Anywhere But Here (The Starborn Ascension) (4 page)

I jump from the flowerbed and land inches from Gabe. “How old are you?” I ask.
 

“Twenty-five, you know that already.”

“Be a man!” I nearly yell. One or two heads in the distance turn to look in our direction, but no one stays interested for very long. Gabe is stone faced as I stare into him. “As lead scout it’s important to know who you’re working for,” I say, whispering now. “If Paxton and the elders are answering to someone else, don’t you think you should know about it?”

His silence is my answer.
 

“I’m just letting you know that I’m willing to go in and find out for you.”

“Why?” he asks. “What’s in it for you?”

“You’ll let me be a soldier,” I say. “You could use a person like me. I bet I can shoot better than any person here.” I take one step closer to him, my face only inches from his. I can feel his nervousness, or perhaps it’s my own heartbeat pounding away. “Including you.”

I turn away sharply and walk to the entrance of my apartment building, placing my hand on the door handle. Before I open it, I look back at him.
 

“If you’re caught, you could get into serious trouble,” he says. “
I
could get into serious trouble.”

“I’m not a rat,” I say. “If I get caught, I will deal with the consequences myself. Do you want me to find out more or not?”

He looks from side-to-side before finally placing his eyes on me. He nods. “Paxton keeps a journal in a desk on the second floor of the headquarters building. I’m pretty sure he keeps record of everything in it. You find out who this guy is, and I’ll give you a shot.”

“Good,” I say, opening the door. “I’m tired of babysitting kids at the town nursery. I swear you people are so sexist.”

Gabe grins at me and turns to walk away while I go into the apartment building. I let out a sigh as I think about my luck to have been given an apartment on the top floor. The several climbs up and down per day weren’t annoying
at all
. I shake my head once I reach the fifth floor. I bet they only give new citizens the top floor apartments to test their perseverance. When I had first walked into this building I had been happy to see an elevator, but my brief lapse of thought caused me to forget that it probably hadn’t been working for the past three years since the outbreak. When groups of people started banding together in towns, they began to strictly conserve energy. It costs a lot more to run electricity now - not money, but fuel. Finding a place with electricity is golden. It might only mean a lamp in your room, but never something so luxurious as an elevator.
 

Crestwood may be nice by standards of living in this greyskin-infested world, but it obviously had its problems in the early days. The stairs are dirty, splattered with sticky remains of who-knows what. Even when I walk into my apartment, I can’t help but notice the scratches and dried, dark stains on the walls and floors that someone had obviously failed to remove prior to my coming. I can only imagine what might have happened here. Nothing I haven’t seen before, I’m sure. And I have stayed in worse places. At least this studio apartment has a bed and couch, running water, and a place to sit and eat. The living space is tiny, but it is perfect for me.
 

I walk into the bathroom and turn on the faucet. The mirror in front of me is foggy and crusted with grime. I look healthier than I have in a long time. My eyes are regaining a little bit of their brightness again, and I’m not as skinny as I was. This would have been of some concern about three years ago, but I’m just happy to eat now. I splash some water on my face and turn off the faucet.

I walk out of the bathroom and into the living area to the only window in the room. One advantage to living on the fifth floor is getting a good view of the town. I bet I can see further over the wall from here than any of the soldiers who patrol it.
 

I think about what I proposed to Gabe. I know he wasn’t asking me to do anything for him. I’m sure what I said took him off guard, but three years on the road have given me an itch that I can’t get rid of just yet. I’ve only been here for three months and the thought of walking anywhere without my gun and knife makes me feel exposed and defenseless. I suppose that’s the main reason I want to be a soldier. I don’t care about scouting beyond the wall. I don’t even care about standing at the wall, waiting for something to show up. I just want my weapons back. In this world, when someone strips you of your weapons, he strips you of all you have.

I look down at the wall and see Gabe talking to one of his soldiers. To this day, I still can’t figure why Paxton had asked me about special abilities. How could he have known that for the past year I’ve been able to hear things better than any other person? I know exactly when it happened, but I don’t know why. All I know is that it has stayed with me since.

