BLIND: A Mastermind Novel (50 page)

He paused and glanced at her from the corner of his eye. “Are you calling me a bully?”

“No, of course not. I’m calling you an asshole.”

He scowled at her then shook his head, rolling his eyes like she was beneath him.

She sighed. It really bothered her that he could dislike her this much without even knowing her. “I was coming up here to apologize, but you make that impossible. I don’t know why I bothered.”

He stacked the tablets in a box and faced her, arms crossed at his chest. “
You
were coming to apologize.”

“Yes.
”
She fidgeted. “It turns out—after taking some time to think—I remember a lot more than I thought I did about high school. I wasn’t always nice and there were some times I stood by when terrible things happened to all of you… when I probably could have intervened. You don’t have to forgive me, but I need you to know that I’m sorry for that. The person I am now would have done something.”

“Why didn’t you?”

She shrugged. “I was a kid. I didn’t respect myself enough to expect it from others. Maybe I was scared if I stepped in that they would have turned on me. You should know I also wasn’t immune to Bobby’s cruelty. He bullied me in a different way, but it was enough to keep me quiet and too afraid to interfere.”

Something changed in Elliot’s expression as his entire demeanor softened. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know he…was mean to you.”

Her smile was regretful. “That’s the thing about being an insecure little girl. I didn’t know it at the time either. I just thought the way he treated me was normal.”

“Well, I accept your apology and I’m sorry for being…an asshole.”

She cautiously grinned, feeling like a modicum of damage had been repaired. “Thanks.
”
Seeing he wasn’t into discussing things further, she slipped away.

As she left the room, Jet, again, chased her down. “Hey.”

“Hi Jet.”

He shook his head, appearing a bit frazzled. “What’s with you? You ask for a contact, I give it to you, and you never get in touch with Asher. What’s your deal?”

Taken aback, she stiffened defensively. “Nothing is with me. I figured some stuff out and realized it might be easier for everyone if we just let the past go. Forgive what is and move on. I was trying to do what’s right.”

“What’s right? Didn’t you hear me when I said he’s falling apart?”

She was getting a little fed up with everyone picking sides in regard to
her
and
Asher’s
personal life. “And what, exactly, do you think I’m doing? It’s a battle just to get out of bed each morning. If I don’t stay totally regimented I fall completely apart. I went to his
castle,
Jet, and I
saw just how unsuited we are. He contacted me and broke up with me for a reason. He may love me, but he doesn’t like me. There’s just too much hurt between us.”

“
Yo
u’
re wrong. He broke up with you because no on
e’
s ever wanted him before and he does
n’
t know how to believe someon
e—
a woman h
e’
s always put leagues above the res
t—
might suddenly see something in him
.
”

Her nerves were shattered
.“
I do
n’
t think I can handle much more of this
.
”

“So that’s it? You’re just going to walk away?”

“I don’t know what else to do.”

“Talk to him!”

“I can’t!
”
she snapped. “Don’t you see? I fell in love with Mr. Stone. Your friend is Asher Roan. I can’t ask him to be something he’s not. He deserves someone to want him for the man he is.”

“He
is
Stone.”

She shook her head. “No, he’s not. He’s a genius that runs a tech company who happened to go to school with me and made a sizable donation to my students. Other than that, he’s a stranger.”

“You’re wrong. Everything you guys shared was Asher. He never had the courage to be himself until he got to pretend to be someone else. When he was Stone, there was no fear of coming up short. It was the first time he got to be real.”

Frustrated and out of solutions she slapped her hands on her thighs. “If he’s so miserable without me, where is he? It’s been almost two months—”

“He’s scared.”

“The Mr. Stone I knew didn’t get scared.”

“You’re wrong. Everyone gets scared. He’s terrified he’s broken your heart and he doesn’t know how to make this right. He’s afraid, Scarlet, afraid if he makes one more move he’ll break the two of you to the point you’re unfixable. He was so afraid you fell in love with the fantasy, he panicked about disappointing you with the reality.”

She did fall in love with the fantasy. Everything was so screwed up and she and Asher seemed to be taking the same approach. Avoidance was safe. What was the point in making things worse?

Looking into his eyes, she asked, “Did he do this to get back at me?”

“No. He did this because he’s always cared about you. I think part of him thought if he could prove himself to you he could let go of all his insecurities once and for all.”

Well that helped, but it still didn’t fix things. But if he couldn’t confide in her she couldn’t help him. “I don’t know how to fix this. I can’t make him do something he refuses to do and he
doesn’t
trust me.”

Jet looked down, his concern for his friend evident in his tight expression. “He doesn’t trust himself. He’s a great guy, Scarlet. He just…needs to believe in himself.”

“What if I’m scared too? I won’t survive being rejected by him again.”

