BAYOU NOËL (4 page)

The female’s expression was set in lines of
stern determination. She could be as stubborn as her son—

No, no, no.

She’d stopped thinking about Garrick.

The bastard.

The hot and brutally sexy bastard.

“Something I should have done years ago,” the
female said in cryptic tones. “May I come in?”

“Course.” Molly instantly moved back, urging
the older female toward a chair near the fireplace. “Sit down.” She
waited until Virginia had perched on the edge of the leather
wingchair before she grabbed a blanket and tucked it over her lap.
The older female wasn’t disabled but she was frail, and despite her
protests she enjoyed being fussed over. “Do you want some hot
chocolate?”

A small smile touched Virginia’s lips.
“You’re such a good girl, Molly.”

Pain stabbed through Molly’s heart. “Good
girl.” She gave a humorless laugh. “Yeah, that’s me.”

Virginia frowned. “Is there something wrong
with being good?”

“It boring, predictable. Insanely dull,”
Molly said, pacing toward the window. In her mind, she could
visualize how Garrick had probably once thought of her. The tedious
homebody who was in bed by eight and spent her days off baking
cookies. While he was surrounded by sophisticated, beautiful
females who could no doubt speak a gazillion languages, dance the
tango, and make a male have multiple orgasms with just her kiss. “I
don’t want to be house slippers. I want to be four-inch
stilettos.”

“Because of Garrick,” Virginia murmured.

Had he seen her that way tonight? Molly
wondered. Naked, calling out to him, climaxing against his hungry
mouth? She supposed he had, and yet he’d still walked away.

“It doesn’t matter.” Molly heaved a sigh,
wrapping her arms around her waist. “Not anymore.”

The older female cleared her throat. “Can I
give you a little insight into the mind of my son?”

Molly
hunched her shoulders.
Do I have a choice? Do I really want to know more
about this male I can’t seem to get out of head? Or my
heart?

“Garrick is brilliant, there’s no doubt about
that,” Virginia said. “And he’s one of the finest Diplomats the
Pantera have ever known.”

Molly turned back to meet the older female’s
steady gaze. “He had good genes.”

Surprisingly, Virginia grimaced. “Not so good
when it comes to the important things in life.”

“What do you mean?”

Virginia touched the plain silver band on her
finger. Pantera didn’t exchange traditional wedding rings, but
mated pairs often had matching bands made to symbolize their
union.

“Before his death, Garrick’s father and I
were always a pretty non-traditional kind of couple. We both loved
our jobs and traveling the world, which meant that we spent very
little time together.” She smiled as Molly tried to hide her
confusion at any couple being happy to live apart. “Oh,
occasionally we would meet somewhere for a weekend, but it was rare
for us ever to be home at the same time. As a result, Garrick grew
up being raised by various relatives and friends.”

Molly wondered if Virginia was feeling
guilty. “He turned into a fine male,” she was swift to reassure
her. “You must be very proud.”

The older female nodded, her expression
difficult to read. “Very proud, but I also understand that his lack
of a stable home has made him doubt his ability to become the sort
of male who would make a good father and husband.”

Molly frowned. She’d never really considered
how Garrick’s past might have influenced his obvious fear of
commitment. Was that what he’d been saying before he left her
place? Why he’d thought she deserved someone else? Someone better
than him?

She had to wonder if he also thought that she
expected him to become a Mr. Homebody, when that would obviously
drive him nuts.

“I’m not asking him to change,” she said.

“Of course you are, my dear,” Virginia
reprimanded, her expression softening. “Garrick knows firsthand the
trials of having a family who weren’t there for him. And if you’re
being honest with yourself, you would admit that the thought of
having a mate who was constantly gone would eventually destroy you.
You have an emptiness inside you that needs to be filled with a
male who can give you all of himself, not just a small part.”

Molly blinked back the stupid tears that
filled her eyes.

Virginia was right.

