Being True (9 page)

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“Holy fuck!” she practically screamed.

I tried to shush her into silence, but she continued cursing and staring over my shoulder. I rushed to the door of the computer lab, where we were working by ourselves, to listen for Mr. Avila’s footsteps. If he’d heard her cursing, she’d be in trouble.

“I should have known,” she said. “It makes sense. No wonder I liked him so much.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked after sticking my head through the doorway. Mr. Avila was not stomping toward us. He sat in his office listening to music while the rest of the staff worked to meet their deadlines.

“I’m such a big dumbass, but I can see it so clearly now.”

“Will you tell me what’s going on?” I asked as I made my way back to where she was having a meltdown.

“Just look at the pictures,” she said gesturing to the images I’d taken that morning.

They were pretty good shots for selfies. In each one, Javi’s arm hung around my neck, and seeing the photos brought me back to earlier that morning. I still remembered the warm weight of Javi’s arm, and the tingling sensations the contact had caused across my body. It had been as if hundreds of feathers were stroking my skin at exactly the same time. I hadn’t wanted the moment to end.

My smile was still all teeth, and I did look like a horse. That would probably never change, but from the angle I’d taken the shots, my nose and ears looked almost normal.

“Do you see it?” she asked, obviously greatly concerned.

“See what?” I looked from one photo to the next. The only thing different was Javi’s expression. A shy, hopeful smile had replaced his trademark grin in one of the five.

“So he’s not grinning like he does all the time,” I answered. “So what?”

“Oh, my God!” she said. She practically pulled her purple-tinged hair out by the roots. “He’s not looking at the camera. He’s looking at you.”

“Take a chill pill, why don’t you. It’s not like we don’t have others.” I pointed to the other photos on the screen. In them, Javi looked squarely at the camera with his standard mischievous grin. “We can use one of those. Unless you want to do a reshoot without me in the shot. I can certainly understand that. I didn’t want to be in the picture, but Javi insisted.”

Claudia took several deep breaths to calm down. Apparently, I wasn’t seeing what she was.

“Men
are
oblivious.”

“So what am I missing?”

“Javi likes you.”

What was so shocking about that? Of course he liked me. Why else would he have said hi to me yesterday or done any of the others things he’d done? “And you find this so shocking you practically turn into a foul-mouthed sailor?”

“You don’t understand,” she said. “Look at the picture.
Really
look at the picture.”

So I did, and I saw everything I did before. Except this time I noticed Javi’s eyes. The ones that had locked onto my soul the first time our gazes connected. He looked down upon me with a tender affection I’d only seen once before. In a picture of my parents where my father was looking at my mother.

Suddenly the meaning of the word “like” took on a whole different meaning. But it couldn’t be true. Claudia had read more into the expression than there was. Javi didn’t like me in
that
way. He wasn’t even gay.

Javi probably liked me as much as his lucky gym socks and not one bit more.

E
VEN
THOUGH
Claudia had wanted to discuss the matter further, I saw no reason to. I’d made up my mind she was either delusional or crazy. Telling her so had gone about as well as grabbing a hornet’s nest and shaking it like a tambourine.

She’d buzzed in anger before zooming out of the lab, and I hadn’t seen her since. Although I hadn’t liked upsetting her, I’d stuck to my guns. It was ridiculous to think someone as popular and attractive as Javi would in any way be interested in a pipsqueak outcast like me.

Besides, Javi could pick any girl from the packs of admirers who constantly swarmed about him. And with the way he flirted with them, Javi couldn’t be any more of a red-blooded American boy if he tried.

“Will you call me after the game this weekend?” a girl asked Javi.

I turned away from the bike rack, where I’d promised I’d wait for him after school so we could ride home together, and glanced up the front stairs. At the top, Javi was propped against the door, his backpack slung over his left shoulder, as his latest crush leaned into him.

Her name was Leticia, and she sat next to me in economics. Nobody called her Leticia, though. Everyone called her Letty because, according to rumor, Letty let pretty much any boy do whatever he wanted to her.