I stare down at Gabe and turn my head slightly. His voice enters my head almost as if I’m standing right next to him.
 

“That’s what I was thinking,” he says. “Just make sure you let me know if it comes down to that, okay?”

“Okay,” the soldier on the wall says to him.
 

I turn my head away, and I can hear him no longer. I have no idea what he was talking about, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t plan to tell him why I know I won’t be caught. I can hear someone coming long before they get to me. If I wanted, I would be able to hear the conversation of anyone in the town so long as I knew where to listen. I won’t get caught snooping through the elder’s secret documents because when I sneak into Headquarters and steal the journal, I will be able to hear every snore, every sleep-talker, every person that gets up to pee. And if anyone hears me, I’ll be gone before they even take a step.

It is well past midnight before Gilbert turns the SUV down a side road to make camp for the night. Ethan questions his decision, but Gilbert tells us that we will run out of gas in the next 100 miles or so and we need to figure out the best place to find fuel so we can actually get to the town of Crestwood .

The road winds through a forest and he eventually stops when he sees a small clearing surrounded by large trees. I open the door and step out onto the grass as the cold wind nearly knocks the breath out of me.
 

“It’s going to be cold tonight,” Ethan says to no one in particular. “The nights are getting colder the farther north we travel. We might want to sleep in the car.”
 

“You can sleep in there all you want,” Gilbert says, “but you can’t have the heat on. Uses too much gas. Besides, the back window is shot out. I say we build a fire.”

“Build a fire so raiders and greyskins can see us for miles?" Ethan says.

Gilbert holds out his hands and turns. “Why do you think I drove us back here? No one is going to see a fire out here. We’ve driven long enough to know the raiders didn’t follow us, and we’ll take turns staying up to watch for greyskins.”

Ethan doesn’t respond, but I care nothing about raiders or the greyskins. All I care about is getting warm.
 

“Fire sounds good to me,” I say quietly.
 

“You see?” Gilbert says. “She agrees with me.”

I don’t know how I feel about Gilbert being happy that I agree with him, but I don’t even acknowledge his words.
 

“You guys want to see what’s in the back of the SUV?” Gilbert asks.
 

Neither Ethan nor I answer him, but we gather around. He opens a satchel he found in the front seat and pulls out a flashlight as the hatchback of the SUV opens. He flips up a small compartment and what we see makes Ethan light up. Gilbert reaches down and pulls out a shiny rifle that looks as if it has never been fired. This hidden compartment is full of guns and ammunition. No doubt it will help the group and all, but I don’t want any part of it. We aren’t used to carrying weapons like these. At least I’m not.
 

Lucas and I had always avoided using guns. Firing one only meant drawing in more greyskins. Sure, they were good for blowing away a few at a time, but the sound carries so far, there is no way a greyskin
wouldn’t
hear it and come running.

When Gilbert is done gawking at the firearms, we finally start gathering wood for the fire and within an hour, the front of me toasts warmly while my back is nearly frozen.
 

The three of us sit in silence as the fire eats away at the wood, falling into smoldering coals that give off a heat warm enough to make my brow sweat. The moon illuminates the cold fog that lingers throughout the trees in the forest and the flickering flames cast our shadowed forms along the trunks. I try not to look into the trees at all. Despite the security they bring, shielding us from curious eyes, I hate how little I can see into the distance. I hate the trees because I never know what might be lurking behind them. That’s why I keep my eyes on the fire.
 

As we sit, all I can think about is Lucas. It pains me to know it, but I doubt there is anything left of him now. The greyskins devour every bit of a fresh body. I often wonder how there can be so many greyskins in the world when they eat so many of their victims. I suppose there are so many people that escape the fate of being completely eaten, only to be scratched or bitten, the poisonous saliva or blood mixing with theirs.
 

How could all of this have happened? How could humanity be reduced to an existence of mere survival within a span of three years? How had this disease spread so rapidly?
 

