Boxer Beast (4 page)

"I didn't need your help in there, River!" she spits out. "I can handle my damn self."

"I wasn't handling you," I tell her calmly. "I was getting rid of an obstacle for you, that's all. You don't need to listen to some lame prom queen's bullshit. Do you really care what Becky thinks?"

Faith looks furious, her cheeks blushing something fierce. "Of course not," she lies through gritted teeth, hesitating for a moment before going on. "But my date's in there, River!"

"Right, the oh-so-mysterious Jason," I roll my eyes. "Wasn't he supposed to keep you company? I didn't see him anywhere when those girls were attacking you."

"Those girls?" Faith laughs out loud, the sound bitter and angry. "Let's not forget you had your tongue down one of their throats only minutes before stopping them."

"Yeah, I didn't know they'd pick on you, did I?" I say, rubbing my eyes. "Look, Faith, let's not fight. I'll go in there and get your date, if that's what you want. Just don't make this day shittier than it already is, not today - please."

"Fine, get him!" Faith screams at me. "I don't want to be stuck here with you, River. Just get Jason, and leave me alone."

She's being unreasonable, and I'm a stupid prick for nodding and heading inside. I'm a jerk for actually finding Jason deep in conversation with another girl who doesn't hold a candle to Faith's beauty. And I'm a dumbass for bringing him outside and letting him save the day.

I leave the lovebirds chatting on the lawn and head back to the party. I should just get over her. It's becoming painfully obvious Faith wants nothing to do with me... Yet I'm more in love with her than ever.

A
s soon as
River leaves and I'm left staring at his retreating back, I feel empty and drained of all emotions. I'm already regretting sending him away, but it seems to be my default whenever I'm near him. I'm just so afraid... Of his new status at the 'cool guy', his new popular friends, his bike, his boxing. I'm just scared I don't measure up, and I'll never be good enough. I guess he just proved me right, because he walked away.

My mom used to say, any guy who is worth having will fight for you. And while River sometimes puts up a fight, he never really sticks around long enough to make sure I'm okay. He always leaves that job to someone else - usually my dad, or in this case, Jason.

I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from begging him to come back, and he disappears amidst the other people at the party in the next second. I'm too afraid to go back inside, so I just cross my arms in front of my body and sulk on the lawn, freezing in my T-shirt and jeans.

Finally, River comes back outside in what seems like hours later, even though it's probably only been minutes. I give him an angry look and we lock eyes, his gaze just as enraged as mine. It’s only when he reaches me that I notice he brought Jason with him.

"Hey, Faith!" Jason says with an awkward smile. "Where'd you go? Spent so much time looking for you."

I mumble back something incoherent and Jason grins at River. "Thanks for telling me where she was, man. See you around?"

River looks like he's about to knock Jason out, but he just nods with his lips in a thin line before disappearing back into the house. And even though I don't want it to, it still hurts like hell. It seems that however hard I try to deny it, I will always have a thing for River Xavier.

"...so I'm really sorry, but I'll have to head back home now. Faith? Is that okay? Faith?"

Jason's words finally reach me and I look up at him. "Sorry, what?"

He laughs at me and ruffles my hair, something I've always hated. "Went someplace else in your mind, did you?" he teases me, and it rubs me the wrong way. I hate it when people use a patronizing tone with me.

"Yeah, sorry," I say in a clipped tone. "You were saying?"

"I said I just got a phone call from my mom. My little brother apparently crashed dad's car, and I have to head there to smooth things over. I don't want the next time I see Quentin to be in a casket."

He laughs easily, and I give him an uncertain look. "So, you're leaving?"

"Afraid so. Anything else I can do for you before I go?" he asks, giving me a deep look.

"No, that's okay," I say moodily. "Thanks for bringing me here. It was nice hanging out with you."

One part of me is disappointed he didn't try to make a move, while the other is still preoccupied with thoughts of River. But when Jason leans forward to hug me, he goes in for a kiss. Before I can stop myself, I instinctively turn my head to the side so it only ends up being a peck.

"Hope to see you again soon, Faith," Jason whispers in my ear. Next thing I know, he winks at me and he's gone, leaving me at the party. Only when he's pulling away in his car do I realize he was my ride.

Today is really not turning out to be the best day. I sigh heavily and head to the back of the house. There's a huge pool there, but also an area with an empty playground. I think Becky has a younger sister - she must be the one using the swing set and the slide.

I plop down on one of the swings and stare at the ground. Even though I fight them hard, the tears are threatening to spill from my eyes. And really, it's no one's fault but mine.