Even if she could somehow manage to convince
Garrick they were destined to be together, he would either leave
her for months at a time, or he would force himself to stay, and
eventually grow to resent her.

A savage pain ripped through her heart,
nearly sending her to her knees.

“So there’s no hope,” she rasped.

Virginia rose to her feet, moving to lay a
hand on Molly’s cheek. “There is if you’re willing to
compromise.”

Molly frowned in confusion. “How?”

“Think outside the box,” she urged. “Garrick
can take a more permanent position somewhere that needs your
skills. The Goddess knows that a trained Healer is always welcome
among the Diplomatic faction outside the Wildlands.” She shrugged,
her expression thoughtful as she mulled over the possibilities. “Or
he could stay in the Wildlands to train the new Suits half the
year, and the other half you could travel with him. So long as
you’re together, everything will fall into place.” With a smile,
Virginia squared her shoulders and turned to make her way back to
the door. “Now I must leave.”

“Wait.” Molly hurried behind her. “Where are
you going?”

“To remind my foolish son it’s almost time
for the candle-lighting ceremony.”

“But…”

Molly gave a slow shake of her head as
Virginia briskly stepped out of the apartment and closed the door
behind her.

It felt like she’d just been hit by a
mini-tornado.

Or manipulated by a very fine negotiator, a
voice whispered in the back of her mind.

Catching her lower lip between her teeth, she
moved to the mantel and touched the small star ornament next to her
parents’ picture. It was the last gift she’d ever received from
them. Her mother had told her that she’d chosen it so Molly could
have something to make her Noël wishes come true.

Now Molly closed her eyes and made the Noël
wish that came from the very depths of her soul.

“You’re a fool, Loriot.”

The statement brought Garrick’s head around.
He frowned. Raphael was headed his way, following the path of
moonlight leading to the water’s edge.

Garrick snorted and turned back to face the
bayou, and all the barges moving lazily down it with the current.
“Tell me something I don’t know, brother.”

“All right.” Raphael came to stand beside
him. “You’re scared.”

With a half-assed snarl, Garrick turned and
gave his mentor a curious glare. “How the hell do you know about my
fight with Molly?”

“I don’t,” Raphael said with a small grin.
“But if you’re out here, staring into space—”

“I’m not staring into space,” Garrick
corrected, gesturing toward the throng of barges in the water, and
the yards of spruce trees bracketing the bayou on either side.

“Right,” Raphael amended. “It’s actually
worse than that. Staring at all the Pantera heading down the bayou
in their barges, huddling close together, the spirit of the season
in their eyes and their smiles—waiting for the moment when they get
to light the candles on their family tree. Yes. Staring at them
instead of being with Molly, taking her in your arms, showing her
just how goddamn much you want to claim her—”

“Enough, Raphael,” Garrick nearly growled. He
didn’t want more images of his and Molly’s highly erotic time
together sifting through his mind.

But they came anyway.

Christ, he could still taste her.

“Is the truth too painful to hear?” Raphael
asked.

“That’s not my truth,” he grumbled.

“
Bullshit. I’ve known you a long time, brother. And ever
since Molly came to work for you, you’ve made it a priority to both
stay away from her, and to know everything she’s doing or who she
might be seeing when you’re not around.” His brow drifted up. “If
that isn’t wanting, needing,
loving
,
I don’t know what is.”

Garrick’s gut twisted. He hated his mentor’s
words, but despised the truth in them more. At first when he’d
hired Molly, things had been so easy. He’d come home for a day or
two, then leave again. No problem. But as they’d started to get to
know each other better, and their letters had started taking on a
flirtatious edge, things had changed. Whenever he was home,
whenever he was around her, in the same room, he couldn’t take his
eyes off her.

He wanted to touch her.

Kiss her.

Claim her.

It was then that he’d decided it was better
to stay away. He’d known what he didn’t have to offer. And god,
what she did.

“Do you want to be with her, Garrick?”
Raphael asked, cutting through his thoughts.

“More than I’ve ever wanted anything,” he
said without hesitation.

