Balance (Off Balance Book 1) (38 page)

He grabbed my jaw, pulling it up to him in a savage hold and my stomach tightened. I looked him dead in the eyes while one of his hands slipped into my shorts. His fingers started up again and traced the outside of my lips, teasing my entrance.

“Please,” I begged. “You didn’t finish last time. I had to take care of it myself when I got home.”

Kova’s eyes darkened. “There is no need to beg, Ria,” his voice cracked. “You can take what you want. In fact, I wish you would take from me. It would be easier that way.”

Oh God. Why his words seized my heart, I didn’t know. But one thing was for sure, I was right. He wanted the same things I did, he just couldn’t actually verbalize it and needed me to take it. I wanted to take it, I just wasn’t sure how to put everything into motion. Where to start, what to say. What to do. I was a bundle of nerves. How to make it uncomplicated for Kova while giving and receiving at the same time was a challenge, one I would gladly act on.

My body was on the verge of a powerful explosion, something so new I’d yet to fully embrace.

I decided to start with a kiss.

Straining on my toes, I cupped his face and pulled it to mine. “I want you,” I whispered across his mouth. “So much,” and planted my lips to his, shocking us both.

He grasped the back of my neck while his other hand sought entrance into my opening. I moaned, rotating my hips into his palm while his fingers caressed me gently. He kissed me hard, bruising almost, letting me know just how much he wanted me despite his hesitation.

Rolling my hips into his again so I could feel pressure on my clit, I groaned and silently asked for more. A skilled finger glided down my slit and nudged its way in. I pulled his tongue into my mouth as my hands drifted off his face, down his neck where he swallowed hard, to his taut shoulders. I gave a little squeeze, letting him know everything was okay. My hands roamed over every inch of his chest, his rock hard muscles that led to his beautifully strong arms I couldn’t get enough of. Such curvature and sharpness at every arc. When my hands encircled his waist, I reached for the hem of his shirt.

The hand around my neck loosened its grip and his other hand gave one last caress over my opening before smoothly leaving the warmth of my shorts. He stepped back, separating our passionate lips, and I got what I wanted. Kova reached behind his neck and pulled his shirt off over his head and discarded it to the floor.

With a glint in his eyes and his arms spread wide, telling me to come to him, I tracked his every move as he backed away.
Take what you want.
Our eyes never wavered as he walked backward to the other side of the dance room. We both knew he wouldn’t make the first move. He was going to make sure I really wanted this—and I did.

Once I reached him, I gripped the back of his neck and climbed up his body, wrapping my legs around his waist. I’ve fantasized doing this since the first time we were together. He was big and I was small and I wanted to be held in his arms just like this.

Kova hugged me tight, one hand behind my neck, the other under my ass as he turned me around and pushed my back to the wall.

Heat blazed in his eyes as he closed the distance and pressed his chest to mine. He was a breath away from my lips when he asked, “What are we doing?”

“I don’t know.” I locked my legs around his back, rolling my hips up. His shaft was long and heavy against my center, pressing into me. Kova’s jaw flexed. Pulling his face down to mine, I licked my lips but he pulled back.

“Ria, think about what you are about to start.” He breathed slow heavy breaths.

I nodded frantically. I already knew because I’ve imagined it numerous times. “What
we
are going to start.” My fingers threaded his hair and warmth spread through me.

He ignored my last comment and asked, “You want this?”

I didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

His eyes roamed my face, searching for an uncertainty he wasn’t going to find. “Are you sure?”

I nodded.

“You realize the chances we are taking, right? What could happen to us?”

“I do.”

His brows pinched together, his voice grim. “The repercussions we face?”

“I’m aware. I’m tired of fighting this, dancing around each other. I want you.” I pressed my core against his erection.

“I am a man who can only be pushed so far.” A tick worked in Kova’s jaw. “You should not have told me that.”

I bit my lip. “Why not?”

“Because then I will not feel as bad for doing this.” He planted his mouth to mine with a fervor he’d held back until now, and I surrendered to his kiss.

Kova rested his weight on me, groaning loudly. The feel of his body on mine, the hardness of this man was euphoric. It made my head spin with bliss. He held me lovingly, his fingers caressing my face as if he was making love to my mouth. This kiss was much slower, methodic, showing me what he was capable of. His warm, thick tongue circled mine. My fingers tugged his hair, my hips undulated against him when his stubble brushed my face. He was suffocating me with his skilled mouth and I couldn’t get enough.

Kova pulled back, panting against my lips. “We really should stop.”

I ignored him. Licking my lips, I angled his head to the side and pressed my mouth to his neck. My tongue swept out, tasting his salty skin and pulled him into my mouth with a little bite.

Pushing off the wall, Kova spun around and brought our joined bodies to the floor. His lips found mine again and he quickly deepened the kiss. His arms planted on the sides of my head, caging me in. He was a beast over me, so big and large to my small frame. His raging erection settled between my legs. I wanted to feel his length, skin on skin, and maybe more. Sex would be scary the first time, no matter who I was with, but it wasn’t like I was saving myself for anyone.

Not that I planned to sleep around, either.

“Is anyone else in the gym,” I asked against his mouth.

He shook his head. “Just us. I looked around before I came in here and found you.”

I wanted to get a better hold on him. My hands left his hair and made their way to his magnificently toned back, feeling every ridge and muscle as I skimmed down and slipped my hands beneath his elastic waistband to grab his ass.

Bare.

He was going commando and I wondered if he was always like this.

“Do you normally skip the boxers?”

Kova tensed when my hands touched his flesh, then relaxed. His grin was my answer, and I melted.

“I do not own a pair of boxers,” he freely admitted.