“He won’t reject you.”

She considered his words, debating if they passed as any sort of guarantee. “Why did he like me, in high school, I mean? What was so special about me? I’m plain, I don’t wear fancy clothes, and my hair’s never been anything more than boring red.”

Jet smiled. “To him, you’re perfect.”

The word wrapped her heart in tender warmth, fulfilling little nicks of insecurity buried deep within her soul.
To him, you’re perfect.

“Perfect’s a tall order to fill.”

“That’s the thing, Scarlet. Now he knows you’re not perfect and he loves you more for all your little imperfections. He has imperfections too.”

“He won’t share them with me.”

“I think,” Jet said slowly. “If you give him one more chance to show you who he is, his honesty would surprise you. Relationships are about meeting each other halfway.”

He’d tried to approach her and she punched him. She still couldn’t believe she reacted like that. Sighing, she said, “I’ll think about it. That’s all I can promise.”

It wasn’t the answer he wanted, but he nodded. “Good enough.”

When she got home that night she tried to distract herself but it was impossible. She wanted to believe he’d confide in her about his feelings if given the chance, but she was scared, scared of being hurt again.

She wanted a man that wasn’t afraid to fight for her, but maybe she had to let him know he had a fighting chance
.
Meet him halfwa
y
…

She glanced at Thor as the credits rolled an
d
Return of the Jed
i
ended. “I know. That one’s my least favorite too.”

Thor glanced her way and flicked his tail.

“You’re totally selfish. Do you know that? Here I am, suffering through my endless emotional turmoil, trying to make the biggest decision of my life, and you’re practically snoring.”

His eyes closed.

“That’s it.
”
She slid him to the empty pillow. “I can’t sit here anymore. I’m going out and you can’t come.”

She drove aimlessly for several miles until she wound up very close to Asher’s house. Pulling to the shoulder of the road, she held the top of the steering wheel and pressed her cheek to the back of her knuckles. “What am I doing?” she moaned, lightly banging her head as she groaned.

Sitting back, she sighed. “Damn it.” Cranking the car into drive, she turned onto the private road. Four windows were illuminated, but the rest remained dark. The sweet scent of burning wood filled the air so she suspected someone was home.

She should have changed, was her first thought as she slowly climbed the ten stairs. Maybe she should go home and come again in the morning, when she was wearing something a little sexier than black slacks and a dated emerald blouse covered in Thor hair.

You’re just making excuses.

Gritting her teeth, she lifted her fist to the door and hesitated. What if he wasn’t alone? Her confidence didn’t return simply because his friends suggested it should. Rather than knocking, her fingers closed around the ornate knob and turned. The large door creaked and slowly opened.

Her breath left in a rush as the expansive foyer gaped before her. Towering walls and classically painted ceilings expanded to a soaring chimney made of the same stone used on the exterior. A flame flickered low in the cavernous hearth and recognition struck with the subtlety of an anvil.

There were two wingback chairs, tall and sewn of the darkest sapphire blue. A small, round leather topped table sat between them and in the corner of the enormous entryway was a wine fridge and an armoire of sorts. Where was he? Did he live here?

Shutting the door quietly, she slipped off her shoes and shut her eyes. The moment darkness surrounded her she remembered how to get to the other room and opened her eyes. Going left, she carefully walked toward a tall set of pocket doors, slightly parted at the center.

She breathed jaggedly, her nerves telling her to go back, but her will insisting she keep going. She deserved to see him, see this place of her past. If he got mad she broke in he could call the cops.
Let’s hope that doesn’t happen.

Her heart thundered behind her ribs with dizzying force as she slid the doors apart, stepped into the massive ballroom and froze. As his face lifted his lips parted, a million words and accusations flung between them as the moment carried through time with cutting implication.

“Scarlet…
”
His gravelly voice ripped through her, countless memories of pleasure assaulting her senses. How many times she’d craved the sound of her name from his lips.

He looked terrible, clearly not expecting company. His hair was a mess and his jaw needed a shave. He looked so ordinary in jeans and t-shirt, yet he still looked beautiful.

He bolted to his feet and took an urgent step forward, as if intending to grab her in his arms. She flung out a steady hand and he halted. His eyes clouded with regret, but he did
n’
t take another step. Slowly, she lowered her arm and drew in a shaky breath.

Her lips pressed tight as her throat contracted, fighting back a sob. “You hurt me.
”
She hadn’t thought about what she might say. The words simply fell out.

His gaze softened as his head lowered. “I know. I’m sorry.”

Her head shook at the unnecessary pain. “Did you do it because of what happened in high school?”

He shook his head. “No.”

“The truth, Asher.
”
It was so strange calling him something other than Mr. Stone.