The male cursed. “Then why stay away?”

Garrick turned to him, grimaced. “Like you
said, brother, I’m a scared fool.”

Raphael nodded his understanding. “Glad you
can admit it. And shit, welcome to the club.”

Garrick arched a brow. “What do you know
about it?”

“I’m sure someday down the line I too will be
faced with my fear. Giving myself to a female who holds my
once-caged heart in her hands.” Raphael inhaled deeply,
thoughtfully. “But perhaps there’s something worse for us to
fear.”

Garrick’s brows knit together. “What’s
that?”

The male’s gold eyes flashed. “Losing your
mate. Watching every damn day as the female you adore above all
things gives her love to another.”

The words took only seconds to sink in, but
when they did, they took root and spread like wildfire. Molly
giving her love, her body, her wonderful soul to another…

Never.

Goddess, never.

Garrick shifted into his puma and took off.
He was several yards away when Raphael called to him.

“Hey! Don’t forget the lighting ceremony.
Starts in an hour.”

Oh, that’s exactly where I’m going
, Garrick thought.
To get my family, bring them back for the
Loriot tree lighting. This year, and, Goddess willing, every year
thereafter
.

Garrick gave his mentor one last growl before
turning away and darting into the trees.

Molly waited until she was sure the families
would all be in their barges, headed down the canal to find their
trees.

It wasn’t that the other Pantera wouldn’t go
out of their way to make her feel a part of the festivities. They
were always eager to ensure that she was included. Sometimes to the
point where she wanted to scream.

Still, watching the others light their
candles, while she stood alone by her tree, was always a painful
duty.

At last, confident that the majority of the
Pantera were gone, Molly slowly left the dormitory and headed
toward the canal. In one hand she held her candle, and in the other
was the small picture of her parents. They might not physically be
with her, but she knew they would be with her in spirit.

Lost in memories of happier times, she was
suddenly caught off guard when a shadow detached itself from a
nearby cypress tree and prowled to stand directly in her path.

“I was beginning to think I was going to have
to come in there and drag you out,” a low male voice teased.

Molly gave a small gasp, her heart slamming
against her ribs as she ran an avid gaze over Garrick’s painfully
familiar face.

She’d intended to spend the few minutes it
would take to reach the canal shoring up her defenses before having
to endure an awkward confrontation. Now she felt too raw…too
exposed.

“Garrick,” she breathed, her tongue peeking
out to dampen her dry lips. His eyes darkened to the color of
melted honey as he allowed his gaze to linger on her mouth.
“Where’s your mother?”

“She went to the tree with her new Healer,”
he said, his voice distracted as he lifted a hand to gently push a
stray curl off her flushed cheek.

Her heart squeezed with a wistful regret that
she wouldn’t be with the older female.

Cutting all contact might be for the best,
but it didn’t make it any easier on this special night.

“You should be with them.”

“
No.” He
stepped close enough to wrap her in the heat of his body, and for
the first time she noticed that he wasn’t wearing his usual suit.
Instead he was dressed in a casual pair of jeans and a cashmere
sweater that emphasized his dark beauty. God. He was…divine.
“
We
should be with
them.”

We? She frowned.

“I told you, I’m not returning as your
mother’s Healer.”

He cupped her chin in his palm, staring at
her with an intensity that made her shiver.

“How about you return as her daughter?”

Molly’s mouth fell open, her heart forgetting
to beat. “Garrick—”

“Wait.” He pressed a finger to her lips.
“Just let me speak.”

Bossy Diplomat. She sent him a dry glance.
“You do a lot of that.”

“Point taken,” he wryly conceded, his thumb
absently brushing her bottom lip. “I’m going to show you that I can
do something very, very good that doesn’t take any words at all.
But first…” He grimaced even as Molly trembled in anticipation. She
might be pissed at this male, but that didn’t keep her body from
craving him again and again, and with a vigor that was downright
indecent. “I have a confession.”

“I’m listening,” she said.