I messed everything up. I stood River up and was so rude I didn't even tell him I'd made other plans for the party. I assumed he'd just forget to pick me up, anyway. But dad's call from an hour ago proved me otherwise - River had been at my house and apparently looked 'a bit upset' when I wasn't there to meet him.

And Jason was perfectly nice to me as well, while I treated him horribly.

I deserve everything that happened, I decide with resolution and sigh heavily. I messed up this night royally, all because of my horrible insecurities. I kick at the grass on the ground, mumbling something to myself.

"Who's the stupid, stupid idiot?"

I look up, blushing. River's leaning against the metal rod of the swing set, his eyes gleaming with mischief. And for the first time in months, I feel like I can open up to him.

"Me," I say softly. "I was mean to Jason, and... I let you down. I'm sorry, River."

He sighs and sits down on the swing next to mine. For the next few moments, we hang suspended in the air. River's tall as hell, so his legs reach the ground, while mine flail in the air.

"I will admit it's not the best day I've had," River says, giving me a sideways look. "But it seems like you've been having a hard time, too, Faith."

I shrug, my gaze glued to the ground. I may have opened up for a moment, but that doesn't mean everything I kept bottled up will just come to the surface. Even though I'm talking to River, my dearest and oldest friend... if I can even call him that anymore. I've probably ruined any kind of relationship we had.

The first fat tear rolls down my cheek and hits my jeans-clad knee.

"Hey, Faith," River says softly. "Don't cry, baby."

His word of endearment actually makes my heart stop for a second. God damn my stupid crush on River Xavier. I should've gotten over it years ago, when I first realized I wasn't worthy of his attention.

"Please, baby," he says again, getting off the swing and coming to kneel in front of me. I finally let my eyes float to his, surprised to find his gaze filled with compassion and kindness. I really am a massive bitch. River's been nothing but nice to me and all I do is push him farther and farther away.

"Faith, it's going to be all right. I know things are a bit weird right now. Is there something else going on?" River asks gently.

I shrug again. "I miss my mom a lot," I say simply. Not that River doesn't know. When she died, I spent weeks crying on his shoulder. But now that we've stopped hanging out, I haven't really been able to speak about her. Dad gets touchy whenever I bring her up, followed by worry for my well-being. I'm really handling it okay - if losing your mom at sixteen is something you can handle okay.

But I miss talking about her. Remembering her. Seeing her smile when I walk down the stairs and she's made pancakes for breakfast.

"I know, baby," River says softly. And suddenly, his hand is on my knee and it feels so good to be touched, to have someone care for me, that I start to cry uncontrollably. Sobs rack my body and I'm gasping for air.

Next thing I know, River pulls me up from the swing and wraps me up in an embrace. It feels so familiar yet so alien at the same time. His hands are stronger, more muscular. His scent is more masculine - deeper and muskier. But at the same time, it's still River. My best friend. My first love, not that he knows about the latter.

"You know," he says softly, stroking my hair. "She always made me a cake for my birthday. Remember that?"

Somehow, his soothing motions manages to calm me down a little and I sob quietly now, smiling through my tears. "Yeah," I say with a sad smile. "Carrot cake, your favorite. And I hated it and always moaned about it every year."

I lean my head against River's shoulder and snuggle closer to him. For once, I'm not delving into dangerous territory. I'm not thinking about his lips on mine, or his hands on my naked skin... Okay, maybe now I am. But it feels so good to be held like this, for the first time in months.

"I know," River laughs. "I thought of it for the whole day. It really isn't the same without her. My mom baked a cake and burnt it gloriously. Smoldering chocolate lava cake really doesn't compare to your mom's carrot."

I laugh, and after a second, pull away and give River a confused look. "What do you mean?" I ask in confusion. "Why did you have a cake today?"

River smiles slowly at me, and it finally hits me. "Oh my god," I whisper. "Oh my dear god. It's your birthday today."

"Yep," he says with a grin. "I'm nineteen."

"Shit." I rip myself out of River's embrace and cover my mouth with my hands. "River, I completely forgot. I messed up so much... I can't believe it slipped my mind."

The whole day replays in my head, and it's even more awful than I remember it. He came to talk to me. I was rude as hell. He invited me out, I stood him up. And I yelled at him countless times just today. I really am a bitch.

"Don't worry about it, Faith," he says with a small smile. "Happens to the best of us. Remember when I forgot yours when you were four? It was no big deal."