His skin was so silky smooth, I wanted to touch him everywhere. If he didn’t own a pair, that meant he didn’t wear any to practice either. Why that enticed me more, I had no idea, but I loved the fact he was bare underneath. My hips widened as far as possible to accommodate his body, a light moan escaped my chest, allowing him to settle more deeply into my heat.

“God,” I breathed. “This feels so good.”

“More than I imagined it would.”

His needy lips met mine again, his kiss was frantic, and his rotating hips never stopped. He slowly rocked his erection back and forth against me, eliciting another moan from my mouth. He hit my clit every time, pushing me higher. My body was on fire, my skin damp. I imagined this was how he made love.

“You’re so hard, so big,” I said between kisses and he chuckled. My thighs tightened around him, the pleasure almost unbearable.

Taking a chance, my hands gingerly moved outward to his hips. I hesitated, wondering if he’d let me or tell me to stop.

As my hand slid between our bodies, a thumb raked across my nipple and my hips bucked. I wasn’t expecting him to touch me there and I surprised myself when I realized I wanted him to do it again. With parted lips and heated breath, I looked into his green eyes that had darkened while he ran his thumb in circles over my hardening nipple. Overwhelmed with sensations running through my body, I couldn’t form words and just arched into him instead.

I pushed my hand between us, gauging his reaction as I did, but he gave nothing away. Little hairs tickled my fingers, his thumb picked up the pace, and his hips stopped moving. I threaded my fingers through the softness of his curls, circling his shaft before moving lower.

I was pretty sure he didn’t expect me to cup his sack, his body tightened everywhere and his breathing became labored.

“Adrianna,” he gritted, a vein jutted from his neck. His Russian accent was stronger than ever. I loved when he said my name like that.

“Don’t tell me to stop,” I begged, caressing him in my hand. “Oh God. I’m...” I trailed off when he rubbed against me faster and faster. I needed to reach that high point so desperately.

Slowly, Kova leaned down to my neck. Not meaning to, I grasped his balls and held on. Kova cringed.

“Adrianna, lighten up. They are not stress balls. They are sensitive.”

I chuckled into his neck and apologized, rubbing them softly. A throaty moan escaped him and I smiled inwardly. Lips pressed to my neck, he laid open mouthed kisses along my jaw as he said, “I have to go, I should leave.” But he never got up. “You have to know,” he said between kisses, “I have never done this with another gymnast before. Never looked at them the way—” he hesitated.

“The way what?”

“Nothing. Never mind.”

He squeezed his eyes shut and ignored me. “Kova—” I lost all train of thought when his mouth suckled my neck so seductively. I relaxed my hold on him and moaned loudly, giving him more access.

“Ahhh...feels so good.”

When I finally moved my hand, Kova pulled back and peered down at me. The back of my fingers gently scaled his erection from base to tip. Slowly, my thumb reached out and followed the same pattern, then circled the tip. Kova shuddered, his eyes tightly rolling shut. I wasn’t sure if I was doing it right judging by the painful look on his face.

Moving to the top of his penis, moisture coated my fingers.

“Remove your hand,” he demanded. But I ignored him. He was wet like me, only not as much. I had to be doing something right.

Opening my hand, hard, hot flesh scorched me while I wrapped my fingers around to stroke him. He was
really
big and thick. I couldn’t fathom how anyone had sex with him. As I applied pressure, he pulsed against my hand and then pinched my nipple, forcing me to squeeze my thighs shut. My back bowed. The pain associated with the pleasure just about threw me over the edge. Kova dropped his lips to my chest. His fingers danced along my sports bra seeking permission but not entering.

“Remove your hand,” he repeated.

“I don’t want to.”

“Adrianna, I can only hold on for so long before I snap. There is no going back once that happens. I will not be able to control myself.”

I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I acted like I did.

“That’s okay.”

“No, it is not. The things I am thinking right now,” he swallowed hard, “I should be appalled at myself.”

“Tell me.”

“Fuck, no.”

“Please...”

“No.”

“What if...what if I tell you what I’m thinking?” I whispered, squeezing the tip of his penis.

“Agh...Hell no. Please do not, I do not want to know.” He dropped his forehead to mine, his eyes cinching shut as I stroked him. His hands moved and became fists on the sides of my head as he fought to maintain composure.

“I want...” I began, my voice shaking, “I want to know what this would feel like sliding in my pussy...deep inside of me.”

“No. No. No. Not now, not ever.” He grunted and groaned at the same time. His voice sounded like gravel. “Do not say those things to me. I am struggling to hold on here.”

I whimpered. I was throbbing. “I need to come and I want to feel this here.” I angled his penis toward my entrance, which ended up being a bad idea. My eyes rolled shut and we both strained against each other.

“Christ,” he thumbed my clit.

“That feels so good,” I whispered, my voice foreign. Even between the clothes it felt incredible.

Kova moaned so loudly I shivered. “No...We cannot...”

“We can go back to my place.”

“Are you fucking crazy?”

I answered him with a stare and a slight tip of my brows. Kova made me want to discover more about my body, and his. “I would never say anything, I’m good at keeping secrets.”

“Exactly. All the more reason for nothing more to happen. Your father would ruin me if we fucked, because you know if we go back there that is what is happening. I am two seconds from ripping your clothes off as it is.”

My jaw dropped. I was rendered speechless.

He shook his head frantically. “I cannot be alone with you anymore. It is not safe for a number of reasons.”

“Then let’s do it here,” I blurted out.

“Not a chance.”

“Please, Kova, I’m begging you. I want to do it. You make me feel so good, I want more of that feeling.”

“I do not do
it
, in the sense you are thinking, Ria. I would hurt you. Sex is not always gentle and sweet like you assume it is.”