She was attractive in that slutty, low-class way that appealed to most guys. She wore blouses at least two sizes too small to emphasize her full, round boobs and had gotten in trouble at least twice that week for showing too much cleavage. Far too much makeup clung to her eyelids, cheeks, and lips, and whenever she bent over, which was far more frequently than necessary, her ass crack peeked out to say hello.

If Letty had her way, more than just her butt cleavage would be making their acquaintance with Javi. She was practically molesting him right there on the front steps. She offered up her boobs while flipping her raven hair from side to side. I couldn’t help but notice how Javi resembled a rabbit caught in a trap. His eyes frantically darted from side to side as if he was looking for an escape route.

I decided to give him one. “Hurry up, Javi,” I called, “or we’re gonna be late.”

The panic in Javi’s eyes floated away when he saw me waiting for him. A grateful smile replaced the wide-eyed panic. “I’ll be right there,” he called.

I nodded in pretend annoyance as Letty glared at me. If she’d had a knife, I’d be filleted and skewered.

Javi gave Letty a hug, which she leaned her entire body into. I wanted to shove her down the stairs, before he stepped out of it and bounded down the steps.

“You’re a lifesaver,” he whispered as he made short work of his bike lock. What was that about? Most teenage boys would have tripped over themselves for a chance with such an obviously easy score. But I didn’t have time to contemplate because a few seconds later, we were speeding away from school and Letty, who kept yelling for Javi to call her.

For the first few blocks, we rode in silence. Javi breathed deeply and smiled as the wind buffeted his skin and blew through his hair. He resembled a child first learning how to ride more than a high school senior who should probably be driving home in a convertible. Most kids our age would hate being forced to pedal to and from school. Not Javi. His innocent smile indicated how much he was enjoying this.

“No practice today?” I asked when he suddenly noticed me staring at him like Letty had earlier.

He snickered. “Nope. Coach gives us one afternoon off each week. But that’s only before the season starts. Then it’s practice every damn day. But until then, I intend to take advantage of my freedom.”

“What are you gonna do?” I asked after we cut through a particularly busy intersection.

A lopsided grin replaced the innocent smile. “Follow me,” he said before veering onto a side street and pumping his bike as fast as his muscled legs would go.

I had to strain to keep up with him. Had Javi forgotten I wasn’t a toned athlete like him? After what felt like a mile at top speed, he stopped pedaling and coasted. My lungs had never been more grateful. I was wheezing, and the stitch in my side reminded me of an appendicitis attack I’d had in the third grade.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked through ragged breaths.

Javi answered with a nod of his head.

A few yards in front of us stretched a park about seven neighborhood blocks long. Its rich, lush grass carpeted the entire expanse, and huge, leafy trees reached high into the sky. We rode past a playground where little kids ran through a wooden play jungle or took rides on swings powered by their parents. Directly across from the laughing children were three empty tennis courts, but beyond those two areas, there was nothing but a clear path of green against the concrete backdrop that was inner city San Antonio.

“Wow!”

Javi nodded. “I think so too.” He aimed his bike for the biggest elm tree, directly in the center of the park, and dismounted. I joined him, and we let our bikes fall to the grass before sprawling out underneath the branches of the tree. The cool blades brushed against my skin, made warm from the feverish bike ride, and a refreshing breeze whipped around the tree and us.

“It’s so peaceful here.”

“Yes,” Javi said from my right. I had my eyes closed, taking the sweet air into my lungs. “I like to hang out here on my days off practice. Or sometimes just to get away. It’s my escape from the real world.”

My eyes fluttered open. Was it because he was gay and hiding it like Claudia suspected? Or was I reading more into his words because of Claudia’s misguided perception?

Even though I trusted my gut over Claudia’s suspicions, I had to ask. “What do you need to escape from?”

“Responsibilities. Expectations.” He paused, as if there was something more he wanted to say but found the words too difficult to voice. “Whatever happens to be stressing me out,” he finally added.

I sat up and leaned my back against the tree. “And what’s stressing you out?”