"Yeah?" I raise my eyebrows at him, panicking. "I made you eat a dirt cake instead of the strawberry shortcake my mom made."

"There might've been a worm in it," River grimaces, and I wail.

"River, I'm so sorry," I manage to get out. "I can't believe I forgot!"

"How about you let it go?" he asks, his grin growing wider. "But you can finally wish me a happy birthday, how about that?"

I step closer and take his hand in mine, trying to look as sincere and serious as possible. "River," I say with a solemn voice, making him crack up. "I wish you the bestest, most amazing, special birthday ever. And I hope you find a better friend than me to spend the rest of it with."

"Well, there's only a few hours left," he says, pointing up at the night sky. It's a full moon tonight, and the evening is pleasant and cool. "What do you say we make the best of it? Want to make it up to me for forgetting?”

I look at him for a long time, thinking about his question. And just like that, I realize there's nothing I'd rather do in the world than spend the rest of the night with River.

"Yes," I say with a small smile. "Yes, let's make it a night to remember."

He grins as he pulls on my hand, leading me somewhere with a wink. "Way ahead of you, baby... Way ahead of you."

My heart stops again when he calls me that... I'm such a fool for him.

I
know
she didn't forget about my birthday on purpose. Knowing about all the stuff going on in Faith's life, I really can't blame her for not remembering. Still, the way she wishes me a happy birthday makes me the happiest guy in the world. And I'm determined to spend the rest of the day with her, just like we used to.

We walk over to my bike and I hand Faith a helmet.

"Are you for real?" she asks doubtfully, shaking her head. "I really don't want to ride that thing."

"Are you walking?" I ask with raised eyebrows, and she rolls her eyes, putting the helmet on.

"Looks good on you," I say with a cheeky grin, which earns me a muffled thanks from Faith. She climbs on behind me and I rev the engine, getting ready to get us the hell away from Becky and her gaggle of clones.

"Do you mind if we stop at the gym first? I really have to pick up something," I say apologetically.

To be honest, that last part is a total lie. There's nothing I have to pick up, I'm just trying to think of an excuse to get Faith to the gym. I have something special planned just for her.

"Sure, I guess that's fine," she says over the roar of the engine, and grips to me tightly. I fucking love the feeling of her arms around me, clutching on for safety. I'm grinning as I drive away from the party, leaving everyone behind us.

The gym's not far away, and I pull into the parking lot in the next ten minutes. We climb off my bike and Faith takes off her helmet, shaking out her hair. The way she does that stuns me into silence, and I'm left staring at her. She's just... so fucking beautiful. I don't know whether the fact she has no clue makes it hot as hell or annoying as fuck.

I busy myself with putting away our helmets, then risk it and grab her hand. She looks surprised but I feign nonchalance, pulling Faith towards the back entrance.

"My coach gave me a spare key," I babble. "I spend so much time here, he thought it would be better if I had one. I've been training a lot."

"I noticed," Faith says as I unlock the door, never letting go of her hand. And then we're inside, and I'm leading her towards the boxing bags.

"Are you saying you noticed my extremely handsome, muscular body?" I ask solemnly, raising my eyebrows at Faith.

"Yes, stud," she purrs, fanning her face and grinning at me. Jesus, I could get used to her being all fun and flirty like that. Though I'd probably pounce on her in minutes... the urge is strong already. I'm so desperate to have her in my hands.

"I have to look for something I left here," I tell Faith as I turn on the lights in the room. "I'll be looking around... Do you want to have some fun while I do that?"

"Sure," she shrugs uncertainly, looking around the now lit-up room. "What is there to do here?"

I raise my eyebrows at her, pick some women's boxing gloves off a shelf and throw them her way. She catches one, but misses the other and it lands on the floor. I can barely stop myself from laughing.

"You could try some moves on that thing over there," I point to a boxing bag. "I'll just be a minute."

With that, I leave the room before Faith can object. I know she's not a boxer, of course, but I wanted to get her to the gym to maybe help her let go of some steam.

Okay, fine, and I wanted to impress her with my awesome moves, as well. Anything to get that pretty little face smiling.

I sneak into the changing rooms and peek around the door, trying to see what Faith will do. I'm not really looking for anything, but I make a mental note to bring out a pair of sneakers from my locker and pretend I forgot them here.

Faith doesn't do much of anything at first, standing in the middle of the room and stepping from one foot to another awkwardly. She's so fucking beautiful. Even if the room were full of people, my gaze would go to her. Always to her... It's always been that way. If only she'd let me close enough to see for herself we make perfect sense together.

