s been quite a few years but-”

“Former.”

“What?”

“Former. Former best friend. Chace,” Nolan sighed, sounding like I was putting him out. “Looking back on our time, I can see how screwed up you were. I can see how foolish I was to spend time with you thinking you were my friend. But I’ve had some time to evaluate things. To be honest, I’m surprised to hear you’re even still alive, especially from the way your parents have spoken of your recklessness.”

“My reckless…what are you talking about?”

“Your parents, Chace. They told my parents what really happened that night. Remember the night I found you? How you tried to kill yourself for attention and pulled me into it. They told us how you skipped out of rehab with some tramp and tried hitting them and then your brother up for money to buy drugs. Really, Chace,” Nolan scolded again. He sounded like my father. He sounded stuck up and like the very people we used to despise. What the hell happened? “What is wrong with you? You had everything you ever wanted, tossed it away, and you acted like you were so much better than everyone else.”

“Nolan, no. I don’t know why my parents told you what they did, but none of it is the truth. They left me there. I got out at eighteen. I couldn’t talk to anyone. I wasn’t allowed to. I mean you remember how they were, right? Always gone, uncaring. They abandoned me there.”

“Save it. And while you’re at it, lose my number. I knew it was a mistake giving it to your brother.”

The line went dead after that and with it the completion of my friendship with Nolan Norton the Third.

It’s stupid to think that misperception, or worse, lies told by people who don’t give a damn about me could make my best friend for a decade change their opinion of me, but it happened. It happened and he apparently hadn’t even considered that the bullshit he had been told was in fact, bullshit. As though all of our time spent as friends was imaginary.