“What doesn’t stress me out?” he asked in reply.

“You’re being very vague,” I said. “If you don’t want to talk about it, I understand. Sometimes I do that too. Talking about things makes them too real.”

“Is that why you’ve never told me about the fight? Or who beat you up?”

Not really. But since it was a partial truth, I’d go with that for now. “Yeah.”

“I’d really like to know,” Javi said. He kept his eyes closed, thank God. If he’d opened them, I’d have told him everything, and I didn’t want that. I’d seen how concerned he was about Rance being in ISS that morning. How could he put his new friend in the middle of such a conflict? It was better to keep what happened between Rance and me from him for now.

“It’s not important anymore,” I said. “Especially when it’s easier to overlook things and move on.”

Javi opened his eyes and stared at me. Why did I see hope reflected in his gaze? “And does that work?”

Not really. No matter how many times I tried to avoid a problem, there usually arrived a time when I had to deal with it. Sweeping crap under the rug only lasted so long before you couldn’t help but see the huge lump underneath. “I guess not,” I finally said.

“Didn’t think so” was all he replied before shutting his eyes once again.

His bright features darkened as sadness overcame him. He lay there, trying to float away from the concerns of the world that held him fast to the ground. Javi was so starkly different from the carefree boy I’d met yesterday that I didn’t quite understand what had happened in just a few short hours. It was almost as if the Javi everyone else knew, the one who walked around with the lopsided grin that charmed the world, didn’t truly exist.

The real Javi was far less confident and walking along a thorny path in the dark.

“Wanna talk about it?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

He sighed. When he opened his eyes, the devil-may-care grin that snaked across his lips was all the answer I needed. “It’s just baseball,” he said as he sat up. It was obviously only a partial truth. His inability to look me in the eye reminded me of my dear old stepdad. That man could weave a tale most people would buy, but his eyes had been his tell. Javi, it appeared, suffered from the same tick.

“What do you mean?” I asked, deciding it was better to play along than call my new friend a liar.

“I’ve got tons of pressure to take us to state. If the team can get us there again, a college scout might notice me. And if he does, I’ve got a free ride to college. Which is something I really want to do. I don’t want to be stuck here forever,” he said, sweeping his arms around him. Javi was not referring to the beautiful park he’d brought me to. He wanted out of the barrio and to get away from the poverty that clung to its inhabitants like tar.

“That is a lot of pressure,” I agreed. “But I’m sure your parents will support anything you end up doing.”

Javi glanced at me askance before snuffing. “My parents are the worst!”

Who was he kidding? “You’re parents are the best,” I said, feeling the need to stick up for two people who had been nothing but nice to me.

“Oh, they are great, but they’re the worst at piling on the pressure.” He cleared his throat and said in a thick Spanish accent, “You’ve got to win, mijo. You’ve got to show them how good you are so they will pay for your school.” He was apparently trying to mimic his mother. He cleared his voice again and spoke in his father’s deep voice. “You’ll be the first Castillo to make something of himself. The first to get out of the neighborhood. And the first to move us all into his mansion when he’s a famous athlete.”

After he finished mimicking words that clearly haunted him, Javi let loose a lungful of air. What was I supposed to say to that? Javi had a lot riding on his shoulders. No wonder he was stressed out. But what bothered me the most was this didn’t seem to be everything that troubled my friend.

“And now Rance is being a dick weed,” Javi mumbled.

Was this the true cause of Javi’s distress? “What do you mean?”

“Well, you know he’s in ISS?” Of course, I knew. I was most likely the reason. I nodded, and he continued. “Well, I tried talking to him after school today. To see what the hell he did to get in trouble this time because Rance is
always
in trouble! It’s been that way since I met him in fourth grade.”

Since fourth grade? How could I compete with that kind of history?

“And you know what that fucker did?” Javi asked. This time he locked eyes with me. Whatever Javi was about to reveal was the complete truth.

“What?”

“He told me to fuck off and then walked away.”

I didn’t know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that. “Do you know why?”