She looks at the boxing bag, looking unsure of herself. Finally, she puts the gloves on and awkwardly hits the bag. It doesn't even move. She looks uncomfortable as fuck. I need another trick - thankfully, I have an ace up my sleeve.

"Mind if I put on some music?" I shout, heading for the stereo.

"No, that's ok," she yells back, and I put in a CD I made for myself to work out to. It's all fast, angry tracks with aggressive beats. Perfect for letting out all the anger and frustration that's building deep inside. I should know - I've beaten the hell out of that boxing bag quite a few times, always thinking about the way Faith's been treating me lately. Always ignoring me, looking away, refusing there was ever a connection between us.

When I started training, my life changed without me wanting it to. I got into a different clique at school, and people liked me better. I got bulkier, and I finally filled out. I never wanted things to change between Faith and me. Well, maybe just the fact that we weren't dating...

But she pushed me away, pushed so much and so far that I'd nearly given up. Today is the first light of sunshine in this dreary new world. She's warming up to me again. Truth be told, I haven't changed as a person, and I know Faith will always be one of the good girls. We'll always get along. Six-pack abs and a new haircut don't mean I'm a different guy.

Faith is listening to the music, I can tell. Her hips start swaying which makes me grin, the way she lets go of her inhibitions once she's alone. She starts hitting the punching bag again with more determination this time around. She has a focused look on her face as she starts working the bag. One deal at a time. Slowly, slowly, she's letting go.

After a little while, I can tell she's in the zone, so I move into the doorframe to get a better look at her.

Faith is so beautiful when she lets go.

Her hair wild, her cheeks blushed, her mouth all sexy and pouty. She pushes her glasses up on the bridge of her nose and exhales.

I can feel my cock getting hard in my jeans, so desperate to get closer to her. I want her. I want the sexy, geeky neighbor girl more than ever.

She's really getting into it now. Punching the bag hard, just like I was doing hours earlier. I can see her trying to get rid of all those demons haunting her, and I want to help her. I want her to get it all out until she can finally breathe. I know how helpful the boxing is. I've been trying to shut the voices of my own demons for a year now.

I approach her slowly, and as soon as Faith sees me coming closer, her posture stiffens and she stops hitting the bag. "It's okay," I tell her softly. "Let me help you, okay?"

She hesitates before finally nodding, and I come closer, standing behind her. We're so fucking close now, almost touching but not quite. I need to feel her skin against mine so very badly, but I settle for pressing closer, the contact of skin-to-skin stopped by the clothes we're wearing.

I take a hold of Faith's wrists, positioning them the right way. "Look, you have to hit like this, otherwise you'll hurt your knuckles," I tell her softly, slowly moving her hands so she hits the boxing bag.

She relaxes in my arms, but only a little bit. I can still feel the tension deep inside of her, the knots in her shoulders and the way she doesn't want to let go completely.

I get it, honestly. I was the same when I was starting out, afraid of letting go of everything. But when my coach taught me to relax and give it my all, the wins started coming. The weight on my shoulders started dropping. I got better, and my head got clearer. I want the same for Faith.

I help her for a little while longer, and with each punch, she grows more relaxed in my arms, until she's almost hitting the bag herself. "You're doing so well," I say proudly into her ear, and before I can stop myself, I've pressed a tender kiss to her hair. She's shorter than I am, and she fits perfectly into my arms, as if we were made to hold each other.

Faith moves away fast, always fleeing from my arms. She looks at the floor, her cheeks burning up with a deep blush. "Okay, think I'm done," she says shyly. "We should get going... I'm sure you don't want to spend your birthday boxing with me, right?"

I laugh, throwing my head back. Coming closer to Faith, I take her hands in mine and catch her fearful gaze. "There's no place I'd rather be," I tell her honestly, pulling her back to the bag.

"Now show me what you've got, Faith. I don't believe that's the best you can do, is it?"

She gives me a defiant look. "I'll show you," she mutters under her breath and moves in closer to the bag. "I was holding out on you, River. Didn't wanna embarrass you, you know."

I'm grinning as I watch her steady the bag. "Oh, I see. You didn't want to beat me at my own game, did you?"

"Obviously." She's laughing now. She starts punching the bag tentatively, and I'm proud to notice she's doing it the way I taught her. Faith is so sweet, so... fucking irresistible as she gives that boxing bag all she's got.