I have feared the greyskins more than anything. And even after our run-in with Scarecrow and his men, I still fear the greyskins more. There is just something disturbing about a creature that used to be a person like me but is now walking about mindlessly. Any time I see greyskins, I know that they were once average people like me who were simply at the wrong place at the wrong time. They had been scratched or bitten. Then, within twenty-four hours, they were dead, only to wake back up, their skin an ashy, grey color, their eyes almost black and dripping with mucus. And over time their skin just rotted, but their body kept moving, motivated only by the desire to eat human flesh, to taste blood. It has been a never-ending nightmare for the past three years.

I look up from the fire and my eyes fall on the other two. Gilbert sits and studies his new weapons from the SUV, and Ethan…he seems different than Gilbert. I guess we are all different, but for him, it’s something I can’t place. He doesn’t carry any of the guns from the SUV. Instead he has a baseball bat that was probably once a light-colored wood but is now stained brown and black from so many greyskin head-bashings.

Lucas and I had only been with these two for a couple of days, but from what I understand, they have not known each other for very long at all. I suppose that is why the silence persists. Neither of them really knows the other that well.

Ethan stokes the fire with a long stick, maneuvering branches so the flames burn brighter and hotter. I watch him as he swallows, and moves his mouth like he wants to say something. He clears his throat and looks at me. I dart my eyes away, but they find Ethan’s again. He smiles at me for a second before setting his stick down and standing.

“I uh…I think we ought to recognize Lucas’ bravery tonight,” he says, his eyes lowering to meet mine again. “I didn’t know him very well, but he did a good thing today.”

“That’s debatable,” Gilbert says out of the side of his mouth.
 

I can feel myself scowl, but I don’t look at him. Instead, I stare directly into the flames as tears come to my eyes. I reach for the chain around my neck and pull out the small diamond ring. My finger rubs at the precious stone and tears start to form in my eyes.
 

“Be respectful,” Ethan chides Gilbert. “None of us could have known what was going to happen. If the raiders hadn’t shot, the greyskins might not have come. The raiders might have killed all of us.” He takes a deep breath and bends down to pick his stick back up. He pushes a few of the coals around, trying to rouse the heat as he sits back down.

“We’ve all lost someone,” I say. I don’t expect my voice to sound so thick, but I know they notice.
 

“Some of us have lost everyone,” Ethan says as he continues to stoke the fire. The end of the stick is charred and a flame clings to it.

“What else do you expect?” Gilbert asks. He looks at me. “I’m sorry, but it was only a matter of time for your dear Lucas.” He shakes his head. “It’s only a matter of time for any of us.”

“I don’t believe that’s true,” Ethan says.
 

“Believe what you want,” Gilbert comes back. “The greyskins are growing in number every single day. Raiders are patrolling, making these roads more and more dangerous. It’s only a matter of time before any of us face a shot to the head or the bite of a greyskin.”

“Then why are you traveling to Crestwood?” Ethan says, suddenly looking up at Gilbert. His face is red with anger. “Why do you get excited about finding a stash of guns in the back of the SUV? Why not just give up if you’re just going to take that attitude?”

Gilbert chuckles, tossing a pebble into the coals. “I’m not suicidal. Of course I’m going to try and survive for as long as I can. I just know my chances of growing old are next to nothing.” He points at me now. “I don’t get upset when someone like Lucas dies because I know it’s just a matter of time before it’s me. It’s just a matter of time before it’s either of you.”

I don’t know what it is…anger…sadness…but I can’t keep myself from speaking up. “Then why don’t you just take that gun of yours, point it at your own head and pull the trigger? Wouldn’t that be a better death than if a greyskin rips you to shreds? Isn’t it better than dying just so a raider can see what you might have in your pocket? Don’t sit there and pretend that you don’t have a hope for your future. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be sitting here by the fire. You wouldn’t be giddy at the sight of rifles. If you had no hope you would already be dead.”