All I can do is watch her hitting, hissing and letting her rage out on that bag. I can tell the exact moment when she forgets I'm in the same room with her. I can tell by her determined expression, her tightly pressed together lips and the way she's hitting the bag with determination I've never seen in her before. She's going to let it all out, finally. And I'm so happy.

I retreat to the corner and watch my brave girl. She's wearing herself out, but the adrenaline in her veins means she doesn't know it yet. Her hair is plastered to her forehead, her look one of steely determination. She's hitting the bag harder - not as hard as I usually do, but it's obvious she's doing her best.

She delivers one last blow when I see her expression falter. And I reach Faith just in time to stop her falling to the floor. I take her in my arms as she breaks, tears flowing from her eyes.

"River," she whimpers.

"Shh, it's okay," I try to calm her down. "I know, baby. Shh, it's okay."

I cuddle her as she whimpers and cries. The same thing happened to me when I was starting out. I'd broken out in a rage instead, punching everything that came close to me. I know the feeling. You feel so utterly vulnerable and raw that you just can't stop from breaking down.

I knew it would happen to Faith. I needed it to happen. I know it will help her in the long run, but I'm not about to tell her that.

Right now, all she needs is for me to hold her. And I do just that until she slowly starts shaking in my arms and the whimpering stops. She's cuddled close to my chest, gripping onto my T-shirt, which is soaked from her tears.

"Sorry," she says, and I can hear the embarrassment in her voice. She tries to pull away, but I don't let her. I need her close to me, just like she needs me.

"It's okay, baby," I tell her softly. "You just got emotional. It happens to everyone. Do you want to tell me what you're thinking about?"

She shakes her head uncertainly, but still, the words spill out of her mouth. "I thought about everything at home... How angry I am about what's happening, you know?"

I nod, smoothing down the hair on top of her head. I'm so tempted to kiss her right now, but even my fucked up mind knows that would be taking advantage. So I settle for pulling her closer, inhaling her shampoo. Strawberries and vanilla. Fuck.

"It'll be all right, baby," I tell her calmly.

"How do you know?" she whimpers. "It wasn't all right with my mom. What makes you think it will be okay with Dad? You really think he'll get a new job, and we'll be able to repay all those debts?"

She gives me a long, hard look, and I tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "I don't know what will happen, and I can't promise anything," I tell her honestly. "But your dad is a good man, and you have my family and relatives who will help you whatever happens. You're so very loved, Faith, both you and your dad. And we won't let anything happen to you."

A tear rolls off her cheek and I tentatively swipe it away with my finger. Her skin is smooth and soft and she feels so damn good. So right. Like I should've been doing this right from the start.

She smiles up at me, the last remnants of fear and sadness finally fading from her gaze. Next thing I know, someone turns on all the lights in the room and we hear voices in the changing rooms.

"Fuck," I mutter under my breath, but I can't help the smile that's made its way on my lips.

"Someone's here," Faith hisses, and I grab her, pulling her against my body. Suddenly she's gone compliant, her body relaxing against mine. And is she... Fuck, she is. She's rubbing that tight little ass against the front of my jeans. If she doesn't stop that right this instant, I'm going to throw her on the floor right here and fuck her senseless.

I cover her mouth with my hand and she whimpers, like she actually wants me to do more. God, she's making me harder than ever.

I pull her away as the voices near us. Thankfully, there's a back exit, and that's exactly where we head. I don't have a clue why there's people here in the middle of the night, but if coach finds me here with a girl, I'll have another thing coming.

We finally reach the back exit and run outside, giggling like crazy. Faith's eyes have a sparkle in them and her smile is totally mischievous. Naughty little minx.

She comes closer to me and I grab her by the waist, pulling her closer. She doesn't resist. She knows what's about to happen.

I don't kiss her. "Ever been kissed, Faith?" I whisper against her mouth instead.

She shakes her head no, her lashes fluttering as she looks up at me expectantly. Her chest is heaving against mine. She wants me to kiss her so badly. So badly, she'd probably do whatever I asked of her right now... And I'm about to be that jackass.

"Do you want to be?" I taunt her, and she nods, fast. I raise a finger to her lips and trail it across her cheeks, her chin, pressing down on the center of her pouty mouth. "You want to be kissed here... and here, and here?"

"Please," she whimpers. Oh god, we aren't even kissing yet. She is perfect. "Kiss me, River."

My hand snakes up to her neck and I pull her head back, exposing her throat to my hungry mouth. She's begging, muttering words I don't understand. She sounds so needy... so deliciously desperate for me.